Chapter 37. IF) Retribution
The kiss with the girl who liked me had been intoxicatingly addictive, but even so, I wanted to relegate it to a fleeting memory for the time being. I simply wasn't ready to accept anyone's feelings yet. At most, I'd indulged her request just to temper her persistence. Besides, there was already another girl I'd long had my eye on, so I needed to prioritize deciding what to do about her relationship with me first.
That was the plan—set up a chance to talk with her. But before I could…
"I have something to say. Follow me."
Her sharp voice cut through the classroom air as she approached me, sending an inexplicable wave of tension crashing over me. Sure, she often showed her prickly side, but that was always born from her inability to be honest.
"This is sudden. What's wrong?"
"Shut up and come."
But the gaze she fixed on me now brimmed with icy venom, matched by her harsh tone. The class stirred uneasily, leaving me no choice but to stand, apologize to the others, and follow.
"…I'll be right back."
Something was terribly off. Guessing at it, I trailed her silently until we reached the rooftop. Mary turned her back to me, holding a heavy silence that grew more suffocating by the second. An instinctual pressure, different from anything before, bore down on me.
"Mary, what did you need—"
"You."
I barely managed to speak when she cut in, still refusing to meet my eyes. She got straight to the point.
"What's your deal with her?"
"Her?"
"Don't play dumb. You know who."
No explanation needed. It was someone we both knew all too well—and recently, only one person fit that bill as far as I knew.
"You mean Soeun?"
"Yeah~ That pathetic little tramp you dragged in because you pitied her being all alone."
Pathetic little tramp? Coarse words I could never imagine from her lips left me stunned.
"That's too harsh. She's…"
"Harsh? Who? Me?"
She scoffed, shaking her head. Her words dripped with the elite's smug superiority.
"You think I'd ever look kindly on trash like her? Some penniless commoner whose only talent is good grades, trying to measure up to me? I only ate with her because you begged me to be nice. You didn't seriously think I kept her around because I actually liked her, did you?"
No. You're not that kind of girl. She might've been arrogant as a kid, but living with me had stripped that away. Even if she said it, it'd just be to hide her true feelings…
So why did her words sting like thorns now?
"And yet you go off doing that behind my back like it's nothing…"
That line revealed it all, and suddenly every reaction made sense. She'd seen everything. Yesterday after class, in the classroom.
"Mary."
My heart pounded wildly the moment it hit me. I'd thought I understood her—understood the love she'd harbored for ten years. But now…
I couldn't claim to grasp all of her anymore. I couldn't fathom how my reckless choice, that brief comfort I'd meant for the other girl, would land on her.
"Calm down and hear me out. It wasn't what you think—"
"Not what I think? Then what was sucking face supposed to mean!?"
"Mary, listen—"
"Shut up! Close that mouth! I don't want to hear you defending her. Just answer my questions!"
She shredded my words without mercy, finally turning to face me. Her features were more wretched than I'd ever seen, her voice laced with a hatred I'd never heard from her before.
"Tell me—what's she to you?"
One glimpse had spiraled into filthy delusions in her mind.
"What have you been doing with her behind my back? Did you seriously roll in the sheets after just a month?"
"Mary…"
"Oh, right. That's just who you are. Any girl who throws herself at you is fine, huh? I misjudged you bad. All those years pretending to be pure and modest in front of me, but screwing around behind my back. Bet you've got more than two hands' worth of girls you've spun, right? She's not even your first. Admit it! Am I wrong!?"
Now it was pure exaggeration. But I couldn't correct her rashly. Anything I said would sound like a lie to her now.
"To me."
To a girl who felt her love rejected, no words of mine could comfort her.
"You've never once shown me anything like that…"
Grief she couldn't hide behind anger burst forth. She was that disappointed, that convinced I'd stolen her pure heart.
"What am I to you? What the hell am I? Why are you so strict only with me? We've known each other ten years—you could've had some special feelings by now. But you let her, after just one month? What am I to you—a nuisance? Be honest. Not a single speck of feeling in that heart of yours?"
"No, I…"
"Then say it! Say it right now! Say you like me, not her!!"
My throat tightened. I knew I should speak, but I couldn't utter what she wanted.
"You have to like me!! I've known you longest—it's only right you feel that way about me!!!"
Just one word—"I like you"—refused to come. Simple reason: I wasn't ready to like anyone yet. Not the girl who'd pursued me boldly, nor this one who'd nurtured her feelings for a decade.
"…Nothing to say."
Time marched cruelly on. She'd already lost the will to wait.
"Figures. Even with all my hints, you stonewall me. Guess I really mean nothing to you."
"Wait, I…"
"Forget it. If that's how you are, I'll do what I want."
She turned and stormed off without a backward glance. I couldn't chase her, my hands dangling limply before clenching into fists. I swallowed the turmoil, hugged my unsettled heart, and returned to class.
"Hey, full bust buddy~ Good date?"
"Sorry, not in the mood."
My head throbbed. I'd failed to say what I should have, hurting her in my hesitation.
"What's up with Full Bust suddenly?"
"Did she dump him?"
"Makes sense. Getting rejected by the school's top chaebol beauty would piss anyone off."
Dumped? If only. That way, only I'd hurt, and she wouldn't.
…I had no idea how to console a girl whose time with me I'd already denied. I sank my mind into numb depths, hoping everything would end when I woke.
But waking changed nothing. Memories stayed vivid, chest heavy. Small mercy: no one around to bother me in this mood.
"Class… over already…"
Slept forever. No one woke me—realization of my zero popularity.
"She go home too?"
Her empty seat felt lonelier than ever. I grabbed my bag, preparing to leave late, and sorted my thoughts belatedly. How to comfort the girl I'd hurt so carelessly. How to steer my newly awakened heart.
"Tomorrow. We'll talk properly."
Yes, tomorrow. Face her, talk it out—everything would sort itself.
Thud!
But as I left campus, a explosion from the side. Something splattered my face, breath catching reflexively. Something hit the ground. Splatter from it stained me. Red, sticky liquid reeking of rusted iron…
Drip.
It spread from the impact, fouling the pavement. Eyes turned, drawn to the scene.
"Kyaaah!"
Screams erupted. A disaster unfit for a youthful school.
"S-someone fell from up top!"
"Oh god, look at the blood."
"Head okay? Not moving at all."
"Get a teacher!"
Chaos exploded. Spurred by the uproar, I finally moved, turning to see her on the concrete—shattered skull, vivid blood, familiar face lifeless.
"Soeun…?"
Yes, the girl beside me just hours ago. Why? How was she here like this? Conclusion: fallen from the building. Wrinkled clothes everywhere screamed struggle—not suicide, assault.
A perpetrator. Maybe still up top.
"No."
But dashing toward it, fear flooded me. Praying it wasn't so. Praying the scene in my head wasn't real.
"No way…"
Reality forced the truth. Steps unrelenting led to the rooftop. There, alone, stood the culprit—twintailed girl staring endlessly at the bloody scene below.
"Ah, aaah… No, I didn't mean to…"
Her gasp dragged on; she staggered back from the edge. Her eyes met mine— the one person she least wanted to see here.
The girl caught by the one she most didn't want witnessing this.
"N-no…"
"Why you, of all people, here…"
Despair spilled unconsciously. Seeing her feet move toward the railing, I bolted forward, guilt surging.
"Aah, no! Don't look, please—I hate this, this! Ah, aaaaaaah!!"
Yes. This too was karma for ignoring that girl's heart. I'd realized it now.