Chapter 179
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 179
The moment the words slipped out, I regretted them. To Gabriel, it must have sounded like utter nonsense. No, wait—he already knew I was a possessor.
Right. He probably thought of me as some kind of ghost. Definitely not a ‘rat’…
Just as my thoughts began to spiral, Gabriel called out to me. "My Lady." His voice was sweet, melting my worries away.
"Whatever you are, My Lady, I am happy."
I had asked if he was okay with it, but his answer was that he was happy. Gabriel even managed a joke with a perfectly straight face.
"After all, rumors are already spreading that you are an angel, My Lady."
"That sounds like something Misha would say."
An angel? Hardly. Bishop Marik was currently trying to frame me not just as a witch, but as a demon.
The word ‘angel’ immediately brought Misha’s silver-tongued flattery to mind, the way she praised me with such honeyed words. It was a relief she had left the Rohanson Mansion before this whole mess began. At least she hadn't been dragged into this like Doline.
When I mentioned Misha, Gabriel’s expression brightened.
"Shall we ask her to design your gown for the Festival of Sacrifice again?"
"But there are only ten days left."
And once tonight passed, it would be nine. The timeline was incredibly tight.
Putting the schedule aside, it was odd for Gabriel to suddenly bring up the Festival of Sacrifice. Why the abrupt change in topic? Did mentioning Misha naturally lead his thoughts to dresses?
"Wasn't the timeline tight for your debutante as well, My Lady? I'm sure she would gladly accept, insisting she could finish it in time."
"I'm supposed to be a sacrifice. Does the outfit really matter?"
"You are the protagonist of the event. Doesn't that make it all the more special? It's what everyone will remember."
Starting with the dress, Gabriel continued to make small talk.
My heart was still in turmoil. I was an anxious wreck on the inside, but my conversation with him felt so normal, so mundane, as if nothing was wrong.
He started with light topics that required little thought, then gradually shifted subjects. He told me about the clumsy mistakes he’d made when he first joined the knights and the amusing mischief he and Raphaella had gotten into.
"Once, Raphaella and I snuck out of the temple to go to a tavern. It was his first time, and he was so excited that he started drinking before I could even stop him."
"I take it Sir Raphaella can hold his liquor."
"Not at all. I had no idea the son of a duke could be such a lightweight. He was practically crawling on all fours. To make matters worse, we had a sacred rite the next day. I was sure the priest would find out and give him a severe scolding, but when the time came, Raphaella stood there looking perfectly fine. When I asked him how, he said he’d cured his hangover with holy water."
Using holy water as a hangover cure. That sounded exactly like the son of a duke—and exactly like Raphaella. Listening to his stories felt like hearing fond school-day memories. It was pleasant.
The topics kept shifting, never lingering on one thing for too long. He talked about the first time we met and how we found Pudding and Jelly.
Though we had known each other almost since the moment I possessed this body, this was the first time Gabriel and I had ever talked for so long. And because his every word was filled with consideration for me, it was neither uncomfortable nor annoying.
After chatting for a while, my mood had improved significantly. Laughing at his stories, I almost tricked myself into believing I was happy.
Only then did I realize why Gabriel had suddenly changed the subject and rambled on with all sorts of trivial tales. He was trying to comfort me. Fearing that a wave of emotion might spill from my lips, I pressed them shut.
The conversation died down, and a brief silence fell between us. Mavka used to say that whenever it grew quiet, an angel was passing by. I had always thought it was just a child's fantasy, but maybe there was some truth to it. Strangely, the silence wasn't awkward at all.
Gabriel looked at me, his eyes curving into a gentle smile.
"A star has fallen," he said.
Did a shooting star just pass? But he wasn't even looking out the window. Perhaps it was another expression like ‘an angel passed by,’ one that simply meant a brief silence had settled.
After saying a star had fallen, Gabriel looked happier than I had ever seen him. He wore a look of pure satisfaction, like a thirsty man who had finally quenched his thirst or a child who had received a mountain of gifts.
As if possessed, I suggested, "Why don't you make a wish?"
"A wish?" Gabriel asked.
It seemed this world had a superstition about angels passing by, but not about wishing on a shooting star. Then again, with the Sun Goddess and demons being real, there was little reason to pray to an innocent star.
"There's a saying that if you make a wish on a falling star, it will come true."
"My wish is…"
Gabriel paused in thought, then seemed to decide on something and began to speak. I quickly stopped him.
"You don't have to tell me. You're not supposed to share wishes with others."
We didn't even know if a star had actually fallen, and even if one had, you were supposed to make the wish in the fleeting moment it streaked across the sky. Still, if we were going to do this, we might as well follow proper etiquette.
At my words, Gabriel closed his mouth, seemingly making his wish. Although I’d told him not to say it, I couldn't help but wonder what he was wishing for.
To heal his wounds? As a knight, that would surely be his top priority.
"Your wish will come true, Sir."
Even if the star didn't grant it, I would find a way to heal his body. So, one way or another, it would come true.
"Yes. I'm sure it will," Gabriel nodded, echoing my certainty. He smiled, satisfied, before asking if I had made a wish as well.
"Did you make a wish too, My Lady?"
Come to think of it, I had been so focused on him that I hadn't made one myself. He must have noticed. The look in his eyes seemed to urge me to make one quickly.
A wish… A moment ago, my only wish was to bury myself under the blankets and escape reality forever.
Fortunately, talking with Gabriel had washed away that feeling of wallowing in mud. It was all thanks to him letting me vent my bottled-up emotions.
Right. I couldn't stay depressed forever. Pull yourself together, Evangeline.
I closed my eyes, clasped my hands together, and made a wish.
Please let me survive this without Bishop Marik slitting my throat.
Now that I knew the secret of my birth, my desperation was even greater. As I made the wish, a chill ran down my spine, and I had to resist the urge to rub my hands together in frantic prayer.
"Your wish will also come true, My Lady."
Gabriel returned the words I had just said to him. A small chuckle escaped me. Even though he didn't know what I wished for, his support felt nice.
Perhaps my laughter was contagious, because the corners of Gabriel's mouth were turned up as well. Just looking at his face made me feel warm inside. The dawn air was so cold, and I wasn't even touching him, so it was a strange feeling indeed.
My turbulent emotions had finally settled. Now that I’d regained the senses I had nearly lost, I realized just how shameless I had been.
I had barged into the room of a patient who needed absolute rest, whined for comfort, and disturbed his peace. I was utterly embarrassed. And I was grateful to Gabriel for silently comforting me without even knowing why I needed it.
"I disturbed you when you should be resting."
When I apologized, Gabriel denied it with an intensity that suggested he would have waved his hands dismissively if they weren't injured.
"Disturbed me? Not at all. You could never be a disturbance to me, My Lady."
"..."
I was speechless. Technically, wasn't he in this broken state because I had brought him harm?
"Even though I was whining at you when you're the one who's hurt?"
"On the contrary, I'm glad I can be of help to you, even like this."
But your body is like this because of me, isn't it? The retort almost came out, but my conscience stopped the self-loathing sarcasm from escaping. Gabriel's kindness, however, didn't stop there.
"To be honest, My Lady, you might grow tired of me if I spoke my true feelings, but…" Gabriel said, his gaze fixed on me. "I was happy that you came to see me."
I had simply gone to the wrong room. My conscience, proving it was still very much alive, pricked at me. I felt a sharp pang of guilt.
"I am glad that I was the one to see this more human side of you."
Glad. Happy. When Gabriel spoke of me, he used kind, warm words. He made me sound like a blessing, not a misfortune. The way he talked, you would think I had never caused anyone any harm…
Once again, I was struck by the fact that Gabriel liked me. I had experienced it several times, but it felt new every single time. How could he continue to harbor feelings for me when I rejected him at every turn?
Now that I saw him as a real person and not just a character in a novel, it was even more of a mystery. It wasn't like he was programmed to feel this way. Had his goodwill—which started from a sense of kinship because holy water didn't work on him—truly grown this large?
But could an emotion that started from mere kinship snowball into this? I could guess, but I could never truly understand Gabriel's heart unless I was him.
Suddenly, I felt uncomfortable sitting here. I couldn't be completely shameless in front of someone who confessed his feelings as naturally as he breathed. Until now, I had treated him as just another admirer I was stringing along, which was why I’d been so brazen.
It was time to return to my room. This was absolutely not me running away from Gabriel, nor from the unfamiliar emotions stirring inside me.
"I should get going. You need to rest, Sir."
As I stood to leave, Gabriel flinched. I was about to scold him for trying to move while injured, but then I realized what he had been trying to do and had to bite my lip.
We had just exchanged farewells. And every time we parted, Gabriel would kiss the back of my hand. He had moved out of pure habit.
"...Not being able to move one's body is quite inconvenient."
You've been injured for this long, and you're only realizing that now? As always, the retort died on my tongue.
* * *
I covered the back of my hand with my other as I left Gabriel's room. My face felt hot. If I looked in a mirror, I might see my usually expressionless face flushed red for once.
Evangeline Rohanson, are you crazy? You must be.
Yes, I was definitely crazy. Berating myself, I opened the door to my room.
Canna was inside, still awake and waiting for me.
"My Lady!"
Seeing me, Canna rushed over and threw herself into my arms. Ever since she began her etiquette lessons with Daisy, she had been so polite. It had been a long time since she’d hugged me so freely.
"I told you to go to another room."
"I'm sorry…" An apology slipped from her lips, though I hadn't meant to scold her.
Unlike the way she had jumped into my arms, her body was stiff. Only when I hugged her back did she finally relax. And then, she burst into tears.
"But I was so worried… and when I came here, you weren't here, My Lady…"
"I wanted you to rest instead of waiting for me."
"How… how could I rest without you, My Lady… hic."
Canna sniffled, whining like a child. She had been acting so mature just a moment ago, but the second she saw me, she dissolved into tears, no different from young Mavka.
Was our Canna six years old? I don't know where the ‘1’ in front of that ‘6’ ran off to. She still had a long way to go.
It seemed she had gone to an empty room as I’d told her, but then, worried about me, she had risked a scolding to come find me. When she found my room empty, she must have grown anxious and waited here until I returned.
Feeling a pang of guilt, I patted her back until she calmed down. After her only blood relative, Hena, betrayed her, Canna was left all alone. I was the only one she could rely on, yet I had pushed her away. She must have been deeply hurt. I really hadn't been in my right mind.
Fortunately, Canna wasn't a complete child, and she stopped crying quickly.
"I'm okay now. Because you're back, My Lady."