This Doesn't Make Any Sense...
It just didn't make any sense by any stretch of common sense...
Nemui Nene, Star Live's second-generation VTuber and the beast-girl character built around the concept of a dream-eating youkai, calmly finished her stream. Then she sat herself down in the corner of her room and coldly started turning the gears in her head.
"It just doesn't make any sense..."
When Yeonwoo-ssi had suddenly vanished, she'd had no idea what to think. She'd been certain the Boss and the seniors had gotten into a fight over him and things had finally blown up into a full-blown disaster.
Maybe Senior Eo had casually slapped him and his head had just kept spinning. Maybe Senior Rina had clung to him so hard she'd choked him into a vegetative state. Or maybe Senior Karen, having finally made some monumental decision, had swung a knife and accidentally stabbed him. Something out of a trashy melodrama, she'd figured. Looking at the members clustered around Yeonwoo-ssi these days, that kind of chaos wouldn't have been strange at all. She herself was one of those members, after all.
But then came the message.
"AI voice changer? What the hell even..."
The news that they were going to use an AI voice changer to debut Yeonwoo-ssi as Star Live employee "Woo Yeonha" had made her open the company app on the spot and start grilling the Boss. But the Boss already had reliable allies by then.
"Apparently it's the real deal. She's been prepping like crazy."
"The quality's way better than I expected, too. You'll be shocked when you hear it."
At some point Eo and Rina had been fully recruited and immediately taken the Boss's side. Even Senior Karen, who'd initially looked ready to tear the Boss's house down, had eventually shifted into a wait-and-see stance.
"Well, I think we should watch the stream Yeonwoo-ssi's been preparing before we decide anything."
That only made the tightness in Nene's chest worse.
And then the stream actually opened—Yeonwoo-ssi's stream... no, Woo Yeonha's.
"...Is that really Yeonwoo-ssi?"
Anyone could tell the voice wasn't an AI voice changer, yet the broadcasting style was pure Yeonwoo-ssi through and through. The kind of stream you'd expect if Yeonwoo-ssi had been a girl and gotten picked as a member.
"...No way."
From that moment Nene started entertaining one impossible possibility. It was completely ridiculous, of course, but what if Yeonwoo-ssi had seen how much money the members were making, made a huge decision, and flown off to Thailand? Or what if the Boss had made some insane corporate decision and done something truly unhinged for the company's sake?
"It... it could happen!"
Using an AI voice changer out of nowhere to debut a perfectly normal male employee as a girl was way less realistic than either of those options. But she had no way to press the issue, so she'd just focused on her own streams—until a familiar voice screamed through the mic.
Kyaaaaaah...!
—Isn't that Yeonha-ssi right there?
A viewer tip that confirmed it beyond any doubt.
"...Huh?"
Putting it all together, she became certain. She finally knew the root cause of this whole mess!
"Common sense says there's no way someone sits alone turning on a voice changer just to play games!!"
What, was he some super netkama or something?! Our Yeonwoo-ssi was not that kind of person!!
"..."
She didn't know why, but the moment she sent those messages her chest felt tight. No—she was annoyed. A little bitterness mixed in too.
"...Ah."
The second she typed that, her reason snapped clean in half.
After unleashing that storm of private messages, she collapsed onto the bed like her body had simply given out and forced down the tears that threatened to spill. A conversation from the past surfaced—the first time she'd met Yeonwoo-ssi.
"Let's get along well, fellow Shy Iseo dogs. Nene-ssi."
"Yes! Let's start an Iseo boom in Star Live for sure! The two of us!"
"Yeonwoo-ssi..."
We said we'd start an Iseo boom in Star Live together...
So where... did you go off to alone...
Ding──!
"..."
The alarm that shattered her reminiscing made her quietly glare at her phone screen.
"...Talk my ass."
Her fingers immediately flew across the keys.
The person she wanted to talk to right now wasn't the Boss...
Crunch...!
The way the Boss spoke about Yeonwoo-ssi like he belonged to him made her unconsciously grind her teeth.
"..."
Her brain started spinning at high speed. She needed something that would catch the Boss off guard.
"Aargh...!"
Swoosh-swoosh──!
The Boss had thoroughly groped every inch of me. From head to toe, there wasn't a single place his hands hadn't reached.
"Du..."
But I couldn't even resist. This whole incident was completely my fault, after all.
"Seriously...! What the hell am I supposed to do with this damn Ttyuttya...!"
"Um..."
I carefully looked up at the Boss, who was still stroking my stomach.
"What? If you've got something to say, say it."
The look that came back warned me that any more nonsense would immediately earn me a full-body second course.
"W-well, maybe we should just be honest with Nene too..."
"What kind of crazy Ttyuttya bitch is this!!"
"Hweeeeh...!"
Swoosh-swoosh-swoosh-swoosh──!
...Second set, added immediately. It felt incredibly unfair.
"Even now! Huh?! Even now Rina and Eo and Karen all coming over already pisses me off enough! What?! Nene? Nene?! Are you trying to make my head explode?!"
"Uwaaaaaah...!"
Knead-knead-knead-knead...
If this kept up my skin was going to wear right off. I-I had to come up with a plan somehow...!
"B-Boss!"
"...What now?"
Even under the warning that more useless talk would mean yet another second set, I forced my nonexistent brain into gear and played my secret trump card.
"M-maybe we could ask Karen for help?!"
The Boss's hands stopped.
"...Keep talking."
"N-Nene follows Karen really well, right?! So if we ask Karen..."
Nemui Nene was a full-on Karen stan. It wasn't an exaggeration to call her a Karen-worshipper. I'd heard that when she joined she said she applied to Star Live because she wanted to be like Karen, and even after debut she shouted out Karen's songs whenever she got the chance.
So if the person herself, Karen, explained things properly...
"Yeah, Nene does follow Karen closely."
"R-right?"
"But it won't work for this particular mess."
"Why not?!"
I'd thought it was the perfect plan!
"Because you're the one tangled up in it."
"?"
"This case is no good for Karen. It'll just make things worse."
What did that even mean...?
"Th-then what do we do?!"
"Haa... Yeah, what are we gonna do?"
Do I really have to bring Nene in too... The Boss muttered something incomprehensible under his breath, then looked at me with a small, resolved expression.
"Yeonha."
"I'm Yeonwoo, though!"
"..."
"...I'll just go with Yeonha..."
The crime I'd committed was so massive I didn't even have the means to resist the forced name change. Hing hing...
"For now, me, Eo, Rina, and even Karen will team up and try to hold Nene back."
"Won't she just call the police right away?"
The kid had looked like her bloodlust was at an all-time high...
"If that doesn't work, then I'll accept Nene as one of us too. Got it?"
"Yes..."
I had zero right of refusal, so I just nodded.
"Alright. I'll take the kids and go meet Nene. Stay quietly at home and wait."
"Have a good trip."
I waved him off like a brand-new bride seeing her husband off to work.
"There's a chance she might bring Nene all the way up to the third floor, so until we've talked, do not leave this room under any circumstances."
"Aye!"
With that, the Boss left my room.
Click──! Clack!
I locked the door exactly as the Boss had ordered, then...
"...Guess I should hit the gallery."
With nothing better to do, I flopped onto the bed for the first time in ages and connected to Sra Gallery. Ten whole hours without logging into Sra Gallery. I must have been out of my mind...
"What's this supposed to be?"
I tapped the concept post that had my name—Woo Yeonha—in it. Me, a lettuce? Why?
"Ah!!"
...It was a sexual harassment post. And the level was pretty damn high. Goddammit.
"I'm gonna lose my mind..."
I'd always felt this way, but our fandom dumps out posts like they're completely immune to lawsuits. I get that the others are VTubers so suing is hard, but...
"I'm Woo Yeonha..."
Anyone could see Woo Yeonha was a real name... What are you going to do if you get sued, you guys...?
"...Whatever."
Company policy was not to sue fans unless things got really extreme, so I was just about to scroll past when—
Knock-knock...!
"Huh?"
Someone was knocking on the door.
"..."
"..."
No—someone was knocking on the window that led out to the terrace.
"...Nene?!"
...It was Nene.
