Chapter 0
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 0
Chapter Title: It's Not Something I Wrote
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It's not something I wrote.
Do you know about the eroge that got memed into oblivion for being a total NoFap experience?
"My Onahole Academy"
Shortened to "Onahole Academy".
It drew rave expectations from the industry's most respected perverted gentlemen critics, thanks to its meticulously crafted artwork and sprawling story. But after launch, it became a laughingstock due to that bizarre meme: No-Erection Top.
The art? Undeniably top-notch. The story? Solid enough. Yet when you hit the actual H-scenes, nothing stirs. Some works are just like that—nearly impossible to pin down exactly why they fall flat.
A matter of taste? Cultural differences?
Either way, Onahole Academy was undeniably a massive commercial hit. If it hadn't blown up, no mocking meme would have even spawned.
The publicity boost probably wasn't a bad thing for the creators... or so I figured.
"You bastard!! Hey! Read that vicious comment you wrote out loud with your own damn mouth!"
"......"
She seemed pretty pissed about it.
Right in front of me stood a fuming petite blonde beauty, with the very first comment that birthed the No-Erection Top meme hovering in the air before my eyes.
Weird. The text was floating around.
"Hurry up and read it, I said! Bet you never thought you'd get dragged in front of the source material herself, huh? Hah! I'm the goddess who made this game! Too late to regret it now!"
"An eroge this limp is a talent in itself."
"Ahh!?"
The goddess's knees nearly buckled as she made me read her hate mail, but she caught herself.
I read on, deadpan.
"An indescribable No-Erection aura envelops the entire work like a shroud. If you're planning some gold-fap edging, I highly recommend it."
"Ughhh!! Stop... s-stop it already......"
"......You told me to read it."
Where the hell was I? If the blonde cutie in front of me hadn't called herself a goddess, I could've brushed this off as a standard bachelor pad invaded by some psych ward escapee.
Problem was, this room didn't ring any bells in my memory.
A totally alien space.
"Any guilt I felt is gone now."
Suddenly, she got dead serious.
"What?"
"Too late to regret it now."
"You already said that. Why would I be regretting anything?"
The self-proclaimed goddess's words cut off abruptly. Footsteps then echoed through a doorway.
"Oppa. Time to get up."
Knock knock. A knock at the door.
No answer came from me. A small sigh is heard from the person on the other side, then the knob turned without warning.
"I'm coming in?"
I needed to figure out what the hell was going on before I could even yell.
I didn't have a little sister. Especially not one this ridiculously gorgeous.
A pure, black-haired girl poked her head in cautiously and stepped inside.
Her face was stiff, her voice calling to me flat and emotionless.
"You were awake. Why didn't you say anything?"
Her eyes... they looked anxious.
Like she was staring down a criminal on the verge of snapping.
As I shifted to sit up smoothly from the bed, she flinched and hunched her shoulders.
"Ah, then I'll head down first..."
"Hold on."
"What?"
She shot me a look like, Can't you see?
The blonde woman standing right here, bold as brass. Doesn't that strike you as weird?
Was she really some ethereal being? The uncomfortable silence only furrowed the girl's brow deeper.
"......Am I your oppa?"
"......"
Guess it was a weird question—she stared back with utterly baffled eyes.
Our conversation wasn't exactly flowing well...
The moment I looked ready to get up, the pretty black-haired girl bolted down the stairs.
The goddess giggled at me standing there, flustered.
"So, what do you think of Serena in the flesh? Still calling it NoFap material?"
I had a rough idea of the situation now.
The unreal beauty who'd just peeked in—her name was Serena.
And the way the goddess followed up by referencing NoFap... this had to be inside the game.
"Judging by that ugly mug of yours, conquering even one of my ace heroines would take you a millennium! Pfft!"
The goddess's antics solidified my suspicions.
Still, there was one misunderstanding I needed to clear up pronto.
"Goddess."
"Hmph. What? Having second thoughts about apologizing? Too late anyway."
I knew this cocky blonde packed some enigmatic power.
So I laid out the plain truth, as straight as it gets.
"It's not something I wrote."
"Eh?"
The goddess's eyes shook hard.
"The review. Wasn't me."
"L-lies! That's your account! I... I checked everything...!"
"Lent it to a buddy. He begged me after his own got banned."
"Hold on!"
Looked like she was verifying the facts with some divine hocus-pocus.
A moment later...
"S-sorrrrrryyyyy!"
The goddess was groveling on the floor in front of me.