Chapter 49
Chapter 49
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 49
Chapter Title: Elves Hate Bathing
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Elves hate washing.
Actually, it was more accurate to say they were just used to it.
- Washing my body would dirty my soul!
- Honestly, it's a hassle.
- It's cold and I catch colds a lot...
The previous generations of elves who lived alongside the World Tree, calling harmful pests "fairies."
They were taught that not washing was the way to keep a clean soul.
They even questioned the act of washing their bodies while communing with the World Tree.
Above all, they had the advantage that even without washing, the discomfort was less compared to other races.
[Title: Why Do You Wash Your Hair?]
(Oily-free hair texture image)
It's clean without washing lololol
No way there's a race whose hair gets tangled or greasy, right?
- Kanfs at it again
- Ugh, you guys are so great
- Do elves die if they don't brag about themselves?
ㄴ For real, seems like an incurable disease
As expected from a race with outstanding looks, they maintained a certain level or higher even without care.
I thought they were spouting nonsense about clean souls again and it was church stuff, but this was unexpected.
- Don't wash! It'll hurt your soul
ㄴ Church zealot) Uh, this is a bit...
ㄴ lololol Even church skips with kanfs
ㄴ This isn't easy, you know
Who would've thought the elves, poster children for cleanliness.
- Anyway, we're not washing
ㄴ Yeah, even Lord Judak can't do anything about this
ㄴ Respect us!
Of course, not all elves were like that.
Especially the self-proclaimed pure elves were somewhat reasonable, but their numbers were few.
The majority stubbornly insisted on not washing.
In this chaotic situation, I came to one conclusion.
Judak* ㅇㅇ; Do whatever you want, folks
ㄴ Huh?
ㄴ Wuuung
ㄴ Lord Judak?
"Alppaim?"
I just stopped paying attention.
*
Occasionally, even when gallers acted rebelliously, I'd gritted my teeth and helped.
A prime example was stopping a galler from milk-bathing their wounds.
But this time was different.
"It's not a life-or-death issue anyway."
Not washing just suffocates them, not me.
I had no intention of forcing them to wash, so I turned off my attention to the elves.
And the gallery was busy with the new bathing culture regardless.
- Why did it take so long to learn this?
- Hate) First bath experience...jpg
- Uwaaaak fuck, was this my body?
- Who knew I'd be bathing in such clean water?
- Love you, Jobal punk
If you lived without knowing cleanliness, you'd be fine.
But once you know, there's no end to it.
- Ah; my scalp itches like hell
- What's my hair, a broom? Fml?
- So many lice in my hair, how did I survive until now?
People who realized the refreshment and crispness of bathing dove deeper.
Itches they'd shrugged off before became unbearable.
Especially the worst were dandruff and lice.
And humans weren't elves, so scalp oil was naturally another worry.
[Title: Uahaha Fuck Die All]
(Boiling bathwater image)
(Grabbing the supports with both arms and dunking head in image)
Head lice? Dandruff? Fuck off
How do you even live like that lololol
- lolololol insane just
- This guy's for real lololol
- Fr wanna kill all these lice bastards
ㄴ Hard to even pronounce fuck shitty
And as posts of people going mad one by one started appearing!
"Now's the time!"
I realized the moment had come and pulled out items I'd bought from the shop in advance.
But no plan to dump them on the market right away.
First, I needed ad models to be great promoters.
[Admin Chat]
Judak*: Assemble
PureElf: Assemble!
SoonToDieVamp: What's up?
Judak*: (Cool Shampoo image)
Judak*: Try it
SoonToDieVamp: What's this?
PureElf: What's this?
First, I sprayed shampoo on the padaks.
[You've invited 'Tuna Can Queen.']
Judak*: lolololol Nickname lololol
Tuna Can Queen: ???
Tuna Can Queen: Whose fault is this!
Judak*: lolololol
Tuna Can Queen: ... I wanna leave.
(Judak suggests Cool Shampoo!)
Tuna Can Queen: ??
Judak*: Use it and give a review ㅇㅇ
Second, to the fallen lady I felt a bit sorry for, no, Tuna Can Queen.
"Now, let's wait for the results."
I was lying on the bed anyway, but shifted to a more comfortable position and smiled.
*
"Uwaaa."
In some office in the Elradrien Kingdom.
"Ahhh."
With an incomprehensible trembling voice, one person—no, elf—was lost in bliss.
Eyes half-lidded and body limp was the elf knight captain and padak, Eliana.
"This cool feeling on my scalp... insane..."
Snug in the foldable round tub, washing her hair with shampoo.
It felt like the paradise elves talked about was right here.
No, how could such an item exist?
"This is like..."
Something you'd only come up with after centuries pondering how to live happier after surviving.
It was already her second bath.
Eliana, with shampoo bubbles on her head, dunked right into the tub.
Then dressed, and to finish, a bottle of soju.
"Kya! As expected, soju to wrap it up!"
Today, slacking off was allowed!
That rare holiday had come to Eliana too.
"Love you, Judak!"
She stepped out to the streets in silk casual clothes with light steps.
"Wine, I want wine..."
"Wanna go home..."
And the slaves to work and duties that caught her eye.
Taking in those elves, Eliana felt a happiness close to ecstasy again.
"Hm, Captain?"
"Melang?"
Among the zombie-like elves, the deputy captain with hazy eyes and striking silver hair approached.
Of course, Melang was on holiday too.
"What is it, you seem... different somehow?"
"Huh?"
"How to say... shinier or something..."
Melang soon found the cause.
That uniquely glossy hair swaying.
Even stroking it out of curiosity, silky smooth without a hitch.
"Wh-what is this?"
Melang dropped the cola in her hand and froze.
Actually, other elves nearby felt the same.
Few elves had dry hair, but ones this exceptional were rare.
Naturally, passing elves couldn't help but peek curiously.
'Did she get something good somewhere?'
'A new gift from the World Tree?'
But the elves' expectations turned to despair in an instant.
"Oh, this? Traded with Judak."
"Yes?!"
"Oh, uh, coincidentally. Yeah, pure coincidence in the trade!"
She almost got caught as a padak using "eyo" speech from excitement.
But elves didn't care about that.
"It was a Judak item?"
"Ah..."
Of all things, a Judak item.
One they themselves had insisted they didn't need first.
*
Judak*: How was it, any effect?
Tuna Can Queen: (Amazed nobles image)
Tuna Can Queen: (Bribing with tuna cans image)
Tuna Can Queen: Don't ask. So many people asked me about it.
Judak*: Sounds annoying af
Tuna Can Queen: More than that, perfect product. Thanks for the gift ㅇvㅇb
The effect was perfect, needless to say.
Evelyn said it was so many inquiries it was annoying, so popularity was obvious.
SoonToDieVamp: Why didn't anyone ask me?
Judak*: You're alone lol
SoonToDieVamp: Still
Judak*: How was it?
SoonToDieVamp: Super satisfied. The best.
(Peeking left hand thumbs up image)
(Surprised Nyango right hand palm out image)
SoonToDieVamp was the same.
Didn't care much, but got approval from her left and right hands.
Feels touching.
Finally, PureElf... skipped.
Just as I thought to pass, a chat came.
PureElf: For now, I'm a 'young' elf who loves washing and bathing.
PureElf: Shampoo was super satisfying, surrounding elves all asked about it.
Judak*: No one asked yet?
PureElf: Just felt weird, that's all.
Even the sharp elf padak.
If even the elf society that hated washing was like this, no need to say more.
In fact, the gallery was burning with shampoo hype.
- So what is this shampoo, Judak?
- Minimum 1k galdan expected ㅇㅇ
ㄴ No conscience, at least 5k
ㄴ No artificial perfume smell, natural, and scalp refreshed?
ㄴ Fr says it all
ㄴ Not done yet fuck. You know how much perfume I use monthly to cover smell?
ㄴ ???
Above all, nobles were famous for dousing strong perfume to mask head smells.
But Evelyn showed it herself.
Great texture, refreshed, and fragrance way more natural than perfume.
- Take my money Judak!!!
- Sell it, I'll buy any amount, please!!!
Explosive reactions as expected.
"This should be good to list on the market now."
Just as I proved popularity and was about to register.
- If selling, market's right imo
Real everyone should buy fairly, right?
ㄴ ...Hm
ㄴ This guy's speech weird
ㄴ Check gal log
ㄴ lololol Elf pretending human caught?
ㄴ Go back to forest and guard your souls lol
I canceled the registration right before.
"Something fishy?"
If listed like this, everyone could buy.
Even the elves who threw tantrums without asking that they wouldn't wash.
Talk big in front, then sneak buy later?
I stopped the upload and wrote a new notice.
[Notice: It's me lol]
Author: Judak*
Lots of requests to sell shampoo
Prepared stock too
(Cool Shampoo and a few other shampoos)
But selling like this, elves can buy too?
What if [by mistake] hygiene-hating elves [purchase] shampoo?
So changing sales method
(Barter board image)
Post ear-visible selfies on the board
Prove not elf, I'll sell lol
[Recommend 9999+] [Disrecommend 1425]
- Kya lololol This is it
- Cut the nonsense elves! lolololol
- Feels good lololol
- This gu gu dun~
- (Twisted elf face con)
- lol Our elves don't need that?
ㄴ Don't cry, speak lololol
ㄴ Yeah~ Never wash your hair lololol
ㄴ We'll enjoy it alone lololol
ㄴ You? Talented. Stay guarding stock and live dirty alone
ㄴ reallydirtyandpatheticandwontuseithumansarewrongtoomuchtalkbadaboutuselpingalleryelfspywhatspyiwannausehairshinyandrefreshedbutlordjudakihateyousomuchhate
ㄴ lololololololol
I decided to sell shampoo excluding elves.