Crossing the Wall (3)
……
Even on the way back to the dormitory, Ilsea kept fretting at his throbbing shoulder, kneading it over and over.
Sensing his discomfort, Lonari apologized again and again in a voice that barely rose above a whisper.
"Sorry…"
"Forget it. It's my own fault for having a trust score that scrapes the bottom."
"Mm…"
Even so, something still sat heavy on Lonari's mind, and she kept stealing glances at him.
Thankfully, Ruda had said the Academy itself bore some of the management responsibility and wouldn't punish them for it…
But that didn't mean what had already happened simply vanished.
And she had been so stubborn about it, too.
She wasn't a child anymore. Acting that spoiled with someone — clinging to them like that — felt like something she hadn't done in a very long time.
"But… so, Vel's really okay, right? Nothing bad's going to happen…?"
"…Yeah. It's not like she joined some shady club. She just has to hang around with Adelia a bit."
Ilsea said it, but something about his expression still looked unsettled.
It didn't seem like he was lying, at least…
"Well, that's a relief, then…"
They had nearly reached the dormitory. Lonari expected him to head straight inside, but instead Ilsea veered toward the outdoor washbasins nearby.
"Where are you going?"
"I can't walk in looking like this."
He pointed downward.
His pants and shoes were a complete disaster, needless to say.
Come to think of it, Lonari herself seemed to be giving off some unpleasant smell.
And she hadn't even gotten a drop of water on her. How much worse must Ilsea be?
The fact that she had been riding on his back suddenly made her burn with embarrassment all over again.
"Still, you could just use the bathroom…"
"If I wait for you to finish, it'll take all day. Just go on up first."
"…"
Lonari puffed out her cheeks a little.
She knew. She knew it wasn't a complaint.
The whole conversation had been premised on the fact that she would use the bathroom first.
Even so — the way he fretted over every last detail on her behalf was somehow… irritating?
"Then should I go up and bring you a towel… or a change of clothes, at least?"
"You want me to change out here?"
"That's not what I meant…!"
"I know. Just bring me a towel. Thanks."
Lonari's cheeks puffed out even further.
But this time it wasn't irritation so much as mild surprise.
That just now — he'd been teasing her outright, hadn't he?
Since when did Ilsea know how to make jokes like that?
He seemed to do it with Vel sometimes…
After delivering the towel to Ilsea, Lonari went back up to their room.
To avoid a repeat of last time's mistake, she first gathered a change of clothes from her room, then…
She stripped, stepped into the bathroom, and turned the shower faucet.
Warm water cascaded down, soaking her through.
Standing under the spray, she thought of Ilsea.
Back in those sewers, he had said:
……Do you think saying sorry for everything is enough to make it all go away?
Maybe it was only her imagination, but she felt as though she had glimpsed a fragment of his true feelings in those words.
It had been so long since Ilsea had spoken like that.
This year, he seemed determined to keep his distance from everything.
Because of that, he hardly ever fought anymore, and he rarely caused any real trouble…
But he also never let his real self show.
That must have been his own way of being considerate toward the world.
Sincerity — truth — was always heavy.
And it became a burden for anyone you tried to share it with.
But Lonari believed that someone who refused to carry that weight together could never form a deep relationship.
That was probably why his constant retreat had felt so frustrating.
Still… this time…
Maybe she had managed to catch hold of that slightly opened heart of his.
Lonari shut off the shower and began filling the bathtub.
She wasn't planning to use it herself.
…She still had some sense of shame, after all.
There was someone outside in the cold weather, rinsing his clothes and body with freezing water.
While she waited for the tub to fill, she finished washing herself, then stepped out of the bathroom.
Once she had changed and come out, she found Ilsea sitting on the living room sofa.
Strange. He must have heard her moving around, yet he didn't react at all.
"I'm done."
Even after she said that, he gave no answer.
"…?"
Coming around in front of the sofa, she found him asleep.
Even from two steps away, she could hear the soft sound of his breathing.
"Oh…"
She had heard him sleeping before, but seeing it with her own eyes was a first — and somehow that made it feel entirely new.
Forgetting entirely to wake him, Lonari studied his face from every angle, then plopped down right beside him.
She even poked his cheek a few times.
"…Still not waking up."
A peculiar curiosity stirred in her.
Lonari leaned her body ever so slightly toward him.
A little… no, a little more…
And when at last her shoulder touched his arm, she felt a firm resistance behind the solid muscle.
"Mm…"
"!"
She flinched — but Ilsea still didn't wake.
…There was something almost wicked about this.
Then again, Velica always seemed to go at least this far.
Maybe I can try it once, too? The thought rose unbidden.
Leaning against him, Lonari looked up at his face.
That sharp jawline. The clean lines of muscle along his neck.
The collarbone visible through the open collar of his shirt.
…Maybe just a little touch.
No, no. That's definitely too dangerous…
If she got caught doing that, she'd have no defense against being branded a total pervert.
But wasn't her current position already dangerous if she got caught?
Thinking about it that way, it almost seemed like nothing she did from here on would make a difference.
By any normal standard of reasoning, she should have stopped right then…
But Lonari was already well past normal.
She traced the tip of her finger gently along the line of his jaw.
Until early last year, girls had been falling over themselves trying to get their hands on him.
If he dressed up a little this year, it would probably help his reputation…
No… wouldn't that actually be more dangerous? More competition.
Right… maybe it was better if only Lonari knew what he was really like.
Vel already knew, so that couldn't be helped.
Because this guy — he was just too kind.
Pretending not to care while fretting over everything.
Today he'd held her… carried her on his back, even…
If she started counting from the beginning, there really was no end to it.
"I thought you were a bad guy… so why are you so gentle?"
Resting her chin on his shoulder, Lonari asked the question.
It was fine. He couldn't hear her anyway.
"…Are you like this with other girls, too?"
Surely not… but if, by some chance, he was — that would be a little devastating.
Honestly, how was anyone supposed to resist someone who acted like this?
If he treated everyone the same way, then this guy was just a player.
"You little…"
She wanted to pinch him, but decided to hold back for now.
It wasn't some great feat of self-control — she just didn't want him waking up yet. That would be a waste.
If she played her cards right, she might get to mess with him all night.
So even though she was still a little annoyed…
Well, nothing for it.
He probably didn't act the same way with other girls, so she would forgive him…
…She was about to, when an exception sprang to mind.
The Velica exception…
Hmmm…
What was she supposed to do about that…
Lonari sank into deep contemplation.
As someone who knew what those two were to each other, she couldn't exactly step in and declare it off-limits.
But just leaving it alone felt… something…
Ugghhh……
Thinking about it realistically, some kind of compromise was the only option.
Right, if it was Vel… well…
Ilsea himself had said last time that they were like siblings.
Though honestly, that distance seemed a little too close for siblings…
…Ah, whatever. She didn't know.
If Vel was the problem, then she just had to go further than Vel ever had!
And with that slightly unhinged conclusion, Lonari made up her mind.
She laid her hand over Ilsea's where it rested on the sofa.
Then she slipped her fingers between his.
Lonari was already well past the point of sanity, but this time her face burned hot all the same.
Because she remembered doing the exact same thing before.
Back then she had been so flustered herself that she hadn't even had time to register the sensation.
But now, she could take her time.
Heh…
Lonari squeezed his hand tightly and focused on the feeling of it.
Calluses and scattered scars, and the unruly swell of muscle beneath.
It was so very Ilsea — and yet, at a glance, his fingers were long and well-proportioned, hinting at a past when they might once have been elegant and refined.
Earlier, when Ilsea had held her as they fell, this hand had touched the nape of her neck.
That was probably the first time he had ever touched her of his own accord.
Assigning meaning to every little first like this might have been a bit much…
But what could she do? Remembering each first one by one had already become a habit.
As she continued to toy with his hand, a thought suddenly struck her.
…I wish this hand would touch me somewhere else, too.
It took only a few seconds for that wish to become action.
Lonari lifted his hand and pressed it against her own cheek.
That alone excited her so much she worried her brain might melt outright.
With her face nestled in his palm, she looked up at him again.
He was still sound asleep — so deeply that nothing short of a catastrophe seemed likely to wake him.
Even if she went further than this.
But then —
The common sense that had briefly stepped out for a walk returned without warning.
With a speed that was somehow both slow and fast, she set Ilsea's hand carefully back on the sofa.
Then she rose cautiously, went into her room… and came back out again.
A blanket in her hands.
"You might think you've got a monopoly on being thoughtful, but I'll show you that's not true. Heh…"
Lonari draped the blanket over him and grinned.
"Go on — try drowning in Lady Lonari's kindness for once."
And with that, she hurried straight back to her room.
If she kept looking at his face any longer, she was afraid of what else she might do.
Sunlight filtering through my eyelids stirred me awake, and I cracked my eyes open with a drowsy blink.
When had I fallen asleep?
Yesterday's events had left me exhausted, sure — but being in my own room must have let my guard drop completely. I'd been dead to the world.
"…"
As I sat up, the blanket covering me slid off in a soft rustle.
I wondered what that was about, but in a room with only two residents, there wasn't exactly a long list of suspects.
I glanced toward Lonari's door.
Knock knock.
I went over and rapped on it, but no sound came from inside.
Out somewhere already, first thing on a Saturday morning.
I folded the blanket, draped it over the sofa, and headed for the bathroom.
Outside the bathroom door, though, I found the clothes I'd washed and hung out last night — dry now, and folded into neat, precise squares.
"…?"
Again, the culprit was obvious.
I supposed I ought to thank her later.
I scratched at my head — which didn't even itch — and stepped into the bathroom.
I planned to head out for work early today.
I hadn't managed any last night, after all.
Theresa hadn't set any quotas, but I had my own minimum standards.
Even if Ruda had grounded me, strictly speaking the Academy Sewers weren't outside the Academy. So it should be fine.
I finished getting ready and was about to leave when something caught the edge of my vision as I passed the kitchen.
There was something on the table.
A sandwich, covered with a cloth napkin.
When I stepped closer, I found a small scrap of paper tucked beside it.
Eat this. Knowing you, you won't bother going to the cafeteria for breakfast, right?
At that, I couldn't help but let out a short laugh.
"What are you, my wife…"