Not Outside...
Outside... no way. What could I even say here? I had no idea, so I decided to just stay quiet. Gazing at my sister's slightly flushed face, meeting her tender, affectionate eyes.
Squeeze! I gripped her hand even tighter. But carefully, adjusting the pressure by watching her expression so it wouldn't hurt.
"……."
And what I noticed was that the harder I squeezed, the happier she looked. I was putting in enough force that I worried her hand might shatter, yet the corner of her mouth curved up just a bit. In the darkness of the theater, illuminated only by the screen's glow, I couldn't tear my eyes away from her. No words passed between us—our intertwined hands and locked gazes were the only connection—but it felt like we were endlessly exchanging thoughts, feelings, hearts.
I barely saw the second half of the movie. When it ended, Harang and I hurried out of the theater. I'd planned to switch hands once we were out, but seeing how tightly she was gripping mine too, that idea vanished. I didn't want to let go even for a second. I just wanted to keep savoring that softness, that warmth. Even if my palm was getting a little sweaty.
"Wanna wander around the mall a bit? Anything you need to buy, sis?"
"Nah, nothing. But... yeah. Let's walk around."
"Cool, let's start from the first floor and work our way up. Food when we get hungry."
"Okay."
As we entered the mall next to the theater, we chatted casually like nothing was up, but we both knew that was a lie. Our hands, hot and sweaty from the grip, proved it. I subtly took the lead, feeling a huge wave of relief. We were both single-forever types, but a guy being one felt different from a girl. Especially since she was older. I'd worried I'd freeze up and she'd end up dragging me around, but thankfully, no sign of that. Surprisingly strong in the moment, I stayed calmer than expected, while the supposedly steadfast Harang seemed way more shy. Hard to tell from her subtle expressions, but with my PhD in Harang Studies, I could see it. She was stiffer than ever—not out of dislike, but because every time I made a move, she didn't know how to react.
"Come to think of it, your feet okay, sis? Heels hurt like hell, right?"
"They're fine."
"Hmm... just say if they hurt or not."
"Not really."
"They hurt. Wanna get sneakers? You eyed some earlier."
"I said they're fine."
"I've seen your feet look pretty in heels plenty. Let's switch. I'm worried."
"……."
Passing a shoe store, her high heels came to mind, so I started persuading. I was a bit surprised at myself casually calling them pretty, and my heart ached seeing her ears flush again. Realizing what I'd said, embarrassment hit late, so I hurriedly added,
"I mean, we could match shoes or... "
Just as I was about to say let's try matching, Seobin's advice flashed back.
It crossed my mind, pausing me briefly, but I figured this was okay. Not blatant, and I had the excuse of worrying about her feet.
"Let's match shoes, like a set. What do you think?"
I couldn't quite say "as a couple" yet. Different from this, but that waited for a full confession. Harang's eyes sparkled at the idea of matching, nodding eagerly.
"Then I'll buy 'em. Pick some."
"Let's split... And sneakers are those ones you were debating before."
But seriously, we needed to talk about this later. Her "I'll buy it for you" macro was too much.
We'd already decided what to get, but we browsed anyway before buying matching crisp white sneakers. Bags for the old ones, new kicks on, out we went. It started as worry for her feet, but matching couple items felt so fulfilling. She wiggled her feet alone, looking pretty pleased. I loved the sneakers, but watching her slip off the heels, stocking-clad foot emerging... whoa. I got stocking fetish now. Had to fight the urge to touch. Plus, white sneakers didn't perfectly match her outfit, but she liked 'em, so whatever. Pretty to me anyway.
"Let's eat before heading up more. Lots of food spots on the second floor."
"Anything you want? I'll buy... "
"Sis. No more 'I'll buy it' from now on."
"...Why."
"Even compromising a hundred times, not saying I pay all, but it's a date—I wanna share the load."
"……."
"Got it? You got the shoes in the end, so dinner's on me. Lumine? You love their pasta."
"...Yeah. Sounds good."
And today, I learned something new about Harang after seven years. Before, she never fussed over treating me, and wanting to be the nice little bro, I'd just go along. Her default blank face and flat voice made it hard to push anyway. But surprisingly, a firm push from me got easy nods. Logical talk helped, but clearly, she preferred being led over leading. We'd gone my way alone before, but that was suggestions, agreements—not leading. She'd always ask first what I wanted to eat or buy, so I'd slip in answers casually. Thought she just doted, prioritizing my wants, but nope—her nature. Leading as her boyfriend-to-be was the way, and weirdly fun.
"Aglio e olio for you, right? With margherita pizza and ricotta salad to share."
"Sure."
"Drinks?"
"Green grape ade. You?"
"Zero cola... Do they have zero? Regular cola otherwise."
Her mature vibe and grown-up look always made her seem bigger, but her quietly following? Thrilling. Not wanting to suppress her harshly, though. Pushed around by Yeoreum since kid days, no leading habit—now with Harang, hidden traits emerged. Proposing and guiding felt easy. She wasn't passive either—spoke up when needed. Tension from hand-holding eased; we found balance. Fresh couple nerves mixed with comfy sis-bro ease.
"Tastes great, huh? They nail it. Pasta spot for sure."
"Yeah."
Mid-meal, wanted to feed her "ahh~", but too soon.
Post-meal, more mall wandering. More browsing than buying. I carried two bags including hers—more would be a hassle. Shoes done, clothes next; light tussle as she tried buying me some. Saw her eyes linger on mannequin couple hoodies. Wanted to grab 'em now, but bags heavier, and no swapping her cute outfit for hoodies today. Couple looks after official. Naturally interlocked fingers as we strolled, passed pet shop with critters in cages.
"Whoa, they sell everything here."
"Bunny..."
"Like the bunny?"
"Yeah."
Poor things caged for sale, stressed probably, but cute. No urge to own—can't commit. As I scanned, she fixated on one snow-white bunny. Bunnies die lonely; kinda like her. Won't die, but hates being alone. Her bunny trance stretched time; shopkeep let us pet. Post-shop, aimless gadgets, cosmetics, then rooftop mini-park. Bench breeze, then out.
"What now..."
Longer than thought at theater and mall. 2-3 hours post-meal browsing. Next spot tricky—she hates crowds. Usual date spots downtown? Nah. Just holding hands happy for me.
"Sis, cafe? Sat a bit, but talked less. Evening food later or home."
"Sure."
Easy yes. Sneakers helped, rooftop rest too, but hours walking—she'd be tired. Still, too agreeable. Felt like even big asks would get hesitant yeses.
...Bad thoughts, stop!
Today's date was routine stuff we'd done before. Even with Yeoreum, we'd hit most nearby spots. Tons of movies, dragged reluctant Harang to quirky cafes, endless walks. Hard to fancy up the course, but new relationship spark mattered. Like now. Cafe chit-chat avoiding deep stuff, early dinner bagels shared. Dusk falling, hand-in-hand homeward.
"Just to the stop..."
"I'll walk you home. No refusing."
"...Thanks."
"No prob."
Could've stretched, but perfect cut-off now. Bittersweet. Offered escort; fake protest, accepted. Walking, heart pounded like first meet. Confession time—planned from start. Better end-of-date than midway awkward.
"……."
"……."
Silence. Bus on, off at stop, short walk to her officetel. Steps slowed. Her missing him? Me, must-do before she entered. Few people, good streetlights—nice mood.
Whoosh— Big exhale, stopped under lamp pre-building. No "why?", she turned expectantly. Sensed it. Knew what I'd say. So I...
"Sis..."
Calling to confess. Mind mess, no script—just heart. But up-close, her gazing patiently, red lips... desire surged.
Thud! Instinct took over. Released hand, dropped bags, grabbed shoulders. Dumb, but prepped mini-toothbrush set—just in case. Brushed post-snacks. Prep paid off. Kiss-then-confess? Sound advice. Nearing her face...
"Hic..."
She got it, gulped, shaky eyes on me. No rejection vibe. So I closed in. Vision: her pretty face, small lips. Noses nearly touching—
Slap! Her hand shot up, covering my mouth. Heart dropped. Thought okay... rejected. Despair sapped strength. Head low, trembling voice:
"Outside... no."
"...Huh?"
Wait. Not outside means...
"...Let's go home...."