Our First Kiss
I hurriedly picked up the shopping bags I'd dropped on the floor and chased after Harang nuna, who was walking ahead with a dazed look on her face. None of it made sense yet. She hadn't stopped my kiss attempt earlier because she hated it, but because she didn't want to do it outside? And now she was taking me back to her place? What the hell was going on? What was this? But even as confusion swirled in my head, my heart filled with relief. The momentary weakness drained from my body, replaced by fresh energy. We quietly passed through the officetel entrance and rode the elevator up. Nuna stood a step ahead of me, not showing her face. But I could tell her body was rigid with tension. She was walking so stiffly it was obvious.
Eventually, the elevator stopped, and her slender fingers slowly tapped the passcode panel for her door.
-Beep… beep… beep… beep.
It was agonizingly slow, but I couldn't blame her. I was pretending to analyze her like she was perfectly fine, but honestly, I was in no better shape. Standing at the door to her place—visiting under completely different circumstances than a week ago—my whole body was tense, my breathing shallow.
-Ding!
The door opened, and I followed her inside. At the same time, a dizzying wave of fragrance hit my nose, making my head spin as I slipped off my shoes. Her scent was even stronger than last time. Our matching white sneakers sat side by side in the shoe rack, and I set down the shopping bags next to them. Then I approached her from behind as she stood in the middle of the one-room, head bowed, fingers fidgeting.
Glancing around on the way, I noticed a new bed against one wall that hadn't been there before. Big enough for one person comfortably, a bit snug for two.
-Grab.
I caught her arm, which was still facing away from me. She tried to turn toward the bathroom, avoiding my eyes, stammering in panic.
"I-I need to use the bathroom real quick…"
"Harang nuna."
I didn't let go of her arm. I wouldn't let her run. Calling her name softly, I pulled her toward me with force. Her body yielded easily, her surprised wide eyes coming right up to mine.
Part of me thought maybe I should calm down, but I couldn't hold back. I'd been a little hurt by her rejection outside. Ignoring my trembling, I grabbed both her upper arms like before to keep her from escaping and stepped half a pace closer. We were less than 30cm apart now. In that moment, I took in her long lashes. Her deep eyes. Her perfectly straight nose. Her slightly parted lips—cute yet alluring with their reddish tint. My gaze trailed down slowly, then locked straight onto hers as I leaned in. Inch by inch, gradually.
"Uh… s…."
Her lips pressed together. Her eyes grew hazy. But she didn't close them, didn't blink once, staring straight into mine.
Soon.
-Smack…
My lips covered her soft ones. I couldn't think coldly about the sensation. It was endlessly soft, a little moist, and her scent overwhelmed me more than ever. I had no idea how long this kiss could last. If possible, I wanted to stay like this forever.
"Smack… mwah…"
"Mmm… ngh… mmph…"
Not fully breaking away, I kept our lips touching, moving slightly to continue kissing. And nuna was subtly following my lead, pushing her lips forward.
Her response made me so happy—I wanted this blissful moment to last the whole day—but eventually, I had to pull back.
"Hoo…."
"Haa… ha…."
I'd been so focused I hadn't even breathed. That's when I realized it. And nuna must have been the same; only after I pulled away did she gasp for air. But her eyes lingered regretfully on my lips. Her expression at the broken kiss looked so pitiful, so heartbreaking.
"……."
How could I hold back when she made a face like that? She clearly loved kissing me this much.
-Grab!
I couldn't resist again, pulling her in harder than before and pressing my lips to hers.
-Mwah!
Her body pushed back from the force.
-Thud.
She sat on the bed behind her. Now I kissed her looking down, while she tilted her head up slightly.
"Ngh… smack…"
We kissed again. Her faint moans in between drove me wild with excitement. Not her usual voice, but one laced with lewdness—it was maddening.
"Mmm… Gyeol… ngh… mmph…!"
This kiss wasn't enough anymore. Without realizing, I slipped my tongue in. I'd studied online, but actually doing a deep French kiss hadn't clicked in my head. Nuna naturally allowed the intrusion. As if we'd planned it, her soft tongue welcomed mine, her lips gently enveloping it.
"Mmmph… smack…"
How could I describe the ecstasy of her pretty lips sucking on my tongue? Our clumsy first kiss—tongues tangling, saliva exchanging—transmitted our feelings perfectly. But like an idiot, I'd stopped breathing again, so I pulled away once more to catch my breath.
Finally, it ended.
---
"……."
"……."
The dark one-room fell silent. We sat side by side on the bed, unable to say a word. The kiss had been way more intense than I'd imagined, making it awkward to speak. But even so, nuna sat with her hip pressed right against mine, and I had my arm around her shoulder. It was embarrassing but felt great. Holding her small shoulder was nice, the aftertaste of our kiss lingered, and—though I hesitate to say it—that ample chest pressing against me at the start had been pure bliss.
Anyway. This was insane. Did I really just kiss Harang nuna? The sensation still felt so real, yet it didn't. Like I'd wake up tomorrow and it'd all be a dream.
Of course, those foolish thoughts vanished when she finally broke the silence.
"…Gyeol."
"Yeah."
"Was it… okay?"
"What?"
"The kiss… since it was your first…"
"……."
Her shy, soft words—without even looking at me—were ridiculously cute, blowing away everything. Okay? I should be the one asking. All I remembered was frantically mashing my lips against hers. But admitting that would've been too pathetic. Instead, I turned, pulled her into my arms, and hugged her tight. Thinking about it, we'd kissed before hugging. Now I finally held her soft body properly. Ignoring the even more pronounced chest sensation, I spoke.
"It was great. Amazing. You?"
"Me too… it was good."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Glad…"
What was this? Harang nuna, who anyone would call cool or beautiful before cute, was being this adorable? Seeing her relieved at my words made me crave another kiss, but I held back. Or tried to.
"……."
"……."
If not for the heated gaze she gave me from my embrace.
-Smack!
Without a word, I claimed her lips again in the darkness. Until Yeoreum nuna called late, we kept going.
---
"Be careful going home."
"Got it. You must be tired from walking all day. Rest up. I'm off."
"…Yeah."
Harang nuna saw me off to the front of her building. Her face still looked reluctant despite everything, so I chuckled and pulled her into a hug, patting her back.
"I'll text before bed."
"…I'll wait."
I checked if she wanted one more, but she seemed reluctant outside, like always. There were people passing by anyway. And so our first date ended. Waving goodbye, I boarded the bus, replaying the day with a grin. This was why people dated. I'd acted perfectly for me all day, but that last kiss had been risky. Her body was so soft—I barely restrained myself from groping everywhere. I'd sneakily brushed her thigh pretending to drop my hand, but not sure if she didn't notice or let it slide. The stocking texture was no joke. Whatever, petty details. The date was a massive success. Yeoreum nuna's call interrupted at the end, but staying longer might've led to me pouncing on Harang nuna. In that sense, maybe a blessing.
Shoving aside the regret, I floated home.
"I'm back!"
Greeting cheerfully, I found nuna glaring at me with crossed arms.
"Had fun? Things good with Langi?"
"Yeah, fun and good… you're congratulating me, right…?"
Why ask with arms crossed and that scary look? But she didn't soften, just offered verbal congrats.
"Hah… fine. Date Langi well from now on. Make her sad and you're dead."
"…? Nuna, you're my sister, right? Not blood sisters with Langi nuna?"
"Wanna die now?"
"Sorry… huh?"
Wait. Come to think of it… oh shit.
"What? Something wrong?"
"……."
"Spit it out!"
"Well, I think I'm dating Langi nuna…"
"But."
"I forgot to confess…"
"…Are you insane?"
Tell me about it. What a moron. Kissed like crazy but skipped the actual confession.
-----
This wasn't the plan. I saw Gyeol as a man, sure, but as his nuna, as the older one, I meant to lead him. Reach out first, take the lead, make him feel comfortable by my side. Like Yeoreum's advice, like all those stories online—use the appeal of an older woman to make his heart race.
But it was me who got led. Despite being younger, he reached out first. Took the lead. Made me feel comfortable. My heart pounded so hard it felt like it'd shatter. I couldn't remember my usual self amid the haze.
In the end.
His back as he walked ahead smiling.
Always following Yeoreum confidently, pulling along someone like me who sucked at decisions.
His slightly forceful care for my body.
His warm embrace, that melting kiss.
It shattered.
My heart.
And unknowingly, the line I'd drawn in my heart.
The limit.