Chapter 1

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Translator: MadScientist

Chapter: 1

Chapter Title: Miracle of a Small Business. Sperm Pay System

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The cell phone I'd had for six years finally kicked the bucket today.

I'd bought it when I started high school, and kept using it even after getting discharged from the military.

I'm the type who uses stuff until it turns into a total rag.

Anyway, I don't have many friends, so I don't get a ton of calls or need it for much. That's why my phone lasts so long.

And just a bit ago, while I was eating at the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠student cafeteria, my ancient relic started shaking like crazy, let out a 'psshht!' with some smoke, and just died.

It's kinda embarrassing.

The other students are staring.

The ones sitting nearby grabbed their trays and moved seats, probably thinking the phone was gonna explode.

"Dude, I told you to upgrade that thing ages ago."

Jinsu said.

Kim Jinsu.

A classmate I've known since we started college.

My one and only friend at school.

This guy's just come back from leave too.

I was worried I'd have to go through the rest of school solo until graduation, so having a lunch buddy is a relief.

"Why swap out a perfectly good phone?"

"You think that's perfectly good? You're nuts. Who uses a phone until it literally dies? Even my grandma doesn't do that."

"I'm broke this month. Maybe I'll just live without one."

My wallet was not looking good.

I came up to this city for college from the countryside, but I only live off the allowance my folks send.

I tried a few part-time job interviews, but got rejected every time.

After that, I rationalized it by saying gigs like that are for popular kids anyway.

"How're you gonna live without a phone? Group projects all happen in chat rooms now, and even attendance is done via mobile student ID."

"Ugh... Jinsu, can you spot me some cash?"

"What the hell, you psycho. Just tell your parents the phone blew up and get 'em to buy you a new one."

"Maybe I should..."

I didn't want to call home.

My family's a blended one from remarriage.

My stepmother is sixteen years younger than Dad.

Just ten years older than me.

Naturally, people didn't look kindly on it.

Rumors flew that she approached him first, marrying for his money.

Dad, a successful businessman, handed over full control of the household finances to her when they tied the knot five years ago.

Now she manages my allowance too.

"How can you live so well and still stress over a single smartphone?"

"That's just how it is, man."

She acts sweet to me in front of Dad, but flips when he's not around.

Our relationship's rocky, but I figure that's normal.

She does cut my allowance short sometimes, though. It's pretty tight.

I studied my ass off to get into a Seoul college just so I wouldn't have to live with her.

I never told Dad about her.

After Mom died in an accident when I was little, he finally found some family stability. Didn't wanna ruin that.

As long as Dad was happy, that was enough for me.

"If you're that desperate, check this out."

"What's this?"

Jinsu showed me his smartphone screen.

"Phone black market?"

"It's a hot spot these days. Went underground for a bit due to crackdowns, but it's back. They sell super cheap—decent ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠used ones too."

"For real?"

"Yeah. It's close by. Wanna hit it up during our free period later?"

"Hmm. Sure, I'll check it out."

I made it to this so-called phone black market during our afternoon free period.

'This the place? It's in the middle of nowhere.'

No sign, rundown building, creepy entrance.

'Map shows it here, so let's go in.'

Stepping inside, it was a total contrast from outside.

Spacious, bright, packed with people.

'Whoa, nailed it. Place is hopping.'

As I walked in, a woman approached with a super friendly smile, all business.

"Hello, sir! Here for a phone?"

"Y-yeah... looking to buy one."

I have this thing with pretty girls.

Put me in front of one, my words tangle up. Browsing clothes? If a clerk comes over, I end up buying whatever they push like a total mark.

'Oh crap.'

Gonna get played again.

She smiled and led me to the display racks.

"What model are you after? Anything specific?"

"Uh... j-just... anything."

She looked late twenties.

Long straight hair, neat suit—polished vibe.

"No particular model or features in mind?"

"Ah... just needs good calls and chat apps."

She grinned and pulled a beat-up box from the corner.

"How about this, sir? New from a small company, super affordable."

"Small company? Like what...?"

Phones are usually S or A brands, right?

A small biz phone? Intriguing.

She opened the box and pulled it out.

'Whoa... it's seriously ugly.'

Like some 2000s Millennium relic design.

'Pretty sure I've seen one before.'

"New Retro Phone from Yuksong Corporation. They call it the 'Retro Phone'."

"Wha... Yuk... Yuksong??"

The surface was this shiny vinyl material—total antique.

Is this even a modern phone?

"Only one design?"

"Yes, sir! Retro's trending again, right?"

Retro my ass.

Who the hell buys this crap?

'That'd be me.'

Took less than five minutes to get sold.

"Great choice, sir! Small companies have killer tech these days—you won't find this spec at this price anywhere!"

'Yeah, won't find a sucker like me either.'

I left the market clutching the box with its retro design.

Outside, I powered it on.

Drriiing!

It made this death-rattle sound and booted up.

Whatever.

Latest smartphone for just 100,000 won? Bargain.

I headed back to school.

"Whoa. No lie, it's goddamn hideous."

Couldn't argue with Jinsu.

"Your taste is consistent as hell. Picking trash like this is a talent. I'd pass even if it was free."

"Shut up. As long as it works, who cares about looks."

"Start by saving my number."

I didn't have many contacts anyway, so manually entering them was easier than syncing.

"First number's some dark-skinned dude."

"What? I'm first? Dude, delete. Start with your parents."

"Piss off. Already did."

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After a few glances, even this clunky design grew on me.

Functions seem solid enough. Satisfied.

Internet's a tad slow, though.

Hold up.

3G?????

"Yo, what does this say to you?"

I showed Jinsu the phone.

"3G. What the...? 3G????"

"Holy shit, what is this?"

"Puhahaha!!! Dude, you got scammed! What even is this? 3G phones still exist? Kyakyakya!"

Jinsu was doubled over laughing.

I wanted to cry.

"Couldn't you look closer before buying? Played the fool again, huh-ing and haw-ing at whatever the clerk pushed?"

"Shut your trap."

"Not even a test-taker anymore—why 3G? C'mon, let's get a refund. Or call 'em. You got a card or something?"

I rummaged through the box.

[XX Phone Shop. Lee Seoyeon. 010-XXXX-XXXX.]

I dialed.

-Hello?

"Hey, the guy who bought a phone earlier. This 'Retro Phone' or whatever."

-Oh! Yes, sir! What brings you back?

"3G in this day and age? You said it was the latest."

-Ah, it's retro style—cheap because we skipped 5G for 3G. You said calls and chats were all you needed.

'Damn, I did say that.'

"Still, 3G is too much..."

-Want a refund, sir?

'Huh? Easier than expected.'

-Our no-questions-asked refund is a week. Why not use it that long and decide?

Sucker strikes again.

I agreed to use it a week then refund.

"What, you joining the 'Small Biz Retro Phone Review Squad'? A week's a week—demand refund now."

"Whatever. Free for a week anyway. Gotta check attendance later. It'll do."

Classes ended, I headed back to my one-room.

'New phone at least—let's check the features.'

Pulled out the manual.

Thought Yuksong meant domestic small biz, but it was crammed with unfamiliar script.

[made in INDIA]

'Right, India's an IT powerhouse.'

Checked the default apps.

'Super Pay?'

Fancy name.

Looked like some smart payment system.

'Guess it has the basics.'

Opened it.

'Lee Jinwoo, 24, student.'

Entered birthday, name, etc.

Yeah, standard stuff.

That's it??? Usually you link accounts or cards.

Sloppy, but whatever—a week and toss it.

I chucked the phone aside and crashed.