The Weight of Responsibility
“No, Mom, if you’re sick, you have to tell me! Why be so reckless?!”
Charles and I had practically pulled an all-nighter. Even when I tried to sleep, I’d wake up in the middle of the night, check my Pornhub video earnings, scan the comments, and then try to drift off again. Every time I saw the view count, my heart would pound so hard I couldn’t possibly sleep. I only managed to doze off when morning came, and I didn’t wake up until nearly one in the afternoon. Since I had to head to my part-time job at three, I needed to start getting ready. Plus, I had promised to meet Youngsun-nuna at two...
Even though I’d slept a lot, I felt exhausted from the lack of quality rest. I forced my stiff, aching body up. Charles was still fast asleep. I headed to the kitchen and threw together a quick meal. I put some spicy tuna on rice, topped it with cheese, and popped it in the microwave. Add a pack of seasoned seaweed, and you’ve got a classic bachelor’s feast! Charles especially loved the seaweed. She seemed to enjoy the crispy texture and salty taste so much that she’d eat it like a snack, one sheet at a time. Whenever I was at work, she’d always text me to ask if it was okay to eat some, and even though I told her not to worry and just eat it, it broke my heart. It felt like I was looking at my own childhood, growing up without enough to eat... I wanted her to eat as much seaweed as she wanted! I still had a decent amount of money in my account, and the Pornhub earnings would be available for withdrawal soon anyway.
I set the table and called for Charles. She approached me, rubbing her sleepy eyes. “Hehe... Oppa, thanks for making breakfast.” She hugged me tight and gave me a peck on the cheek. I could feel her soft, ample breasts pressing against my arms. I wrapped my arms around her waist and gave her a kiss on the lips in return. “It’s nothing, really.”
She took a bite of the steaming rice topped with the spicy tuna and cheese. Her expression shifted through a dozen different reactions. I was glad she liked rice just as much as bread. While we ate, I suggested some plans for the afternoon. “Charles, if you’re bored, come visit me at the PC bang.” I’d already uploaded one video, so I should probably take a day off. Of course, I wanted to upload more since the money was good, but if I burned out, it would all be for nothing!
But Charles already had plans. “I’m meeting Yuda-unni today.” Charles stretched like a cat. My mom always used to tell me not to stretch at the dinner table, but if it were Charles being this cute, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind. But Yuda-nuna? What for?
“Oh. She said she’d teach me how to take care of my tattoo. And I think she wants to get closer to us as a couple! She asked if you could come too, but I told her you couldn’t because of your part-time job.”
Damn, that’s a shame! “Tell her I can make it on Sunday next time.” Since I started living with Charles, I’d switched to working six days a week. I figured I’d need more living expenses. But since the Pornhub earnings were this high, as soon as I could withdraw them, I was going to quit and focus entirely on making videos!
“Got it. Ah—I hope the money comes in soon! Then we can be stuck together all day, Oppa!” Charles smiled happily while chewing her food. She seemed so excited at the thought of being with me. *Sigh!* What does this girl eat to be this cute? “Charles, why are you so cute?” I gave her a kiss on the cheek, and she giggled and kissed me back.
After we finished eating, Charles did the dishes while I got ready for work. Once I’d washed up and changed, she clung to my side, her eyes sparkling. “Oppa, when you come back today... what do you want to do?”
Well, I was planning to teach Youngsun-nuna how to perform analingus and fellatio while teasing her ass. Maybe I should keep things normal with Charles? “Hmm... want to watch a movie together? We can talk about video concepts. And kiss in between.” When I said ‘kiss’ and stroked her waist, she laughed shyly and nodded vigorously. She seemed happy that I was being so kind. I could save the hardcore stuff for when we were filming.
“I’m off!” I packed my bag, said goodbye, and pulled my bike out. I was waiting at a traffic light when my phone rang. Was it Charles? Or Youngsun-nuna? It was my mom. What was going on? She almost never called me first. I frowned, a bad feeling settling in my gut as I answered. “Mom. What’s up?”
“Yeah, Kangmin-ah. It’s Mom. Are you doing well?” Her voice sounded weak. Lately, whenever we talked, she’d be blunt, and whenever I asked how she was, she’d just say ‘so-so.’ She’d always say nothing was wrong. For her to call me first... I was anxious. “I’m doing fine. What’s the matter, Mom?”
She hesitated for a long time. I stopped my bike, waiting even after the light turned green. Finally, she spoke. “Um... could you send me some money?”
I was stunned. My mom, who had never asked for such a thing in her life? Back when I was working part-time, she’d hit my calves with a switch to stop me, saying I didn’t need to earn money. Why was she saying this now? When I was in high school, I knew our family situation was tough, so I delivered flyers on the weekends. When I handed her the 100,000 won I’d earned after two days of running up and down apartment complexes, she’d been furious. *‘When did I ever tell you to go earn money! Do you want to live like your mother for the rest of your life? I told you to study! Why won’t you listen!’* She wasn’t even satisfied with that; she made me stand there and beat me. I took it in silence and went to my room. I was incredibly angry inside. I couldn’t understand why she was hitting me.
That night, she stroked my calves while I pretended to be asleep and apologized. *‘I’m sorry... I feel so pathetic that I’m making someone as young as you worry about money. I’m sorry... I know you did it for my sake... Oh, my Kangmin... who did you take after to have such a deep heart...’* She cried and apologized. I didn’t wake up, just swallowed my sobs. After that, I never worked a part-time job until I got to college. But once I started university, I refused to let her send me living expenses and started working. I knew how hard it was for her. She tried desperately to stop me, but she finally gave in when I told her I’d quit if I didn’t get a scholarship. And I got a full scholarship for my freshman year. And for the first semester of my sophomore year, too. And during the breaks... I put my studies aside and worked at a cafe. I had to save up money now so I could take time off to study during the second semester.
Meeting Charles had sent my life in an unpredictable direction, but regardless, my mom was the type to send *me* money, never the other way around. The fact that she was asking me for money was a huge shock. I pressed her, asking why she needed it. “Mom. What happened? You have to tell me why you need money for me to send it.”
She hesitated again for a long time before answering. “I... I fell down recently. My wrist has been aching, so I haven’t been able to go to work. I need it for medicine... and some living expenses.”
What? You got hurt? My head spun. “Mom. How long has it been hurting?”
“About two weeks. It’s fine now, though.”
“Ah, why didn’t you tell me?!”
“I didn’t want you to lose focus on your studies...”
It’s summer break, what studies? I let out a sigh. I had 4 million won piled up on Pornhub, but they said it would take a month or more to withdraw. I ran my hands through my hair. I only had 1.7 million won left in my account. “Mom, how much do you need?”
“500,000... no, could you lend me 1 million won...? I need to pay back the debt I owe the ladies at the restaurant...”
I covered my face. Knowing my mom’s personality, she probably needed 2 million but was downplaying it. I pulled the phone away and agonized over it for a moment. Living expenses... how much would Charles and I need...? Damn it... My mom’s face flashed in my mind. Without thinking about the consequences, I transferred 1.5 million won. She sounded shocked and thanked me repeatedly. “Oh, Kangmin-ah. I’m sorry. No, 1.5 million won... do you have enough for your own living expenses?”
“It’s fine. I have some extra money right now.”
“No, what money could you possibly have? You shouldn’t neglect your studies. You aren’t slacking off on your studies because of your part-time job, are you?”
What should I say? I couldn’t tell her it was Pornhub. “Cryptocurrency is popular these days. A friend told me about it a while ago, so I bought 100,000 won worth. It’s worth 4 million now. It takes a while to withdraw, but don’t worry about money.”
“What? Hey, you’re a student, you should be studying. Why are you doing things like that...!” Despite her scolding, her voice sounded bright. She seemed relieved that the guilt of borrowing money from her child had been lifted. I felt like crying. If you’re sick, just tell me. Why hide it so stupidly because you don’t want to ask for money or worry me...
“It’s okay, Mom. Use it for your medicine and living expenses. You’re sure you’re not in pain now, right? Do I need to come down there?”
“Oh, I’m fine. You know I’m nothing if not sturdy.”
“Got it. Take care of yourself. Tell me next time, for sure.”
“I will. I’m hanging up.”
I hung up and checked my balance. 30,000 won left. I had 15,000 won from my reserve forces travel allowance coming in. Was there any more money coming? I refreshed my timeline, clinging to a futile hope. Only outgoing transactions. ATM withdrawal 800,000 won. That was for the tattoo... I refreshed the timeline again, and suddenly the balance changed to 2,000 won. “Huh? What?” I opened the transaction history in a panic.
F...uck... My arms dropped to my sides, and I sank into despair. I’d been keeping the air conditioning blasting so Charles wouldn’t get hot, and that had been the final blow to my bank account. Payday was still two weeks away, but I had no choice... I’d have to ask my boss for an advance... I’d been so excited about having sex with Youngsun-nuna in ten minutes, but the moment I hit financial trouble, my sexual arousal completely vanished. It was a relief that my mom’s wrist was better, but...
“No! Don’t get depressed!” I slapped both my cheeks to pull myself together. I had the Pornhub earnings! Even if it was in the ‘unavailable for withdrawal’ period, it was still money! To confirm it was real, I went to the Pornhub seller tab and checked the earnings. 5,110 USD. It had already gone up to 5.6 million won! My mood improved as I checked the earnings. Right. In a month, I’d be able to withdraw it! I’d just have to get an advance on my salary and scrape by until then! If that didn’t work, I’d ask Youngsun-nuna... No. That was a pathetic, gigolo-like thought. You shouldn’t mix money with people close to you! I gave my conscience a pep talk and headed toward Leon PC Bang.
Current time: 1:45 PM. Good. 15 minutes until Youngsun-nuna arrives. Time to start the preparations...