Chapter 77 18. Tirpe (3)
Tirpe (3)
Episode 78
A fierce storm of wind and rain swept through. My still-unhealed body trembled violently.
Amidst that storm, a woman took step after step.
『"Holy Eye" attempts to stabilize mental corruption from an unknown source.』
『Failure.』
The downpour made it nearly impossible to even keep my eyes open.
Yet I pressed on—a few steps, then dozens more, staggering but moving forward.
"Huff... huff..."
My breath hitched in my throat. The rain-soaked clothes, though thin, felt unbearably heavy under the laws of the Outer Dimension.
The temperature of the raindrops was erratic, sending my body temperature fluctuating wildly until even my mind grew hazy.
Still, I didn't stop walking.
I had to get as far away from the cave as possible.
Whoooosh—
The hair brushing against my calves fluttered wildly in the gale.
Zzzt—
『"Holy Eye" questions the compatibility of the "Record."』
Suddenly, my heart clenched.
Grrrk—
The circuits in my chest, still struggling to accept the Record, twisted in protest.
But I gritted my teeth and endured. Even as I swayed unsteadily, I refused to lose my balance.
Yet my body's limits finally caught up to me.
"Kkh—!"
My legs tangled beneath me, and I crashed headfirst onto the ground.
"Haah... Aah..."
Gasping for air, I looked up at the sky—only for it to streak past in a blur.
Raindrops fell against my pupils, each one striking at a different speed and size.
Everything in this world was wrong.
Tirpe, watching it all, let out a hollow laugh.
The rainwater seeping through her torn clothes felt especially biting.
It was as if the cold had crept into the gaps in her chest, exposing her vulnerabilities, however briefly.
She had never felt this kind of deprivation before. The emptiness of failure was something she could endure endlessly.
But not this time.
'What... am I even doing?'
She knew the reason, at least in part. It was because of him.
If she had never known that warmth to begin with, this pain would have been nothing. She could have brushed it off without a second thought.
Tirpe lowered her eyes in self-loathing.
She couldn't forgive herself for even thinking this way.
No matter what else, she could never bring herself to deny the time she had spent with him. That was unforgivable.
Suddenly, her lips trembled. Fists clenched in frustration.
—P-please... save me...
She had almost killed his sister.
So she had no right to act spoiled.
A criminal who had nearly slaughtered tens of thousands in this lifetime had no place by his side.
So it was better to disappear—if only to avoid becoming his burden.
Even as she told herself that, her throat quivered.
"Ha... ha... Hahahaha!"
Nothing about this decision could have been easy. He was the first person who had ever made her heart race.
Even knowing her own mind was in danger, she had selfishly wanted to stay by his side until the very end.
He was the kind of person who might have forgiven even a sinner like her—one drenched in endless blood.
But in the end, she was a sinner.
She had wronged everyone, and she had to pay the price for it.
And now, the one who would judge her was approaching from afar.
Whoooosh—
A massive vortex warped the sky as it drew near.
The rain pounding against her body grew fiercer.
Her body shivered under the icy downpour. At times, steam rose from her skin as if she'd been scalded. But Tirpe didn't rise from where she sat.
'Thank you.'
Rainwater dripped from her forehead, rolling down her cheek before scattering into nothing.
Tirpe's head drooped at the same time.
For offering even a single kind word to someone like me—someone others shunned.
Whether you meant it or not, your words were truly warm.
So I won't regret this decision.
As long as I selfishly cling to you,
'...I'll only end up hurting you.'
Thank you. For teaching me, for the first time, what it means to feel my heart flutter.
And goodbye.
Tirpe closed her eyes.
All that remained was to wait for her body to be swallowed by the storm.
Yet—why?
"Wait, if you stay there, you'll actually die."
She could have sworn she heard that voice.
#
『Reading Tirpe's traces.』
Across the land of swirling, lawless mist, golden footprints glowed faintly.
I had debated turning back several times.
At my current level, getting caught in the Outer Dimension's storm meant certain death.
Abandoning Tirpe would have been the right call.
She had left all the food and supplies in the cave, so I could at least survive until the storm passed.
...But I dismissed that shallow reasoning.
—...Th-thank you.
Her face—grateful even when I merely handed her the jerky she had packed herself, even when I selfishly let my emotions run wild—refused to leave my mind.
A woman who had faced despair countless times yet never lost her innocence.
I didn't want to let a woman like that die, burdened by nothing but tragedy.
What could I even say to change her mind?
I had agonized over it endlessly, but—
"......."
The moment I saw Tirpe's face, all those calculated words vanished.
Her rain-streaked, disheveled face.
Her exhausted appearance radiated nothing but misery.
Her gaunt body, drenched in the rain, looked like a drowned rat.
Her black pupils, submerged in rainwater, were utterly lifeless.
"...Why... are you here...?"
Even in her trembling, disbelieving voice, there was no trace of energy left.
"Let's go. A storm's coming."
I spoke to her with deliberate calm.
She averted her eyes from me and weakly shook her head.
"...Go back. There's nowhere for me to return to."
I stopped beside her and watched her for a long moment. She refused to meet my gaze until the very end.
"...?"
I stepped closer to her and tossed the letter she had left behind. For a brief moment, Tirpe stared at the letter being soaked by the rain before lifting her eyes to look at me.
"If you have something to say to your family, tell them yourself. Don't make someone else deliver the news like a funeral announcement."
Tirpe let out a small, bitter laugh.
"...I don't have the face to go back to them. ...Have you forgotten?"
Her resigned irises peeked through the wet strands of her black hair.
"I... have committed too many sins."
Suddenly, an inexplicable anger rose inside me as I looked at her face.
"So, you're just going to die like this?"
"That's... the only fitting end for my crimes... I'm nothing but a failure who accomplished nothing."
A dry laugh escaped me before I could stop it. And before I knew it, I snapped at her.
"Or are you just scared to do anything now? So... you're running away."
Tirpe fell silent for a moment before lowering her eyes and nodding. She didn't even have the strength to deny it.
"...That might be true. But... everything I wanted to achieve... you'll accomplish it all in my stead, won't you? So, the only thing left for me is atonement. You... just live. The circuit I wrote down for you—"
"Oh, that? I tore it up."
Tirpe's eyes narrowed. Then, she reached into her coat and pulled out another sheet of paper.
Her trembling hands channeled mana as she began sketching diagrams and writing.
Her already pale complexion grew even more corpse-like.
Unable to watch any longer, I snatched it from her. And tore it to shreds again.
Tirpe stared at me, her face still drained of color.
"...Why?"
"Useless. I'm hopeless with this kind of thing."
Tirpe, who had been watching me, let out a hollow laugh.
"...Stop... forcing yourself..."
I could hear her teeth grinding.
"Guess I'll only understand if you teach me yourself."
Finally, Tirpe's eyes flew wide open. She clawed at her throat, raising her voice.
"...Stop pretending! Your ability is closer to interpretation, isn't it?! Without this, you'll die...! You'll die! Aren't you scared?! For you, this death will be the end! You—you've never died before! Dying is... it's... it's...!"
"So, death is something light to you too? Even though it'd be your last?"
Tirpe flinched, her breath hitching. She covered her face with her hands and let out a broken laugh.
"...Keh... keh... I'm a criminal, hated by everyone. I'm not like you."
Then, her face twisted into a spasm.
"I nearly killed tens of thousands of people!! If I die... everyone's hatred will disappear. So why are you stopping me?! Are you pitying me?! Is that why... why are you making me suffer like this?! You were going to kill me in the end anyway, weren't you?! You could never forgive me, so you were going to kill me!!"
Tirpe thrashed in the rain, howling in fury.
In the past, watching her break down like this would have made me feel pity.
But not now.
『Optimal Progression is active.』
『「Censored Ability」 is active.』
I didn't want to pity her. I never had the right to begin with. No one has the right to look down on others with sympathy.
Because she, too, was a precious person.
I just didn't want to trample on all the effort she had put in.
"You've done enough."
Because, in my eyes, she was a woman who had never lost her noble ideals.
I simply didn't think this was the right end for her.
"!"
But as if refusing to accept it, Tirpe shuddered.
"...N-No, I—I've committed so many sins beyond just you. Your sister, so many other women, tens of thousands—maybe even more—I sacrificed them all. And yet... and yet, what reason is there for a failure like me to live...?!"
After screaming herself hoarse, she glared at me, demanding an answer.
I looked down at her coldly.
"Yeah. You don't deserve to live. You've sinned."
Tirpe let out a ragged breath and sneered.
"S-See... I told you—"
"But you still tried to live."
Her sunken eyes trembled violently.
Tirpe lifted her head, her widened eyes locked onto mine.
"You still tried to live, even when it was so hard."
『Protagonist Synchronization Rate — 173.2%』
A delayed shock rippled through Tirpe's pupils. Her delicate brow furrowed deeply. Emotions too vast to measure surged from within her.
Her face twisted as if she had given up entirely, her lips contorting in an attempt to smile. But in the end, she couldn't.
Unable to withstand the torrent of emotions any longer, she finally lost all reason.
"Shut... shut up, shut up!! You think... you think anyone wants to die like this?!"
It was a scream so violent it felt like blood would spray from her throat. Her eyes bulged to the point of nearly popping out. Yet even then, she clutched her face and shrieked—as if refusing to let anyone see, as if isolating herself.
"...Just let me die! G-Go, go away!! Leave me alone! I'm exhausted. I don't... I don't want to suffer anymore. This... this is my atonement!"
Things that even the rain couldn't wash away streamed from her eyes.
"...Just leave me alone!!"
The Regressor writhed and howled.
"..."
Her wretched state was the product of self-loathing.
Perhaps because of her inherently kind nature, her aggression never turned outward—only inward.
She hurt only herself, burying herself in isolation.
Maybe from the very beginning, she had been crumbling under the weight of her own self-blame.
The only reason she had held herself together at all was through the forced repetitions of time's regression.
In that way, she was closer to the Park Ha-rin of later years.
"...I... I don't want to be like this...! I'd rather start over. From the beginning, from before everything went wrong, from the very start!"
And so, all that spilled from her lips now was pure agony. Emotions too violent for a human body to contain.
『Reading Tirpe's subconscious』
But I understood her. More than that—I resonated with her, deep in my chest.
"The mistakes you've already made can't be undone."
The beast-like howling stopped. Now, she glared at me with eyes full of resentment, as if she wanted to kill me. To her, I said:
"Then cover those mistakes with even greater good."
The darkness in her gaze shifted.
"First, save your own life. Then, save mine."
Her bloodless cheeks began to twitch.
"If you're gone, I'll become a Wanderer. So you save me. No—only you can."
Slowly, despair seeped into her deranged pupils.
"Without you, I'll just turn into a Wanderer and won't be able to save anyone. So you save me. And then, you save more people than the weight of the sins you've committed. Instead of letting someone else deliver the news to your family, live until you can tell them what you want to say yourself."
Tirpe let out a hollow laugh. But then she furrowed her brows and lowered her head.
Everyone has their circumstances. But in the end, the consequences are their own responsibility. Running from them is not atonement—not in my eyes. That's why I wanted her to live and atone.
Maybe even this was just my personal opinion, my own selfishness.
But I didn't want to stand by and watch her as if she were a stranger.
"Ha... ha..."
As she wept, consumed by self-blame, she reminded me of Park Se-eun from three years ago—or maybe even Park Ha-rin before she changed.
『Protagonist Synchronization Rate - 173.8%』
And so, I pulled out her true feelings.
"You don't actually want to die, do you?"
The reluctance left in her footsteps made it obvious. Just how desperately she wanted to live.
"I... I..."
Tirpe, clutching her head, stammered. Her trembling eyes looked lost, unsure of what to do.
I didn't have any desire to defend a criminal. Even if this outcome might look like forgiveness...
I wasn't some Hero obsessed with abstract justice in the first place.
I was just trash, the kind of bastard who only cared about building a harem and bedding women.
Tirpe, watching me standing against the storm, asked:
"...Why... why go this far for me...? Coming all the way here... for someone like..."
Her murmurs were nearly swallowed by the wind. But I heard them clearly—because her voice sounded like she wanted to be heard.
"Because I don't want you to die."
"But... my sins..."
"Take that up with the Apostles of Justice. I'm not interested in that crap."
Something other than rainwater welled up in Tirpe's eyes as she looked up at me.
Her weak spots surfaced across her despairing face.
A face I had seen before.
The face of Park Se-eun, who had been at odds with me from the start. Or perhaps, the face I might have seen in Park Ha-rin.
And so, I said:
"You don't have to agonize over it anymore. Just do what you want. Just don't cross the line. If you die, there'll be people who grieve. As for your sins... well, I can help make sure I get exempted from blame alongside you."
Tirpe's eyes painted clear tears as she listened.
"Stop blaming yourself and live unashamed."
I grabbed her slumped arm and pulled her up. After hesitating, she tried to rise with my support—but even that was too much, and she staggered. With a bitter smile, I steadied her.
Her darkened pupils, freed from the shadows, began to gleam.
"I..."
"Ah, no more negativity. Sure, you're a murderous bitch, but you're not rotten to the core, are you?"
Like driving home a point, I spoke to her slumped form.
"That's why I don't want you to die."
The Regressor's expression trembled at my words. Then, slowly, it twisted.
A sound escaped her lips—emotions that couldn't be purged by screaming alone.
Yet she couldn't hold them back either.
"Ha... hahaha... Ahahahaha..."
The regressor contorted her tear-streaked face into a grimace before dropping her head onto my chest. Something hot—not rainwater—seeped into my shirt.
Tirpe clenched her eyes shut, desperately trying to hold back her tears.
But the sobs forced their way out anyway. She wailed openly now, unleashing years of pent-up sorrow as if unraveling a tightly wound spool.
"......"
I gently stroked the back of her head. I didn't know if this counted as comfort, but it had to be better than doing nothing.
At some point, the storm had shifted closer to us. Even so, I braced her back to keep her from collapsing. The grip she had on me tightened in return.
When her crying finally subsided, the regressor lifted her gaze to mine. Her eyes, unwavering even in the downpour, locked onto me.
"Would you... also grieve if I died?"
I hesitated, too embarrassed to answer immediately.
But the moment I met Tirpe's eyes, I forced a bitter smile and replied.
"...A little. Just... a tiny bit."
It was an awkward, half-hearted admission—one I couldn't even fully own up to.
But a woman's intuition must be impossible to deceive, because a faint smile curled on her lips. It was subtle, but unmistakably happy. And only then did the blurry outline of her face finally sharpen in my vision.
Right. What I had wanted to see wasn't someone else's misery.
Whether viewed from afar or up close, it was nothing more than a happy ending—a farce that was comedic no matter the angle.
Even if she didn't deserve such an ending, I still wanted to witness it with her.
My reason? Simply... because I didn't want Tirpe to suffer any more than this.
Even if her mistakes couldn't be undone, they could still be buried beneath greater achievements.
『Protagonist Synchronization Rate — 174.6%』
That was all I truly wished for.
The rain continued to fall. But between us, there was none. The distance where even our breaths could've touched had vanished. Without hesitation, we met each other's eyes first, and Tirpe reached out to brush my cheek.
Her palm—cold, then hot—trembled against my skin with an unreadable intensity.
I pulled her slender body closer. The regressor didn't resist, closing her eyes as I did.
Her body heat pressed against mine, tentative and careful. And when our lips finally met, Tirpe's were as soft and warm as ever. Unstoppable, even by the rain.
Whoooosh—
The storm raged as if trying to tear us apart. But we paid it no mind, sealing our lips together as though we were the only two people in another world entirely.
The downpour lashed at us violently, as if trying to sweep us away. Yet we only deepened the kiss, tongues tangling as though devouring each other.
I pushed her until her breath grew ragged before slowly pulling back. Tirpe gazed at me with lingering longing and asked:
"...Do you regret it?"
The storm howled like a blade's edge, mere inches away.
Through the wind-tossed strands of her hair, her face watched me.
I grinned and answered without hesitation.
"How could I, when I'm dying beside a beauty?"
Then I laughed.
Tirpe let out a quiet chuckle in response.
Swoooosh—
The violently gleaming winds closed in on Tirpe. Her face blurred as the light engulfed her. The same was happening to me. The end had come.
Even then, her gaze never wavered from mine.
Unable to resist, I kissed her again. She closed her eyes and accepted it. The distortion of dimensions crashed over us—yet even then, we refused to part.
When our damp lips finally separated, she looked up at me and whispered:
"...Thank you."
Thank you?
Honestly, I hadn't done much. I'd just read her, told her what she wanted to hear. Nothing beyond what she'd already imagined.
But as a man, I couldn't let this opportunity slip away.
"Then I'll have to repay you with something better than a kiss."
A bold statement, assuming we'd even survive.
She seemed to catch on, smiling faintly before blushing and bowing her head.
"...I'll... do everything for you."
"You better keep that promise!"
"...B-but," Tirpe hesitated, glancing at me awkwardly.
"Now that I think about it... shouldn't I be the noona here...?"
"............"
I blanked for a second, scratching my head before replying sheepishly:
"If the typhoon stops—or some other impossible miracle happens—then sure, I'll call you noona."
Tirpe pouted for a moment before snickering.
For someone who looked so intimidating, her expression was unbearably gentle.
Satisfied, I closed my eyes.
The regressor who had shouldered everything alone was gone.
All that remained by my side was a nun noona who could finally smile a little brighter, just like everyone else.
Well...
'Worth dying for as a man, I guess.'
Maybe this was just the fate of males.
Lost in thought, I stared at the colossal storm about to consume us.
Then—
[That promise... I'll have to... keep it... now...]
The slowing air abruptly froze.
And from the distance, the massive whirlwind capable of swallowing the world—stopped dead in front of us.
As if time itself had halted.
Stunned by the impossible phenomenon, I turned my head.
Tirpe, who had done the same, looked equally dumbfounded.
"Huh? I thought they abandoned us..."
In this frozen world, a pale silhouette walked toward us.
[...The cave... seemed too spacious... for one person...]
The Wanderer who had halted the storm lifted its head. Something resembling an expression flickered across its featureless face.
[...So I came... to retrieve you.]
It must have been a face closer to relief than anything else.
["Let's go back."]