Chapter 134
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 134
Chapter Title: Ahh, So This is a "Date" (2)
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"What should we eat now?"
Even though I hadn't done anything, the hamburger from breakfast had completely vanished from my stomach.
I asked while looking around for a place to go in.
It was a bit disappointing that my mental map of good eats had been reset.
"Sanghyeok? Anything you wanna eat?"
"Me? Well..."
Hmm. Where should I take her?
Yuuna stared at me with wide eyes.
"...Hanwoo omakase?"
"Pfft...!"
What? No cows in this world?
"Ah, sorry... Why Hanwoo all of a sudden? You rich or something, Sanghyeok?"
"Feels like it?"
"...Impressive, Onahole Collector. A student taking a girl out for Hanwoo on a date."
It was our first date, so splashing out a bit wasn't bad.
Yuuna giggled and continued.
"You sound like an old man!"
"......"
Old man indeed...
Seeing me deflate, Yuuna hurriedly backpedaled.
"Ah, not that I hate beef. Don't get the wrong idea? Ugh. You'll get fleeced by some gold digger at this rate?"
"So, skipping Hanwoo omakase, what do you wanna eat?"
"Tteokbokki...?"
Yuuna's suggestion made me burst out laughing this time.
"Puhaha."
What? Skipping beef for tteokbokki?
"What! You look down on tteokbokki?!"
"Puhuhu... You're such a kid."
"Tteokbokki is sooo good!"
Even academy students were still just students.
"You like fried stuff and sundae too, by any chance?"
"Love 'em!"
"Hahaha!"
"Why do you keep laughing?!"
Tteok, twigim, sundae—fair enough. I decided to go with Yuuna's picks.
"Over there. Let's go in there."
We entered the tteokbokki place Yuuna chose and sat facing each other at a table.
"I've been coming here since middle school... The mash potatoes and tteok are killer!"
"Oh, yeah?"
I nodded along with her excitement, waiting for the food.
At the next table, some even younger kids—not academy students—were chatting away over their meal.
Then they snuck over toward us.
"Um... Could we get a photo... just one?"
"......"
A photo? Out of nowhere?
"You know me?"
Three small, pale, squishy things crowded in, pushing each other to speak—like baby puppies.
"Oppa, aren't you the Jelly Guy...?"
"......"
...Jelly Guy?
Yuuna squeezed in to explain for my baffled self.
"Looks like your fans?"
"I have fans...?"
"You trended on Silt, Sanghyeok. Still pretty hot right now?"
Silt? Realtime trends? For real...?
The Student Council President had mentioned I had a favorable image,
but I never imagined pale, squishy schoolgirls would ask for pics as my fans.
"Oppa, you're so handsome..."
"...IRL is insane..."
"Can we take a photo?"
Fine, say I had fans.
But Personality Excretion fans this young? What kinda world was this!?
"Sure, I'll take one. But..."
I fumbled for words,
my voice trembling from embarrassment.
"Don't look up stuff like that too much. It's harmful."
"...Kyaa!"
"Yes, Oppa!!"
"Twin villains crushed by jelly magic—so cool!"
...I posed for pics while correcting the misunderstanding.
"They're not villains."
"But they bullied you?"
"Exchange match rules. No choice."
"Oh... Saw it on Shorts, didn't know."
Probably titled something like "How Jelly Guy Defeats the Twin Villains."
After the pics,
my self-proclaimed fans tapped away furiously, uploading to Dunsta.
Seeing #PersonalityExcretion made me dizzy.
"Unnie, are you Oppa's girlfriend...?"
"Uh, yeah. So?"
"You guys look great together!"
"So pretty!"
"Tha...nks?"
The squishy trio politely bowed 90 degrees with a "Enjoy your meal!" before giggling out of the shop.
...Innocent, pure kids like that saw that and became my fans.
"Kids shouldn't see stuff like that..."
"Huh? What?"
"...Perverse Personality Excretion disguised as cute 'jelly magic.' Kinda shocking."
"Everyone loves the sanitized version, so it's fine, right?"
Maybe.
Yeah, probably. I'd bury the vulgar truths I alone knew.
No desire to shatter the illusions of fans who adored "Jelly Guy."
"Ah. Here it is!"
The tteokbokki set arrived.
The mash potatoes Yuuna mentioned perched atop like freshly scooped red-sauced ice cream balls on garaetteok.
Looks tasty.
"Bringing a boyfriend today? Hot guy too. Hm?"
The auntie set down the bowls, glancing at me.
"Ah... Thank you."
"Eat up. Tall guy like you must eat a ton. Holler if you need more."
Yuuna was a regular here.
After auntie left, I asked Yuuna directly.
"Why come to your usual spot?"
"Wanna show it off to you. 'Cause it's good~."
The garaetteok was chewy, sauce spicy-sweet.
Classic tteokbokki taste I knew. Nothing more, nothing less... but
"Mm. Tasty! Here, try with the mash potatoes?"
Who you eat with matters a lot.
"Tasty."
The words slipped out naturally.
"Right? Eat this, then movie."
"Picked anything?"
"These two are playing now..."
Peeking at Yuuna's smartphone to choose,
time froze solid.
...En-chan time.
En-chan slid into the empty seat beside me.
"Not at all."
The tiny blonde goddess protested.
"This date isn't vulgar at all, Sanghyeok-nim."
Time-stopped, but I could still eat tteokbokki.
I chewed and said.
"If it wasn't vulgar, I'd have some deadly disease."
"Pussy's softer and warmer than tteok, obviously."
"......Don't compare to food..."
Ruins the taste.
I knew pussy was great, but say that in front of a dating couple...?
"No libido? Impossible, protagonist has infinite stamina."
"Not acting on it, that's all."
Every time Yuuna seemed lovable, my dick twitched,
but I didn't just ram it in to vent.
"Weird. You're both radiating pervert-mating pheromones, yet no sex."
"Here, you eat too."
"Omph."
I fed En-chan a thick garaetteok.
Cheeks stuffed, munching like a hamster—satisfying to feed.
"Good?"
"Good. Bit spicy."
"One more."
Shoved in another.
"Omph!? Stuffing my mouth with food won't..."
"Sheesh. Good eater."
Like an uncle with a niece, I patted her head.
"Can the pervert hold it in?"
"......Gulp..."
En-chan finished chewing slowly, then chugged my water.
"What's good about this wholesome date... Hoo...?"
"Dates are guys and girls who like each other eating together. Like me and En-chan."
"Guys and girls who like each other? You and me, Sanghyeok-nim?"
"Don't you?"
En-chan's cheeks flushed.
"I-I do... but I like pervert-sex Sanghyeok-nim best?"
"We do that too. Just resting now."
"No time to rest. So many heroine pussies in this world."
"How many?"
Suddenly curious, I asked.
How many absurdly pretty heroines like Serena or Yuuna were out there?
"Hm... 400 in Korea alone right now?"
"...Insane? When conquer them all?"
"Pervert mating fast! Heroines waiting on your choices."
"Total brainless sex game, huh."
400...
How'd they balance the content?
Game version had fewer, probably.
"Secret heroines" thinned the numbers.
"Why make Quintia so strong then?"
"You could fuck her. Quintia's a cry-pretty heroine, right angle to break her."
"...Rape to make her cry? Damn, wasteful. In."
I pulled back the third piece; En-chan grabbed my arm.
"Whyyy...! To the rape fairy ultimate beauty goddess En-chan for Sanghyeok-nim?"
"Rape fairy..."
Sigh.
What to do with this pervert goddess.
"Ah~ open."
"Ahh~!"
"This is how pure love girls eat from boyfriend. Got it?"
"Hahb♡"
En-chan munched my garaetteok with happy eye-smile.
"Delish... Omph..."
"Go now. Girlfriend time."
"Hmph. Don't think En-chan Pervert Patrol's done."
En-chan retreated with cute exit line.
"...Huh?"
Yuuna tilted her head at my empty bowl.
"...When'd you finish?"
"So good, inhaled it. Another round."
"Hmm?"
Moved too obviously in time-stop.
"Here, share my garaetteok."
"Feed me mouth-to-mouth."
Yuuna flinched.
"Embarrassing..."
"No one's watching. Hurry."
Feeder's more embarrassed, huh.
Yuuna fed me, mumbling.
"...Ahhng..."
Nyam nyam.
Lunch tteokbokki was spicy-sweet.
"My fork... okay?"
"Not okay? No kisses then?"
"......W-We will."
The movie we held hands for in the couple seats was a war flick with tragic romance core.
Exiting, two girls beside me cried.
"Ugh... So... so sad..."
"Hueeng... Sanghyeok-nim... How, how could male lead leave heroine? Waaah."
......
This one kept popping time-stop on-off,
made me feel like dating two at once.
"Pure love good too? Ease up on pervert talk."
"Hic... That's why... In reality, such heartbreak happens... Sanghyeok-nim must lead world right...!"
"Lead what right."
"No sad parting heroines—pound every pussy into Sanghyeok-nim collection!"
"......"
...Severe case.
En-chan wasn't heartless pervert incarnate.
Not psychopathic personality-reviser churner...
Just heartbroken over no pervert sex before breakup.
Odd values, but not evil goddess.
Anyway, date continued.
"Yuuna cry if I died?"
"...Sanghyeok... die...?"
Now Yuuna cried!
Not bawling—thick tears plopping, panicking me.
Eyes fully wet, shoulders trembling—I hugged tight.
"Won't die! Why die? I'm alive."
Odd. Wanted girlfriend happy always,
yet her crying face stirred me deep.
"Don't die..."
"No dying here."
Yuuna clung tight.
Ignored onlookers. Stuck skinship-close, kneaded her ass.
......
Too perfect spot, slipped.
"Yuuna?"
No reaction?
"Hunters... see lotsa dead... Imagined too real..."
"......"
She'd seen corpses.
Forgot my academy girlfriend was pro hunter often.
As 2-week isekai newbie, pretty young Yuuna risking life felt alien.
"Next time, even if Quintia attacks, I'll protect you."
"Doubt it..."
"Can't win with single sword. So dual-wield. Learning new style...!"
"......Even thousand swords tough..."
Yuuna glared sharp.
"Hands off ass."
"......Yuuna beats Quintia easy! Dual-wield forever!"
Thought she missed it...
"Hmph, grope more."
......Thanks.
I fondled Yuuna's plump buns. Denim hotpants transmitted softness, bliss to my hands.
"Time left till dinner."
"Yeah, and?"
Yuuna shyly from my arms.
"......Wanna rest... somewhere...?"