Chapter 41: No Exceptions, Not Even for a Dog
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 41: No Exceptions, Not Even for a Dog
“Trainee Tyrkanzyaka!”
I called out to the vampire as she was about to turn away. Tilting her parasol slightly, she turned only her head to look at me.
“What is it?”
“It’s just a dog barking. Don’t be too upset. I’ll help you.”
“Upset? Ho. Setting aside whether I am upset or not, what could you possibly do to help?”
Rather than offering some clumsy comfort, it was better to just overwrite the memory entirely. Tsk, this is tough. Covering for the Regressor is a real pain.
I quickly reached out and took the vampire’s hand. It was so small and slender it felt like I could hide it completely within my palm. While she flinched in surprise, I gently wrapped my hand around hers.
“What is the meaning of this?”
What do you mean? I’m holding your hand.
But that probably wasn’t the answer she was looking for. Her words were a reprimand for my rudeness in taking a lady’s hand without permission. Though in this case, the ‘lady’ in question was several centuries past her prime.
In any case, rather than making excuses…
“Your hand is cool.”
“Cool?”
“Yes. Like the shade of a tree you stumble upon in summer, it’s the perfect, pleasant temperature. I feel like I could hold it for a long time and still feel refreshed.”
It was a line that could sound a bit cheesy. Taking advantage of the moment she was at a loss for words, I pulled her hand. She could have shaken me off if she’d wanted to, but her mind was too muddled to find its bearings.
My hand became a guidepost for her lost heart. The vampire followed my lead, limp and unresisting.
Pulling her with one hand, I stretched my other out toward Azzy. Azzy, who had been wary of the approaching vampire, looked at me and lifted her head.
“Hey. Azzy.”
“Grrr… Woof.”
“You little punk. Calm down. What are you, made of salt? It’s not like you’ll die from a little contact. Why are you so upset?”
“Woof?”
“Cheer up! Paw!”
“Woof!”
Azzy immediately lifted her paw. I chuckled and tickled her under the chin. At the same time, I slowly, deliberately, pulled the vampire’s hand closer. Azzy’s paw and the vampire’s hand drew nearer and nearer.
Don’t tell me. He’s trying to make me touch the Dog King? What a childish idea.
Realizing what I was trying to do, the vampire hesitated. Her hand froze. She was afraid to touch.
It wasn’t because she was worried about being attacked. Azzy, the Dog King, only accepted humans. Because of that, the vampire had never been welcomed by any dog. Whenever she walked through a village, dogs would either bark furiously or flee, whimpering.
Thus, any encounter between the vampire and a dog had always ended in a one-sided rejection.
“It’s okay. My dog doesn’t bite.”
I led her hand gently. The vampire hesitated for a moment, then relaxed her arm as if to say, do as you please. And Azzy, well, she didn’t resist me.
I pulled their slowly approaching hands together until they overlapped.
Naturally, nothing dramatic happened the moment they touched. The vampire didn’t shed tears of emotion, and Azzy didn’t bare her teeth.
Setting aside the fact that the vampire couldn’t cry and Azzy couldn’t be hostile to humans.
What just happened was simply that trivial.
I pointed that out to the vampire.
“A dog barking or avoiding someone’s hand is a daily occurrence. A suspicious dog will bark at any ordinary stranger on principle. So from now on, just because a dog seems a little scared of you, please don’t read too much into it, thinking things like ‘the Dog King is my enemy’ or ‘I’m not human.’”
Then I turned my head and glared at Azzy. She was staring back at me with wide, innocent eyes.
“You too, Azzy. You can’t just bark at people like that. Tsk! Do you know who this is?!”
“Woof?”
“You just try living a long time. Age is like dust, it sticks to you everywhere the more you get? Sadly, there’s nothing you can do about it. But if you bark like that just because she carries her age in her bearing, how do you think she’d feel? Ack! Why’d you hit me again?!”
“That is the price for your insolence. You rude whelp.”
The vampire said with a snort.
“You are several times more insolent than the Dog King or Shei. You were wrong from the start to assume I would be displeased by such a trivial matter.”
“If you’re not displeased, then stop hitting me!”
“You do not guard your tongue, so why should I guard my actions?”
This time, the vampire reached out her hand. A hand as delicate as a fern shoot flicked my forehead. Tok, something tapped against my skin.
It didn’t hurt at all. If anything, it was just a little cold.
The vampire smiled pleasantly and pulled her hand away.
“And regardless of what you do, I have no intention of waiting on the Dog King. If I am near, the Dog King will surely run wild. I’ll pass on wrestling with a violently resisting Beast King.”
“I wasn’t exactly expecting you to do any labor, Trainee Tyrkanzyaka. Don’t you know me? As you can see, I may not be much for other things, but my manners are impeccable.”
“…?”
Aha. It seems the etiquette I know has all but vanished in this modern era. I thought these whelps were exceptionally rude, but if the times have truly changed, I suppose it is possible.
What kind of ridiculous misunderstanding was this?
Me, rude? That’s strange. Who in the world respects seniority more than I do?
“Anyway, to sum up everyone’s positions, it’s like this, right? First, me: I have to wash Azzy. Trainee Shei: He’s displeased that any dirty man other than himself would wash Azzy. Trainee Tyrkanzyaka: You guys do the work. The end?”
“Woof! Me! I don’t wanna be washed!”
“You shut up!”
“Whine.”
“Everyone, listen carefully. This is a master plan that will solve everything in one fell swoop.”
I spoke with grim determination.
“Alright, first. I will wash Azzy… but only a ‘part’ of her.”
“A part?”
I explained my plan to the questioning parties.
“Originally, I wanted to wash her whole body, but since Trainee Shei is so opposed, I have no choice. Instead, I will wash Azzy’s hands, feet, and hair… any part with fur, and I’ll scrub them thoroughly. So there’s no more fur to shed or dust to cling.”
My primary goal was to get rid of Azzy’s fur and dust. As long as that was guaranteed, I could compromise on the rest.
“Next, Trainee Shei, who wants to caress Azzy’s entire body, will wash the rest. I’ll even turn a blind eye to him satisfying his personal desires. Let him wash her however he wants. Unlike Trainee Shei, my goal is purely hygiene and cleanliness, so as long as he uses a reasonable amount of soap and water, I don’t really care what he does with Azzy. Though it is a bit infuriating.”
“Stop slandering me! I have no intention of doing anything with Azzy!”
I ignored the Regressor’s protest and continued.
“And Trainee Tyrkanzyaka will supervise both me and Trainee Shei from a neutral standpoint. I’m one thing, but who knows what Trainee Shei, with his head full of wicked thoughts, might try to pull.”
“I told you I won’t!”
“What can you do? According to Trainee Shei, it seems that regardless of will or inner thoughts, the moment a man lays a hand on a woman’s body, lust is born. I want to be a good person, so I’ll give up. I’ll pass this opportunity to Trainee Shei instead.”
“Stop framing me! I’m!”
Furious at being repeatedly teased, the Regressor shot to her feet and shouted.
“I’m telling you, I like men!”
Well, of course she does. She’s a woman.
But unlike me, the vampire was profoundly shocked.
“Wh-what did you say? A man… with a man?”
At the shocking coming-out of someone she considered a disciple of sorts, the vampire’s eyes flew wide open. She was so startled that, despite not having high blood pressure, she instinctively clutched the back of her neck.
Staggering for a moment, the vampire waved her hand dismissively.
“It is… it is fine. The world is vast, and the times have changed again. I suppose such things can be.”
“N-no. Wait a minute. Tyrkanzyaka. This is…”
“I understand. I do understand… but… could you stay away from me for a moment?”
Finally cut off by the vampire, the Regressor wore a dumbfounded expression before turning to glare at me, seething. I wasn’t sure why she was looking at me like I was her mortal enemy when she was the one who’d self-destructed.
In any case, no one objected to my proposal.
“Woof! Woof woof! Me! I don’t wanna be washed!”
No person objected to my proposal. 3-to-0. Passed unanimously.
Azzy kept barking something, but dogs don’t get a vote. If she had a problem with it, she could get an ID card issued, change the law, and then come back. Of course, if she showed up with a dog ID claiming it was official, she’d be headed straight for the stew pot.
Having gained the support of the masses, I immediately began the task of washing Azzy.
“Whine, whine…”
Azzy stretched her arms out with all her might and turned her head away as if she couldn’t bear to look. It was clear that if she could, she would have torn off her own hands, now covered in soap and water. Regardless, I resolutely poured water over her hands and scrubbed them hard with laundry soap. Each time, Azzy squeezed her eyes shut and whimpered as if having a nightmare.
“Ugh. Look at this grimy water. It gives me the creeps to think she’s been walking around with hands like these.”
Black water mixed with golden fur flowed down the drain and disappeared. I was infinitely grateful to Mother Earth for accepting even this filthy water.
Azzy was a dog. She wore a human shell, but her body was imbued with the characteristics of a dog. Not a single drop of sweat came from her body, but the palms of her hands and the soles of her feet had sweat glands, so they would get damp quickly if she ran around. The sweat, fur, and dust would get tangled up into an indescribable mess.
I practically scraped the soft pads of Azzy’s palms clean. Even when she wiggled as if it tickled, I forced them open and scrubbed. It was an act closer to laundering or scouring than bathing. Beads of sweat ran down my face, but for the sake of hygiene in Tantalus, this was one area I could absolutely not compromise on.
The sight of me silently scrubbing away all that filth was truly reverent. The Regressor, who had accused me of being impure, would surely reflect upon seeing this. A detached touch, devoid of any lust, aimed purely at cleanliness…
“…How lewd.”
“Excuse me?”
Wait. What did I just hear?
When I looked up, the vampire was covering her eyes with one hand, as if she couldn’t bear to watch.
“To caress a moaning maiden’s hand so obscenely. It is shameful. If that is not lewd, what is?”
I’d forgotten. The vampire was an old fossil with the ethics of the 12th century. To this vampire, even a man and a woman holding hands had lewd connotations!
“No. Setting aside why holding hands is lewd… she’s a dog?”
“That is why I am merely watching instead of using my power to punish you. However, lewdness is lewdness… How scandalous. It seems Shei’s worries were not entirely unfounded.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
At this rate, she’d say lacing our fingers together was the same as our bodies overlapping. I ignored her and focused on washing Azzy.
While I washed, every time my soapy fingers delved into Azzy’s thick fur or between her fingers, I had to listen to a chorus of sighs.
“Ahem.”
“Mmm.”
“Tsk.”
This was miserable. All I wanted was to live cleanly, and here I was, being called lewd for washing a dog’s paws. If I’d actually done something lewd, I wouldn’t even feel this wronged.
I think I’d feel less miserable even if I were being nagged by my mother-in-law for being bad at housework.
“They say when you’re surrounded by the abnormal, the normal one becomes the abnormal one…”
I lamented while washing Azzy’s hands.
For some reason, both the Regressor and the vampire nodded as if they agreed.
I was about to burst from frustration.
That man. He’s so skilled at handling Azzy and Tyrkanzyaka.
With soap suds covering her hands and feet, the Dog King was now having her hair washed. Even with her neck tilted back and a towel over her forehead, she kept her eyes and mouth shut tight, lest any water splash on her. The vampire was fiddling with her own hair, muttering things like “how scandalous.”
The Regressor watched them quietly, lost in thought.
Azzy and Tyrkanzyaka don’t fundamentally hate humans. They are beings who cannot exist without humans. And yet.
But in the previous timeline.
The vampire was fated to lead her army of blood against the Sanctum, only to be defeated… The Regressor had managed to act a step ahead, nullifying the vampires’ uprising and making them allies, but she hadn’t been able to resolve their deep-seated grudges.
Azzy had become a monster that tore at humans with her claws and teeth. The Regressor hadn’t confirmed her end, but she must have died somewhere on the battlefield. At that time, the Regressor had cut down countless beasts, beastkin, and the mastermind behind the plot.
Compared to who they were now, it was a change that, by common sense, should have been impossible.
What in the world happened to them in the previous timeline? No.
The Regressor’s eyes turned to the man washing Azzy. He was too flippant to be a warden, too ambiguous to be a powerhouse, but an unfathomable figure nonetheless.
An outsider who had suddenly appeared in Tantalus, and…
The only one who wasn’t there when Tantalus collapsed.
That man. What in the world did he do to them?
Without knowing the future, she couldn’t be certain. The Regressor had chased the past, but from the moment she entered this place, history had changed.
Originally, I planned to eliminate all variables, but that man was stronger than expected. Instead, I changed my plan to constantly observe what he does… but I’ve already interfered, so I don’t know if this is the original course of history or not. It’s been twisted too much. All that’s left is to piece things together with the clues I had before regressing.
The Regressor’s gaze drifted downward. The rooftop with the water tank, the highest point in Tantalus.
To pinpoint him, who was still holding his breath below.
The witness who watched all of this unfold within Tantalus… The Undying. When will he awaken? If I can match the timing of his awakening with his testimony, I might be able to figure something out.
A continuous stream of water rinsed the soap suds from Azzy’s body. Her glossy, golden-brown fur shone even under the dim light. After a rough toweling, Azzy shook her head vigorously. Water droplets clinging to her fur flew in every direction, and the man, soaked in the downpour, got angry.
It was an idyllic, peaceful scene. The vampire was stable, and Azzy was healthy. If these days could continue, these former Fragments of the Apocalypse would walk out of Tantalus just as they were, in peace…
It was impossible, but it would be nice if it could happen.
The Regressor broke away from her thoughts.
And at the same moment, my eyes, which had been peeking into those memories, grew somber.