Chapter 1

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Translator: penny

Chapter: 1

Chapter Title: Received a Special Bonus as an Apology

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The Tragic No-Erection Top "Onahole Academy"

Truth be told, I've never played it myself, so I wouldn't know. My roommate just rambled on about it out of nowhere, so I only got the barest gist.

That guy loved to yap his mind away, anyway. After listening to all that TMI, I had just one thought about the game "No-Erection Top."

'Gonna get some killer promo out of this.'

My roommate was the type who'd dump his entire life into online communities, a total idle moron who, if something rubbed him wrong, would channel a critic and chew on the same bait for days on end.

So I could kinda see why the Goddess was pissed. Even I could spot his tear-jerking (read: nauseating) obsession with slapping the "No-Dick" label on it.

I was shocked when I got yanked to another world out of the blue, but it seems like the misunderstanding's cleared up.

"Just send me back now."

"……."

She flinched. The Goddess's shoulders trembled.

"I've got work tomorrow."

"I'm sorry! I'm really, truly sorryyy... I've committed a mortal sin. Waaah...!"

"……Why are you apologizing so hard? Just send me back where I came from."

"It's just that..."

The Goddess, on her knees, spoke with eyes brimming with tears.

"I can't..."

"……."

"In a fit of anger... sniff... I used a massive power... and now I can't..."

"What?"

"Eek! I'm sorry!!"

As if realizing the gravity of her screw-up, she prostrated herself ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠flat again.

Then, like she'd just remembered something, she snapped her head up.

"Ah!"

"You thought of a way?"

"A special bonus! I'll give you special bonuses! This world's not so bad. Lots of pretty girls, and, and...!"

"No...!! I said send me back?"

"This too! This too! I'll give you all of it!"

"W-Wait... It's too much at once!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorryyy!! Waaah!"

Every single one of those seems like it was a rare skill you couldn't even glimpse on a normal route...

I didn't even need to think hard to know that.

She seems to be genuinely sorry. That realization kept my rising anger in check.

Finally, I saw the back of the Goddess's head as she bowed, ready to take whatever I dished out.

"Haa..."

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

"I-I completely, totally removed the difficulty! Why not think of it as enjoying a harem?"

"I only like pure love routes."

"……."

"This eroge is my friend's taste anyway. Honestly, I hate harems."

Sex is the fruit of love.

Content chasing seems too violent for me, and beastly sex isn't my thing.

I'd just been browsing my collection of pure love scenes before bed, like always.

I'm a total stranger to this eroge—completely unrelated, you could say.

Once I made my tastes crystal clear, the Goddess went pale.

"……It might be a tough ask, but..."

"Tough ask?"

"From today... switch to the harem route... p-please... could you...?"

This sniffling golden-haired Goddess.

"……."

Tsk.

Guess I'll give it a shot? This tiny Goddess looked even more pitiful, crushed by guilt and on the verge of vanishing.

She'd impulsively slammed a huge amount of her power to kidnap someone from another world without a second thought. That meant...

She loved her creation so much, the hate comments had hurt her deeply.

She's got her cute side.

"That guy's words were pretty harsh, yeah."

"……Pardon?"

"I like pretty girls too."

Not into building a burdensome harem or whatever. That's just not my taste.

But living under one roof with a pretty girl? That's straight-up delightful for any guy.

Ah, but if it's an eroge, she's not a blood sister, right?

"Then..."

"I'll give it a try for now."

"You'll try..."

I said it fully aware this was a game.

But the Goddess looked thrilled.

"U-Uhehe... In a way... Kim Sanghyeok, you're the one player who can judge my true game without preconceptions...!"

"……."

When did she even learn my name...? Creepy.

"Anything I need to know? Suddenly I've got a family I don't recognize... Got a manual or something?"

"You don't need to know anything—with who you are now, Sanghyeok, there won't be any issues!! Just dive in! Ehehe!"

Her red-rimmed eyes now beamed with a bright smile.

……Fine. Who needs a manual? Games are meant to be played hands-on.

After the Goddess poofed away, I checked out the room first.

'Student ID.'

A card proving my enrollment at Etsol Academy... apparently.

Looks like I'm one grade above my little sister's level.

Overall evaluation: D-Rank.

'Not great, huh.'

I don't know about the original protagonist's backstory,

but a second-year with who's D-Rank overall? I'm pretty sure that's trash-tier.

'Clock.'

7:30.

For the sister who woke me up, I better head out soon. Gotta get along with the new family.

I felt my body tense slightly before turning the doorknob.

New world. New family. New life.

Who could've guessed a curveball like this would hit my same-old-daily life?

"Argh! This sucks. Why do we have to deal with that loser?"

"Stella. Voice down...! He'll hear up to the second floor."

"Good, let him. Because of that idiot, I'm too embarrassed to bring friends home."

Is that about me? Seems like a rough start already.

I nearly bailed while descending the stairs.

Getting called a "loser" by my little sister...? As an only child, I'm clueless to this sorts of things, but is this how siblings usually roll?

"Eavesdropping like a creep? Come out already! You're such a shady freak."

"Stella..."

"Mom's on a business trip starting today anyway. How about a house rule: the loser doesn't even breathe the same air as us?"

Down the stairs, I faced my two little sisters properly.

Serena was... stunning, even on a second look.

And her figure was killer.

Cute black bob cut, mysterious purple eyes that stirred the imagination. Her gentle, adorable face screamed it.

The type who can't say no to anyone...

……Just standing there was pure fanservice.

So this is what an eroge-optimized little sister looks like.

'...Her boobs are huge.'

I snuck a glance with my peripheral vision—staring would've been weird—but even over her clothes, those were massive.

"……."

Stella stared at me wide-eyed in shock.

Despite her barrage of insults ruining my first impressions, she was just as gorgeous as Serena.

Even while she's crossing her arms in hostility at me.

Bright blonde hair in a side tail, confident red eyes contrasting sharply with Serena's style.

'Classic eroge heroine look...'

...If word gets out that two girls like this live here, company scouts'll come knocking every other day.

Idol group or cheer squad, take your pick.

"...Oppa?"

Serena called me with wide eyes.

But this "Oppa" felt the most... packed with curiosity and interest, out of all the ones I'd heard.

Just as I'd been shocked by them, my sisters seemed stunned by their new big bro.

What do I say if they ask who I am?

The Goddess.She handled this properly, right?

"Serena."

I decided to test it once more.

"Yes..."

I came up close to her.

Serena straightened her back, looked up at me with huge eyes.

Mouth slightly agape in awe, blinking cutely.

"I'm your oppa... right?"

"Y-Yes...... Yes.... That's right.... You're my oppa..."

Then Stella's my sister too.

I whipped around, and the blonde girl flinched.

"Stella's my little sister too."

"……."

"You shouldn't say such harsh things to oppa."

"Wha..."

Stella looked confused, like her memories were jumbled.

Maybe because I looked nothing like the old oppa.

Either way, she seemed to realize this updated oppa wasn't some pushover loser. She clamped her mouth shut and turned away sharply.

"I'm heading out first."

"Breakfast?"

"I don't eat breakfast!"

Stella bolted off brusquely.

Left alone, Serena clasped her hands in front of her belly, fidgeting her fingers while stealing glances at my face.

"Serena?"

"......Ah, y-yes... Oppa..."

"Sorry for the weird question... but where's the bathroom again?"

Serena guided me with quick, pattering steps.

Man, the height difference is nuts.

"How tall are you?"

"One fifty... No! One sixty."

So I'm pushing 190cm? 186? 187?

That's like 15cm taller...

No wonder the air tasted different.

"Got it. Thanks."

Closed the bathroom door and faced the mirror.

'...What the hell. This god-tier pretty boy genius.'

A ridiculous situation drew a dry laugh from me.

I got why my sisters had fumbled after seeing me.

Any girl would freeze if a guy like this approached. Like going blank if a stunner suddenly closed in on you.

I was fine only because I knew this was a game's unrealistic setup.

"Ugh!"

I recoiled at the filthy, yellowed white tee like a dirty mop rag and chucked it.

Why was he wearing this crap?

Shirt off, and a sculpted body emerged. Wide shoulders hinted at it, but damn, it's gorgeous.

'Wow.'

First time staring at a guy's body and I'm losing track of time.

This is the Divine Body?

Face genius, body genius...... and even dick genius.

This chiseled-from-head-to-toe look felt like a game-exclusive skin.

"Status window."

"Hmm."

She said she'd nuked the difficulty entirely. But why not just bump me to level 9999 while she's at it?

I pondered why my stats were at 5, and why the bonuses lacked descriptions.

'She said she made this world, right?'

In other words, the eroge dev's desires.

She wanted players to fully enjoy her game—easy mode or not.

So rather than handing full cheats to one-shot the final boss,

she figured providing conveniences to savor her prepared events was smarter.

'It looked like she was dumping stuff randomly, but she actually planned it all.'

...What a devious pervy Goddess.

Still, I'm not into harems. I just want a solid job earning good money, marry a pretty girl who loves me, have three kids, and live happily ever after.

No need for the shady authorities, then.

'But...'

What the hell is Personality Excretion?

Some self-defense attack skill? Gotta test it later.