Tirpe (2)

Episode 77

Creating Life.

It was a statement that might sound trivial to some, but carried profound weight for most.

After hearing those words, Tirpe became completely dazed. She occasionally let out strange laughs, but since that was typical for her, I let it pass.

Strangely enough, an awkward tension began to flow between us.

I didn't pay it much mind, but Tirpe kept sneaking glances at me, gauging my reaction.

Eventually, unable to suppress her unease, she started muttering to herself.

"...Th-that's... truly... remarkable..."

She huddled in a corner of the cave, her face stiff as she mumbled.

In contrast, I casually poured the dishwater into a crevice in the cave wall, my expression indifferent.

Washing dishes with nothing but bottled water—no detergent—had been a pain.

Not that I particularly enjoyed dishwashing, but staying productive was necessary to avoid being consumed by the Outer Dimension.

Since I was at it anyway, I stacked the utensils to let the water drain.

"What is?"

"I-I... I never imagined one could communicate with the Wanderers..."

"Given how erratic their mental states are and how they suddenly start acting up, I get why you'd think that. But Wanderers are originally sentient beings with wills of their own. They've just forgotten. If you treat them sincerely, they often respond more innocently than humans."

"I... I see."

Tirpe shrank further into herself, forcing an awkward smile. The way she twisted the corner of her lips, as if desperately trying to dispel her nervousness, only made things more uncomfortable.

Then, she buried her face—which she had briefly turned toward me—into the torn hem of her skirt, where her stockings peeked through.

Her eyes wouldn't stay still, darting around restlessly.

She looked utterly unsettled, her expression fidgety.

That's when it happened.

"...D-do I... annoy you...?"

She struck right at the heart of the matter, completely out of nowhere.

'Damn, she's spot-on...'

Did she, like Park Ha-rin, have some kind of mental disconnect that made her oblivious to social cues?

Where did women like her and Ha-rin even leave their social skills...

Then again, it made sense for women with sinister eyes and dark inner thoughts to be like this.

Sprawled flat on the ground, I answered.

"If I said I didn't resent you at all, I'd be lying. Honestly, right now, I kinda feel like giving you a good flick on the forehead."

"......"

Her decadent eyes grew even gloomier. She had the look of a sexy, cynical nun, but her behavior was anything but.

"But we agreed to go to the cathedral together, didn't we? To meet your family. You can't show up looking like a mess."

Her slightly widened eyes stared at me in surprise.

But soon, a deflated laugh escaped her.

"You... really are optimistic, even in a situation like this..."

I chuckled lightly. Truthfully, I was just as tense.

Even now, my head throbbed, sapping my motivation.

If this kept up, I'd eventually lose sight of what I needed to do—lose my sense of self and become just another hollow Wanderer.

Maybe, after countless years, I could even become a powerful Wanderer like Erkwi.

But then...

'I might not even have a dick anymore...'

Either way, unproductive thoughts weren't good for us.

I needed to say something that would reignite my drive, no matter what.

"By the way, why did you install the sect leader as a puppet and pull the strings from behind the scenes?"

Tirpe, who had just swapped her expression to something resembling a loser's, muttered in response.

"...Nothing controls people as easily as a religion they can cling to in despair. It also made things smoother for my plans within the Tower."

"......"

I didn't ask how many she had sacrificed over her regressions.

As someone who could read minds, I already knew the answer.

This was likely the first time she had done something so inhumane.

For someone with a fragile mental state like hers—ready to shatter at the slightest touch—this decision must have required immense resolve and conflict. Tirpe, too, had been pushed to her limits.

"The inspectors, legal officers, advisors, deputy leaders... their personalities were all pretty rotten. Did you really have to keep them around? If it were you, you could've found better people..."

"...I didn't want to drag better people into this hellfire."

For a moment, I was at a loss for words. That profound?

"Besides, the high-ranking members of the Great Peace Sect possessed the finest talents in Korea. Over several regressions... they performed adequately. But the women who were with you... their talents were on another level entirely."

"Even I'm surprised sometimes."

Her barren gaze turned toward me.

"But the 66th floor... no matter how many times I challenged it, it remained impregnable. To surpass it... I thought I might have to abandon my humanity. Just to stand a chance."

The 66th floor, huh?

I let out an involuntary scoff.

"The 66th floor? That place is a real shithole. The boss was the Avatar of Satan, right? To clear it..."

Tirpe's thin eyebrows twitched in surprise. She hadn't expected me to divulge the answer so readily.

But for me, it was just the 66th floor. Having conquered up to the 95th floor, this was trivial information...

"You have to minimize the total amount of negative emotions present in the Tower."

Which was why I could satisfy her curiosity so easily.

"From the very First Floor, you had to minimize any incidents that would make people grieve or suffer. If you failed, the Avatar of Satan couldn't be killed. The weight of that evil karma falls solely on the Climbers who brought it upon themselves."

But in the Tower I had climbed in the game, Park Ha-rin had been there.

No matter how hopeless the route, in the game, Park Ha-rin would effortlessly slaughter the boss.

But in the world Tirpe had lived in, there had been no Park Ha-rin.

And the other heroines too... That difference had shaped the outcome they faced now.

So, without ever uncovering the cruel secret of the 66th Floor until now, they had no choice but to swallow that bitter cup.

Tirpe's glass-pale shoulders slumped.

"...So, in the end, I had buttoned it wrong from the very start."

"Evil karma born from slaughter, not justice—it must have grown heavier the higher you climbed, like a counterweight."

Tirpe bowed her head, her face resigned.

The trembling between her ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠disheveled strands of hair grew stronger.

"To force that kind of choice on us... It's just... too cruel... All this time... how many... how many people died..."

"..."

I listened silently to her lament.

"...That's just how the Tower is. A place that's the filthiest while pretending to be the purest—it was always a shithole to begin with."

Perhaps because we shared that understanding of the Tower,

Tirpe, who had been hesitating and trailing off, finally poured out her resentment.

"With every floor, every floor we climbed... we encountered a new world, but... honestly, we couldn't rejoice. As wondrous as those worlds were, the Tower kept pushing us into danger."

"Yeah, what a fucking joke. It's not even about messing with people. The scenery was breathtaking, at least."

A faint loosening of tension flickered across Tirpe's tightly bitten lips.

"...Ah, do you... know about the Fluorescent Spore Mushrooms on the Fifth Floor?"

"......"

Tirpe, who had seemed so fragile just moments ago, abruptly changed the subject as if her mood and personality had flipped.

I was taken aback by her sudden shift.

But with no other choice, I willingly followed along.

No, honestly, I couldn't help but get excited about that topic too.

"Ah, those goddamn little shits! They boost your mana, but once you eat them, your stomach glows and pulls aggro from every other mushroom out there. And they hide in Moss Lake—just thinking about gathering them pisses me off already. Hey, have you been to the dungeon written on the back of the 11th Floor's Direwolf's hide?"

"...Th-there was something like that too?"

Before I knew it, we were talking naturally.

For days, we burned through the ambiguous hours between night and day, lost in conversation.

Sometimes, when we got hungry, we ate together, talked until exhaustion, and then passed out.

We poured out stories only we could understand, got excited together, laughed lightly over such things, and spent our days like that.

"Hey, you should've ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠taken the underground exit there to get the Blessing before clearing it. Then—"

As I chattered excitedly about dungeons and strategies,

Tirpe reacted with wide-eyed surprise, as if she'd never even considered it.

Thanks to that, I found unexpected joy.

How long had it been since I could ramble about the game like this?

Tirpe had seemed like the kind of noona whose rotten, dead-fish eyes made her look like she'd never say anything nice to anyone, but with even an awkward smile on her face, her harshness softened.

"...N-no, that wouldn't have worked back then, it—it couldn't have!"

She must have had a fair bit of otaku in her too, because she got excited and started rambling as well.

And I, with my own otaku tendencies ignited, found myself getting carried away with her.

Only afterward

did she suddenly look regretful.

"Back then, everything was so overwhelming... I didn't realize. Looking back now, it wasn't all bad."

When you look back, it wasn't all hardship.

It's just that the shadows were deeper than expected, and you couldn't muster the courage to face them.

Even if just a handful at a time, as those parts slowly came to light, there were things even she couldn't help but chuckle at.

I was merely the one who reminded her.

So, her smiling face wasn't something I created.

"Thanks to you, I could remember. That there were good things too."

She had found the strength to smile on her own.

"The 52nd Floor's swamp was the worst..."

Tirpe, who had been curled up in the corner, now lay flat on the floor beside me.

I couldn't tell if we were looking at the same spot, but at least the worry had vanished from ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠her face. Instead, she looked at me, smiling, and spoke almost like she was singing.

You could say it was just a small change.

But to me, it felt unexpectedly significant.

Just a few days of conversation.

That was all it took for the knots inside her to loosen.

As time passed, I closed my eyes while listening to her talk.

Somehow, Tirpe's voice carried a comfort I couldn't explain.

#

Tirpe, mid-sentence, quietly closed her mouth.

In the middle of her excited chatter, Park Si-hyun had fallen fast asleep.

With a resigned twist of her lips, she rolled her eyes and looked at him.

Even in sleep, his face seemed to glow.

At the same time, the more she took him in with her eyes, the clearer it became.

"... "

That she had no right to laugh and chatter so ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠freely in his presence.

The longer she stayed by his side, the more this awareness grew.

'If only I could have met you sooner... No... If I could have met you before I committed these deeds... Would I have been able to avoid wronging you?'

It was a futile assumption.

"... "

But just for now...

She hoped he would forgive her for indulging in such misguided thoughts.

Unconsciously, she had drawn closer to Park Si-hyun.

Gazing quietly at his face, she moved her hand. It was an impulse, an act driven by her heart. Eventually, her fingers brushed against his large hand resting on the cave floor. She hesitated several times. But just this once, pure desire overtook her, and she placed her hand over the back of his.

'I know better than anyone that I don't deserve this. But still...'

Just for this moment, let it be a fleeting salvation she could remember.

'Please... share even a little warmth with me.'

Unlike her, shrouded in darkness, he was radiant—someone she couldn't dare approach.

Yet he was the one who had shown her that even in her exhausted, crumbling life, there could still be light.

But the deeper his light reached into her, the more her guilt spread like a shadow, growing wider and sharper.

So, O Lord...

'If I could... meet you...'

If You were to grant me another chance, let me be a woman who has done no wrong to this person. That's all I ask.

Slowly, warmth seeped into her from their touching hands. She squeezed gently, cherishing the sensation.

And so now...

'I won't waver anymore.'

Looking at him, her heart felt lighter. She interlaced her fingers with his, then leaned against his chest, listening. The heartbeat that had stubbornly refused to die within her now found a new rhythm in his presence. For the first time since she had been by his side, the nightmares didn't follow.

Even now, closing her eyes would summon the nightmares of the past.

─"You have to do it. If you don't, everyone dies!!"

Once, she had been forced into a position where she bore the weight of countless lives.

─"O Saintess, have mercy upon us."

Once, she had been placed where she had to meet everyone's expectations.

─"Ever since we came to the Outer Dimension, we've been wrong."

Always, she had been the one to shoulder their resentment.

But now, by his side, it was different.

She had seen a new light, and in it, she found solace.

I'm no longer needed.

The peaceful sleep she didn't deserve—

This would be the sinner's last supper.

Only now did she realize: she must not indulge in greed beyond this.

She must never stand in his way.

Her resolve had been made long ago.

The regressor who had returned stood up, her gaze cold and detached.

─"You're the one who killed us!"

Yet, as she looked at Park Si-hyun, her vision blurred with tears.

A hallucination rang in her ears, and a splitting headache wracked her skull. She clutched her face, fingers digging in.

"Kkh— Uuugh...!"

Her eyes bulged between her fingers, twitching violently. Blood vessels burst.

Trembling, she barely managed to turn and look at Park Si-hyun one last time.

But after forcing a weak smile, she left.

#

At the end of the cave passage, the pale flicker of firelight grew closer.

[Soon... the storm will come.]

Maltaira stood with her arms crossed, leaning against the wall.

"I... know..."

[Then... why...?]

The pale woman's face was illuminated.

Her gaunt features trembled, her gaze flickering as if about to fade.

Tirpe staggered out, her shoulder brushing against the cave wall.

[Why... are you leaving...?]

Tirpe's lips quivered, her eyes unfocused.

Between sweat-drenched strands of hair, her lifeless gaze peeked through.

"...Because... I don't deserve to stay by his side..."

Her self-deprecating murmur was met with Maltaira's silence.

[I... see...]

Maltaira stepped aside from the entrance.

[If that... is your... peace...]

Tirpe, clutching her temples, took a step forward.

"Th...ank... you."

Toward the raging storm outside the cave, far in the distance.

The regressor departed.

Maltaira watched her for a long, long time.

[... ...]

Maltaira looked down at the crumpled papers the regressor had left behind.

Each one was filled with desperate instructions meant for Park Si-hyun.

[Residue Burst Circuit], [Distortion Cycle Circuit], [Chaos Affinity Circuit]...

The papers were covered in meticulously handwritten residue circuits, each one seared into the surface with her own mana.

Even in the moment of her departure, she had sought to save Park Si-hyun.

And that Park Si-hyun...

"Pretty sure those are mine."

...was reaching out for them from beside her.

Maltaira stared at him blankly before handing over the bundle.

Park Si-hyun skimmed through them, then nodded.

And then—

Riiip!

Without hesitation, he tore them apart.

To survive in the Outer Dimension, he would have needed to rely on residue-based circuits.

But Park Si-hyun, who had just severed his own lifeline, turned away.

"Can't be helped. I don't understand a damn thing written here."

A faint smile played on his lips.

"Feels like if I'm gonna survive using residue circuits, someone's gotta be here with me."

Maltaira mirrored his smile.

[...Don't... be late...]

"Yeah. I'll be back soon."

Park Si-hyun waved as he walked out.

Into the storm where the regressor had vanished.

"Next time, I might come back with three. Gotta give her a proper scolding this time."

Until the end, Maltaira simply watched, smiling.

[...Ridiculous... fool...]