Someday
"Alright, everyone. You've all got the handouts I passed out, right? Think hard about it over the weekend."
The handout he'd received during assembly right before dismissal — looking at its contents, Yuseong propped his chin on the desk and sighed.
Career aspirations, huh...
Normally this kind of thing would come toward the end of the year, but our school did things differently. Once at the start of the school year, and once again near the end when graduation was approaching. Supposedly it was to check for changes of heart and various other things over the course of the year, but for someone like me it was nothing but a hassle in every possible way.
"I don't really have one, though..."
"Figures, right...?"
As I scratched my head in awkwardness, Seolhwa — who seemed to feel the same way — gave an embarrassed smile and nodded.
I'd only just barely reached the point of going to school and studying like a normal person. There was no way I could suddenly start thinking about the future and all that. The only thing that could have been called a dream — basketball — had been wrecked along with my knee a long time ago, and beyond that I didn't really have any particular talents.
What am I supposed to do...
As I fretted, fluttering the handout in my hand, I felt a light poke against my side. When I turned my head, Seolhwa was fidgeting with her hands, her face flushed, as if she wanted to say something.
I must have gotten lost in thought without realizing it. Yuseong sighed, stuffed the handout into his pocket, and carefully took Seolhwa's hand. Even though she'd been the one to poke him first, Seolhwa seemed startled — but before long the trembling in her body subsided, and she clasped his hand in return.
She was still hesitant, but watching Seolhwa start to show a more proactive side these days, he couldn't help feeling a warm sense of satisfaction.
Well, I can think about it over the weekend.
In the past he would have just handed in a blank sheet, but that wasn't an option anymore. The future — honestly speaking, he was trying hard, but that thing called tomorrow was pitch-black, like a predawn road without a single light, to the point he couldn't see a thing.
He couldn't imagine a bright future of achieving something and living well — not right now — but he was working toward becoming able to, so he figured things would work out somehow.
Because he wasn't alone. There were two of them.
After walking and walking, the place they arrived at wasn't their usual apartment.
"Oh, you're here? Come in, come in!"
When they rang the doorbell, Eunha opened the door and greeted them, the noisy voices of kids echoing behind her.
White Day was coming up soon. At Eunha's suggestion that if they were going to return the favor, they might as well make something themselves, they'd started coming over to her place to learn this and that. Of course, if he went alone Seolhwa would end up staring at an empty house the way he once had, so he'd brought her along — partly to help look after Eunha's younger siblings too.
Learning to make a gift with the person he was giving it to watching felt a bit strange, but since they were living together anyway, doing it at home wouldn't have been much different... He'd already resigned himself to it in more ways than one.
"Thanks for having us again today."
"Yeah, yeah. Leave it to me!"
Last time they'd received a chocolate-shaped game of Russian roulette as a gift, but even that kind of thing was a parlor trick you could only pull off if you actually had some skill. Maybe because she had so many younger siblings, she seemed just as comfortable with housework as Seolhwa.
She's a good kid, as long as her scheming doesn't go in weird directions.
For instance, she always complained about how hard studying was whenever you saw her at it, but surprisingly her grades weren't that bad. Apparently she'd been putting in effort left and right to keep dating Taeyang in the first place — she was more earnest than she looked, you could say.
"You weren't thinking something rude just now, were you?"
"...I don't think so?"
He hadn't said a word, yet Eunha seemed to have read his mind with uncanny accuracy and was glaring daggers at him. Yuseong had no choice but to look away and play dumb.
"Honestly, that's so rude to a lady."
Lady where? The words rose all the way to his throat, but he managed to hold them back. One more word and he might get kicked out.
"I've been thinking this for a while, but you've got pretty good learning ability, huh, Yuseong?"
The goal was to bake a pound cake before White Day arrived. As he carefully stirred the beaten eggs with a whisk, Eunha suddenly brought it up.
"Yeah?"
"You get things the first time I explain them. Nothing seems to trip you up."
"I dunno. I used to play sports, so maybe? Not sure if it's related."
When you play sports, you tend to pick up a certain instinct whether you want to or not. Though the me of back then had lived a life pretty far removed from words like that.
"By the way~ You've come a long way, Yuseong. Even remembering anniversaries for your girlfriend and everything."
"Nobody asked for your opinion."
"Oh my, talking back to your teacher like that — I'm shocked."
"Don't imitate that guy. I might smack you without thinking."
As Eunha mimicked their homeroom teacher crying without shedding a single actual tear, Yuseong waved her off, telling her to cut it out. How that guy had ended up as their homeroom teacher again was beyond him. Having mostly familiar faces in the class assignment was nice, but in many ways the man was a thorn in his side.
"Aww, but he's a fun guy, isn't he? I like him."
"He gives me the creeps."
People you couldn't read were unsettling in all kinds of ways. Honestly, even if she got on his nerves, this simple-minded girl was way better.
"Well, by that logic, you — who are about as far from earnest as it gets — must have been a real headache for the teacher too, huh?"
"...When you put it like that, I've got nothing."
When she brought up his weak points like this, he had no choice but to wave the white flag. He sighed in surrender, and Eunha let out a snicker.
"I just mean don't hate him too much. Either way, you've got another year of dealing with him, right? Keeping that attitude is only going to hurt you."
"I'll show him some mercy."
She wasn't wrong, so Yuseong had no choice but to nod along. As they chatted about this and that, the oven let out its distinctive beep, and the savory smell of baked bread began to fill the air.
"Kids, snack time!"
After several days of steady practice, the cake had finally taken on a decent shape. The moment he brought it out on a plate, Eunha's younger siblings — who'd been playing with Seolhwa — came charging over at full speed. Incidentally, since Seolhwa was watching the kids and giving them a bit of free time, both parents seemed to have already headed off to work.
Raising that many kids must be exhausting in all kinds of ways. On that front, he could only honestly feel admiration.
He carefully took a bite of the cake, and it was better than expected — soft texture, and the taste wasn't bad either.
"...How is it?"
But that was an extremely subjective assessment from the person who'd made it evaluating his own work. Suppressing his worry about whether it was actually okay, Yuseong asked the other two for their opinions.
"...It's good."
"Why even ask~ Of course the teacher's is good. The teacher's!"
"Yeah, yeah. Aren't you special... Thanks."
Somehow he'd managed to pass. As he wiped his chest in relief, some little boy started poking him.
"What?"
"Hey, you're dating Seolhwa-noona, right?"
"...Yeah?"
"Then how come you don't do the 'aah~' thing when you eat with noona?"
At that sudden bombshell, the cake he'd been eating caught in his throat. He coughed violently and downed the milk in his cup before he could breathe properly again. Seeing his reaction, Eunha wore a wicked smile like she'd found a fun new toy, and an uneasy feeling washed over him — he'd walked right into this one.
"Eunha-noona does it with Taeyang-hyung all the time."
"They're the abnormal ones—"
Before he could finish, someone else started poking his arm. He turned to find Eunha holding out a fork with a piece of cake on it, giving him a thumbs-up.
"Be a man here!"
For a split second he considered snapping that thumb clean off. But Seolhwa, though her face was red, wasn't saying anything — and she seemed quietly expectant... In the end, he surrendered to the violence known as majority rule.
Sure, something similar had happened not long ago, but back then he'd at least had the excuse of being in pain. But now there was a full audience, and the arm holding the fork was trembling like a leaf from sheer embarrassment.
"A-aah~"
As he fed the cake to Seolhwa, who opened and closed her mouth like a baby bird waiting to be fed, squeals and whistles erupted from all around. Seolhwa, on the receiving end, was no better off than he was — her face was so much redder than usual it looked ready to explode at any second.
"Hey~ You're not seriously stopping at just one, are you?"
"Yeah, yeah!"
At the voices crying out for an encore, Seolhwa and Yuseong's death cries overlapped.
"...I'm gonna die. For real."
In the end, they could only leave Eunha's house after emptying the entire cake plate through the feeding routine. Was it just his imagination that he'd aged several years in that short time? Seolhwa still seemed affected too — every time their eyes met, she whipped her head away.
"You had it rough too. Looking after kids like that is a real job..."
If it had been Yuseong, he would have blown up or collapsed long ago. True to the Eunha family name, that energy level was just too much to handle. But Seolhwa visited Eunha's place fairly often. Having come to Eunha's place himself this time, Yuseong found it endlessly amazing how well Seolhwa looked after the kids every time he watched her.
"It's fine. They're all good kids."
"I learned that too much innocence becomes a weapon. Kids are terrifying."
It was getting toward mid-March, but a chilly wind was still blowing. Unable to stand it, he stuck one hand in his pocket and felt the handout he'd put off thinking about earlier.
"Come to think of it, is there anything you want to do?"
"...I don't know. I've never thought about it."
Given that Seolhwa's grades were in the top tier, she wouldn't have trouble no matter which career path she chose. But getting exactly the answer he'd expected, Yuseong let out a small sigh of resignation.
"Something like a job where you can be around kids?"
"...Huh?"
It must have been an unexpected suggestion. As Seolhwa tilted her head in a daze, Yuseong added, "Just for example."
"It seems like it'd suit you pretty well."
The way Seolhwa played so well with the kids at Eunha's place just now, for one.
I just thought it would be nice if someone did this for me.
The things she'd said when taking Mini to the police station.
I want to treasure them, so they never feel the same pain I did...
And those words he'd heard not long ago...
How many people could say they hoped no one else like themselves would come into being — even after losing their mother at birth and being treated worse than cold leftovers by those who remained? An ironic girl who was still passive about herself, yet always proactive when it came to others.
Because she was that kind of person, the job of a teacher — someone who takes others by the hand and guides them — might suit her quite well. Whether at a school, a kindergarten, a daycare, or a welfare center — it wouldn't matter. Wherever it was, if it was Seolhwa, she'd be fine.
"Me..."
Hearing Yuseong's words, Seolhwa murmured as if she couldn't believe it, her eyes dazed.
"Well, I'm just saying."
Take your time thinking about it, he said, gently stroking Seolhwa's hair.
Yuseong and Seolhwa both... had lived until now without ever looking ahead. But now they had each other — a precious someone who made them look forward. Having resolved to change even just a little at a time, they were moving forward.
Someday they would reach it — that thing called a happy future.
Even if slowly, even if gradually — they were walking.