07. Yoo Harang's Story (feat. Harang): When Did You Reach My Heart?
When did you touch my heart? Comfort and familiarity cast off their masks and began to stir, soon arriving as a pounding heartbeat. Like a midnight guest, slipping in without my knowing.
I've always been numb when it came to expressing emotions. It wasn't just me—it ran in the family. My parents, even my younger brother, were the same.
Joy, anger, sadness, pleasure. I felt the full range of human emotions just like anyone else, but they never showed on my face. Before starting school, the only people I'd known were my family, so as a kid, I thought it was normal. But then I saw friends avoiding me because I seemed unpleasant, boys teasing me for being a robot, and I realized it wasn't.
Girls shunned me as weird and boring, boys mocked me—days like that left scars, even if I never showed it. Despite my blank expression, I hated being alone; I needed people around me. But faking expressions was clumsy for me, and reacting with big outbursts like other kids? Impossible.
So I learned resignation early on. For years, this little heart of mine quietly resented the parents who made me this way. It wasn't until sixth grade that things changed.
"What's your deal? Don't like me? Why the hell's your face like that?"
"……."
"Spit it out if you've got something to say!"
"……Um……."
"Argh, you're so frustrating!! What!!"
I met Yeoreum. A bit rough around the edges, but she expressed her thoughts and feelings without hesitation—her personality was something I envied completely. To someone like me, who was practically a loner every year without real friends, I must've seemed insanely stifled. She grabbed me and wouldn't let go until she got answers, demanding to know what was wrong. It felt forceful, but back then, I was so grateful.
For someone awkward at making faces or showing emotions, with no friends because of it. For Yeoreum, straightforward but too rough for close pals. That became the start. We ended up closer than anyone.
To be precise, I followed her everywhere. She griped that I was stifling, but never left me behind, always listening to the end. That's how we became best friends.
A year later, we started middle school. From the moment I put the same aspiration school as her, I fretted and prayed endlessly. Luckily, we got in together, and I stuck to her side again.
By then, some girls approached, calling my personality and style "unique." Boys, noticing my looks, teased less and showed more goodwill. But I wasn't interested. At Yeoreum's urging, I tried chatting with kids at first. It didn't last—they all got frustrated and pulled away. I'd learned from watching Yeoreum, voicing my thoughts fully, but my natural quietness and blank face were unchangeable.
And in early summer of first-year middle school, I met Gyeol.
Truth be told, I didn't know much about Gyeol before we met. In sixth grade, he went to a different elementary school, and curfews made visits tricky. I'd only heard snippets from Yeoreum.
"He's always tagging along, annoying. Eats my snacks and whines for more. Bugs me for playtime during homework..." She said it like he was a nuisance, but her tone brimmed with affection. Love for her one and only little brother—enough to make even me jealous.
Then one early summer day, peeking shyly from behind Yeoreum to greet me, Gyeol was...
"Hi."
"Oh, h-hi..."
So incredibly cute. I'd never thought that about other kids, but Gyeol was different. Maybe because he was my best friend's brother, or that gentle face echoing Yeoreum yet uniquely his own. Reasons I can't pinpoint now all merged into a desire to get close.
But Gyeol was scared of me. Probably my blank face. It stung, but I didn't give up—I tried. First time in my life I'd worked that hard for a relationship. Yeoreum had come to me; I'd just followed. Others? Never cared to get close.
Every time I saw Gyeol, I did my best. Yeoreum noticed he feared me and started hanging out as a trio more, giving plenty of chances.
"Gyeol, want some?"
I'd offer snacks to the hamster-like flinching boy.
"Kang Gyeol! Hurry up!"
"Don't be so hard on your brother."
Or back Yeoreum up when she fussed over how cute he was.
"Got it?"
"Yeah. Thanks... but aren't you heading to your sister's? It's already 11."
"Staying over."
"Cool."
I'd tutor him at their house often. Not that I hated mine, but watching their bright family made me yearn. So I'd visit more, sleep over when I could. Maybe because it was what my family lacked. I know now it's just our nature, unavoidable.
That's how Gyeol and I grew close, step by step. He warmed to my attention and kindness. I came to see him like my own brother.
Yeah. That's all it was at first. My best friend's little brother, whom I treated like a close sibling.
But when did this change? Little by little.
"Noona!! Seen this drama? Totally your vibe."
"Yeah."
"Oh, as expected~ Next time at my place, wanna watch the next ep with the three of us? My noona digs it too."
"Sure."
Maybe when he started approaching first, before I could combat my loneliness.
"This'd suit you."
"Yeah? Should I try it on?"
"Yeah. I'll buy it for you."
"No, stop buying stuff! Yeoreum noona'll chew me out again!"
"It's fine."
"I'm not fine... Anyway, thanks."
"Okay."
His shy thanks with those gentle eyes when I bought him things—maybe that cuteness.
"Kang Gyeol, you wanna die?"
"Honestly, noona, you own half this... "
"Shut up."
"This is so unfair. Harang noona! Say something!!"
"Hey, Yoo Harang! Don't you dare side with Gyeol again!"
We'd bicker every time we met, but...
"Buying for Gyeol?"
"That dummy bombed his test and spaced out—pisses me off."
"How 'bout this?"
"Nah on black. Surprisingly likes bright colors."
Yeoreum always watched out for him.
"Noona, noona. Got a birthday gift for Strong Summer?"
"Not yet. You?"
"Yeah, but... this."
"Wasn't cheap?"
"Well, after all she's bought me. And he seems stressed lately."
"Yeah. Looks good."
"Right?"
Gyeol tried to read her feelings too. Seeing siblings always caring like that—maybe I wanted to be family with them.
Or...
"How's it?"
"……."
"Gyeol."
"...Huh? Oh! Yeah! Looks amazing! Wow, pretty! As expected, Harang noona!"
"Thanks."
"No need. You're just pre... "
"You two, cut it out and hurry!! Seats'll be gone!!"
"Yeah, yeah!"
"Coming."
Sometimes when I dressed up carefully, his entranced stare, readily calling me pretty when I fished for praise—maybe that thrilled me most.
I couldn't pinpoint it. No single trigger. It was everything. Started as wanting to befriend a cute little brother. Before I knew...
I minded my posture around him. Was it yearning for their family? Years watching his kindness fitting me perfectly? His puppy-like moments? Unclear.
But I wanted his gaze, touch, heart—for me alone.
When I snapped to, I was already in love.
"I don't wanna say shit against you liking him, but hands off till college. Got it?"
"Yeah. Thanks."
"Don't thank me. Anyway, no need to ask Gyeol... obvious he'd like you."
"...Think so?"
"He acts all 'nah,' but it's obvious."
"Yeah..."
"......Argh, seriously, no touching till college! He's a minor!"
"Got it."
I confessed. Not to Gyeol—to Yeoreum. Knowing how much she doted on him, I sought permission first. She seemed a bit miffed, but it'd pass; she feared being sidelined. She loved us both tons.
I'd once worried she'd tire of me in elementary days—now roles reversed. I chuckled inwardly. No need for concern. Even dating Gyeol, I'd never neglect Yeoreum.
Resolved to claim him, but I held back from showing Gyeol. Still minded myself around him, but restrained wanting more closeness, voice, gaze.
It was for Yeoreum's jealousy, sure, but important. Tough sometimes, but I'd endure two more years.
Until days before my first solo apartment...
My resolve shattered.
"That friend's sister? Little sis?"
"Ooh, you remember? Yeah, Seoin. We've hung out before."
"……."
"Kid's a total space cadet, hilarious."
Hearing Gyeol met his friend, the friend's girlfriend, and her little sister.