Seollal
Yoo Jae-min is an introvert.
Going outside, meeting new people, putting herself forward in front of others — she hates all of it.
"…Fuck, fuck, fuck…"
"Seriously? Again?"
I'd always known she was like this, but it had gotten worse since she became a girl. Maybe the disconnect with her own appearance had cranked her defense mechanisms into overdrive. And yet somehow this was the same person who'd decided to start streaming online.
"Hey. It's okay."
"…Nnh."
The method for calming her down never changed. I pulled her into my arms and stroked her hair.
The reason she was like this right now was simple: today was the eve of Seollal, and we were standing at the front door of my childhood home. An ordinary apartment on the eleventh floor, out in the provinces. Cross this threshold and my parents would be waiting. And in this world, my parents were her parents-in-law.
…Yeah, thinking about it, that was a pretty loaded relationship. On top of that, in her own memories, these were complete strangers.
Still, it would be fine, right? My parents were pretty hands-off — not the type to pick at every little thing.
"Let's go in."
"…Okay."
Ding-dong.
Beep-beep. Beep-beep. Beep-beep—
Brrring.
I rang the bell, then unlocked the door and stepped inside before anyone could come out. I knew the passcode anyway — the bell was just a signal that I'd arrived.
When I opened the door, Dad was already standing there.
"You're here? Come on in."
"Yeah, I'm home."
"H-h-h-h-hello! F-f-f-father-in-law!"
"Ah, Jae-min, you come on in too."
Ignoring the malfunctioning cute life-form next to me for a moment… Jae-min, you come on in too? That was the same tone he used when one of my regular friends dropped by. Apparently, in this world, Jammin was a familiar face to my family.
"Where's Mom?"
"Kitchen."
With that, Dad headed back to the sofa in front of the living room TV. What was he watching? Soccer?
But why was she shaking this hard? I'd never seen her this nervous. Worried she might actually fall apart, I took her hand to steady her.
"Come on. Let's go in."
"O-o-okay…"
We headed inside and checked the kitchen. Mom was hard at work on something.
"Mom, I'm home."
"Oh, my boy's here? And our daughter-in-law too."
"H-h-h-hello! M-m-mother-in-law!"
Was there any way to stop this girl's arms from vibrating?
"What are you doing?"
"Just frying up some jeon."
"Yeah? I'll help."
There looked like a lot of it — lending a hand would probably help. I glanced back at Jae-min.
"Go sit on the sofa and rest."
"…I-I should help too…"
"It's fine. You can do the dishes after we eat."
"…"
She nodded with a rigid face and creaked toward the living room sofa like a robot. …Maybe I should have just told her to go wait in the room. Still, getting a little used to the living room seemed better.
"What can I help with?"
"Then coat these in the batter and egg wash for me."
"Sure."
Now that I was actually looking, she was almost done. Just the pollack fillets and the zucchini left.
"Pollack first?"
"Yeah, go ahead."
It was the same work we did every holiday, so I was used to it.
"Where's Kang-hoon?"
"He'll be here before dinner."
"Something come up?"
"He just called. Said he only just woke up."
"Ah…"
Lee Kang-hoon, my little brother, was the kind of guy who could sleep through someone shaking him awake if he was tired enough. When I'd messaged him yesterday he'd said he'd be here before lunch — but then he'd mentioned drinking with friends last night, so of course he was running late. He went to a local university, so no car ride needed; he could show up whenever. Probably drank without a second thought.
"Son. Looks like you've been taking good care of our daughter-in-law?"
"Huh?"
"You happy living with your wife?"
"Mm…"
Was I happy? Well, if she was asking whether I liked living with Jae-min, then yes. But she wasn't exactly a real wife, so answering felt weirdly complicated.
"Yeah, I am."
"Good. If you're happy, Mom's happy. So tell your wife she doesn't need to feel guilty about anything. Marriage is between two people, right? You chose well."
…What was that supposed to mean?
Come to think of it, Jae-min's father had also apologized, saying he wondered if he'd forced the marriage on us. Hmm… there was clearly some hidden backstory to our wedding. Did Jae-min know about it? I should ask her later.
We finished frying the jeon, ate lunch, did the dishes… and after spending some time in the living room, we naturally got up and headed to the bedroom. Taking the train out here had been tiring — we needed rest.
Our place was a completely ordinary apartment layout. One room and a bathroom near the entrance. Further in, living room on the right, kitchen on the left. Beyond that, the master bedroom with its own bathroom, and one room across the hall. The room across from the master was my little brother's. And the one by the front door — the one we were in now — was mine. The desk and chair I'd used, the big bed, all still there exactly as I'd left them.
"…"
"Feeling a little better now?"
"Yeah."
She answered quietly from where she sat on my lap.
"So why were you so nervous?"
"…They're people I have to make a good impression on."
"Ha. Since when do you care about that?"
"Fuck off. Don't give me that shit."
"Mm."
She squirmed in a show of defiance. Of course, that little rebellion was crushed the moment I tightened my arms around her.
People she had to make a good impression on, huh. They were her in-laws, so she wasn't wrong — but it meant she was accepting the situation in her own way. The thought was oddly endearing, so I ruffled her hair thoroughly.
"…That's enough."
"Yeah. Come to think of it…"
What Mom had said earlier came back to me.
"Do you know anything about how we ended up getting married?"
"…Why all of a sudden?"
"Mom told me to tell you not to feel guilty about anything. I have no idea what she meant."
"Ah…"
Her expression grew complicated. So she did know something.
"I… heard it from my mom too."
"Oh, you know?"
"You saw my school grades, right?"
"Yeah."
Those catastrophic grades — I'd seen them on day one.
"When I took my leave of absence… apparently I said I couldn't go to school without you."
"Huh?"
"So my dad told me if that was the case, I should go get a marriage stamp with you and come back… and the next day I went to your military base."
"Whoa…"
Mm… that was a lot more spectacular than I'd imagined. Ah, so that was why her father had apologized. He'd said it in anger, never expecting she'd actually go get the stamp. And I'd stamped the papers at a military visitation? …Just what kind of relationship had this world's me and this girl had? Freshman year, she'd told the class rep they weren't dating.
"I…"
"Yeah?"
"I want to stream instead of going back to school."
"…?"
Wait, what?
"If I get academic probation twice as a freshman like before, it's all F's anyway, so I'd just retake them. But with my current grades, wouldn't it be better to just quit?"
"…Hey, Jammin? Re-enrollment applications close in a few days. You haven't filed yet?"
"…"
"Hey. Just because your nickname is Jammin doesn't mean your brain has to be a jammin's too."
"…Fuck."
"Aigoo…"
I stroked the head of the now thoroughly dejected girl. Watching her from the end-of-semester party all the way to today, I'd started to get a sense of things. The way I saw it, it wasn't that she hated school so much as the idea of stepping out into society itself that felt overwhelming. I knew her original self, so I was fine with it — but out there, she'd have to live as a real woman. She no longer knew whether acting the way she always had was even right, so she wanted to avoid those situations entirely.
"Alright. Stream if you want."
"…Really?"
"But file the re-enrollment application too."
"…"
"There's still over a month until the semester starts. If streaming doesn't work out, you'll need school as a backup."
"…Okay."
She nodded, then slowly turned to look at me.
"…Kiss me."
Whether she wanted to shake off the gloom that had piled up, she wrapped her arms around my neck. As always, I answered the invitation. Cupping the nape of her neck, I brought my mouth to her small lips.
Click!
"Hyung! I'm ho—"
"…"
"…"
"Uh, hello, noona. Sorry. Please, continue what you were doing."
Slam!
Of course, we didn't continue. I had to go out after my big-mouthed little brother and endure being the family punchline for a while. Still, talking things through like that seemed to help her settle into our home, which was a relief. Mom also seemed to drop the half-skeptical look she'd been giving our relationship. …Though my brother had apparently earned himself a grudge from Jae-min.
I'd been a little anxious, but things had worked out well enough that I felt at ease. I stroked the hair of the girl lying in my arms again. In the dark of the unlit room, I saw her squirm in response.
"…I want to."
"…Hold it in."
What was she saying, all the way out here? Everyone was asleep, and she wanted to do sumata? How did she plan to deal with the aftermath?
"Then… a kiss."
"…"
Mm. Finishing what we'd started earlier should be fine. I kissed the girl who'd turned toward me.
"…Mmnh…♥♥"
As our tongues tangled, I habitually groped her chest, and a sweet, nasal moan spilled from her lips. Hearing that sound, I felt desire steadily filling my own head. …Still, I had to hold back.
"…Haa…♥"
"…That's enough, right?"
"…Ha…♥"
She wasn't answering. That meant no. When she didn't want something and had no intention of going along, she simply didn't respond at all. …So then what? She really wanted to do sumata here?
"…It's getting harder to hold back…"
"Absolutely not."
"…Nnh…♥"
"Hey, you crazy bitch…!"
This heat-struck little female ground her ass against my crotch. Ever since she'd become a girl, whatever that god had done to me too, my stamina had gotten absurdly strong — holding back was genuinely hard. Honestly, there was a limit to how many times a man could come in a day. How was all-day sex even possible? And yet lately, that was exactly what we'd been doing…
"…Then touch me."
"…"
"…Hurry…♥"
…I'd always known she was like this.
"Aigoo… Fine. We'll do that. But stay quiet."
"…Okay… nnh…♥♥"
"Ah, seriously."
The moment I slipped my hand under her clothes, a moan burst from her mouth. I'd told her to be quiet… no choice, then. I reached out with my other hand and lightly covered her mouth.
"Mmph…♥♥"
I couldn't kill the sound completely, but this would have to do. Once she got drunk on pleasure and lost herself, she had no idea what she was doing.
"Mmph-hh…♥♥♥"
Along with the sigh that leaked between her parted lips, her tongue licked my fingers. Was she getting off on having her mouth covered? I'd always felt it — she seemed to get aroused by anything that felt forced on her by me. The way she preferred it from behind was the same.
…She looked close. Maybe I should match her a little more.
"…Hnh-hnh…♥♥"
"…Go on. Come."
"Mmph-nnnnh…♥♥♥?!"
Against my hand toying with her most private place, I felt her wetness shoot out like a water gun. The body in my arms trembled and pressed tight against me, clinging. As always… it was a deeply satisfying sight, one that filled the well of desire deep in my heart.
"…Hnnn…♥ Hnnaah…♥"
"Alright. Sleep now."
I needed to sleep too, before my own need broke through the limits of my patience. I held the still-panting girl close and closed my eyes.
"…Nuh-uh…♥"
"Huh?"
"Haah… a little… more…♥"
"…"
…Apparently, getting to sleep easily tonight was out of the question.