Chapter 83
Chapter 83
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 83
Chapter Title: Lilian's Horn
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[Lilian's Horn]
A horn containing Lilian's special mana, who preferred hiding over stepping forward like others.
Effect: Makes it impossible to pinpoint the user's location within the cast space.
Geonjeonjoshin is invincible, and I'm a god.
Thanks to the horn that Geonjeonjoshin gave me long ago, I've stayed safe until now.
"As long as I don't mess up, there's no way I'll get caught, right?"
If I was careful about anything that could reveal my location, I'd never be found out.
It was a total cheat item!
Or so I thought.
-Hummm
"Huh?"
If not for the unfamiliar portal that suddenly appeared in one corner of my room.
-Clack
I immediately grabbed the shotgun on its mount and took cover behind the bed.
[Suppression Shield] - 100p
Not satisfied with that, I even grabbed the bulletproof suppression shield to bolster my defenses.
Good thing I'd splurged extra points on the pricier shield just in case.
Even if some decent monster popped out of there, this firepower would turn it into paste.
"What is it? Nothing's coming out."
But after waiting a while, there was no change from the portal at all.
At most, its blood-like deep hue felt ominous?
"Is this a one-way portal too?"
Rifts only allowed entry until the wave hit.
Plus, unlike rifts, this portal didn't give me a headache or smash through the building to appear.
No hostile vibe, so I cautiously approached it.
"Does this scan too?"
Just to be safe, I pulled up the system analysis window, and luckily, info on the portal appeared.
[Teleportation Magic – Caster: Erzebet]
A teleportation magic portal leading to Ruined Castle Mariaka.
Despite its ominous appearance, it's just a normal portal.
Duration – 00:01:59
"Erzebet? That's Padak Soon-to-Die Vamp, right?"
The portal turned out to be Padak's trolling handiwork.
Padak had installed a portal in my house.
What, payback for not paying her salary?
It even had a duration.
The short timer made me feel like I had to go in right now for some reason.
"Why send this to me?"
Ruined Castle Mariaka wasn't that Padak Soon-to-Die Vamp's vampire lair?
Location aside, why send it to me of all people? That was the question.
Judak*: Dude what is this
Judak*: (Ominous portal screenshot)
Judak*: What is it take it back
I posted in the admin chat.
But Soon-to-Die Vamp stayed silent as ever.
Something must have gone down for sure.
Otherwise, a fellow gallery denizen on my level like Padak Soon-to-Die Vamp wouldn't stop trolling.
"Eh, still, going in there feels off."
Even so, jumping in would be overkill.
"If something really bad happened, I'd just get wrecked, right?"
If even Soon-to-Die Vamp, the strongest in my worldview, got taken out, a shotgun wouldn't cut it.
More importantly, clanning is ban-worthy.
Not that I'm scared of the hassle or anything.
"Ju-ki-yat-ho!"
People die when they do things they don't usually do.
A total room-dwelling gallery rat like me suddenly leaping through a portal? Instant game over.
I slipped back under the bed covers to keep refining my canon posts.
Or I tried to.
[Padak 'Soon-to-Die Vamp' has entered indefinite activity suspension.]
[Would you like to replace Padak?]
If not for that blaring notification.
"Hmm..."
Indefinite activity suspension.
The system confirmed my suspicions.
If I did nothing, Soon-to-Die Vamp would stay unresponsive for a good long while.
"Hard to find a Padak like Soon-to-Die Vamp."
20 hours of gallery posting a day.
Troll location tracking and real-life bans.
She was the sturdy suppressor of this email gallery.
Soon-to-Die Vamp was my lifeline and insurance, that Padak.
To fix this—or at least figure out what happened—I realized I'd have to go through that portal myself before it closed.
Duration – 00:00:42
Duration – 00:00:35
Time keeps ticking while you deliberate.
I might really have to replace Padak at this rate.
"Go in, or nah?"
Safety first is my motto, so I agonized over it big time.
-Hummm
Suddenly, the holy sword hanging from the bunker ceiling, emitting its bright light, floated toward me.
"Right, you're here too."
-Hummm
The Adrian holy sword I'd received as tribute from the crown prince back then.
Not just the holy sword—the dwarf-forged bunker vent, er, famed sword, floated over too.
And I always had my trusty shotgun!
"Hmm, with this setup, maybe I can handle it?"
Even if Soon-to-Die Vamp got jumped by some monster, this should let me scrap by.
Worst case, slap on a gas mask, unleash chemical weapons, no holds barred.
Above all, Soon-to-Die Vamp was too good a Padak to lose to succession.
Duration – 00:00:12
"Screw it."
Before the timer fully ran out, I hurled myself into the portal.
The scenery shifted naturally.
Instead of my peaceful room, a blood-red interior and endless corridor of some bloodstone reality filled my view.
In any fight, first strike wins.
I whipped out my shotgun from my bosom and went for intimidation right off the bat.
"Hands up, hands up! Move and I'll shoot, slash, blow you up, gas you, nuke you!!!"
The moment I shouted my tense, half-assed threat missing the code phrase!
"Judak...?"
A woman sprawled on the floor muttered as she saw me.
Pale skin, hazy white hair framing scarlet eyes staring right at me.
"Soon-to-Die Vamp?"
The owner of the ruined castle and trolling Padak.
Erzebet lay half-collapsed on the floor.
*
A woman in a dark, luxurious dress lay sprawled on the floor.
Her bizarre form, barefoot with shoes kicked off and toes twitching, stared at me before weakly murmuring.
"Hungry..."
Her drooping eyes and gloomy expression caught my eye.
No time to think the cold beauty was the same troll Padak.
"Why say that while looking at me?"
That this progenitor vampire Padak was starving right now.
And staring right at me set off alarms in my head.
Coming through the portal was a mistake to begin with.
I needed to be way more careful.
What was the difference from delivering a tasty steak right to her door?
"J-just one sip..."
One sip my ass, it'd be every last drop.
Suddenly, a post flashed through my mind.
[Title: First Admin Clanning Meet...jpg]
Author: Judak*
(Screenshot of Judak raising a wine glass with only bones left)
Ah lol coulda lasted longer rip
[Likes 1321] [Dislikes 9999+]
- FML no not my waifu Judak!!!!
- Clanning is ban reason yy
- ??? What happened
"No, not that!"
I hadn't finished canon post study yet.
Couldn't die here like this.
"Go, holy sword!"
-Hummm
Right on cue, the holy sword to protect me charged at Soon-to-Die Vamp!
"Ugh, go away."
-Bam!
It got swatted away by her flailing hand.
The dwarf famed sword, spooked by the sight, flew to a nearby knight statue and hid pretending to be a sword.
"Oh, right."
These were the ones who slept through the Adrian assassins and failed to protect me.
"Don't come closer."
I aimed my shotgun at the head of Soon-to-Die Vamp crawling weakly toward me.
Before a shotgun, all are equal.
In this crisis where I'd have to ban Padak myself, I hesitated then lowered the gun.
Instead, I opened the market and quickly bought something.
[Blood Sausage Hangover Soup Meal Kit 600g x5] - 15p
Guaranteed peak freshness!
Tastes great!
You can easily make it solo!
Impressive!
"No way she escapes here alone anyway."
The ruined castle was full of all sorts of curses.
Even if I neutralized Soon-to-Die Vamp, I doubted I could escape.
Best play: Normalize her half-mad state, then have her reopen the portal to bail.
No time to skimp on points.
I bought a pot, portable gas burner, ladle, bowls, and all other ingredients too.
"Guh."
Just then, Soon-to-Die Vamp, slinking toward me, passed out from iron deficiency.
Now was my chance!
I whipped up the meal kit on the spot.
Didn't take long.
Rip open the kit, dump it in, add extra ingredients, done.
[Blood Pack (Random Blood Type)] - 50p
[3 purchased, delivery complete!]
Ordered blood packs just in case.
As the cooking finished, she stirred, sniffing the aroma, and lifted her head.
"Ah?"
Before her eyes was a bowl of blood sausage hangover soup.
Starved bad, she stared into the soup forever before reaching out.
*Slurp.*
Bare-handed, even.
The moment she shoved a chunk of blood sausage in her mouth.
"Delicious...!"
Life returned to Soon-to-Die Vamp's unfocused eyes.
She jolted, eyes wide, glaring at the blood sausage.
"How...?"
Blood sausage is blood, but solid jelly form.
Plus, how could homemade blood sausage soup not taste good?
"It's blood, but delicious! Nom."
"Oof."
Too eager to talk, Soon-to-Die Vamp dunked her head straight into the bowl.
She scraped it clean, bowl and all, then licked her lips with a wistful look—until she spotted me hiding.
"Judak?"
Soon-to-Die Vamp blinked repeatedly, alternating glances between the soup and me.
Then she slyly smiled like a fox.
"Looks tasty."
"W-what does?"
Blood packs were right there?
But she ignored them completely.
Instead, she sprang up like a ghost and closed in on me in a flash.
"Stop stop hands up move and I shoot!"
Chills hit me, I aimed the shotgun, but it was useless.
-Slice
"Eek!"
The shotgun got cleaved in half.
As I froze pale, Soon-to-Die Vamp yanked me into a hug!
"This is sexual harassment stop!"
"Bon appétit."
-Chomp
Should've been more cautious.
Too late—I got bit on the shoulder.