Chapter 99
Chapter 99
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 99
Chapter Title: Toothache Epidemic
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“Humans are so frail.”
Penny said with an arrogant expression.
She sat at the table with her arms crossed, looking down at me with a dissatisfied face as she continued.
“Even the slightest shock or a tiny habit breaks them down easily. They’re nothing but pathetically small and weak.”
There was even a hint of anger in her demeanor.
I stared blankly at Penny, then peered into her mouth again.
“It’s hard to see when you’re talking.”
“...It’s not a cavity, is it?”
“Hmm, hold on a sec.”
I very gently poked the tooth she said hurt with a chopstick.
“How’s that?”
“Doesn’t hurt at all.”
“Then it’s probably not a cavity? No cracks either.”
“Phew, phooo.”
She’d gotten worried thinking it might be a cavity, but thankfully it was nothing serious.
She must have been spooked by that fairy tale about Doctor De Soto, the dentist mouse.
Once Penny calmed her nerves, she started grumbling.
“My tooth hurts just from eating something sweet? That’s ridiculous.”
“That’s exactly why it hurts—because it was sweet.”
“Humans are weak.”
Penny spoke with a weighty tone that didn’t match her appearance.
Of course, it lost all intimidation when paired with her teary eyes.
I pressed down firmly on the top of her head and said.
“Nothing you can do if you get a cavity. I’m a liberal arts major, after all.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Cut back on sweets and brush more diligently.”
When I mussed up her hair, she scampered off to the bathroom.
She’d already been anxious, so she was probably going to brush her teeth.
Watching her go made me suddenly think of the gallery.
I’d met Penny after I’d been here long enough to settle in.
If even she was worrying about her teeth, what must the state of the gallery users be like—the ones who’d been using the market for ages?
“No, maybe they’re actually fine?”
I recalled a video saying medieval people’s teeth were surprisingly healthy.
With low sugar intake and a grain-based diet, their dental health was better than expected.
Just in case, I logged into the gallery and searched for “teeth.”
[Search results for ‘teeth’]
- My teeth condition status...jpg
- Teeth ← Sounds kinda lewd somehow
“All sorts of stuff popping up.”
The Isekai Destruction Gallery truly spanned an entire world as a community.
With countless related posts flooding in, I figured I needed to refine my keywords.
[Search results including ‘fuck, teeth, shit’]
- Ah fuck my teeth hurt so bad lololol
- Fuck, my teeth are killing me, wanna die
- Never ever brush your teeth
ㄴ Why?
ㄴ You fucker
ㄴ Something feels missing here
Narrowing the keywords brought up way more posts.
And surprisingly, there were tons of teeth-related ones.
Mostly complaints about pain or questions on care.
“Ah.”
Medieval dental health was fine.
But this world had a market full of modern goods.
Dental problems were hitting right around now.
[Title: lol Got a cavity fuck]
(Barber thumbs-up meme)
Local barber doubles as surgeon and dentist too
Went cuz my tooth hurt like hell and he said he’d fix it
About to get it pulled, will update after lol
[Rec 9] [Dis 0]
- Thanks fuck I got one too
- Line
- Line
- Waiting
I spotted a post from a few hours ago.
Someone promising a cavity treatment update.
Checking their post history, a new one had just gone up minutes ago.
[Title: lol Got a cavity but fuck]
(Barber panic meme)
Local barber doubles as surgeon and dentist too
Went cuz my tooth hurt like hell and he’s like “why you back?”
Fuck just got here to get it pulled, what?
Said I was already here? What bullshit?
Why’s it dark outside?
[Rec 9] [Dis 0]
- Lolololol fuck
- No way, tortured into amnesia?
- Count your teeth idiot
ㄴ OP) Wait fuck why’s one missing?
ㄴ Lololol
ㄴ OP) Stop laughing, how’d you know?
ㄴ Barber’s legit
ㄴ Ugh... fuck I need one pulled too...
“Wow, solid review.”
From what I could see, treatments were all similar.
Just yank it out by force.
Of course, other options existed.
Asking gallery docs who got anesthetic shipments.
[Title: Hello uneducated children]
Author: ExcellentDoc
(Gallery doc flexing muscles meme)
Uses Mr. Judak’s market, many people.
But neglected teeth from misguided children
And blame Judak so hard
Also demand anesthetic
Unbelievable. What for?
Everyone have family discord from tooth impacts?
If bully appears, tell me
(Teeth collection meme)
I am excellent famous dentist
Quickly polish your corn cob
Or pay for anesthetic
[Rec 5121] [Dis 0]
- Ah... ah... ㅠㅠ Got a cavity
- Uh... any other way...
ㄴ Just gather village men to hold your limbs and yank ㅇㅇ
Unless life-threatening, they charged.
To get anesthetic, you paid up...
- Scared but pay for anesthetic?
ㄴ Anesthetic once = 50 tuna cans
ㄴ You pussy?
ㄴ Giving up tuna cans for this lol
ㄴ Safehouse for cowards = 50 tuna cans
Pricey.
Not outrageous, but most said they’d rather buy tuna cans.
So brute force yank became the norm.
Gallery docs who pinned beasts to the ground had monstrous strength—made it the proper way.
Of course, some avoided pulling altogether.
- A.a.a.a.a.a.
ㄴ ? What’s with this guy
ㄴ Ignore, been like this since yesterday
ㄴ Last post was vowing no pull, cavity broke his mind?
Then you learn. Amazing pain.
Cavity prevention became a hot topic in the gallery.
“But no one’s ever listed toothpaste or brushes on the market till now?”
So gallery brushing methods varied wildly.
- Swish mercury in mouth once and spit
- I’m chew-only man, don’t brush lol
- Wipe with tablecloth after meals?
Folk remedies everywhere.
Some popular ones, but still not normal.
[Title: Ultimate brushing method, straight talk]
(Clean cloth and charcoal meme)
First off, I’m filthy rich. Poorfags raise hand.
Richfags prep salt or pepper go go
Rest get ash or charcoal and twigs
(Twig split-end meme)
Soak teeth in cold water first
Put charcoal powder in mouth, scrub with twig
Rub the charcoal in mouth well then spit
Think of it as scraping ㅇㅇ
Last, wipe finish with handkerchief or tablecloth
- Thanks was wondering how
- Charcoal? Got ashes from fire, this it?
ㄴ OP) ㅇㅇ Yeah
- Ugh human level!
ㄴ Lol that’s why teeth rot
ㄴ OP) ?
ㄴ Ground grass powder softer, better clean
ㄴ OP) Oh thanks tip accepted
Great War burned most hygiene records.
And for recent starvers, brushing screamed luxury.
No proper methods for this new obsession.
“Still, better than nothing?”
I knew they used urine for whitening back then.
Thankfully not that far.
- But theoretically urine brushing good
ㄴ Fr close eyes and do it
ㄴ Cavities from demon curse, demons hate urine ㅇㅇ
“Shit.”
Nope, they went there.
- Judak* you bastard
ㄴ ??? Why curse suddenly
ㄴ Judak* Demons hate human piss?
ㄴ ㅇㅇ Church said
ㄴ Judak* Duh. Who likes human piss?
ㄴ !
ㄴ !!!
Folk remedies took over.
I posted a notice.
[Notice: It’s me]
Author: Judak*
(Penny’s pearly whites meme)
(Mass-ordered toothbrushes and toothpaste meme)
Giving these out, brush with ’em ㅇㅇ
*
[Title: Wow lol toothpaste is the shit]
(Tears-up thumbs-up cat meme)
1. Put toothpaste on brush
2. Brush every nook feels great
3. After, swallow whole
[Rec 5123] [Dis 52]
- Ooh thanks for usage already
- Fr tastes good too
- Fills belly and cleans teeth, catches two rabbits right?
ㄴ Judak* No fuck
Listed toothpaste on the market.
With everyone dental-worried, it sold fast.
[2060 Toothpaste 10-pack] - 15p
Cheap too.
“National rule.”
About 1.5 p per unit.
Decent even by isekai standards.
Easier than rare salt/pepper, refreshing too.
- Wow super fresh lololol
- Toothpaste flavors taste review.jpg
[Title: God.jpg]
(Judak face imagine art)
(Judak body imagine art)
(Judak left arm meme) (Judak right arm meme)
(Judak left leg meme) (Judak right leg meme)
Compiled god image from all leaked gallery bits.
Everyone rec and go
[Rec 12] [Dis 1]
- (Gulp chimp knight meme)
- Damn saw Judak again... must worship
- Bullshit lololol
Gallery full of praise.
No hand-dipping or cloth-sucking.
Just squeeze and brush.
- Hmm, minty freshness solid
- Can squeeze straight use is god fr
- Broke teeth on twigs, real brush is god lol
ㄴ ?
- Hm? Hmm? Uhm...
ㄴ What’s this dude doing?
ㄴ Tastes good
ㄴ Why eat it psycho
Post-brush freshness killed in hygiene-obsessed gallery.
But clear flaw.
Brushing prevents, doesn’t cure advanced cavities.
[Title: Lol brushing sucks what good?]
(All teeth gone meme)
Don’t sell crap sucks ㅡㅡ
- Eek fuck gross tag it
- ? How old are you
ㄴ OP) 21
ㄴ ?????
Hope-crushing for decayed or toothless.
- Lol shoulda yanked sooner
- Cut sweets when? Now this?
- Judak lost it all?
Toothless raged, hiding in post floods to bash me.
“No way, blaming me for this?”
But I’m pro cyber-guard spending all day on gallery.
Sniped complaints with replies.
- Judak* Hmm yeah yeah think I messed up too
ㄴ OP) Teeth gone already, sorry fixes all?
ㄴ What shit is this
ㄴ Gtfo gallery
Gallery turned on trolls, but I thought different.
“Was gonna test it anyway, perfect.”
No medieval dentistry here.
Gear/books possible, but I don’t know dentistry.
Perfect solution for me.
- Judak* Can treat again, wanna try?
Medieval dental: mid-tier heal potion.