Chapter 61
Chapter 61
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: penny
Chapter: 61
Chapter Title: 12. The Unreachable
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Monday morning, as expected, Minhee gave me just a little bit of attitude. The real trouble came from the day before yesterday, Saturday, when Inha stuck up for Hansu and shot me a sullen look. What a hassle that had been.
Minhee soon approached us with her usual bright face, chatting away as normal. She’d even dragged Hansu along. Inha, having teased me that much, picked a pointless fight with Hansu for no reason. The two growled at each other like always.
As we were like that, one of the kids from our class suddenly burst in from outside.
“Big news!! Kang Yesel created her unique magic!!”
That sudden announcement startled us too, and we whipped our heads around. The kids surged toward the classroom door at that one shout.
“What? For real?”
“She created unique magic? Who?”
“Kang Yesel!”
“Oh, yeah, if it’s Yesel, that makes sense, right?”
“Yeah! She’s the best at magic in our grade.”
Kang Yesel—a familiar name. And it wasn’t hard to remember who she was.
‘The kid who fought with me last year and got embarrassed right along with me.’
I hadn’t paid her any mind after our class split. Come to think of it, she was in the same class as Sihwa now.
From that one piece of news on Monday morning, not just our class but the entire grade turned into chaos. Even the teachers were whispering about it. Developing unique magic at the age of ten was no small feat. We weren’t ones to talk, but it definitely required more than average talent. Even we got interested in this incident.
So we decided to go find Sihwa, our closest friend in Class 1, Yesel’s class.
A ton of kids—not just us—had crowded into Class 1. The children were noisily chattering with curious expressions around Yesel at the center. Yesel was boastfully talking to the kids when her eyes met mine, and she flinched, freezing up. It was a subtle expression. Ever since that fight back then, things between her and me had gotten awkward somehow. I didn’t care at all anymore, but she still seemed hung up on me. She flinched and looked away.
I glanced around the room. The gathered kids split into two groups: those clustered right around Yesel, and those huddled together, sneaking peeks at her. Sihwa was in the latter group.
“Sihwa!”
Minhee waved her over. Sihwa turned to look at us and flinched. She looked startled somehow. A moment later, Sihwa walked over to us.
“What’s up?”
“What’s up? I heard someone in your class made unique magic?”
“Oh….”
Sihwa glanced back at that, then led us out of the classroom. We followed her lead and stood a bit away from the other kids. Sihwa hesitated a little before speaking in a quiet voice.
“I didn’t think you guys would be interested.”
“Huh? Why not?”
“But… making unique magic isn’t a big deal for you guys, right?”
At that, Minhee glanced at us for a second. Hmm. Hyunho scratched his head. Minhee, Hyunho, and I all said almost at the same time.
“Well, yeah.”
“That’s true.”
“Why not?”
Those were Minhee’s, Hyunho’s, and my words, respectively. Everyone turned to me at my comment. I said it with a puzzled look.
“I mean, isn’t it? Developing unique magic at ten is a big deal, right? Of course we’re interested.”
Sihwa stared at me blankly for a moment at my words. She gazed at me quietly for a bit, then bowed her head slightly and said.
“Yeah… But since it’s Yesel, I thought you’d ignore it on purpose or something….”
“Huh… Why?”
“You fought with her last year, didn’t you?”
“Oh, that. I don’t really care anymore.”
It was all in the past anyway. What good would dragging those feelings around do me? Sure, there was a bit of awkwardness left. But that was it. Sihwa’s face twisted up at that.
“…I see.”
For some reason, Sihwa was clearly shaken, though I had no idea why. I just looked at her, confused. But Minhee, not noticing, asked.
“So? What’s the magic she made?”
“Yeah… She called it ‘form-endowment magic.’”
“‘Form-endowment magic’?”
“Yeah. It’s like manifesting an object with her magic. Then she infuses it with some kind of spell. And that activates the magic. She showed one earlier… A butterfly flew to somewhere and burst into flames when it landed. It was tiny, but… everyone was amazed.”
Wow. I made an amazed face. It wasn’t some common spell you saw everywhere. Not super rare either, but plenty fascinating.
“What’s her mana affinity?”
“I heard light and plant.”
“That’s cool. Sounds fun!”
Incidentally, I was the only one reacting enthusiastically. The others just had that “oh, okay” look. But I was super interested. And for good reason—I could “use” that magic. In my own way, of course.
“Should I try something like that…?”
Inha asked at my quiet mutter.
“What?”
I whispered my answer. Everyone’s attention was on Yesel, but just in case.
“Yeah. Hiding text magic inside an illusion manifestation. I could infuse attributes too. Then I could get the exact same effect as her. Yeah, that’d be good. I think I even jotted that down in my magic development notebook.”
“Wow. You can do that?”
“Yeah. Probably?”
The kids got more interested in my method than Yesel’s magic. I kept talking, excited about discovering a new way to manifest spells.
“…….”
So I didn’t notice Sihwa staring at me in shock.
The sparring training with the seniors flew by. Thanks to Je-hyeon oppa helping me out completely, my combat skills improved just a teeeeeeny bit. But comparing myself to the other kids, I still seemed to lack talent in fighting. Still, Je-hyeon oppa comforted me, saying I had a gift for applying techniques. What was surprising was that the usually strict Je-hyeon oppa “comforted” me.
On the last day of training, after eating an early dinner with the seniors, I stopped by the library alone and ran into Sihwa by chance. She was holding a bunch of books on magic. She froze when she bumped into me. I looked at her steadily and asked.
“What’s up? Borrowing that many books?”
“…Uh….”
Sihwa looked flustered for a moment, then hesitated before saying.
“It’s… for developing unique magic.”
“I see.”
Yeah, with Yesel’s example and all, kids in our grade were starting to think about really developing their own unique magic one by one. Sihwa wasn’t the type with inferior talent compared to the others, so she could probably develop hers sometime this year or next.
The school library was pretty empty. Sihwa glanced around for a second, then asked.
“Today… the sparring training ended, right?”
“Yeah.”
I smiled at that. Sihwa looked at me steadily.
“Last time, you know, when Minhee and the others skipped…”
“Oh, yeah. That happened.”
“That time… I heard Hansu followed you… So why’d you think of doing the training alone?”
Weird. I ignored the cold sweat trickling down my hand and answered calmly.
“Because I wanted to train.”
“…Minhee said it was tough.”
“Yeah, but I like magic. I want to learn everything you can do with it. Combat magic isn’t for me, though.”
“If it was tough for Minhee, it must’ve been brutal. Even then?”
I smiled at that.
“Yeah!”
“…….”
“Of course it’s tough. Nothing comes without effort. Even talent has its limits. And I like putting in the effort.”
The surroundings felt dark somehow, even with the lights on. Sihwa suddenly turned away.
“You’re amazing.”
For a moment, her voice seemed to tremble.
“You’re amazing. How….”
Clomp, clomp. Her footsteps rang clearly in the total quiet as she walked away with her back to me. My chest kept tightening uncomfortably, so I placed a hand there. Then the necklace chain around my neck jingled, and I felt the ring on it. I gripped it tightly, clothes and all.
Something felt off.
After that, even once training with the seniors ended, I kept in touch with Master for frequent sparring or combat drills. Not just combat—I got advice on magic, brainstormed ways to use illusions offensively. Things you couldn’t do with other attribute magic, only with illusions. But offense wasn’t my thing, so I mostly practiced other techniques doable with just magic.
Fall passed into winter. During that time, Inha and I promised to get our ears pierced right on January 1st. Our club accessories kept piling up too, including earrings, so we vowed to definitely do it. Then one day, as the mage rank exam approached, Minhee suddenly said this.
“Sihwa’s been weird lately.”
“How?”
Hansu asked flatly. Minhee frowned.
“Lately, it feels like she avoids me when I talk to her. Or like she’s uncomfortable around me. You know.”
My eyes went wide at that. …Oh.
“Anyway, it pisses me off. She’s just acting strange.”
I suddenly pulled out my phone and scrolled. The last text chat with Sihwa popped up.
『Good news!
I got gold in the writing contest!^^v
Whoa? Amazing^^ As expected of Eunha....
Sorry for replying so late.... 』
What had I thought then?
Oh, right—Sihwa’s grown distant from us….
I must’ve forgotten while doing all sorts of training, obsessing over the gap with these guys, diving headfirst into magic. God, am I an idiot? No… Why am I so thoughtless and selfish?
‘This personality of mine is probably why I never made deep friends in my past life.’
I know that… But here I am thinking the same now.
If Sihwa’s let go of us, if her heart’s already drifted away, then it can’t be helped… or so.
It wasn’t like that with Inha, but… Would I act the same toward my other friends excluding her? If these kids tried to pull away from me, would I just let them go? My face twisted up suddenly. No, no—I wanted to stay close with Sihwa if possible. But if they said they didn’t like me, I felt like I’d just let go, and that scared me. I pressed my lips tight.
I didn’t know what to say to everyone. Above all, Minhee’s words about her avoiding us stuck with me.
If we’d just naturally grown apart over time without noticing until suddenly we did, that’d be fine. That’s how relationships go. But if she’d started avoiding us on purpose… then only one thing came to mind.
‘Talent.’
If that was it, I felt like I’d end up understanding Sihwa.
I knew how pathetic that felt. Being together made her feel inferior and tear herself down. I knew how grueling that was. I knew how pathetic I felt myself. Even without direct comparison, since I saw myself as below average, I knew it well.
That alienation, that loneliness, if it were me… I… .
I pressed my lips shut tight.
For the next few days, I was down. Minhee only brought up Sihwa that one time and seemed fine otherwise. But on the way to Minhee’s house after school as usual, we suddenly ran smack into Sihwa face-to-face.
“…….”
That moment, I clamped my mouth shut against the ominous feeling rising in my chest and stayed silent. But Minhee—she grinned wide, like she’d forgotten what she’d said.
“Sihwa, long time no see!”
“…….”
“Hey, you really doing this? You leave me behind even going to school. You’ve been so….”
Suddenly, Sihwa’s and my eyes met. Sihwa scowled. She turned her head and tried to walk past us. But Minhee grabbed her.
“Listen for a sec?”
I’d thought she was her usual bubbly self. But no. Minhee looked at Sihwa with cold, furious eyes.
“I’m dead serious. Why’ve you been avoiding me lately? You know you’ve been weird? No, you’ve been weird since this year? Looking at us with those strange eyes for no reason… And….”
“Let go!”
Sihwa jerked her head down and sharply slapped Minhee’s hand away. We were taken aback. Well, precisely, Minhee and I stayed somewhat calm. I felt a surge of emotion but kept my mouth shut since I’d half-expected this, while Minhee just watched Sihwa. Her eyes seemed to be suppressing boiling anger.
“I don’t want to be around you guys anymore! That’s why I avoided you! Happy?!”
If she’d just quietly drifted away, it would’ve been better. If we’d just not meshed well and grown apart, or if she’d made closer friends and drifted a bit. Then we could’ve smiled and greeted each other later. It could’ve been like that.
I’d hoped it wasn’t. I quietly stroked my chest.
…I’d hoped it wasn’t.
“Why?”
Minhee asked with trembling eyes.
“Why?”
Sihwa finally lifted her head. Her face was on the verge of tears. She clutched her hair.
“I know… I know you’re not bad, Minhee…. But I, I can’t be around you guys anymore….”
“…….”
Minhee slowly lowered her outstretched hand and looked at Sihwa. I quietly watched Minhee’s back.
“The more I talk to other kids, the more I realize how amazing you guys are. But that’s it. You developed magic before even starting elementary school… And… the school hooked you up with personal tutors… You do magic combat training with the high school student council…. I could never do that, no matter how hard I try, but you guys do it. And you’ve been doing it way before.”
Sihwa continued with trembling eyes full of resentment. Her voice was choked with sobs. I truly felt what it meant to be utterly speechless.
“Isn’t it weird…? At first it didn’t bother me at all, but the more it went on, you guys seemed farther away… It annoyed me, pissed me off…. Why only you guys get to….”
Sihwa lowered the hand she’d clenched into a fist at her chest. Then she glared at us with venomous eyes.
“So, I can’t take it anymore! I know! You’re not bad… It’s me, it’s just… Every time I’m with you, I hate being with you more… I realized it for the first time.”
Sihwa looked at her own hand. Drip. A tear fell from her eye. Her face was filled with rage.
“This is what pathetic feels like.”
…Ah. Those words stabbed my heart. I’d wondered if… a day like this would come someday. Unlike me with my low self-esteem from the start, most kids have high pride. And as they grow, they chip away at it bit by bit. But inferiority, that pathetic feeling—it starts eating away at you from the moment you feel it, in some way.
Kid or adult, when you see someone not on your level, you feel superiority or inferiority. I didn’t feel it because I was aware of my own self-worth. And originally, I was alone. That was it.
I just watched people from afar…. For me, equality was a prerequisite issue.
But Sihwa was different. Sihwa… was still a kid, but not alone.
How many equal relationships can withstand alienation and loneliness completely? Sure, there are bonds where it doesn’t matter. You’re you, I’m me. But how nice it’d be if one sentence could end it all.
Sihwa’s final words made my heart sink.
“Sihwa, you…!”
Before Hansu could say anything, Sihwa turned away with sharp eyes and said.
“You and I are too different.”
It was natural to me, but not to you.
========== Afterword ==========
It bursts. It had to burst.
+++
Thank you for the comments, Newmakuno-nim, Duha-nim, RuMia-nim, MoonAndStarlightSong-nim, Lirute-nim, RyuWolA024-nim, Ostuka-nim, SkyAboveSea-nim, MinTaehyun-nim, Bulebird-nim, Penz-nim, Kaienellia-nim, Rimin-nim, MaleG-nim, Deichia-nim, CleaRuju-nim, SkyCannon-nim, ElSky-nim, Goldy-nim, BlueSilver-nim, MadRabbit-nim, Ardentina-nim, GaramNarae-nim, Silunes-nim, Kakao0-nim, Ramel123-nim, RedFlowerBlueMoon-nim, WhiteMoonBlackWolf-nim, osy0-nim!!
Oh, this novel isn’t romance. Romance is a side dish...... Hm...... It’s important and necessary for the story........but it doesn’t have a huge presence in the plot. The male lead appears in middle school anyway! If asked if it’s romance fantasy or fantasy, I’d say fantasy.