Monster Rookie of the Variety Scene (2)
Ruina Bell gazed at the crimson sunrise rising beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows of her apartment.
“Oh my god! The sun is rising for me again today!”
Her blue eyes sparkled. She stretched both arms high above her head and began spinning in place, launching into her morning exercises.
“The sun is cheering me on, and everything in the world is breathing so beautifully!”
With her arms still thrust upward, Ruina Bell shouted.
“So I, Ruina Bell, will love this world with every ounce of my being today as well! Pasha!”
It was only natural for the sun to rise toward her. The entire world revolved around her, after all.
Ruina Bell wished for everyone to love her, and in her mind, everyone did.
Only inside Ruina Bell’s head, of course!
“Oji 1 Night! Anchovy sauce? Ice-water dive? DON’T worry! I, Ruina Bell, will overcome everything with love!”
It was the early morning of the Oji 1 Night filming day. I could have easily made my own way to the broadcasting station, but Han So-yeon noona had declared, ‘An actor from a company going alone? Absolutely not!’ and insisted on driving me. So I had arrived at her office before dawn.
Leaving from the office does make me feel like a proper actor.
Even if it was technically the Samryong Mart office.
As I nodded with quiet satisfaction, Han So-yeon noona was stomping her feet in front of me.
“Doyun! Won’t we be late?! Shouldn’t we leave right now?”
“It’s fine… We still have three whole hours.”
My reassurance only made her stomp harder.
“Are you really sure it’s okay to go like this?! It’s Oji 1 Night!”
“It’s fine, noona.”
“But you said you don’t need any outfits at all… Oh, that’s right! Makeup! Should we stop by a makeup shop?”
“Haha…”
Ever since I’d told her about my appearance on the show, Han So-yeon noona had been a bundle of restless energy. The sudden news of a major variety program seemed to have short-circuited her brain.
Seeing her like this actually helps me stay calm.
I placed my hands on her shoulders.
“Calm down.”
“Oh… right. Yeah.”
Han So-yeon took a deep breath.
“Noona, you’ve watched Oji 1 Night before, right?”
“Of course.”
“Think about it. Whenever you see actors showing up with full makeup, what do you think?”
“It looks awkward?”
I nodded at her answer.
“Exactly. If I show up with full shop makeup, I’ll probably get bad impressions from the very first scene.”
“That’s true. It really is.”
Han So-yeon noona crossed her arms, looking troubled.
“Still… this is our Samryong’s top star’s first variety show. And it’s Oji 1 Night! I want to do something special for you.”
“Haha… Top star has a nice ring to it.”
When she folded her arms, the pressure on her chest was… considerable. My eyes instinctively tried to drift downward.
Control yourself!
I looked away and answered her.
“Ahem… Just sunscreen will be enough. We need to keep the authentic wilderness experience.”
“If that’s what you want, Doyun…”
Han So-yeon noona puffed out her cheeks in disappointment. The sight made me smile without meaning to.
Was there any other agency like this?
Having someone who truly worried about me was more reassuring than any amount of support or resources.
We arrived at the assembly point in front of the broadcasting station.
The guest members would gather here before riding the station van to some unknown mountain valley where the regular Oji 1 Night cast was waiting.
That was the concept of the show.
Looking around, I seemed to be the first to arrive.
Well, I did come forty minutes early.
I’d beaten even the staff here.
I glanced back at noona’s car parked on the road in front of the station lobby, emergency lights flashing.
…It really was something else. In a completely different way, it drew every eye.
Among the sleek black luxury vans carrying celebrities, a bold blue one-ton Porter sat proudly parked.
Impressive.
We had originally planned to take noona’s yellow sports car with the horse decal, but that would have been far too conspicuous. So this was the vehicle we’d chosen instead.
Samryong Food Ingredients! Freshest First! Wholesale Welcome!
Noona gripped the gear stick with one hand and executed a perfect parking job with truly artistic flair.
As I stood admiring the sight, she must have felt my gaze. She poked her head out the window.
“Doyunaaaa! Don’t get nervous and do your best! Noona will be watching over youuuu!”
Her overprotectiveness was on another level. I smiled.
Still, this time I wanted to accept her kindness with pure gratitude.
I’ll roll around in the dirt with everything I have and make sure I don’t tarnish Samryong’s name!
I was waving awkwardly toward the road when a familiar voice called from behind me.
“Kim Doyun?”
“Kim Chan-uk?”
Why was he here? Don’t tell me this guy was also a guest on Oji 1 Night.
Come to think of it, wasn’t he an idol? He was probably here for a KBC stage performance.
That didn’t add up! Standing in this exact spot, anyone would assume he was invited as a guest for the show!
I rubbed my forehead.
“Looks like we’re working together again.”
Kim Chan-uk answered with a slightly wounded expression.
“What…! I’m the one who should be saying that!”
This bastard. Had he already forgotten how rude he’d been to me before? Getting hurt over something this small?
Still, he looked strangely pitiful.
This must have been around the time he was being ostracized in his group.
I let out a small sigh.
“Anyway… thanks for the tofu.”
“I really just ate it because it tasted good.”
“Oh, so that’s how it was? Well, whatever. Let’s both do well today.”
When I offered a handshake, Kim Chan-uk pointed at me and said,
“Don’t misunderstand. I still haven’t properly acknowledged you. In this variety show, I’ll prove that I haven’t lost to you yet.”
…What kind of concept was this now? Was he trying to pull off a tsundere act?
I smiled at his words.
Besides, an idol like you thinks he can endure more than me? I’ve already mentally prepared myself for mud jumps, chugging anchovy sauce, and diving into ice water…!
“What’s with that expression…”
“The face of a general who has finished his preparations, and the face that says there’s no way I’ll lose to you.”
Kim Chan-uk sneered.
“To say something like that while already making rookie mistakes.”
“Mistakes?”
He pointed toward Han So-yeon.
“I don’t know which company that is, but a rookie entertainer being linked to a beautiful woman like that is scandal material in itself. Consider it advice from a senior.”
Kim Chan-uk looked triumphant, as if he’d scored a point. His words caused a brief mental short-circuit before I understood.
Ah, he was talking about Han So-yeon noona.
“She’s the CEO of my agency.”
Kim Chan-uk’s eyes widened in shock.
“What? That person?”
He kept glancing back and forth between me and noona.
Well, even I had trouble believing her appearance sometimes. Kim Chan-uk asked again, incredulous.
“Then that flashy van is the agency vehicle…”
Since noona was waving, the Porter really did look like a luxury van.
But it was unmistakably—
“It’s a Porter.”
“What nonsense—!!”
Kim Chan-uk, looking completely lost, finally shouted as realization hit him.
“It’s a Porter! But you said she’s the agency CEO…”
“Samryong Food Ingredients. A very established name in wholesale distribution.”
“….”
His brain seemed to have given up. Kim Chan-uk stared at me with an expression that said he’d stopped trying to process it.
“I… see.”
That was when a bouncy voice that sounded like it had an incomplete Korean patch cut in.
“Stop! It’s not good for the puppy and the monkey to be on bad terms already!”
No, that’s “fighting like cats and dogs.” As I turned around with that thought, I froze.
What the…
I couldn’t look away.
Long golden hair catching the sunlight, enormous blue eyes like a doll’s, an innocent smile. It wasn’t just her appearance.
It was an aura that instinctively demanded attention. The kind of innate talent that couldn’t be ignored.
“Is this the waiting area for Oji 1 Night?”
Ruina Bell greeted us energetically, then looked at me and Kim Chan-uk, wagging her index finger.
“You two, why are you staring at each other like you want to eat one another alive first thing in the morning? The old saying goes you can’t spit on a smiling face. Smile! Smile!”
…Wait, isn’t it that you can’t spit on a smiling face? Spitting on an angry one would just get you grabbed by the collar.
When I stared at her, Ruina Bell widened her eyes at me.
“Wait! Aren’t you Tofu MAN?!”
“Pardon?”
“I saw it! That legendary clip of you crying while eating tofu! But in person you don’t look pitiful at all?”
Her bright smile contained zero malice.
Still, who gave her permission to call me Tofu MAN?
Even Kim Chan-uk was slowly backing away from Ruina Bell’s insane energy level.
“Haha… Thank you for recognizing me.”
My head was already starting to ache. Spending two days and one night in the mountains with this member… was this really going to be okay?
As I thought that, Ruina Bell placed one hand over her heart and stretched the other toward the sky, laughing brightly as if she understood my feelings perfectly.
“Oh dear, has another one fallen for me? It’s all right. I forgive you. I am Ruina Bell, loved by everyone. I’m Ruina Bell, whom everyone adores!”
Isn’t this full-blown delusion?
Kang Jae-dong, the main host of Oji 1 Night and national MC, maintained his hearty smile on the bustling set while feeling uneasy inside.
Originally a non-celebrity, he had risen to the top of the brutal broadcasting industry through ridiculous diligence and unmatched quick thinking.
“Jae-dong hyung, what are you thinking so hard about?”
The original members—clumsy Seung-woo and cheeky Geun-seok—approached him.
“It’s nothing. Just picturing how today’s filming might go.”
“It’s because of the guests, isn’t it?”
At Seung-woo’s accurate observation, Kang Jae-dong smacked his lips bitterly.
Oji 1 Night was a program built on raw wilderness survival. Yet at some point, glamorous actors and idols had begun appearing as guests purely for promotion.
Actresses who hated having their makeup ruined, idols who frowned at the mere thought of getting dirt on them.
Kang Jae-dong was sick of coaxing such pretentious celebrities through the broadcast.
Prankster Geun-seok laughed with his hands clasped behind his back.
“Two idols and one actor. Today’s going to be rough! Every single one of them probably hates getting dirty.”
Although PD Kang Min-ju had personally chosen the lineup, Kang Jae-dong’s thoughts weren’t far from Geun-seok’s.
“Still, hyung. These kids don’t seem like total snobs. That idol Kim Chan-uk seems pretty down-to-earth, and that Bell girl… she’s… well…”
Geun-seok gave up trying to describe Ruina Bell and pointed toward a cluster of staff instead.
“Especially that guy.”
When Kang Jae-dong looked over, an unfamiliar face was already hard at work before filming even started—carrying the staff’s heavy ice boxes by himself without a coordinator or manager in sight.
“That rookie actor, right? He was bowing to every staff member and acting really polite.”
Kang Jae-dong nodded indifferently, arms still crossed.
“We’ll see when it airs.”
He had seen plenty of people acting nice and manufacturing images before the cameras started rolling.
True character only revealed itself after getting your face shoved in the mud, drinking anchovy sauce, and diving into ice water.