Chapter 84
Chapter 84
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 84
Chapter Title: Picky Vamp's Blood Craving
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That was the finest drink imaginable.
Like an oasis in the desert, it sent thrilling shivers through his entire body, overwhelming him with pure bliss.
'I thought cola was the best.'
Even cola and coffee paled in comparison.
His grip tightened on the shoulders he was clutching, pinning down whatever was thrashing beneath him.
Lost in ecstasy, his pupils dilated.
"Aah!"
His head snapped back as his eyes flew wide open amid the rush of satisfaction.
"Ah."
His mind cleared.
Blood-starved body replenished with the finest vintage, restoring his reason.
Only then did Erzsebet turn her head to survey her surroundings, realizing what she'd done.
She was straddling a pale man, her fangs buried forcefully in his shoulder.
Erzsebet instinctively knew who he was.
"Judak?"
It was the gallery admin, Judak.
*
I got sucked dry.
No joke, for real.
[Title: Almost Turned into a Mummy, Upvote Lol]
Posted by: Judak*
For now, me first.
‘If I post this, I'll eat hate, right?’
The thought of casually posting crossed his mind.
Of course, hate was unlikely.
They'd probably just tell him to eat something.
Having such weird thoughts meant he was still alive.
‘At least I didn't turn into a vampire.’
Apparently, getting drained here didn't automatically turn you into one.
Drained of blood and trembling, a clear voice whispered in his ear.
"...Sorry."
Turning his gaze, he saw a languid vampire perched on an oversized jade throne that didn't quite fit her frame.
She looked guilty, huddled up small and pitiful.
"It was... I haven't had blood in so long, I must've lost my mind."
She explained in a meek, apologetic tone.
In short, her lurking away and sucking his blood in a frenzy were all due to malnutrition.
"No, why?"
He was naturally curious.
How could a progenitor vampire go without?
"Blood tastes bad..."
Surprisingly normal reason.
"It's bitter and sour... sticky... and unhygienic. You know what's in blood?"
"No, you're a vampire."
"Hmph, prejudice."
Blood-hating picky vamp—Erzsebet, that is—had sought alternatives elsewhere.
Namely, cola and coffee: similar color, vastly superior taste.
Proving it, the fridge I'd sent her was stuffed full of cola and coffee cans.
But even that had limits.
Eventually, malnutrition set in.
"But why mine?"
"Judak's blood is different. I really didn't want to say this, but..."
The picky vamp leaned in, whispering gravely.
"Judak's blood tastes better than cola."
Was that a compliment?
He regretted coming. Around then, he decided to ask something else nagging him.
"But how'd you know where I was?"
The horn from Geonjeonjoshin had never once allowed location tracking.
Not even against massive magical detection from elves or Adrian.
And that horn was still doing its job perfectly.
"I didn't know where you were."
"Then how'd you open the portal?"
"It's like an invitation. I sent it to you, but only you decide to come through."
"What even is that."
"It's a blood magic spell."
Erzsebet pulled out a thick, dusty tome from the corner and flipped to the table of contents.
[Vampire Advanced Blood Magic Grimoire]
It contained all sorts of bizarre spells usable only by vampires.
1. Teleportation Spell (Random)
2. Bat Transformation Spell (Random Bat Species)
3. Mist Form Spell (Random Duration)
4. Blood Pool Transformation (Must hold breath. Beware drowning)
"Wow."
The issue was they all had some flaw.
Among them, he spotted the spell that let Erzsebet find him.
444. Invitation Spell (Creates portal to target's current location. Target cannot cross back)
"Impressive, right?"
Beaming with pride, Erzsebet awaited praise. He replied,
"Now send me back."
No life threat now that she'd drunk, no reason to stay.
Who knew when the picky vamp would snap again.
Anticipating that, he spoke first. Surprisingly, she nodded readily.
"Got it."
"Oh?"
Easier than expected?
Pleased, he looked at her. She stared right back.
Blink, blink.
A solid minute passed with no change.
He slowly rolled his eyes and said,
"The portal?"
"Of course. But..."
Wait, the picky vamp's expression was off.
Her head tilted, focus fading from her eyes.
"Do you really have to go right now?"
"No, hey."
"Stay a bit longer. I've got guest rooms ready. About 312 of them."
"My cozy home's better though?"
"Fine. Then just a hundred years together."
She wasn't right in the head.
Her eyes glazed, skin flushed with excitement—like she couldn't bear to let go of something delicious.
By the time he snapped to, the picky vamp had closed in, gripping his shoulders tight.
‘If she drains me quick this time, I'm really dead.’
Instinctively, he grabbed her shoulders to push away.
Or tried to—her small frame didn't budge an inch.
*Lick*
Instead, she tilted her head and licked the back of his hand, tasting it.
Chills erupted across his skin.
"No, stop, don't!"
"Ehehe... Stay still... I'll suck gently."
Not even hiding it now?
Her ghostly pale skin flushed red.
No escaping now.
But refusing blood wasn't an option either. Only one solution left.
"I'll draw it for you."
"Huh?"
"I won't run, just wait a sec. If you don't trust me, watch from afar."
Him drawing it properly.
Another fang to the shoulder, and she'd drain him to the last drop.
The picky vamp stared up at him thoughtfully, then reluctantly backed off.
"Fine. I'll wait."
Good, she still had some reason. She retreated to her jade throne, slouching sideways.
"But I won't wait long. Hurry."
"Sob."
No choice for him.
Until he found another way, self-phlebotomy it was...
[Shop/Medical Tools]
[Blood Draw Kit] - 33p
Bought a blood draw kit from the market.
Who knew those old internet ghost days watching some foreign doc's self-phlebotomy short would pay off.
"Hiss..."
Hesitating, he heard a gulp from afar.
Looking up, she was half-reclined on the throne, staring intently.
He tied his wrist tight with the rubber tourniquet, inserted the needle as instructed.
Didn't hurt much.
Easier than expected; success.
"Maybe the rabbit warren was better?"
The thought flashed.
But no—either way, mummification awaited, just different flavors.
He brought half the drawn blood to the picky vamp.
"Here."
"Aah, finally!"
First draw, tiny amount, but it sufficed.
She stomped excitedly, taking the tube delicately.
Then lapped it up cat-like, careful not to spill.
"Ah... Perfection. Insanely good."
Satisfied again, eyes squeezed shut in bliss.
"Great. Now the portal?"
"Too good; can't think straight."
"The portal..."
"Want to kidnap you to my castle forever kind of taste."
Gotta go home and catch up on hate posts.
She'd already downed the half he'd given, now gazing up cat-like with sparkling eyes.
"Judak, remember that thing you gave me last time?"
"What thing..."
"The fruit coated in sugar... Tanghulu! Yeah, tanghulu."
Picky vamp was always nuts for sweets over blood.
He'd casually tossed some tanghulu to the crazies last time. Why bring it up now?
Pondering, he pulled out some once-trendy market tanghulu and handed it over.
"But what for?"
Just a sweet craving?
Then she uncapped the remaining half-tube and carefully poured it over the tanghulu.
"Perfect... Vampire ultimate snack!"
Sticky crimson blood topped the tempting tanghulu like glaze.
"Vampire ultimate snack?"
"Blood tanghulu."
He was speechless.
*
Lying in bed, catching up on unseen posts.
Ideal life: food aplenty, cloud-soft bed, no schedules or stress.
"What ya reading? Let's see together."
If not for the kidnapper glued to his side, neck-staring.
Three days gone.
Locked in this ruined castle, unable to return home.
He glanced away from the gallery.
There, silver hair tousled, the picky vamp gazed up at him.
"Can't you send me back now?"
Yes. Captured and imprisoned by the silver-haired red-eyed smiling vampire crazy.
But for a kidnapper, picky vamp was awfully accommodating.
Max comfort, fetched anything asked on the spot.
"Can't do that."
Everything but sending him back.
Hopes of her opening a portal were dim.
He'd have to scout escape routes from this castle himself.
Sadly, with her stuck to him, imprisonment continued.
- Judak Market Up!!!
- (Frog icon sobbing and stabbing sky)
- Market refresh 3 mins late; we're all dying!!!!
Soon enough, gallery buzzed with market restock time.
No helping it; refreshed the market first.
- Kyaa~
- Feels good lololol
- Food category shopping time~
Market opened; gallery denizens flooded in like nothing happened.
Just as peace reigned...
- Wait wtf everyone gone?
- Bug?
- Lord Judak sir, all food items sold out
- (Elf icon tilting head)
Everything sold out instantly upon listing.
"No way, that speed?"
Occasional item sellouts happened, but all food at once? Rare.
- Wasn't it like this last time too?
ㄴ Yeah, all day yesterday
ㄴ Fml, days without even peeking at tuna cans or food
ㄴ Resellers?
ㄴ Resellers cleaned up after Judak's warning, not them ㅇㅇ;
Issue: days of this.
- Hoarding?
- Dwarves doing?
ㄴ ㅇㅇ Matches their posts and memes
ㄴ But why bulk-buy only food and weapons?
ㄴ No way
ㄴ Gasp
Looked like the dwarves were prepping for war.