Chapter 26

At that moment, I flinched without realizing it.

Knowing I was going to get scolded made entering even scarier. Especially since he said 'Come in' in that utterly calm voice—it's even more chilling.

That doesn't mean I wanted to run away, though.

My personality has always been the type to do what needs to be done. Besides, as they say, only the one who's been beaten knows what it's like.

It wasn't like I'd only been through this once or twice.

'Since I'm going to get hit anyway, might as well get it over with quickly.'

I hated living my life sneaking around and trying to cleverly avoid things while constantly checking the other person's mood. I'd rather just get beaten cleanly and be proud.

As I entered the manager's office, Ahn Gi-pyo—looking even more menacing today than usual—was standing by the window with his back turned.

"......."

Even though I knew he was half-deliberately creating that atmosphere, I'm only human, so I couldn't help being half-overwhelmed by it.

After all, it's only natural for someone who did wrong to shrink in front of the person scolding them.

'If I told him about Miho, given Ahn Gi-pyo's personality, there's a high chance he'd let it slide.'

I know that too.

At home, I have a child who's just about to start elementary school, and that child was burning with fever for three days and nights, sick as if she were about to die.

I absolutely couldn't come to work at the host bar because I was taking care of her.

......If I explained it like that, he'd get angry asking why I didn't say so earlier, but in the end, Ahn Gi-pyo was the kind of person who would ask if the child was okay.

That's the kind of person he is.

He works incredibly hard as the manager of the host bar, but he doesn't ignore or force exploitation on the hosts working here.

That's why Ahn Gi-pyo is, in a way, the manager of this store, and the one who holds the hosts firmly in his grasp.

No matter what anyone says, he is a superior whom even I have no choice but to acknowledge—someone who takes pride in his job and respects the hosts.

But because I'm a host, I couldn't tell him that reason.

Because if it's discovered that I have a child, I can no longer continue working as a host.

Of course, there definitely are women with peculiar tastes.

There are also women who get a bit of a thrill and pleasure from paying to sleep with a host who already has a child, feeling a sense of depravity.

But that's a minority, and among that minority, a woman rich enough to single-handedly carry a host's life is an even smaller minority.

You can understand it just by switching perspectives.

Honestly, men also prefer young, pretty unmarried women; they don't want to sleep with an unexpected married woman or a woman who already has children.

Especially in this day and age, there's no benefit to getting caught up in unnecessary gossip or troublesome matters.

"Judging by your expression, it seems you won't tell me why you didn't come even if you die."

"Yes......."

Before I knew it, I met Ahn Gi-pyo's eyes as he silently stared at me, and my legs felt numb.

At the same time, I thought, 'So that's the presence that experience brings.'

If it were me, I wouldn't be able to create such a pressured atmosphere just by silently staring like that.

"Hey, Kim Hyun-woo."

"Yes......."

"Do you think being a host is a joke? Or do you think I'm a joke? Or maybe both?"

"......No, sir."

"As a man, does it feel shameful or pathetic to flatter women, pour their drinks, and even sell your body?"

"......."

I might have answered confidently before that I've never thought that way.

But now, I'm not sure.

'I decided to become a good parent, but is it okay for me to keep working as a host?'

Even in this situation, that thought suddenly came to mind.

Even if it's late now, maybe I should start studying, or get some kind of technical certification and have a job I can proudly declare anywhere.

Wouldn't that be better for Miho too.......

But if I did that, not only would I not have enough for living expenses, but I also wouldn't be able to provide the income that satisfies me personally, let alone do everything I want for Miho.

Other parents all have the same worries and will take care of their children even by scrimping and saving somehow.

Maybe I'm still not fully grown up.

I thought it might be better to work as a host and save money intensely in the short term.

Either way, if I get frequent reservations from clients like Seonwoo Ye-rang, the income from this job would be beyond imagination.

And if I sell all the luxury goods I receive as gifts at a decent price.......

"Hey, Kim Hyun-woo!"

「Hwiik, jjaenggeurang!」

A glass ashtray flew right past my face and smashed against the door with a crash.

At the same time, I heard the sound of someone scurrying away from somewhere—hudadak.

"If you're going to act like that, quit this job right now! Did someone hold a knife to your throat and force you to be a host? You came back yourself saying you wanted to return! If you're going to do whatever you want just because you have a good face and some popularity, then go open your own host bar!"

"I'm sorry."

My head bowed naturally.

I couldn't even bring myself to make a playful excuse right now.

"Hey, you."

"......."

"I'm talking about you, Kim Hyun-woo."

Ahn Gi-pyo, who had already come up close to me, spoke with a more serious expression than ever. It wasn't just to let off steam; it was the expression of an adult, a senior, and a manager—our boss—speaking.

"If you're going to do it, do it properly."

"......."

"Stop acting like a child forever. If you're going to do it, do it right. In this industry, there are plenty of guys who can't get reservations even though they want them, so they just stand around blankly in the hall and would rather be cleaning."

"......."

"Seeing a guy who got lucky—getting a big shot's reservation the very day he returned—and who has decent skills, just doing whatever he wants, how do you think those guys feel?"

"......."

"Do you know how many people are part of this store's family?"

I couldn't properly answer any of those questions.

Come to think of it, even when I was working here at my peak, I didn't even know the names of the guys working in this store.

I thought of them as just insignificant hosts beneath me... who just stood around idly without making much money or having any skill.

I used to look at those guys with that kind of mindset.

Even though I was a host myself....

"There might be guys with nasty personalities who are real trash. On the other hand, there are plenty who are sincere about this path and desperate."

"......."

"There are guys who, even when being a host is called a vulgar and dirty job, still choke back tears."

"I'm sorry, sir......"

"Being a host doesn't make us slaves. We're not completely brainless idiots either. We're people too, and even a shitty place like this is a job to those guys."

"......."

"This is the last time. I'm forgiving you one last time. If you take a day off without reason again like this time, no matter how well you're doing or how much money you bring in, I'll kick you out of here."

"Understood."

"Get out. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Today too, you'll probably get a reservation."

Today too?

That meant reservations had been coming in steadily even during the days I was absent.

But who in the world?

Honestly, there's no way anyone spread rumors that I had returned....

'No wonder the manager was even more pissed.'

I bowed my head deeply and left the manager's office.

As I came out, another man—a guard who also served as a cleaner—was standing by the door.

"Ui-ri hyung says to come to the back door."

"Oh, yes......"

......I don't even know this person's name, but from his familiar face, he's clearly been working here for quite a while.

Surely, this person also received a lot of unfair words and looks from me.

"......."

Even if, from my perspective, I didn't attach much meaning to it or it wasn't intentional.

I'm now slowly realizing that to the other person, it could have been a big wound or something they'd remember for life.

"Um, I'm sorry about before."

I used to think apologizing and ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠bowing was shameful as a man.

But I've realized that not admitting one's own mistakes and putting others down is actually more shameful. No, that's the path to being the most pathetic and shameful parent in the world.

I think I finally ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠understand why my parents, despite their busy schedules, would come to the teacher's office and bow to all the teachers for me—a kid who wouldn't listen to anything they said.

"Ah, it's fine. I already heard from Ui-ri hyung. He said you pretty much settled everything with a single punch."

"......."

"Ui-ri hyung is our top dog. If the hyung says he took care of everything, what can we say? Instead, how about buying us a bowl of pork soup and a shot of soju next time? That's enough for us, Kim Hyun-woo-ssi."

At his refreshingly straightforward forgiveness, I smiled faintly and said.

"I'll have to buy you some every time we meet. But I don't know your name... What is your name, by any chance?"

The man with a fist-sized nose scratched his nose and said.

"Chu Dong-man, Chu Dong-man."

"I'll try to remember it."

"Suit yourself."

Chu Dong-man, who said that indifferently, picked up his broom again and was about to go on his way, but then glanced back at me and said.

"You seem to have become a bit more adult-like?"

"......I've been hearing that a lot lately."

"Take care."

I nodded slightly and slowly walked toward the back door of the store that Chu Dong-man had told me about.

Ahn Gi-pyo, Park Ui-ri, Chu Dong-man....

There were probably many others working in this store to make a living. But I had never bothered to remember any of their names.

I suddenly realize how narrow my perspective was, and how much I had treated other people like they didn't exist.

"Got scolded by the manager and going straight for a smoke?"

"Same as ever, same as ever."

"As if people change easily."

Of course, there was no need to respect the bastards who came running to the bathroom to provoke me from the day I returned.

"Where's that dog barking? It's making my ear itch."

I muttered that and immediately opened the back door where Park Ui-ri was waiting and went in. I heard the sound of a barrage of curses from behind, but I didn't care at all.

Because it was literally just the sound of a dog barking.

"You called for me?"

"Didn't you bring cigarettes? There's someone who wants to bum one off you. Especially since you make so much money."

As Park Ui-ri handed me a cigarette, my lips trembled.

For a moment, an insane impulse surged up, thinking how good it would taste if I put that cigarette in my mouth and lit it....

But soon I waved my hand with an awkward smile.

"No thanks, I'm trying to quit smoking now."

"......What?"

Park Ui-ri was startled.

"Quitting smoking is one of the hardest things in the world. How many days are you planning to last?"

"It's already been almost five days."

"Huh, looks like you're pretty serious?"

"Yeah, well......"

There was a reason for it.

"Getting scolded by the manager echoed throughout the whole store."

"I deserved it."

"That too, and if the manager hadn't scolded you like that, the other guys would have hated you even more."

"......."

"Instead, because he scolded you harshly, the other guys can just let it slide quietly. Otherwise, things would have gotten way more complicated."

"I figured that much, roughly."

"Really?"

"Really."

He wasn't the type to throw an ashtray, so when he suddenly threw it, I had some idea.

Plus, I heard the sound of footsteps running away outside.

I stepped back slightly from Park Ui-ri, who was smoking, and opened my mouth.

"You don't really need to console me. It's not that I'm discouraged by this; it's just that I know I was wrong, so I'm keeping quiet. And right now, I can't afford to get kicked out. No matter what was said, I would have stayed somehow."

"You're an adult."

I chuckled and said.

"How about you quit smoking with me this time, hyung?"

At my question, Park Ui-ri made a face that said 'no way'.

"Don't try to drag me into it just because it's hard ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠for you to quit alone. Well, I'll consider it if I see you're doing okay and think it's worth it."

"Okay, deal."

I waited until Park Ui-ri finished his cigarette, then grabbed the door handle again and said as I left.

"Cigarettes, there's nothing good about them."

"Cough, cough... To think I'd live to hear something like that from you."

I thought the same.

To think the day would come when I would change this much.