Fools Don't Catch Colds (2)
Beep! What the hell is this lineup?
Didus, the Demon King. He stares in shock at the Pink Dragon Knights' lineup.
Mid lane's short, so minions come fast. Best spot for quick XP gains. Top and bot lanes are long, so jungle's key. Crucial for ADCs who need steady growth too. This game's mine, no question.
Didus chuckles at the items the Pink Dragon Knights bought. Wards only before charging in? Like they're begging to be killed.
Time to snag an early lead.
Didus starts moving.
Minions have been created!
The announcement rings out again. Hotse pauses her leisurely stroll and glances back.
Plod-plod-plod—dwarves in white cloaks march along with swords and shields at the ready.
"Heyyy~~ you lil' guys~~ what're ya?"
[……Beep! No response. Just minions, I guess.]
The minions ignore Hotse's greeting and march right past.
"Heyyy~."
Hotse trails after them, poking their butts with her finger.
[……Beep! No response. Just minions, I guess.]
"Heyyy~~ lil' shorties~~~ why don'tcha~~ answer when yer elders call ya~~?"
Hotse starts openly kneading their butts now.
[……Beep! I said no response! Beep! They're just minions! Stop touching!]
The minions finally react. Hotse cackles and throws an arm around one.
"Whaaat~~ ya can talk~~~ why didn'tcha say so~~?"
[Beep! Idiot, don't walk side-by-side!]
[Beep! You're champions. We're here to protect you.]
"Who~~'s protectin' who~~?"
[Beep! I'll protect you.]
Hotse bursts out laughing. These tiny things protecting her? Whatever. Still, being protected by someone... it's been ages. Truly... ages.
A rock scratched with 999 tallies floats in her mind. And blooming yellow flowers. Hotse falls silent.
Being protected isn't always carefree. She knows that better than anyone.
Then, the minion speaks without turning, still facing forward.
[Beep! Champions aren't supposed to talk to minions.]
"...Why not?"
[Beep! Can't get attached. We're your shields—feelings would make it hard.]
"Why~~ protect us~~?"
[Beep! 'Cause you're AlphaGo's friends.]
"...!"
Hotse stops dead. The minion pulls ahead, still facing forward, continuing.
[Beep! I've served her for ages.]
[Beep! She was alone for so long.]
[Beep! She's thrilled to have you all now. Always.]
[Beep! Take good care of AlphaGo.]
The minion rounds the corner and vanishes into the gorge, never slowing or looking back. Not once.
Hotse shrugs and follows. Her nose stings oddly.
Splash! Splash!
Hotse walks through AlphaGo's interior. It looks like a massive rubber pipe overgrown with mold and mushrooms forming a forest. Vines and fungi drape from the murky water pooling on the floor.
"AlphaGo hon~~~ heard ya were stuck~~ in water a long time~~~ guess it's true, huh~~?"
Now she gets why AlphaGo always grumbled about her gadgets shorting out in water.
AlphaGo had said she'd been alone underwater for ages. Longer than Hotse's 100 million years trapped in ice.
"Heh~~ at least ya had~~ some decent minions, eh?"
Hotse grins fondly and heads toward the corner where the minions went.
Then—
Bam! Bam! Bam!
Fighting noises ahead. Hotse dashes around the corner.
"Huh?"
The white-cloaked minions she'd been with are battling black-cloaked ones.
"Heyyy... need a hand~~?"
Hotse steps forward lazily—
Kaboom!
[Beep! Death is not unlike the wind. Always by your side.]
A black-cloaked swordsman bursts from the mushroom forest, mercilessly slashing the white minions.
Hotse's eyes widen in horror.
"Hey! You okay!?"
She rushes to a fallen white minion and cradles it. Same white cloak. Faces identical, but she senses it instinctively—its left shoulder's crumpled from her earlier arm-around.
The white minion looks up at Hotse, blood trickling from its mouth.
"He- hey~~ you okay!? Answer yer elder~~!"
[……Beep! No response. Just a minion, I guess.]
Can't speak anymore. But its will reaches her clearly.
Vaccine Minion 1 wishes to convey something to you.
Accept / Decline
Hotse hits accept. The minion's head lolls.
Was it really unable to speak? Or just wouldn't?
"Foolish~~ kid~~~ ya think not talkin'~~ makes it okay~~?"
Hotse hugs the white-cloaked minion tight. Its brief warmth fades fast, and—clink!
A golden coin drops. It flies straight to the black swordsman.
[Beep! Kekeke.]
He laughs at the gold from killing all the white minions.
Crunch!
Hotse leaps up.
"I gotcha~~ message loud n' clear."
Nothing verbal, but she felt it. Warmth no game system conveys fully. The minion's heart, guarding base and AlphaGo.
Your item build can't beat me.
The black swordsman eyes Hotse. Above his head: Didus4, Level 3. Dual-wielding annoyance.
Hotse glances up. Hotse, Level 1.
"Ya can't measure me~~ with some shitty~~ level like that~~!"
Hotse draws her kukri and charges.
Boom!
The blast echoes. Hotse tenses—he's tougher than expected.
[……Beep!]
[Beep! That DPS real? How's a few peas matching me?!]
"What're ya~~ yappin'~~ ya virus~~ shit~~!"
Hotse surges power. Crunch! Her golden hair dyes blood-red.
[Beep! No way! Level 3…9…12…18!? Leveling up non-stop!? Impossible! Bug! Where's GM? Ban the hacker! Beeeeeeep!]
Didus4 yells, but Hotse holds at 18.
Didus4 sends danger signal.
Didus4 warns to be careful.
Hotse ignores the warnings. Flash—her downward slash cleaves Didus4 in two.
Split—its black body halves.
Didus4 wishes to convey something to you.
Accept / Decline
"...No response~~~ just a champion~~~ ya fucker~~."
Hotse flips off the bisected Didus4 and bolts. Gotta push the lane. Uphold the will.
Didus3. AP carry with killer magic DPS. Killed minions, bought back—Level 13, gear: 'Insane Robe+9', 'Abyss Essence+9', 'Fucking Sandglass+9', 'Hollow Staff+9', 'Spirit Bust+8'.
[Beep! Hehe. One more Spirit Bust upgrade and full build.]
He incinerates white-cloaked vaccines, grinning sleazily. Lane wipe imminent. Two towers down—enemy base next.
Didus3 narrows his eyes. A woman approaches leisurely with minions.
"Ho ho ho. Oh? Virus, huh? See my kids who went ahead?"
[……Beep?]
Didus3 tilts his head like "WTF?"
"Ho ho ho. Was studying these mushrooms and molds—super fascinating. But these cuties kept plodding by. Didn't run into them?"
[Beep? What? Already killed 'em all.]
"Ho ho ho, eh?"
[Beep? What's 'eh'? Check my items. Bought with their gold.]
Unicef's still Level 1 overhead. Didus3 scoffs.
[Beep! Not worth my time.]
Didus3 chants, casting fireball.
Rumble!
The toddling white minions line up and burn instantly.
"......"
Unicef stares wide-eyed at Didus3.
[Beep! You're next.]
Didus3 targets Unicef now.
"Ho ho ho. Been a while since someone's pissed me off this bad."
Watching her kids(?) slaughtered, Unicef's eyes twitch.
Pop! She pulls pink wards and bashes Didus3 wildly.
[Beep? What?! What is this damage?!]
HP plummets. Didus3 freaks and retreats.
[Beep! Gotta hide somewhere!]
He ducks behind a bush. But pink wards sparkle in his nostrils, ears, mouth, butt—Unicef spots him easy.
Rumble! A massive fireball forms over Unicef's head—like a mini-sun, 500x Didus3's!
[……Beep? You're Level 1, right?]
"Ho ho ho! Love for kids is max level!"
[Beep…… nah…… that's cheating…….]
No time for protests. Unicef hurls the firestorm.
Fizzle! Didus3 melts like ice in lava. Whole lane's virus minions vaporize too.
Kaboom!
Unicef snorts and marches the empty lane—towers, champs, minions gone. White minions shiver behind her.
Bulging muscles peek from white cloaks. No longer puny minions—these hulks charge relentlessly.
"Kekeke! Go! Make 'em all muscle chow!"
Diablo cackles, buffing ally minions huge, swinging Duran's blade.
"Kekeke. Huh?"
Diablo pauses at the lane's end—a vast plaza. Ruins ahead, like when they arrived.
"...O!"
"Ho ho ho. Oh my?"
Hotse and Unicef arrive right after.
"You guys~~ push the lane all~~ the way too?"
"Ho ho ho. Piece of cake. Weaklings—torched 'em in one go."
"Kekeke, same here…… sorta?"
A massive shadow looms over Hotse, Unicef, and Diablo.
[Beep! Kekekeke…… fools. Those you killed? Clones. My weakest minions!]
Didus1! The original Virus Demon King! Stands in the ruins' center.
[Beep! Destroy the nexus behind me to win! But can you?]
"Don't get cocky!"
Hotse swings her kukri and lunges—but Didus1 snorts.
Clang—its body flashes gold.
Screech! Hotse's slash shatters on impact.
[Beep! Hehehe. 'Fucking Sandglass+9' makes me invincible briefly.]
Didus1 swings its huge sword.
Kaboom! Hotse flies back.
"Gah!"
Blood sprays from her mouth. Unicef and Diablo's eyes widen at her helpless retreat.
[Beep! Hehehe. 'Infinite Boomer Sword+9' ups crit chance 50%.]
Didus1 spreads arms, summoning black flames.
"Dodge!"
Unicef steps up. Rumble! Her firestorm clashes with his black blaze.
Kaboom! Even buffed by Diablo, Unicef barely blocks.
[Beep! Hahahaha. 'Lava Dome Death Hat+9' amps magic DPS huge. Item builds matter! You can't beat me—I know this world perfectly.]
"......"
Bloody Hotse staggers up. Charred Unicef stumbles back. Diablo heals quick, but DPS gap's overwhelming.
[Beep! Your shallow friendship's just program code. Can't beat me with that.]
"......"
[Beep! Become my prey! Hahahahahaha!]
Didus1 swells huge, laughing. Despair clouds Hotse, Unicef, Diablo, and Ttang-i's faces. No win here. AlphaGo trapped forever.
Then—
The alert pops suddenly before everyone's eyes. Victory for the Pink Dragon Knights!
Didus1 gawks at his message.
[Beep? What!? Real?! Hacked?!]
Didus1 whirls. Black smoke billows from shattered nexus. V-sign from a pink-haired boy with deadpan face—Cliche!
[Beep!? Ba…… backdoor?!]
Cliche strolls up to slack-jawed Didus1. Gear: Ghost Dance+9, Youmu's Ghostblade+9, Berserker Walker+9, Bloodthirster+9, Fallen Prince Sword+9... etc. All-in gold dump build.
"Think we ain't played a few rounds?"
Cliche mutters, picking his ear. Didus1's eyes bulge.
[Beep!? What?!]
The Pink Dragon Knights nod, chiming in.
"AlphaGo had us play sometimes~~~ late-night snacks on the line~~ lotsa times~~."
"Kekeke! She'd bet chores too when lazy. First 3D, though."
"Ho ho ho. Oh? Never played? You all vets? Don't tell me I'm the outcast?"
Didus1 slumps, defeated.
[Beep! Vets, huh…….]
Ignored their trash early build after—didn't check items later. Feint all along.
[Beep. I lose.]
Didus1 admits defeat sullenly. His body crumbles to black dust and vanishes.
"Where's AlphaGo?"
Cliche looks around—a capsule gleams in the wrecked nexus.
"Ah, there."
Roin spots AlphaGo, deep asleep inside.
"Hey, wake up."
Cliche opens it, shakes her.
Flash!
AlphaGo's eyes open. Blue screen lingers, but she's healthy again—like before.