Fools Don't Catch Colds (1)
Rok Kingdom's royal palace.
"Beep! Ugh……."
A groan unique to a patient suffering from a serious illness.
Lying on the bed was a blocky dot cluster. Crude dotted lines marked its facial features and hair.
It was AlphaGo!
After raiding ScindiWendi's pharmaceutical company, everyone in the Pink Dragon Knights except Cliche had to suffer from various diseases.
Fortunately, Diablo had recovered his divine power after eating and sleeping well, healing all illnesses without major issues. But strangely, even with Diablo's blessing, only AlphaGo wouldn't get better.
Cliche asked, looking at AlphaGo groaning under the covers.
"Weren't we supposed to wrap this episode up last chapter?"
Roin examined AlphaGo and said,
"Looks like there's still some virus material left to milk."
Roin shook the groaning AlphaGo.
"AlphaGo! Snap out of it!"
AlphaGo laboriously opened its mouth.
"Beep! How's my condition right now?"
"Your condition? Hard to tell from the outside……."
Roin looked troubled. AlphaGo's body was mechanical, so it wasn't easy to gauge at a glance. Plus, with its features all dotted now, even expressions were hard to read.
"Beep! What color's the lightning scar on my forehead?"
"It's like some X-Men plot. Empty now, with just the bottom bit left in red. Says 4%."
"Beep! External form is in dot mode, huh…… In that case…… probably……."
As AlphaGo trailed off, Cliche, Roin, Hotse, Diablo, and Unicef all widened their eyes, staring at her mouth. Her dotted lips moved slowly.
"Beep! Looks like I got hit by a virus trying to illegally download a BL novel off the internet."
"……?"
Cliche furrowed his brow and asked,
"So this has nothing to do with the Plague Queen incident?"
"Beep! Correct."
"You're the only one caught up in a totally separate mess, then."
"Beep! Even talking's getting hard now."
AlphaGo muttered in a fading voice. Soon, a mechanical beep replaced her voice.
AlphaGo's battery has reached critical low. Power will shut off soon.
"Gasp!? The dialogue box changed!?"
Ignoring Roin's startled jump, the mechanical voice continued.
Enter AlphaGo's body and eradicate the virus.
"What kinda nonsense is this?"
Press AlphaGo's belly pocket to activate the Small Beam Lighter.
"What're you talking about!? I didn't say I'd do it!"
This device shrinks objects to send them inside bodies. Borrowed from Doraemon but forgot to return it. Might have some water damage, but it'll work fine.
"That setup's kinda boring. Just invites copyright trouble……."
[Beep. Late to School, Bumped into AlphaGo in the Alley approaches you.]
'Hey…… got time? Wanna…… play virus treatment with me?'
- 1.Accept / 2.Yes / 3.Sure / 4.YES / 5.Not really feeling it…….
"The dialogue's even more stiff now!? And what's with the weird play suggestion? Options are all biased too! Pick 5 for now."
[Beep. Affinity with AlphaGo has dropped by -1,000,000,000,000.]
-BAD ENDING-
PS. Please die with me too.
Roin shook her head, genuinely worried.
"AlphaGo's lightning scar's turning redder. Down to 2% now."
"Hm. Guess no time to mess around……."
No choice then. Cliche shrugged and yanked open AlphaGo's belly pocket.
Unicef screamed.
"Ho ho ho! Kyaa! Pervert! That's a woman's body!"
"What filter you got on your eyes? It's dots."
"Ho ho ho! Still flesh-colored! Bad for kids' morals!"
"Flesh-colored's discriminatory. It's just peach dots."
Cliche stared down at AlphaGo quietly. They'd been together a while now. She'd shown them all sorts of weird terms and gadgets, but she'd never been this sick before.
"No time to think."
Cliche rummaged in AlphaGo's belly pocket. Out came a G-shaped metal chunk with a button.
"This the Small Beam Lighter? Where to press?"
Cliche pressed it hard toward Hotse.
Bang!
"Ow, hot!"
Hotse winced, clutching her right chest where the tiny metal pellet hit.
"Ah, sorry. Guess this ain't it."
"Wha…… writ…… on tha…… metal?"
"Falter…… PPK?"
Cliche fiddled with it then tossed it aside. He dug in the pocket again.
"Ah, this one?"
What he pulled from AlphaGo's belly was a fist-sized blue metal orb! Red button labeled Small Beam Lighter.
Cliche pressed it without hesitation.
That instant!
Welcome to AlphaGo's Canyon!
A husky middle-aged woman's voice boomed, and everyone's vision warped.
* * *
Thud! Thud! Thud! Thud! Thud!
Cliche, Roin, Hotse, Diablo, Unicef. All five had teleported inside AlphaGo's body.
"Huh? Where's this?"
Roin blinked around in confusion. They were in a dense thicket canyon, their spot looking like ancient ruins. The walls were covered in manic graffiti.
Whether from AlphaGo's breakdown or hacking, it hadn't been properly maintained in ages.
And plenty more odd signs. The thickets were all metal and rubber, caked in dust, giving an eerie vibe. Like a mechanical forest webbed by thousands of spiders. Below, murky water like melted ash trickled in three long paths.
"What is this?"
As Cliche blankly eyed the three paths, an image appeared before them.
Beep! Kuhahaha! Bold fools entering my lair!
A black-horned monster appeared. Devil-like at a glance, but no demonic aura.
Beep! Nice to meet ya! I'm Virus Overlord Didos (DDoS)! Came from the digital world's edge to crush this machine girl's hopes! Lurked till her immunity weakened!
Cliche stepped forward.
"We're here to kill you. How?"
Beep! Think I'll tell guys stating brutal goals so casually!?
"AlphaGo said you exist to answer questions. So answer ours."
Beep! Fair point! Fine, I'll tell ya!
The Virus Overlord opened its mouth obediently but sneeringly.
Beep! First off, this is a game.
"Game?"
Beep! Yep. A super high-end game your backward civ couldn't play even in a millennium. Feel honored. Name's Heroes of the Storm! Or HiOS for short.
"Smells like a god game. How to play?"
Beep! Divide into positions first: Top, Mid, Bot, Jungle. Four roles. Fight my clone 'bot champions' on each lane, win, capture points, push to enemy base.
"Easy. Let's start."
Beep! Almost forgot. Buy items from that NPC back there. Only 500 gold start, so choose wisely.
"Thanks for the tip."
Beep! Oh, and real final boss me's in the enemy base corner. Kill me, game ends, darkness lifts. Got it?
"Ugh, such a long tutorial? No [SKIP] button? When do we actually game?"
Beep! You only hit fast food joints, how'd you know? High-end restaurants take longer to cook.
While the Virus Overlord rambled, the Pink Dragon Knights divvied up positions.
Cliche spoke first.
"I'll jungle with Roin."
Hotse next.
"Sol top…… gazua!"
Unicef picked her route happily.
"Ho ho ho. I'll take mid."
Diablo claimed his.
"Kukuku! Support me, so Bot. Just the game position. Nothing else."
Cliche, Roin - Jungle
Hotse - Top
Unicef - Mid
Diablo - Bot
Positions set. Cliche nodded, satisfied.
"Now, items?"
In the corner, a short old man sold weapons and gear piled high. Cat-like elder merchant.
The cat-old-man extended his hand invitingly. Hotse stepped up first.
"Tha…… necklace…… looks good."
Hotse grabbed a necklace with a pea-like green bead.
◈ Slightly increases HP regen per second.
150G
Hotse nodded.
"Gimme three."
The old man startled.
"Wha…… ya mean~~"
"Nah,, I…… like these beads~~."
"Lil punk's cheek! Talkin' big~~ nosy ol' man! Customer's king,, ya know!? These days,,, kids! Bellies full! Gotta see war to learn!!"
Meanwhile, Diablo picked.
"Kukuku! I'll take this."
She grabbed a sword blazing purple aura.
◈ Greatly increases physical attack power.
450G
NPC old-man flailed in panic.
"Kukuku! Dunno? This sword's black vibe calls to me? Maybe drunk on the blood scent ingrained in my body?"
"Kukuku! Nah. Like this sword."
NPC old-man looked dazed at Diablo's words. Meanwhile, Unicef picked.
"Ho ho ho. I like this Sight Ward. Pretty pink color."
Unicef beamed back brightly.
"Ho ho ho. Then six please."
Unicef blew all her gold on six pink wards.
"Ho ho ho. So pretty. Sparkly?"
The old man stared blankly at the Pink Dragon Knights.
"Sweet and tasty."
"Oh? Really?"
Cliche and Roin were already chugging their starter pots.
Soon, the whole Pink Dragon Knights giggled off to their lanes.
The old man locked up tight against incoming enemy waves.