Chapter 50
Chapter 50
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 50
Chapter Title: Shampoo Frenzy and Elf Apology
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After the shampoo barter sales kicked off, purchase requests came flooding in.
[Proof I'm Human..jpg]
[Dizzy here, check quick please]
[Shampoo! Shampoo! Shampoo! Shampoo! Shampoo!]
Dozens of verification posts started pouring into the barter section every second.
The part-timers were stepping up to review them too, but their numbers were ridiculously low.
"Should I hire more part-timers?"
Purchases were limited to one bottle per person.
Someone could stock up in bulk and try reselling in Elrad, after all.
The result? It was slow, but reliable.
[Barter Chatroom]
('Naturalist' has entered.)
Judak*: Send proof pic
Naturalist: Hold on
Naturalist: (Meme of face zoomed in close with long hair draped way forward)
Naturalist: Now sell me some shampoo pls ^^
Snow-white skin filled the meme.
Suspicious already, but at least the long hair was black.
"Tsk... ambiguous."
Elf spies pretending to be human usually got filtered out first by their unique hair colors.
Tricky cases like this gallery user popped up sometimes, but there was another reliable method for those.
Judak*: Hmm, looks real enough...
Naturalist: ^^
Judak*: Say "World Tree bastard"
Naturalist: ?
Judak*: Say it. Can't? 3...2...
Naturalist: Wor...
Judak*: Wor?
Naturalist: World Tree's the biggest idiot moron Judak! Go use all that shampoo yourself you fool retard!!! Waaahㅠㅠㅠㅠ
('Naturalist' has left the chatroom)
Judak*: Cut lol
And just like that, this highly effective second filter caught most of the elves.
Some elves even tried bribing, factoring in that part-timers handled reviews.
('Genius Elf' offers World Tree branch!)
VampireToDeath: ?
Genius Elf: ㅎㅎ Take this and pretty please just one bottle?
VampireToDeath: (Meme flashing fangs)
Genius Elf: Eeeek elfbait!
Of course, it didn't work.
The elves' purchase attempts kept failing, and every time, more user reviews popped up in the gallery.
[Title: Is this... me?]
(Before/after shampoo bath comparison meme)
- Side-by-side like this, the difference is insane
- Went from beast to human ㅇㅇ
- This ain't just a glow-up, it's a full transformation?
[Title: For real, Judak, I admit it this time ㅇㅇ]
(Shiny hair meme)
My hair was a lifelong broom, but a few shampoo uses and I'm a new man
Judak, I don't admit stuff easy but you get a pass ㅇㅇ;
- Lmao what is this guy casually admitting to Judak?
- Who even are you?
- The sheer confidence is hilarious lol
- Judak*) ㅇㅇ; thx thx;
ㄴ Lololol
ㄴ Half-enlightened vibe now
Naturally, no elves among them.
Elves stopped posting for a while, whether out of resignation or whatever.
"This quiet is creepier instead."
Second-largest demographic after humans suddenly goes radio silent?
Suspicious.
Right as I started watching cautiously for some scheme, a new post went up.
[Title: Statement from the Elves]
Author: Armion
(Sulky elf kitten con)
(Crying elf biting clothes con)
We elves see this incident as us starting shit with our overexcitement.
It's not the first time, but the elves who wrote those posts are reflecting hard now.
Apologies on behalf of the elves.
Judak, won't you sell shampoo to us elves too?
(Elves doing dogeza meme)
(Crying while getting scolded by Armion meme)
"No way, an actual normal apology."
I'd been on edge expecting their "statement."
What kind of race are elves anyway?
Honestly, a duel challenge wouldn't have shocked me, but this was unexpected.
"Come to think of it, the elf queen's never trolled before?"
In this mess, all she's done is apologize for the elves.
Kinda like parents apologizing for their spoiled brat. Imagination?
- Elves troll, queen steps in
ㄴ Fr, old tradition...
ㄴ Ugh elves pls!
- Elf queen, what a position...
- Elf rep? Brutal
- With that troll village elder council, total hell job lol
Public opinion even pitied the elf queen.
But the apology didn't end there.
Armion attached a floral crown at the very end.
(Moonflower crown meme)
A small gift as a token of our apology.
Hope you'll accept it.
- Whoa they're giving that?
- Damn Judak lucky af lol
- Befriended dwarves last time, now this?
- Real elves? Giving that away?
Comments exploded in reaction.
"What even is this."
To me, it was just baffling.
*
The shampoo refusal.
The elders' council had major sway in that decision.
The elf elders particularly disliked Judak, mostly over World Tree and fairy incidents.
"Eeeeng... Aren't young elves running wild killing fairies lately?"
"Pests this, pests that—insisting we rename them from fairies to pests."
"Elves shouldn't act like that... tsk tsk tsk..."
After that pesticide fiasco, young elves started going berserk.
The problem? It actually normalized the World Tree in a good way.
If it had worsened, they could've yelled "See?!"—but nope.
Worse, it boosted Elf Queen Armion's position.
"Now she barely glances our way..."
"Barely baptized and she's spouting off, pushing policies eeeing..."
"No respect for elders!"
Armion was the poster child for the full-life elf faction.
Queen of the young, capable elves.
The elder council was losing ground fast, and they hated it.
After debating, they all stared at one elf.
"So, what'll it be, Lady Mersenne?"
"Hmm..."
Mersenne, active as the gallery's elder-elf rep.
True to her heavy influence, everyone awaited her call.
Fiddling with her long black hair as she listened, she narrowed her eyes in thought.
'Feels off somehow from last time.'
During the pesticide incident, she'd gone to supervise the World Tree and blacked out.
Somehow felt force-fed Mentos Cola and memory-wiped... that nagging feeling.
Body screamed retreat instinctively, but stubborn mind urged push forward.
"Announce our refusal of the shampoo for now."
"Wise choice!"
"Right. Cleanliness? Souls unclean!"
Under Mersenne's decision, the council announced their refusal in the gallery.
Judak*: ㅇㅇ Sell to all except elves
"Huh...?"
An elf-only shampoo sales ban dropped.
Exactly one hour later.
"L-Lady Mersenne!"
"What is it?"
"Elves are gathering outside protesting right now!"
"Eeng."
Rebellion erupted in elf society.
Mersenne peeked out the window, sweating bullets—young elves picketing for real.
"Elders, wake TF up!"
"Yeah!"
"Force-feed 'em Mentos and Cola!"
"Hieeek."
Slam.
Shutting the window, Mersenne snuck out the back door sweating.
Destination: Armion's office.
Meanwhile, the gallery quietly burned.
[Title: Kill all daughter elves!]
(Fierce-eyed elf con)
Nothing gets done cuz of you daughter elves!
I wanna try shampoo too!
- Y-You insolent elf!
- Youngsters don't respect elders?
ㄴ Poster) Dunno respect but I can attack^^
ㄴ Unbaptized brat!
ㄴ Whatever, die! Eat some red ginseng candy!
ㄴ What'd you say?!
Full-life elves and daughter elves started biting each other.
Full-lifers had brutal firepower.
Gallery-addicted, meat-loving, high-strength full-lifers typed leagues faster.
- As an elder I've lived since before you were born...
ㄴ So what? Slow chat, no skills, just endless scolding
- And upheld traditions...
ㄴ Traditions pay bills? Times changed? World ending and you're on fairies blah blah~ alcohol ban blah~
ㄴ Let's... talk... @!!
"No."
At this rate, Mersenne's position was toast too.
She soon met Armion, who waited with a beaming smile.
"You're here."
"...Knew I'd come?"
"Of course. Outside's chaos. Here to discuss solutions?"
Mersenne nodded weakly.
Even official statements needed elder rep and queen approval.
"Came for permission on an official statement..."
"Yes, what's it say?"
"Wrote it here."
Armion eyed the statement with a smile.
Her face slowly soured.
"This is a duel arena, not an apology!"
"Not full duel... just if opinions clash, settle with fists..."
Mersenne trailed off, eyeing icy Armion and nearby Eliana.
Lips sealed, Armion sighed lightly.
"Even if we issue an apology like this, Judak won't accept."
"Wha?! Then..."
"Elves won't hold back—rebellion wipes kingdom, elders... all gone! Snip!"
Mersenne paled as Armion mimed throat-slitting.
"Th-Then what should we do?"
"Bigger, sincerer apology."
"Huh?"
"Needs something huge. Like this."
Armion handed over a classic dogeza meme.
Absurd, thought Mersenne—but soon envisioned exile from Elrad by raging elves.
'Not pure fantasy— that crown prince Frederick too...'
Gritting teeth, Mersenne relented.
"I'll snap a good pic, go on."
"Uuu..."
Armion smirked wickedly as Mersenne dogeza'd.
First step to queen's authority topping elders.
*
"Alright, hygiene issue sorta solved..."
Post-elf apology.
I scrolled the gallery from bed.
Shifted gallery users' hygiene mindset, but core problem lingered.
- Fml sludge beast again
- Ugh; don't wanna hunt this time;
- Gross af. Just bathed;
Individuals clean, streets still sludge hell.
Needed fundamental fix.
Staring at ceiling blankly, an idea hit.
"Guess I'll start with sewers."
Sewers to collect sludge—at least no shit on streets.
But where to send the collected sludge?
- Fml sludge slime spawn
- Ugh;
- Gg carrier service over
Perfect timing—a new beast appeared.
The infamous sludge slime from before, devouring everything in reach.
I eyed its grotesque form and grinned.
"This is it."