I Decided to Regress - 3
Is this regression...? Did I come back to the past...?
"Aaah..!!"
A sharp, electric pain shot through my head.
Yeah, headaches are pretty much a given for regressors.
But how old am I now? What year is this?
"Oh my? You're awake?"
"What year... is it here..?"
"Excuse me??"
"What year is it right now?!"
She looked flustered. Maybe because my way of speaking didn't sound like a little kid's? I'd have to watch my speech patterns from now on.
"It's 2035.."
"I-Is it really 2035 right now?!!"
I shouted, unable to believe it.
"Y-Yes.. 2035..."
"Why?"
"Huh??"
"Why is it still 2035?"
"Well.. because it is 2035..?"
"......"
Still 2035? Why? Didn't I regress?
"Nurse Park, what's going on?"
"Well.. the patient woke up and.. he asked why it's 2035..."
"Ah... I'll talk to him. Sir, what's your name?"
"Cha Sunwoo."
"According to the CT, aside from a minor scalp laceration, there's nothing particularly wrong. Do you feel nauseous, have a headache, or any dizziness?"
I hadn't regressed. Yet here I was, face to face with a doctor in the ER. With less than two hundred thousand won in my bank account... what was I going to do?
"I had a bit of a headache when I first woke up, but other than a dull throbbing now, nothing else. Um, about that..."
"Yes, is there somewhere else that hurts?"
"No, it's about the hospital bill..."
"That gentleman already paid for it."
"A-Are you alright..? Oh my, I'm so sorry! I kept meaning to fix that sign but I've been so busy just scraping by..."
"Thank you."
"Huh??"
Fortunately, the building owner who'd been hanging that loose sign had paid the hospital bill. He looked terrified I might sue him, but we settled amicably with the hospital fees plus three hundred thousand won in compensation. I hadn't planned on taking any settlement money, but I needed to hold out until I could regress.
"The old man with the handcart doesn't seem to be working. So next..."
The moment I left the hospital, I moved locations for the next cliché.
"Second cliché: truck accident."
The most classic, traditional cliché of them all. Since regression stories first appeared, hundreds of protagonists must have died after getting hit by a truck. Today, I planned to become one of them.
"Here it comes."
I confirmed the truck barreling toward me with terrifying force and stood at the roadside. One step forward and that truck would hit me, and I'd go back to the past.
BEEEEEEP!!!!!
Whoooosh—
Overwhelming size and speed. Deafening horn. Sand and wind whipping past. Everything was perfect.
But.
"This is too scary..?"
I couldn't bring myself to step out onto the road. This was way more terrifying than I'd expected. Still, I had to do it. It was probably the cliché with the highest chance of regression.
"Here comes another one."
This time for sure, I'd get hit by that truck and regress. I stood back at the roadside I'd retreated from and waited for the perfect timing—a timing where the driver wouldn't even have a chance to react before hitting me and driving past.
Not yet.
Not yet.
Not yet.
Right now!
BEEEEEEP!!!!!
"......"
This wasn't it. It would hurt way too much. Let's move on to the next cliché.
I turned around—and collapsed onto the road after bumping into some guy walking by.
"What the fuck..!"
"Ah.. sorry..."
Why the hell was he walking while looking at his phone! With a build like that, he should watch where he's going!
BEEEEEEP!!!!!!!
Ha... why are there so many trucks going by.
"AAAAAAAH!!!!! I'm going back anyway!!!!"
This time it was certain. I was going back to the past. And I'd live a different life.
SCREEEEEEECH!!!!!!!
The sound of tires tearing across the asphalt. No matter how hard he tried, it was useless. Considering the truck's speed and braking distance, there was no way it would stop in front of me. So I squeezed my eyes shut tight for the coming pain and the regression, and just as I'd expected, the truck slammed into me.
THUD!!!
With a tremendous impact, I blacked out—then opened my eyes again. And the face that greeted me was a very familiar one.
"You're back again? It's 2035 right now."
The ER nurse I'd parted with less than two hours ago. This time she told me the year before I even asked.
"Yeah.. why is it 2035 again..."
"Should I call this good luck or bad luck.."
This time it was the ER doctor from earlier.
"What do you mean?"
"Getting hit by a falling sign and then a truck in the same day clearly means bad luck, but looking at how perfectly fine you are, it also seems like good luck... Anyway, you're completely fine. But your elbow and shoulder will be a bit sore for a few days, so try not to use your arm and get some rest."
"Um, about that..."
"The hospital bill was paid by that gentleman."
"Are you alright..?"
It was the big guy who'd knocked me onto the road. And there was one more person.
"Hey!! Are you crazy?!! Do you have a death wish?!!"
The truck driver who'd nearly become a murderer was going berserk in the ER, and it was a real sweat to deal with him, but the bear-sized guy apologized on my behalf and we roughly wrapped things up.
"Ugh..!"
Pain surged from my elbow and shoulder where I'd hit the truck that had managed to stop just in time. But how the hell did it stop? No, why didn't I regress?
Of course I'd known it wouldn't be easy. Going back to the past, after all. But even the highest-probability cliché had failed.
"Should I have hit it harder..?"
Yeah, maybe it was because it wasn't a fatal enough accident. But trying again was too scary. Dying by truck could wait until last.
"What can I get you?"
"One bone hangover soup, please."
"One bone hangover soup coming up~~"
Even regression comes after a meal, so first things first—eat. After all that thinking, getting hit by a sign, and getting hit by a truck, I was starving.
Clatter- clatter-
While waiting for the steaming bone hangover soup, I pulled a spoon and chopsticks from the utensil holder by the table. But the chopsticks..?
"Third cliché: electrocution. Boss~ where's the outlet?"
"Want me to charge your phone?"
"No. I'm charging something else."
"It's right there next to you."
"Thank you."
I turned my head and saw a dual outlet. I slid my butt over toward it, gripped chopsticks in both hands, and jammed them into the holes. Definitely easier than jumping in front of a truck....
"KYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!"
ZZZT!! ZZZT!!
"Shouldn't we send him to psych instead of the ER? This patient seems to be doing this on purpose..."
"I'm not crazy."
"....I-It's 2035 right now!!"
I know. You and that doctor are right in front of me again.
I stared blankly at the nurse who was fleeing while once again informing me of the year, then turned my head at the doctor's voice.
"Sir. You're not at an age where you'd do something like that out of curiosity, so please be careful from now on."
"Yes."
"The burns on your hands are quite severe. You'll need to visit a dermatologist regularly for treatment, and if you'd like, I can recommend a scar clinic I know."
"I'm fine. So can I be discharged?"
"You're this fine after all that, so of course. But this time you'll need to pay the hospital bill yourself."
"Yes..."
Fortunately, the bill was covered by the money I had on me. But I must have been out for quite a while this time. It was night.
I stared blankly up at the dark sky for a moment, then started walking. I took a bus that was still running and rode for a long while, then walked the rest of the way after getting off.
Cars glittering with lights as they passed, the river sparkling under the moonlight. Yeah, the place I'd arrived at was Mapo Bridge—the mecca of suicide.
"......"
"......"
Our eyes met for a moment and we both stopped. I knew at a glance that this middle-aged man had come here for the same reason as me.
"Mister.."
"D-Don't come any closer!!"
"No, it's not that.."
"Don't tell me not to die?! What do you know!! Do you know how I feel after my wife divorced me and even my kids all left me!!! Fuck, this dogshit life..! What did I do so wrong!! What did I!!!! All I did was work like a dog to feed my wife and kids... Why me.. why... sob..!"
"......"
I listened for a long time until the man had said everything he wanted to say. But this guy really talked a lot. I was getting sleepy. Two hours had already passed. Could I say something now too?
"Mister."
"Thanks... No one ever listened to me until now... Fuck, getting it all off my chest like this actually feels a bit better... Alright. I won't die. Yeah, no matter how shitty it is, I've got to live. If I die, who's going to take care of my parents."
"Ah... well, good thinking."
"But why do you keep calling me mister? We're both getting old—just call me hyung."
"Okay, hyung."
"So why'd you come here, little bro? Doesn't look like you came to kill yourself."
"To regress."
"What?"
"Well then, live hard."
"L-Little bro...."
SPLASH!!!!!!
Finally free from the talkative mister... no, hyung. And I learned something. Why people drown themselves in a river instead of the ocean.
Gurgle gurgle!!!!
It felt like someone was pulling me down into the water. When I couldn't hold my breath any longer, my mouth opened on its own. Air bubbles rose upward as water filled every direction and got sucked into my mouth and nose.
It hurt. But it didn't feel bad. Because this time, it really felt like I was going to regress for real.
But that... a mermaid..?
Grab—
"Gurgle..!! Ugh!! Uuuugh!!!!"
A mermaid that suddenly appeared grabbed my hair and hauled me upward.
"Pwah!!"
"Cough!! Haaaaaah..!"
This person..!
"What the hell are you doing!!! You told me to live!! So why are you trying to die!!! Live! Live, damn it!! No, I'll definitely save you..!!"
"Stop.. stop..!!"
How the hell is he this good at swimming!! Let go!! Just let me regress!!
I tried to push his face away with my completely drained hands and pry him off, but it was useless. This guy was insanely strong and an insanely good swimmer.
Splash!! Splash!!
He cut through the water like a seal and in an instant hauled me out of the water. At this point, was he a rescue worker or what??
"Breathe! Breathe!!!"
"Ugh..! Ugh..!"
Every time I tried to breathe he pressed on my chest so I couldn't. Was I going to die like this..? My consciousness was fading...
W-Wait a second..! Wait! Not that!!!
"Hoooooo!!!!"
"Uuuuugh!!!!"
Horrifying. I want to die. Fuck, I never thought a man would put his mouth on mine..!
"Hah! Hah! Are you conscious?!"
"Ubbbbbb!!! What the hell are you!! What the hell are you!!!!"
"I'm so glad you're alive.. really glad...."
"You crazy bastard..!! Let me regress already!!!!"