The Start of a Day
The start of the day always begins with a cup of coffee and a dose of music videos. I set the mood by playing LaStella’s second single, Blackstar, while preparing breakfast. The speakers, which I’d spent a small fortune on, captured the heavy, rhythmic bass and Su-a’s beautiful voice with stunning clarity. As the song reached the chorus, the upbeat guitar riff kicked in. I clumsily swayed along to the choreography while frying eggs. My breakfast is always the same: two fried eggs and a piece of toasted bread. I maintain this frugality for the sake of my fandom. After all, I have to buy at least 100 albums to even have a shot at attending events like fan signing sessions. Of course, buying 100 copies doesn’t guarantee a 100% success rate. In the end, it comes down to luck. Some people don’t get picked even after buying 200, while others get in with just one. Still, my batting average is quite high—three hits in four at-bats, a solid 0.75.
Crunch. I took a bite of the perfectly browned toast and turned on my phone. I have a morning routine. First, I log into Wever to check if our idol posted anything overnight and to see if there’s any new news regarding her. There were no new posts. When there was a fan sign event four days ago, the feed was buzzing with reviews, but things have been quiet since the big event ended. There were a few comments on posts uploaded by fans, but none of them were from Su-a. Unlike the other members, Su-a isn’t very active on social media. Unless she’s promoting an album, she rarely posts about her daily life. She doesn’t take many selfies either, so seeing her recent status usually means looking at photos taken with other members. Otherwise, I catch her during W LIVE or through official content uploaded to the LaStella official YouTube channel.
After checking Wever, the next thing I do is open my photo album. I scroll through Su-a’s pictures, picking out my wallpaper for the day. Changing my background to match my mood every morning is a small but certain happiness for me. ...Today, it’s this one. A photo taken in the spring of this year, where she’s pouting her lips cutely with a cherry blossom petal resting on them. It was taken before LaStella’s official debut and uploaded to Instagram. Her vermilion lips and cheeks, puffed up like soft, squishy rice cakes, radiate pure cuteness.
“Seriously... is it even allowed for a person to be this cute?”
I honestly think she should apologize to her fans for being so cute it hurts. I was still mutting to myself when a DM arrived.
“It’s Jjuyuni...!”
I checked the DM immediately. The nickname was Jjuyuni. She’s one of the few people I follow back and the Knight I’m closest to. For reference, Knight is the name of LaStella’s fandom. It’s a double meaning for "Knight" and "night," representing those who protect and make LaStella, who signify the stars, shine bright.
With this week’s live performance, LaStella’s second single promotional period comes to an end. Then, there will be a few months of downtime, and it’ll be hard to see Su-a in person until the next single drops. This means it’s my last chance to see her during this promotional cycle. So, attendance is mandatory.
It seems Jjuyuni won’t be able to make it to the weekend music show this time either. We act like friends on social media, but we’ve never actually met in person to hang out. We always talk about going together, but our schedules never align. I can’t go on weekdays because I have to work at the academy, and Jjuyuni has work on the weekends. Even if we can’t meet, we stay in touch constantly, chatting about our idol or sharing "good things." To be precise, since we both have Su-a as our bias, we swap her fancams and photos. We even trade photocards when needed. When I was financially strapped and couldn’t buy 100 albums like I do now, Jjuyuni helped me collect every single one of Su-a’s photocards.
Jjuyuni is the only fan I’ve ever met who is so perfectly in sync with me. She likes the same things I do, and she knows them inside and out. I pride myself on knowing a lot about Su-a, but Jjuyuni knows things even I don’t. If I’m a "ten-level" fan, she’s like a "thirty-level" fan. I heard she has an acquaintance working at Starlight Entertainment, the agency that manages LaStella, and even a friend who is close to Su-a. She gets all sorts of information through them... I’m so jealous. If I had the talent, I’d want to join Starlight Entertainment and see Su-a up close every single day. It’s a dream bordering on delusion.
That’s why people don’t believe she’s 158cm; they think she’s well over 160cm.
It’s not that I can’t send it. It’s a photo I want to keep for myself, but considering all the SSSR photos Jjuyuni has sent me, I’d give her anything she asked for.
The DM went silent after that. She read it, but Jjuyuni’s reply didn’t come for a long while.
Ah, there was that way. I opened the photo editing tool in my album. I carefully painted over my eyes in black, making sure not to disrespect Su-a’s beautiful face. ...This doesn’t look right. Just blacking out the eyes makes it look like a photo from a crime investigation show or a paranormal program. I slapped a smiley face sticker over the mosaic-covered face. "That’s better." I sent the edited photo to Jjuyuni immediately. While waiting for a reply, I cleared the table and did the dishes. I only had to wash one plate and one cup. After that, I organized the materials for today’s classes. I work as a math tutor at a comprehensive academy for middle and high school students. I graduated with an engineering degree, but since I had no desire to work for a corporation, I’m working as a tutor on a part-time basis. My working hours are from 4:00 PM to 11:00 PM, Monday through Friday. I’m in charge of students from middle school to the first year of high school. As I turned on my laptop to organize the lesson materials for quadratic equations and functions, a DM notification chimed. She sent a photo.
“Whoa...! What is this?”
As soon as I saw the photo, I jumped up from my seat and shouted. The photo Jjuyuni sent was a selfie of Su-a. She looked like she had just woken up in bed, with messy hair and sleepy eyes. She was half-covered by a thick blanket, and wearing a thin spaghetti-strap top that left her collarbones and deep cleavage fully exposed. And the way her large breasts were slightly pressed and pushed to the side was incredibly erotic. In a way, it was a truly dynamic photo.
Naturally, this isn’t a photo circulating on the internet. It was my first time seeing it, too. It’s beyond SSSR; it’s a limited SSSSR. You couldn’t buy something like this even if you had the money.
She also sent a winking emoticon. Jjuyuni is truly a cool woman. Sharing such a rare photo without even asking for money. If she has a photo like this, she definitely has a solo selfie with Su-a, too.
Ahem. Ahem-hem. As if I’d use it for anything weird. ...I might pull it out once in a while when I’m feeling lonely. To soothe my solitude. Anyway, there’s absolutely no chance I’d upload it to the internet or share it with anyone else. This, too, is for my personal collection in [JjuaJjua♡].
After exchanging brief goodbyes and wishing each other a good day, we ended the conversation. I went back into my album to check the photo. “Wow...” I could only marvel. How can she be this pretty even after just waking up? That’s one thing, but the way her breasts were pressed to the side was also truly beautiful. Her breasts, filled with feminine charm, were closer to a model’s than an idol’s. Like a racing model or a MEXIM cover model. “There’s even a mole here.” I can see a small mole on the inner side of her left breast. Because it’s in such a deep spot, I’d never have found it if not for a photo with this much exposure. I’ve gained one more piece of knowledge about Su-a. Ah, this isn’t the time for this. I hurried to prepare for my classes. I have to work hard on the weekdays to enjoy the weekends.
Click-clack. I typed busily on my laptop.
“...It’s the first photo we took together.”
I stared at my phone screen. A selfie of a man and a woman standing side by side. A smiley face sticker was plastered over the man’s face. If I could, I’d use my fingernails to peel that sticker right off.
“Aaaaaaah, I told you just to send it to me.”
I kicked the bed, throwing a tantrum like a child. It’s great that we took a selfie together, but it’s such a shame I can’t keep it for myself. If I were smart enough to be good with computers, I would’ve hacked Yujun-oppa’s phone and snatched the original data.
Knock, knock.
I heard a knock at the door. I quickly straightened my posture, acting as dignified as possible after throwing a tantrum like a kid while looking at my phone. A moment later, the door opened and Iroha walked in.
“Su-a unnie, we have to go to the shop.”
Iroha, the Japanese member, hugged me and acted all cute. “I know, I know.”
“Why are you dressed so revealingly?”
I was wearing a spaghetti-strap top. Whenever I’m in the dorm, I always wear long-sleeved pajamas over it. Unlike the other free-spirited members, I’m a bit on the conservative side.
“It’s hot.”
I couldn’t tell her I took off my pajamas to take a racy selfie. “Loha-ya, it’s hot, so move away.”
My face flushed hot just thinking about the selfie I’d taken. I pushed Iroha away for no reason.