The Strongest Dragon Roared (2)
“Holy shit, absolute legend.”
Appointing a dragon as an Assistant Moderator had yielded astounding results. Giving the blue badge to Felici—known on the boards as Yongyongjukgetji—was nothing short of a stroke of divine genius. Points had begun pouring in as if someone had triggered an infinite money duplication glitch.
The dawn hours were the only stretch of the day when moderation inevitably grew slack. Yet even then, Felici remained stationed in the gallery with both eyes wide open.
Orc nudes, goblin orgy illustrations, and even cross-sectional biological dissections of waste slimes—the previous sub-mods had suffered relentless psychological torment from such atrocities. Yet no tactical nuke, however vile, could shake the ironclad mental fortitude of a dragon.
Order had finally been brought to the gallery's lawless graveyard shift. Thanks to her relentless purging, point acquisition had surged by thirty percent.
To sweeten the deal, Felici had been officially granted the penthouse suite of the Jusaek Magic Tower in Kellierton, ceded to her by xXStormMageXx. Having secured a grand residence, she was now fully immersed in gallery browsing day and night without interruption.
Yongyongjukgetji: Hmph. No matter how many I purge, there appears to be no end in sight.
Yongyongjukgetji: I harbor grave concerns that someone among our ranks may be neglecting their solemn duties.
Yongyongjukgetji: Would you not agree, little verdant elf moderator? :)
Full-Health Elf: Hiiieeek?!
On top of that, she was whipping Full-Health Elf into line. Terrified of the dragon's scrutiny, Full-Health Elf had redoubled her own moderating efforts, pushing my overall point income up by forty percent.
Judddak*: Seriously, how are you moderating that fast?
Yongyongjukgetji: That hardly seems like a query fitting for you to pose... We dragons are capable of accelerating our cognition at will.
Yongyongjukgetji: Overseeing the collective prattle of fleeting mortals is child's play.
“Yongyong, you magnificent beast...”
That absurd, broken racial buff allowed her to handle the workload of an entire army by herself.
Yongyongjukgetji: Well? How dost thou find my stewardship?
Judddak*: [Weeping Thumbs-Up Cat Emoticon]
Yongyongjukgetji: Bestowing fitting recompense upon a capable subordinate is, after all, the virtue of a queen. :)
Every now and then, she would ping me in chat demanding a reward, but satisfying her was effortless.
Yongyongjukgetji: As expected, thou dost never fail to meet my expectations. ^^
She was thoroughly delighted whenever I kicked back a microscopic sliver of the points she brought in as Earth tea. Truly, she was the greatest cost-to-performance sub-mod in existence.
“Wait, why am I the queen?”
Since I was the Head Mod, I could understand her viewing her own sub-mod self as my subordinate. But what did she mean by calling me a queen?
Judddak*: Why am I a queen? I'm a guy.
Yongyongjukgetji: Hmmm? Dost thou take me for one who is deaf to the truths of this world?
Yongyongjukgetji: O Great One, Half-Elf Archmage Beautiful Girl?
Yongyongjukgetji: I have already gazed upon thy statue erected in the central plaza. Thou art remarkably fair to behold. :)
“Oh, fucking hell.”
There was a glaring misunderstanding somewhere, but the appointment had nonetheless concluded with absolute success. Moving forward, Felici would faithfully toil as my elite blue slave, raking in points day in and day out.
More importantly, she was deeply favorable toward me, and having secured such an absurdly dependable ally lifted a tremendous weight from my shoulders. Above all else, Felici genuinely took pride in her role. She seemed to view the sub-mod badge as a peerage I had personally conferred upon her—a precious favor granted by a sovereign.
Yongyongjukgetji: Having been invested with the noble station of Assistant Moderator, it falls upon me to render a fitting recompense. Is there aught thy heart desires?
A few days later, Felici suddenly offered to send me a gift.
“A gift?”
I didn't need anything of the sort. My bunker's secondary storage room was already bursting at the seams with junk. I was just about to type a polite decline when a sudden realization struck me.
Hold on.
No matter how airheaded she seemed in text, Felici was an ancient dragon. Casting high-tier spells would be as natural to her as breathing.
“In that case...”
Judddak*: Can you teleport me?
At first, staying here hadn't been intolerable. Even under constant surveillance, house arrest, and sudden abduction, it was leagues better than rotting away in that rabbit beastfolk warren. But as the days dragged on, Godjukheup's obsession had grown palpably darker.
Her crimson eyes grew deeper by the hour, and she demanded my blood with alarming frequency.
If this keeps up, I'm going to get sucked dry before I can blink.
My grand ambition in this life was to browse the Otherworld Destruction Gallery in peace for decades until dying comfortably of old age. I certainly had no intention of expiring as a shriveled, desiccated mummy for a vampire sub-mod. Furthermore, the previously diligent Soon-to-Die Vampire had completely abandoned her moderating duties the moment she dragged me to her lair.
“Yeah, it's definitely time to bail.”
The time to return home had come.
“Found it.”
The first step was identifying my current IP. In the moderator interface, IP addresses carried tangible meaning. Back on Earth, an IP address could reveal general details like the network provider. Of course, modern Earth netizens could mask their true location behind layers of VPNs if they put their minds to it, but...
“That trick doesn't exist here.”
The IPs rendered before my eyes as Head Mod were unfailingly literal. Based on the analysis I had pieced together since transmigrating, the leading digit ‘1’ stood for race. The middle number, ‘20’, seemed to denote the regional grid coordinate of this world's map. And the final digit ‘2’ represented...
“...Actually, no idea.”
I had never quite figured that one out. But knowing the middle coordinate was more than enough. It proved that the floating fortress I was trapped in was the exact same derelict castle Godjukheup had always inhabited, and that the structure hadn't drifted from its established coordinates.
Yongyongjukgetji: Teleportation, thou sayest? Naturally, such an art is within my grasp. Simply name the coordinates.
“Thank God, she can do it.”
That made everything straightforward. I quickly hammered out a reply.
Judddak*: There’s an abandoned castle floating in Kellierton territory. I’m dead center. Yep.
Yongyongjukgetji: And thy desired destination?
Judddak*: Just random spawn me somewhere in Kellierton.
To ensure my bunker's location remained untracked, I set the drop point to an arbitrary spot in the city. All that remained was making my way to the exact geometric center of the castle grounds.
Having spent nearly a month cooped up here, I had memorized its layout thoroughly. With Godjukheup momentarily absent, I slipped out of my chambers and headed down toward the courtyard.
“If it's the dead center, it should be right about here...”
I reached the vicinity of the fountain at the heart of the overgrown garden.
Yongyongjukgetji: Art thou prepared?
Judddak*: Go go.
After double-checking my position multiple times, I fired off the confirmation. Everything was lined up seamlessly.
“Judddak? Why are you standing out there?”
...Right up until I bumped into the vampire progenitor herself.
She had already wrapped up her excursion and returned. Cold sweat broke out across my back as she tilted her head in curiosity.
“Out on another stroll?”
“The garden suits my aesthetic more than I expected.”
“Come back inside. It’s freezing out here.”
“Uh, yeah, that’s going to be a problem.”
If Godjukheup stepped any closer, the teleportation circle would snag her along with me, dumping both of us right into Kellierton. And she was steadily closing the distance with every breath.
My mind blanked out completely, unable to conjure a single convincing excuse. If she realized I was staging an escape right under her nose, what would happen?
She's going to suck every drop of my blood on the spot.
I couldn't put my finger on the exact cause, but her attachment had turned suffocatingly intense over the past few weeks.
“S-Stop!”
I thrust an open palm forward with absolute conviction. Miraculously, bound by the universal law of human nature, Godjukheup froze in her tracks.
“Wh-What is it?”
“Whatever you do, don't you dare move from that spot!”
The ultimate verbal combo: Absolute and Stop. Hit by both at once, Godjukheup blinked wide, startled eyes, immobilized in confusion for a precious heartbeat.
Vwoooom—!
“Ah...! Judddak, you—!”
A blinding circle of brilliant light flared around me, washing my vision in radiant gold. Realizing instantly what was happening, the vampire lunged forward with bared fangs, but—
“Gah!”
I vanished before she could touch me.
When I opened my eyes again, the stone arches of a dimly lit back alley in Kellierton greeted me.
“It worked!”
Derelict Castle Great Escape: Attempt Number Twelve. Finally, my triumphant return home had been achieved.
As I glanced down, I spotted something resting on the cobblestones beside my feet—the Masterpiece Sword had materialized alongside me!
“You made it out too, buddy!”
Evidently, the sentient blade had read the room, jumping into the magic circle right before the warp fired. Overjoyed, I scooped up the weapon, admiring its polished steel—until a chilling realization dawned on me.
“Wait... where the hell is the Holy Sword?”
“I brought Melona ice cream!”
Of course, I hadn't brought anything of the sort. Striding down the familiar corridors, I unlatched the heavy subterranean blast door, revealing the luxurious, high-tech interior of my private bunker. Inhaling the crisp, climate-controlled air of my true home, I let out a contented groan of absolute bliss.
“There really is no place like home...”
As for the Holy Sword... well, it was practically indestructible. It would survive just fine in that moldy old castle. Shrugging off my lingering guilt, I strolled into the living quarters, only to notice an unmistakable lump wriggling beneath the covers of the bed.
“What’s this?”
I peeled back the heavy duvet. Penny was curled up tightly inside, fast asleep. Without hesitation, I grabbed her by the shoulders and vigorously tousled her messy hair.
“Gah! Mmph, who is it—M-Malphite?!”
“You have no idea what I’ve been through. I'm exhausted, seriously.”
“You’re back!”
Despite her hair standing on end in every direction, Penny sprang upright with an ecstatic beam. It seemed she had fared perfectly fine on her own in the bunker. In fact, she looked even healthier than when I left. Having methodically devoured all the modern treats and packaged foods I had beamed to her pantry, her cheeks possessed a distinctly rosy glow.
“Here, take this.”
I might not have had a Melona bar, but I had cake. As a token of gratitude for looking after the house, I handed the dessert over to my strawberry-obsessed demon roommate.
“Yahoo!”
Being back home was the height of satisfaction. Yet before I could collapse onto my mattress, there was still business to attend to. The furious, betrayed expression Godjukheup had worn right before the warp went off still flickered vividly behind my eyelids.
I booted up the forum interface to check for any incoming notifications.
“Huh. Surprisingly quiet?”
There was no direct chat message from the vampire progenitor. No furious new threads, no emergency board announcements. All that met my eyes was a brief exchange in the moderator log.
Vampire Till I Die: Lizard. It was you, wasn’t it?
Yongyongjukgetji: [Dragon Shrugging Wings 'Do I Look Like I Care?' Emoticon]
That short, barbed snippet between the two was the entirety of the drama.
“Hmm. Probably nothing to worry about, right?”
It was a little ominous, but since they hadn't escalated the brawl into a wall of flame text, I decided to let it slide. With a yawn, I prepared to take a running swan dive straight into the soft embrace of my bed.
KABOOOOOM—!
“What the—?!”
A cataclysmic shockwave tore through the bedrock, violently rattling the reinforced steel walls of the bunker.