Crossing the Wall (3)
……Even on the way back to the dormitory, Ilsea kept fiddling with his throbbing shoulder, clearly bothered by it. Ronari, picking up on his mood, kept apologizing in a small, creeping voice.
“Sorry…”
“It's fine. It's all because my trust level's rock bottom.”
“Ugh…”
Still, something nagged at her, and Ronari kept stealing glances at Ilsea. Ruda had said there wouldn't be any penalties since the academy had some responsibility too, but that didn't erase what had already happened. Plus, she'd thrown a massive tantrum. It had been ages since she'd acted so spoiled toward anyone, and she wasn't a kid anymore.
“But… so, is Bel really okay with that? Nothing bad's gonna happen, right…?”
“…Yeah. It's not like she joined some shady club or anything. She just has to hang out with Adelia a bit.”
Ilsea said that, but he seemed like something still bothered him. It didn't feel like a lie, though…
“Well, that's a relief, at least…”
As they neared the dormitory, Ilsea veered toward the nearby sink instead of heading straight inside.
“Where you going?”
“Can't go in looking like this.”
He gestured downward. His pants and shoes were a total mess, no question. Come to think of it, Ronari smelled something unpleasant on herself too. If she, who hadn't gotten a single drop on her, was like this, Ilsea must be even worse. Suddenly, the fact that he'd carried her on his back made her flush with embarrassment.
“Still, you could just use the bathroom…”
“If I wait for you to finish, it'll take all day. Go on up first.”
“…”
Ronari puffed out her cheeks a little. She knew it wasn't a complaint. It was based on the assumption that she'd use the bathroom first anyway. Still, it irked her that he considered even the tiniest details like that…
“Should I bring down a towel… or some spare clothes, then?”
“Change outside too?”
“That's not what I—!”
“I know. Just grab a towel. Thanks.”
Ronari puffed her cheeks even more. But this time, it was less annoyance and more surprise. That was straight-up teasing, wasn't it? Since when did Ilsea make jokes like that? He did it with Bel sometimes…
Ronari fetched the towel for Ilsea, then headed back to her room. To avoid repeating last time's mistake, she grabbed her change of clothes first… stripped down, entered the bathroom, and turned on the shower. Warm water poured over her.
As the water hit her, she thought about Ilsea. Back in the sewer, he'd said,
‘……You think just saying sorry fixes everything?’
It might be her imagination, but she'd glimpsed a bit of his true feelings in those words. It had been so long since he'd spoken like that. This year, he'd been keeping his distance from everything. He wasn't picking fights anymore, wasn't causing big scenes… but he wasn't showing his real self either. That must have been his way of being considerate to the world. True feelings, truth—they were always heavy burdens. Sharing them just weighed others down too.
But Ronari believed you couldn't form deep bonds without sharing that weight. That's why his constant retreats felt so frustrating.
‘Still, this time…’
Maybe she'd managed to grab hold of that slightly open heart of his. Ronari turned off the shower and started filling the tub. Not for herself, of course. …She had some shame. With the weather still chilly and him out there dousing his clothes and body in cold water.
While waiting for the tub to fill, she finished washing up and stepped out of the bathroom. Dressed and back in the living room, she saw Ilsea slumped on the sofa. Weird. He'd have heard her coming, but no reaction.
“All done.”
No response even then.
“…?”
She circled around to the front and found him fast asleep. His snoring was audible from two steps away.
“Whoa…”
She'd heard him sleep before, but seeing it up close was a first—novel, somehow. Ronari forgot about waking him and peered at his face from every angle, then plopped down beside him. She poked his cheek.
“…Not waking up even to this.”
A strange curiosity sparked. Ronari leaned toward him a bit. A little more… just a tad… And finally, her shoulder touched his arm, feeling firm muscle backed by a soft give.
“Mm…”
“!”
She flinched, but he stayed asleep. …A thrill of forbidden naughtiness hit her. Belica did this all the time, though.
‘Maybe I can try it once too?’
Ronari leaned against him, gazing up. Sharp jawline, defined neck muscles. Collarbone peeking through his shirt. …Should she touch it?
‘No, no. That's too risky…’
If she got caught, she'd be labeled a total perv with no defense. But wasn't she already at risk if he woke now? That logic made anything seem fine. A normal mindset would say stop now, but… Ronari wasn't normal anymore.
Her fingertip gently traced his jawline. Girls used to go crazy over him last year. If he dressed up a bit this year, it'd help his rep… No, that might be dangerous. More rivals.
Yeah… better if only she knew his true charms. Bel already did, unavoidably.
This guy was too kind. Pretending otherwise while caring for everything. Today too—holding her… carrying her… If she listed it all from the start, she'd run out of fingers.
“I thought you were a bad guy… why are you so sweet?”
Ronari rested her chin on his shoulder as she murmured. It was fine. He couldn't hear anyway.
“…You do this to other girls too?”
No way, but if he did… it'd sting. How could anyone resist this treatment? If he acted the same with everyone, he'd just be a player.
“You little rascal…”
She wanted to pinch him, but held back. Not some grand self-control—just didn't want him waking yet. She could toy with him all night if lucky. So, annoyance aside… fine, forgiven. …Until an exception popped up.
‘The Bel exception…’
Hmm… what to do… As someone who knew their relationship, she couldn't just butt in outright. But ignoring it felt… off…
‘Ugh…’
Realistically, some compromise was needed. Bel was… well, Ilsea had called them like siblings last time. But wasn't that too close for siblings…?
…Screw it. If Bel was the issue, she'd just go further than Bel ever had!
With that slightly unhinged conclusion, Ronari clasped her hand over his on the sofa. She slipped her fingers between his. Not in her right mind anymore, her face burned hot. Remembering the last time she'd done this.
Back then, she'd been too flustered to even feel it. But now, she could savor it. Hehe… Ronari gripped his hand tight, focusing on the sensation. Calluses, scars everywhere, unruly bulging muscles. So very Ilsea—yet his long, neat fingers hinted at a refined past, like they were once jade pillars.
When he'd caught her earlier, these hands had gripped her nape. Probably the first time he'd touched her on his own. Assigning meaning to every "first" felt overly dramatic, but… what could she do? It had become a habit to cherish each one.
Ronari kneaded his hand, lost in thought.
‘…I wish these hands would touch me other places too.’
It took mere seconds for the wish to become action. She lifted his hand to her cheek. Just that sent her excitement soaring—her brain might melt.
With her face against his hand, she looked up again. He was still out cold, not stirring for anything. Even if she went further.
But then—
Her brief vacation from sanity ended without warning. She lowered his hand back to the sofa at a subtly slow-yet-quick speed. Stood carefully, slipped into her room… and came back with a blanket.
“You think you're the only sweet one? Let me show you Ronari's kindness too. Hehe…”
She draped the blanket over him and grinned.
“See how it feels to melt under Lady Ronari's sweetness.”
Then she bolted back to her room. Staring at his face longer might lead to who-knows-what.
Sunlight filtering through my eyelids jolted me awake, bleary-eyed. When did I even fall asleep? Yesterday's exhaustion played a part, but being in my room let me drop my guard completely, dead to the world.
“…”
As I sat up, a blanket slipped off me. What the…? But with just us two here, the culprit was obvious. I glanced at Ronari's door.
-Knock knock
I went over and knocked, but no sound from inside. Out already on a Saturday morning? I folded the blanket and draped it over the sofa, then headed to the bathroom.
Outside it, my clothes from yesterday—rinsed and hung out—were neatly folded and dry.
“…?”
Again, the perpetrator was clear. Guess I owed her thanks later. I scratched my not-itchy head and went in.
Today, I'd head out early for work. Skipped last night, after all. No quota from Teresa, but I had my own minimum. Even with Ruda's outing ban, the academy sewers weren't technically outside the academy. Should be fine.
I finished prepping and was about to leave when something caught my eye passing the kitchen. On the table: a sandwich covered with a placemat. Up close, a small memo was attached.
Eat it. You're not going to the cafeteria in the morning 'cause it's a hassle, right?
At that point, I couldn't help but chuckle.
“What, am I her husband or something…?”