Chapter 38
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 38
Chapter Title: Then Die
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Then die.
Pollutant Classification: Corpse
A system message that popped up while I was staring at that skeleton. Without any mention of skeleton or undead, it simply labeled it as 'corpse'.
In the 'Cleaning Game,' which featured every conceivable type of cleaning scenario, there were naturally plenty of maps requiring the disposal of human corpses. Some even had time limits for cleaning up murder scenes, or involved clearing out spaceships piled high with alien bodies...
In any case, because of that, the 'Cleaning Game' classified all corpses uniformly as the 'corpse' pollutant category, regardless of whether they were skeletons, flesh-attached remains, torsos only, or alien bodies.
So...
-Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh!-
"Gelgel?"
"This works."
The corpse—no, the skeleton—rising from underground kept thrusting its bony arms, consisting only of exposed joints. But each time, its movements slipped dramatically, as if sliding off something, resulting in repeated misses.
'Raising the level of [Janitor's Clothes] prevents blood or flesh from corpses from sticking to the clothes... or rather, the body.'
Whether in reality or the game, cleaning corpses naturally involves blood and flesh splattering. In the 'Cleaning Game,' if the [Janitor's Clothes] level was low, the player character would get covered in filth while handling corpses. Moving in that state would leave trails of grime along the path, dirtying everything.
Leveling up equipment prevented such issues. With sufficient levels, contaminants wouldn't adhere to the character's body...
'Who knew it worked like this.'
The skeleton's attacks kept veering off, as if repelled by an invisible barrier. It should have realized by now that they weren't landing, but as if it lacked any intelligence, the skeleton persisted with its futile strikes.
Regardless of whether it was moving or not, this was still 'pollutant material,' right? So there was no need to smash it with the [High-Pressure Cleaner]...
"Collect."
Collecting the relevant pollutant.
With that short word, the ceaselessly writhing skeleton vanished in an instant. Checking the [Collection List], the skeleton was there, neatly categorized under 'corpse'.
"Erzsebet. Step back."
"Hm? Master? No need for you to step in. I can just..."
I approached Erzsebet, who was gleefully slicing through skeletons from behind. As she retreated in confusion, the skeletons before us charged at the newly appeared me. I took them all in at once and muttered.
"Collect."
Collecting the relevant pollutant.
One short word. And just like that, the skeletons in front vanished. As expected... I had felt it earlier when collecting all those arrows—if they're within sight, I can collect multiple at once. In the game, you had to interact with each one individually...
"Master... What was that just now? An application of space magic? Like how you arbitrarily teleported me, did you do the same to these skeletons...?"
Erzsebet still thought I was some grand archmage or something, but whatever—misconceptions are free.
"Let's move quickly."
The sudden fear had completely evaporated. Skeletons? Specters? All just fodder.
After confirming that all skeletons registered as 'corpses,' our search of the underground cavern accelerated dramatically. It was a breeze. While cleaning dirty spots, if a skeleton popped out, just 'collect'—done.
Occasionally, specters... or wraiths and banshees as Erzsebet called them, mixed in, but to me, they all looked like generic ghosts, so I sucked them up with the [Ghost Cleaner].
"...Undead are supposed to be extremely tricky opponents..."
Erzsebet, following behind me, wore a bewildered expression, as if cognitive dissonance had hit her hard at the sight. But I didn't care about her mood. I was thrilled right now!
Why? Because these undead, all classified as pollutants, were generating points en masse!
Current Points: 9,745p
'About to hit ten thousand soon?'
Rio and Dry, left upstairs, must be cleaning diligently too—we were already nearing ten thousand points. And that wasn't the end. We could [Sell] or pulverize the heroes' gear in the [Pulverizer] for more points.
'Save that for later...'
For now, with points plentiful, I left the heroes' abandoned equipment untouched instead of scrapping it. Before, with no points, we converted everything immediately to avoid starving, but now with surplus, other desires emerged.
'Could I use any of it?'
I glanced down at the longsword I'd grabbed just in case. The one that hero Chris called Durandal or something. Being born a man, one can't help but romanticize 'swords,' so I kept this stylish one intact.
'Holy Relics can't be used by demonkin, only humans... and I'm human.'
Everyone I met kept calling me a half-breed or whatever, but though I came from another world, I'm unequivocally human. So maybe... I could use these Holy Relics too?
"No reaction right now, though..."
I tried stabbing it into the ground like that hero did, or tilting the scales randomly, but nothing happened. Still, it looked cool, so I'd carry the sword around.
In any event, prioritizing search over minimal cleaning while dispatching undead, Erzsebet suddenly called out to halt me.
"Master."
"Hm? What? Telling me to stop cleaning again? I already minimized it..."
"Something's approaching."
"........."
Turning to check Erzsebet's expression, it was gravely serious—unlike before. Having confirmed that ethereal monsters and skeletons posed no threat to me, her tension put me on edge too. I stopped cleaning and stuck close to her.
-Clank... clank...
Soon, a dull metallic sound echoed from afar. Unlike the rattling bones of walking skeletons, it was the clear clash of metal on metal. And not just one or two—numerous sounds approaching.
And then, they appeared.
'Knights...?'
The source of the metallic clamor. Knights in glossy black armor, properly maintained unlike the shabby gear on skeletons, led the way.
Behind them, corpses covered in tattered flesh like movie zombies carried something in unison. Like palanquin bearers in old historical dramas, they bore a large, ornate chair... resembling a king's throne.
And upon that throne sat someone.
A gaze colder than when I first met Erzsebet, like staring at roadside filth. Unlike the skeletons, specters, or zombies I'd seen, this man had the appearance of a living person. Yet his pallid, bloodless face made it hard to tell if he truly lived.
Seated arrogantly on the throne, the man glanced down at Erzsebet and me before addressing us in a voice cold as ice.
"Are you the ones?"
"......?"
This entity hurled a contextless question at us out of nowhere. For a moment, I thought it mad, but Erzsebet tensed and muttered beside me.
"Lich...? No, but it has an eerie presence. This is... an Arch-Lich?"
Erzsebet, who had never tensed even against invading heroes, signaled me cautiously with a highly alert face. The hand signal we'd predetermined before descending the stairs. Its meaning...
'Run if things go south?'
"We are in a foul mood right now. I awoke from long slumber to find someone had tampered with my memories."
While I parsed her signal, the man—referring to himself with the delusional imperial 'We'—continued in his icy tone.
"I shall ask properly. Was it you who meddled with We's memories?"
.....Memories?
As I hesitated at the enigmatic words, Erzsebet stepped forward first to respond.
"We have no idea what you're talking about. We've never seen you before. We found stairs on the upper level of this ruin, and when a skeleton climbed up them, we came down to investigate."
Her calm tone conveyed our situation. Notably, unlike usual, she refrained from rash action, proceeding with utmost caution.
"Insolent."
".....?"
But despite Erzsebet's flawless response, the man on the throne furrowed his brow.
"Kneel and bow your head before Us. Your speech is insolent too. Show respect to Us."
Utterly arrogant, he demanded we kneel on the spot. At that, Erzsebet's eyebrow twitched despite her careful demeanor.
".....I wonder who here is truly insolent. Did you just tell me to kneel?"
"Indeed, lowly thing. All things in the world are beneath Us, so naturally, you bow before Us, no?"
As he spoke like explaining self-evident truth, Erzsebet slowly drew the [High-Pressure Cleaner] I'd given her.
"And if I refuse?"
"Then die."
To Erzsebet, who rejected kneeling, the man casually pronounced death. At once, the lead black knight's sword flashed like lightning, severing her neck.
-SLASH!-