I Picked Up a Wild Outer God
“Ugh…”
“Hey…”
“Damn it, this bastard.”
Thud!
“Get up, you little shit!!”
“Gah!”
I flailed my arms wildly to keep from toppling backward, barely managing to steady myself. Still groggy, I clutched my head and looked around. Dozens of icy stares met mine.
“Your turn, Troll.”
The male student who had woken me pointed ahead with the same cold gaze. Following his finger, I saw the professor standing at the lectern, eyes fixed on me. Only then did I remember what I was supposed to do.
“Ah, right.”
I stood up from my chair and started toward the lectern.
“Whoa!”
Crash!
Something tripped me, sending me sprawling across the floor.
“Ow, ow, ow…”
Rubbing my throbbing knee, I glanced back. A male student was quietly pulling his leg back under his desk. I could have called him out, but I didn’t have the courage to face the professor’s scolding if I delayed any longer. Gritting my teeth against the pain, I pushed myself up and continued forward.
The professor stood tall and imposing in front of the lectern, looking down at me with frigid eyes.
“Raise your hand.”
In his outstretched palm rested a small crystal orb. I placed my hand on it lightly. A faint light began to glow, gathering into a single number.
The professor read it aloud.
“Zero.”
“Pfft…!”
Laughter erupted around me. I managed to hold mine back, but the damage was already done. The professor made no move to stop it, as if mockery was only natural.
“You’ve broken your own record for lowest score again, Arthur.”
I hung my head, unable to argue.
“Don’t think you can stay in this academy forever with zero mana. You know the practical evaluation period is coming up soon, don’t you? Fail that, and you’ll be expelled for poor grades.”
“What? But if we include the written exam, my total is over fifty—”
“Not this time. If you had even a single point of mana, it might be different. Even ordinary people score around five. But you? Over a year, and it’s still zero. Brains are useless if you can’t apply the knowledge.”
The professor waved his hand through the air, summoning a scroll accompanied by a swirl of light.
“This is permission from the headmaster.”
A crimson seal marked the scroll.
“Our academy exists to train exceptional magicians. A magician who cannot use magic is a contradiction in terms.”
I had no rebuttal. Every word was true.
I attended the Imperial Magic Academy. I had passed the notoriously difficult written exam with a perfect score and entered with pride. The problem was my constitution. Since childhood, my body had never, ever accumulated even a trace of mana. In this Magic Empire, at an academy dedicated to raising elite magicians, I was the only one incapable of using magic. Even ordinary citizens—farmers in the countryside—could perform basic spells if they tried. But not me.
“You don’t belong here. I suggest you withdraw before you’re disgracefully expelled.”
The moment he finished, laughter exploded from every direction.
“Puhahaha!”
“Pfft…! Professor, isn’t that a bit harsh?”
“Heeheehee!”
The sound filled my ears. I barely resisted the urge to cover them.
----
“Haa…”
Once inside the dormitory, I dragged myself to my bed and collapsed onto it.
“Sigh…”
Only sighs escaped me. How was I supposed to score anything on a practical exam that assumed the use of magic when I couldn’t use it at all? Failure was inevitable. So was expulsion.
The word “expulsion” was terrifying enough for any student, but for me it carried extra weight. I had nowhere else to go. Abandoned by my parents, I had grown up in a strict orphanage. A nameless sponsor who saw potential in me had paid for my academy entrance exam. But several months ago, the sponsorship stopped, and word came that the orphanage had closed. In the eastern dialect, I had become an egg abandoned in the river.
“…My life is over.”
Yes. As of today, my life had an expiration date. The respirator keeping me alive had just been unplugged.
Lying on the bed with a heavy heart, my eyelids began to droop despite my troubled mind.
“Ah, I shouldn’t have stayed up studying all night… It was pointless anyway…”
----
I dreamed.
For the past few weeks, I had been having similar dreams. The starting location changed slightly each time, but I always ended up at the same staircase. This time was no different.
I was walking down an empty academy corridor when, instead of the usual large door, a staircase appeared. It led downward into pitch-black darkness where not even an inch ahead could be seen. An overwhelming urge to descend gripped me, and I began to walk down.
My body felt strangely buoyant, as if submerged in water, yet my mind remained clear. The number of steps registered automatically in my head. After exactly seventy steps, two men with dark skin and ears twice as long as a human’s stood blocking the path ahead, forming a living wall.
‘Um… Could I get by, please?’
The moment I spoke, their eyes—eyes that seemed to hold endless years—snapped toward me. They scanned me from head to toe, then stepped aside in perfect unison.
‘Ah, um. Thank you.’
I passed between them and continued down the next flight. This staircase seemed truly endless. The count passed three digits and kept going. When I finally set foot on the seven-hundredth step, I found myself in a dense forest.
‘Here again.’
This was the fifteenth time I had entered this forest the same way. Unlike on the stairs, my body moved freely. I walked through the woods with familiar steps until I reached my destination.
“Hello, little cat?”
A large rock sat in the forest. Beneath it, in a small crevice, was a tiny cat.
“Meow.”
“Oh, your color looks much better. You might be walking soon.”
This was the same cat I had found the first time I came here. It had been badly wounded, its blood staining the ground red. I had wrapped its injuries in leaves. Because it was a dream, the bleeding stopped quickly, but the cat had trembled pitifully, unable to regain consciousness. Moved by its abandoned, injured state, I had returned every time since, bringing fruit and nursing it with care.
“Let me see your wound.”
“Nyaa~”
As if understanding, the cat immediately rolled over, showing its white belly. The once-severe wound had shrunk to almost nothing.
“It’s almost healed. Thank goodness.”
“Meow~”
When I stroked its head, the cat purred happily and rolled around.
“You’re a cute one.”
I scooped the rolling cat into my arms and lay down on the grass.
“…Little cat. Something really bad happened today.”
“Nyaa?”
“I told you before that I can’t use magic, right?”
“Nyaa.”
“…If I fail the practical exam this time, they’ll expel me from the academy.”
“Nyaa?”
The cat tilted its head, as if asking, What’s the problem with that?
“I have nowhere else to go. My parents are gone, the sponsorship stopped, and the orphanage closed.”
I hugged the cat to my aching chest. Its faint, steady heartbeat felt warm and healing.
“If I get kicked out… In a country that worships magic above all else, there’s no way for me to survive. Haha… I might starve to death on the streets.”
“Nyaa!”
“Huh? Don’t say that? I don’t want to either, but… the situation really is hopeless. Even when I try to think positively, I keep spiraling.”
“……”
“Huh? Why’d you go quiet?”
The cat below me seemed deep in thought.
“Pfft, a thinking cat. Even in a dream, that’s a stretch.”
Chuckling to myself, I rolled halfway over.
“……If only I could use magic.”
I muttered the words I had repeated hundreds, thousands of times.
Then—
“Want me to help?”
“…………Huh?”
A voice came from somewhere. I bolted upright and looked around, but there was no one—no shadow of a person.
“…What?”
Was it just my imagination?
“Over here. Here.”
The voice came again. This time I could pinpoint the source. I turned my head stiffly downward.
The cat was staring straight up at me.
“Want me to help?”
Its triangular mouth moved cutely, but instead of a meow, a neutral voice spoke.
My mind raced.
A dream world. Endless stairs. A dense forest. A talking… cat. Could it be?
On a whim, I whispered,
“Alice?”
“……Who’s that?”