Chapter 79
Chapter 79
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 79
Chapter Title: Witches Are Harmful
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Witches are harmful.
Once a prejudice takes root, it doesn't vanish easily.
No matter how much Lord Judak had endorsed it, the bias hadn't been washed away.
"Even if it's from Lord Judak..."
"A witch's potion? Isn't it cursed or something?"
If it was a witch, kill first, ask questions later.
After Lord Judak's intervention, witch trials had vanished overnight.
But that long history of persecution hadn't just disappeared.
On top of that, the anesthetic played a role.
- Bringing someone back after they die?
- Isn't this defying the natural order...?
- Hmm... I dunno.
The gallery was split on the issue.
A body blessed by the heavens loses all control and slumps over like it's dead.
Then it wakes up as if resurrected.
Skeptics emerged, claiming it planted a curse on the soul.
- But rifts appearing makes sense?
- Yeah~ I'm supposed to live with my legs chopped off forever, but now I'm dying with both intact and laughing~
- Please boycott it, I'll buy it all.
- You'd still buy it if it hit the market lol.
ㄴ Updooting lol
ㄴ You guys won't buy and hold out?
ㄴ (This is the peasant overestimation meme)
Alphas or betas? The gallery was divided.
"There wasn't even a concept of recovery here to begin with."
Just a few months ago, people were treating wounds by bathing in milk.
With such a medical revolution, it was natural for attention to focus on it.
All that was left was proof.
Proof that the boy Galum would stand tall, fully intact, and start galling around.
I just had to prove it.
- zlSupremeGroundExplosionMage) Oh fuck
ㄴ ?
ㄴ What?
ㄴ zlSupremeGroundExplosionMage) The kid's not breathing lol;;
ㄴ ????
ㄴ What?
ㄴ (Elf clutching head porcelain meme)
"Uh."
And right as the thought ended, crisis struck.
*
The boy looked like he was about to stop breathing any second.
But he actually did.
- This is crazy
- Wasn't he supposed to come back to life?
- (Ah... Aah... meme)
"Ah, shit, I set the wrong flag."
I'd built it up talking about proof and all, putting the boy on the brink of death.
But no worries.
The Ground Explosion Mage, who'd been panicking hard, calmly placed both hands on the boy as if nothing happened.
That was the moment.
(GIF of starting to breathe again)
Amazingly, he started breathing again.
It was just that the general anesthetic had temporarily suppressed his respiration, making it shallow.
"Of course it'd look like that when he's on the verge of death."
Even a healthy person under general anesthesia could end up looking half-dead.
That's why, when I got the anesthetic, I posted a notice seeking a skilled mage.
Not some attack mage who dumped everything into DPS, but one with all sorts of miscellaneous knowledge.
Like the Ground Explosion Mage from Jusak Magic Tower.
zlSupremeGroundExplosionMage: Doing as instructed, blowing air into his lungs for now.
zlSupremeGroundExplosionMage: Will this really work?
Judak*: Yeah, you're the most important right now.
He was basically a human ventilator.
Once respiration was stabilized, they moved straight to the next step.
They started pouring massive amounts of prepared recovery potions onto the boy's body.
Of course, low-grade potions alone wouldn't do much...
"If treatment fails, maybe we need more potions."
They practically showered him with potions.
And like a miracle, the mangled wounds on his body began to heal.
(Split skin rapidly knitting back together GIF)
(Amputated leg regenerating GIF)
- Feels like watching a miracle
- This is fucking insane for real
- Like watching humanity being created
- Call him over and make him talk
ㄴ Gotta confirm if it's the same kid as before
ㄴ Shut the fuck up lol
ㄴ ? Why the sudden rage
ㄴ I called you to check if you're the same person as me lol
"This is wild even to me."
Like rewinding a video, the split and severed skin started reverting.
He was becoming whole again, like reborn.
A few hours later.
"Uh, ugh...?"
The boy slowly opened his eyes and looked around as if nothing had happened.
- Whoa, legendary
- What the hell did I just witness?
- Damn it, Lord Judak, is this you again? I won't doubt you anymore...
- Screenshot all the doubting Galums lol
"Good thing the mage could handle human respiratory functions."
Without that magic, he might've been goner for sure.
Feeling relieved that it worked, I went to find the Ground Explosion Mage first.
He was the one who'd jumped in to help right away, after all.
"The guy who made my ice statue was him, right?"
Sure, sticking a half-elf beauty statue at the magic tower entrance labeled as me was annoying.
But a good job was a good job.
Judak*: Saved him thanks to you. Solid.
zlSupremeGroundExplosionMage: Oh no, it was all you, Lord Judak haha;
Judak*: So, as thanks, one request granted.
I wanted to reward him.
"Well, the market has everything if you dig."
Excluding witches, no discipline consumed as many materials as magic.
Right after I offered a reward, a reply came from the Ground Explosion Mage.
zlSupremeGroundExplosionMage: Holy shit, for real???
Judak*: Yeah, as long as it's not too much.
"He seemed to be researching golems lately; I could even get stones."
The market even sold stones.
Processed stones of all sizes and shapes overflowed.
So I figured I'd grant pretty much anything reasonable, and asked.
zlSupremeGroundExplosionMage: Then make me Magic Tower Lord!!!
He immediately made an excessive demand.
*
Taking on Judak gave me gallery admin powers.
Maybe that's why? People saw me as some god who created something from nothing.
"I'm just a normie who knows zilch about mana."
Before possession, I was a legendary galcreung spending every moment in front of the computer.
After possession, I became a legendary galcreung spending every moment in bed galling.
"Got backbone?"
Optimistically, dedicated; pessimistically, NEET vibes.
Me, a grand archmage?
Judak*: Wish I could cast fireball or some shit fuck
If I could, I'd blast him and feed him oblivion grass.
Sadly, no such power.
zlSupremeGroundExplosionMage: You're joking too much lol
Judak*: Fuck
Judak*: Not tower lord, request something else.
Like mana stones, or limited-edition appliances you couldn't snag.
But the affinity-maxed Ground Explosion Mage wanted just one thing.
zlSupremeGroundExplosionMage: Then please become my master!
Judak*: Something else
zlSupremeGroundExplosionMage: Then enlighten me to the truths of this world!
"What the hell?"
Judak*: I'm not a mage. No mana to begin with?
zlSupremeGroundExplosionMage: Haha
No getting through to him.
Demanding magical enlightenment? Obviously I couldn't provide it.
How do you give what you don't have?
zlSupremeGroundExplosionMage: Not yet the time, I see.
zlSupremeGroundExplosionMage: Then I'll gratefully accept any item from Lord Judak!
"Even then, tower lord's off the table."
In the end, I'd pick the gift myself.
Problem was figuring out what.
Time flew, and evening market opening approached.
- Market in 1 hour!
- Waiting for market never gets old lol
- New product alert
- Huddling an hour early like Pavlov's dogs for Judak www
"Ah, no new products prepped."
Worse, hadn't restocked market items, let alone new ones.
With different races, people, personalities wanting different things, curating was tough.
- Chili tuna this time, right?
ㄴ Talking shit like veggie tuna; this time it's veggie tuna cans, cool pass ㅇㅇ
ㄴ Veggie tuna my ass, you an elf?
ㄴ (Elf thumbs-up meme)
ㄴ As expected, shit-talk's elf emperor
ㄴ Elf emperor's real ten-year sinner
ㄴ Hate elves? Wanna die? Posting only elf thumbs-up memes makes you an elf?
"Ah, this is annoying."
Even a perfect lineup draws complaints.
And even if market prices were low, not everyone could afford appliances.
- Fuck... stock left but can't buy...
ㄴ Fr, no fridge for me!
- Want so much but fuck;
ㄴ Fr, can't afford...
ㄴ But really, just not starving is something to be grateful for.
ㄴ Fr, human hearts are so fickle
ㄴ Lmao, feeds us and still whining fuck lol
Poverty's relative.
Sure, no starvation, but window-shopping modern goods from the market? Frustrating.
Most opinions scolded the ungratefulness, but I saw it differently.
"That makes sense."
I'd want them too.
But if you try and still can't buy, frustration beats motivation.
Can't give 'em free either.
"Hmm, gotta be that, right?"
I thought of one solution.
A way to boost engagement and excitement.
No intent to rig odds much, but super-profitable scam sales method!
[New feature added to the market!]
[Random Box / Gacha]
"Alright, let's roll."
Random gacha pulls.
*
[Title: Lol fridge pull?]
(Burdened-smiling peasant frog meme)
Caught you coming in to vent jealousy lol
Yeah, couldn't buy mine either~
Never will~
What fridge for our lot? Hoard tuna cans before stock drops lol
[Upvotes 5123] [Downvotes 102]
- Ah lol...
- Where you live?
- Maybe buy one someday?
ㄴ Wake up, Galum Galum...
- Fr, lower prices fuck, lemme buy and try ㅇㅇ?
ㄴ Whoa, this guy's here
ㄴ Ever seen a thief's mindset like this?
ㄴ Judak's greatest feat: Saving the dying
ㄴ Judak's biggest mistake: Saving this guy
Two festivals a day.
Morning market opening.
Evening market opening.
Bait each time: envy and boasts over pricey items.
[Title: Lol bought bulk new shampoo!]
(Elf sitting in tree image meme)
I'm an elf from Eladrin.
[Upvotes 102] [Downvotes 1423]
- As expected, boasting's elf trash
- Elves real shits
- Gonna bite their ears off
- Obviously a spy, how's that elf speech?
No choice but envy and jealousy.
Even thriving, commoners could never afford some things in a lifetime.
But then, a new market feature dropped.
[Ice Essence Fridge Gacha] new!
1 Pull: 10 Coins
10 Consecutive: 90 Coins
- Huh, what's this?
- New fridge gacha ← wtf
- Full-buy angle?
Prominently atop the category.
Naturally, Galums focused in, and one started pulling.
['LifeReversalOneShot' attempts 10-pull!]
- O?
- Whoa, slams 90 coins
- Dying to see what drops
- Gonna endure and follow
Gacha before tens of thousands of viewers.
And true to gacha, disastrous results.
- Dud!
- Dud!
- Tuna Can x1
- Dud!
- Cola 355 x1 Box
.
.
- Lmaoooo total wipe lol
- As long as not me~~~~
- (El Yahoo~ meme)
- Sacrificing self for dopamine...
As everyone laughed.
[Grand Prize Hit!]
['LifeReversalOneShot' acquires Ice Essence Fridge!]
[Remaining Stock: 9]
- What?
- No fuck
- This ain't fair, you bastard!!!
- Admin! Admin! This guy's scamming!!@!
Fanfare blasting in every Galum's ears.
And a fridge—unbuyable even with money—went to the winner.
- LifeReversalOneShot: Fuck yeah!
Woo!!!!!
Yah!!!!!
one two three four five...
six!!!!!
With affinity-maxed LifeReversal's bullshit, the grand gallery gacha board ignited.