First Kiss

"Aaaagh... Hwaaaaah!!!"

"...A-young."

"Let go!!! Daaaad...!!!"

My older sister wailed as she stared at Father's face, veiled by the cloth. She cried without a care that her carefully made-up face was being ruined.

"Dad... It's not true, Dad...!!!"

My brother-in-law and I could only stand by and watch her. If I broke down crying here, it would only make him more uncomfortable, so I held it in.

"Sir. This is my first time, so how do I apply for the funeral?"

"Yes... First, place him in the mortuary. There's a funeral hall right downstairs in the basement. So—"

"Dad isn't dead! He's not dead!!!!"

"...I'm sorry. I think we'll have to do this later. Right now I'm the only chief mourner, so it won't work."

"Ah... Yes."

"Hwaaaaaaaaaah!"

Because my sister kept crying and making a scene, we couldn't even hold the funeral. Fortunately Mother woke up the next day, but she decided to stay in the hospital for a few days. Hearing the news about Father had drained her completely; she was in no state to do anything. The only person left who could still communicate properly was me. We needed to send him off quickly so the emotions could settle, yet these two women showed no intention of cooperating at all.

"Mr. Park Ji-chul~ Could you come this way for a moment?"

"Yes."

I stepped out of the hospital room where Mother was staying and followed the nurse to a counseling office. Inside, I spoke with the doctor.

"You've arrived."

"Why did you call for me?"

"Due to our hospital facilities, we can only keep the body for one week. So you'll need to proceed with the funeral as soon as possible."

"Ah... I'm sorry. My family isn't cooperating... Could we do it starting tomorrow?"

"Yes, please do. Shall I register it for you?"

"Yes. Thank you."

It was a relief I was old enough to earn money. If I'd still been a student, I probably would have ended up sucking on cigarettes and sliding straight into juvenile delinquency.

"What did they say...?"

"We're holding the funeral starting tomorrow. Encoffining is Wednesday at three ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠in the afternoon, and the departure is Thursday at two."

"I see... Our son's all grown up. Thank you for handling everything in Mother's place."

"Will you come too? As chief mourner."

"Of course. I have to be there. What about your sister?"

"I don't know. She's not answering her phone."

"Still, try contacting her. We can't hold the funeral without her."

"Yeah..."

I sighed and pulled out my smartphone. Next to my sister's name in the recent calls tab sat the number 24.

Instead of calling my sister and turning that number into 25, I dialed my brother-in-law. His voice was far more hoarse than I expected.

"Yes. Hyung. Is my sister next to you by any chance?"

"What...?"

"Haa..."

That crazy bitch had really lost her mind. Things were hard enough already—why make them harder?

"I understand. Don't take it too hard. Once she gets better, she'll contact you again."

"Mom. I'm going to stop by the house for a bit. Hang in there. Oh, and the uncles said they'd help."

"Alright. Don't come back—get some rest. Don't worry about me."

"Okay. See you tomorrow."

I headed straight for the place where my sister lived alone. I already knew the password; there was no way she would have changed it in the middle of this chaos.

"Noona."

"......"

A ten-pyeong one-room apartment with a monthly rent of three hundred fifty thousand won. I'd been to a few of my friends' places, but at least my sister kept hers tidy enough that the usable space felt larger.

"Why did you come...?"

She looked up at me with eyes swollen red, as if all the crying had left her drained. She must have taken off her bra; through the single layer of fabric her nipples stood out, the wrinkled shapes fully visible. As if waiting for an answer, her gaze dropped back to the floor.

"We're holding the funeral tomorrow, so get ready. Don't even think about not showing up."

"...Okay."

"Have you ea—no, of course you haven't. I bought bananas. Want one?"

"No... I'm fine..."

"Just eat it. Don't be like that. Obviously you haven't had anyth—"

"I said I'm fine!!!!"

"Who the hell do you think you're yelling at!!"

"Hic...!"

"Say one more word like that and I'll fucking kill you for real."

I clenched the fist that wanted to rise and barely managed to keep my emotions in check. I understood why she was acting this way, but for fuck's sake, I needed a little understanding too.

"Haa... Eat. I'm not leaving until I see you eat."

"Okay..."

Reluctantly she peeled the banana I held out and took a bite. Like a child eating after a long cry, she chewed with her lips stuck out in ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠a pout.

"Here. Milk."

"I'm sorry..."

"For what."

"For keeping on whining..."

"...I'm sorry for yelling too."

After confirming she had downed the milk in one go, I gathered the clothes I'd left on the chair.

"I'm going. Come by around... twelve tomorrow."

"Ji-chul..."

"Yeah."

She had only eaten half the banana when she set it down and caught my collar.

"I broke up."

"...I know. I heard."

"Really? Ji-young told you?"

"Yeah."

"I see..."

She let out a long sigh.

"Shit... I'm a real fucking idiot, right."

"Yeah."

"Fuck..."

No, she called herself an idiot first. Why get mad when I agreed? Of course we played around like this all the time. I was the first to know she was dating. I was the first to know when they fought. And now I was the first to know they had broken up.

"I'm going."

"Ji-chul."

"What now."

She grabbed my collar again. The height difference meant I had to look down, and her cleavage and areolas peeked out just enough to notice.

"Do you have to go to the hospital right now?"

"No? I was going to sleep at home and grab a suit while I'm at it."

"Oh, really?"

"Why?"

Suddenly she acted all familiar and hugged me from behind. She was still as defenseless as ever.

"Can't you sleep at my place tonight?"

"Out of nowhere...?"

"Yeah. I'm scared being alone."

"Ji—never mind."

"Hm? What?"

"Nothing. Then I'll just go home and grab the suit."

"Or should I go sleep at your place?"

"...No, it's better if I come back here."

Because my room still reeked of a man—bluntly speaking, of jacking off. Even without the night-flower smell, she would know what it was.

"Alright."

I hurried home with the image of her chest and nipples still burned into my mind. Our places were only five minutes apart; she used to come over all the time. Come to think of it, I hadn't jerked off in two days. Why the hell did she have to show me something so vulgar for no reason? It was pissing me off. Even a dick that hadn't been hard was standing up now.

"......"

The funeral lasted three days, so if I didn't do it today I wouldn't get another chance for two more. I was going to shower anyway—might as well take care of it. For the record, just because I got hard looking at my sister didn't mean I jerked off to her.

"I'm back."

"What took you so long?"

"Took a shower. Cleaned my room too. Won't be home for three days."

The apartment felt completely different from earlier. The dust had been wiped away, and the tear-soaked tissues were nowhere in sight. She had also changed clothes, so the protruding wrinkled parts were gone.

"Have you eaten?"

"No... I'm hungry though."

"Want me to order something? My treat."

"Yes! Is there anything you want, Noona?"

"No, I'll just eat whatever Ji-chul's having."

"Then that place. The tonkatsu shop. Cheese tonkatsu."

"Okay. You're taking out the vegetables, right?"

"Yeah."

I placed the order through the delivery app for the tonkatsu lunchbox place. Unchecked the default "no utensils" option and checked the "no vegetables" box. That was the golden rule for picky eaters.

"Thanks for the meal."

"Yeah."

For a moment the funeral-house atmosphere was almost forgotten. Even my sister, who usually ate little, cleaned her plate because she was so hungry.

"I'm going to wash up."

"Do you have a toothbrush?"

"Hmm... There should be one by the sink. I'll set it out if it's there."

"Okay."

After she finished washing and came out, I brushed my teeth while breathing in the leftover body wash—or rather, my sister's scent—that still lingered in the bathroom.

"Where do you want to sleep? Against the wall?"

"Huh? I was going to sleep on the floor."

"Why, when there's a bed."

"Isn't it too narrow?"

"No. It's a double, so it's wide."

"......"

Morally I should have refused and lain on the floor. But today I wanted to ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠feel some warmth, so I climbed onto the same bed. I deliberately took the inner side in case she rolled off.

"Good night."

"Yeah."

We slept back to back. Warmth seeped through the blanket along with a woman's scent. Whether it was tension over tomorrow's funeral or something else, sleep wouldn't come easily.

"Ji-chul."

"......"

"Ji-chul, are you awake?"

"...No."

I had planned to ignore her the first time and just sleep, but she called me again. Afraid she might say something weird, I deliberately made my voice sound sleepy.

"The wall's too cold, so I'm looking at you."

"...And?"

"Just... your back is broad."

"Use that time to sleep instead of talking nonsense."

"Can't I sleep looking at you?"

"Why."

"Because I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

"After I introduced him as the guy I was going to marry, I didn't see Dad's face for months. We were too busy."

"...Yeah, we were."

For the record, the formal meeting with the families had already happened without me. Thanks to that, I knew no one except my ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠brother-in-law—no, Ji-young hyung. Originally I was going to greet them on the day itself... but that never happened either.

"So I was afraid I might forget your face too..."

"Don't say ominous shit like that. You were staring at it plenty just a little while ago."

"Really, I can't?"

"Haa..."

Right now my lower half was sending stimulation from every direction, begging to get hard—and I was supposed to turn around and face her like this...? Even if we were family, absolutely not. No—because we were family, even more so.

"Happy now?"

"...Huu... Hwiing...!"

"Jesus, why are you crying again."

The moment our eyes met, she started sobbing bitterly once more. The sight made my own chest tighten, so I turned my gaze upward. I filled my head with the useless thought that the headboard was pretty well made.

"Hic, huuuk..."

"......"

She nestled against me, and a warm sensation spread. I stroked her hair while blinking away my own tears.

"......"

"......"

When I came to my senses, her face—which had been against my chest—was right in front of my nose. Tear tracks still clear on her cheeks, she snored softly in her sleep. I tried to imagine how she must have slept before I arrived, but only horrific scenes came to mind.

"Huu..."

No—her face was closer than it looked. If I moved even a little, something would touch and she would wake. It was exactly the position people deliberately put themselves in when they were drunk and wanted an easy kiss.

Rustle—

She drew even closer. Looking down, I could clearly see her cleavage. No wonder her chest had looked bigger than usual—she was wearing a padded bra.

...What the hell is wrong with me, thinking things like this in a situation like this.

Talking in her sleep, she inched a little closer still. Her eyes were right in front of me, the bridge of her nose almost brushing mine, and beneath that were her lips. For some reason I didn't move. I didn't want to move. Instead, completely naturally, I tilted my head just a little toward her.

"......"

And so our lips met as if it were the most natural thing in the world. My sister still has no idea that this was my first kiss.