Chapter 27. Liam Nirheim Is... (1)
Three years had passed since I’d come to the capital.
Ignoring the letters from my mother, who kept fretting and asking when I planned to come home, I grew older in the capital, little by little, until I had become a proper nobleman.
The etiquette of the aristocracy, which had once felt so awkward just a few years ago, now came to me as naturally as breathing. I had attended the social circles Eshir dragged me to more times than I could count, and I could hold my own in all manner of conversation.
When I introduced myself to someone, I now said the name Liam Nirheim without hesitation.
Under the shadow of my father, Asher Nirheim, and my mother, Eleanor Nirheim, I came to understand the worth of the Nirheim name. My parents were heroes of war, and I strove to become someone worthy of them.
Even when Eshir sighed and muttered that I was insufferable, I kept swinging my sword all the same. And there was a result for it.
I passed the Imperial Knight Examination held in Vinkelite.
Of course, because I still wasn’t an adult, I couldn’t immediately use the title of knight, but every now and then, when someone called me Sir, I couldn’t help smiling.
When my mother heard the news, she forgot all about telling me to come home at once. Instead, she said she was proud of how hard I’d worked that day, that I really was her son after all, and she was delighted to no end.
Though, at the very end of the letter, she added something about how it was all thanks to her anyway, which was so absurd I had to laugh. I think I was genuinely impressed by my mother’s talent for cooling even a heart full of emotion in an instant.
Still, I had made up my mind. Once I came of age, I would bear the proud name of Nirheim and raise the honor of the house, just as my father and mother had done before me. I wanted to repay the affection the two of them had given me.
I was Liam Nirheim, son of Asher Nirheim and Eleanor Nirheim, and a knight of Nirheim.
And then, on the first day of January, with the cold wind blowing, Eshir finally came of age.
To celebrate, a grand party was being held at the ducal mansion. Nobles from all across the imperial capital had been invited, and the usually quiet estate was bustling with far too many guests, noisy and alive.
People from the ducal house itself came bearing gifts and offering their congratulations, while members of marquis, count, viscount, and baronial houses alike arrived in turn, bowing to Eshir and to His Grace the Duke as they delivered their greetings.
Since I wasn’t a member of the Bricht family, I watched it all from a distance, standing far from Eshir. Even so, I was reminded once again that a noble birthday was not always the easy, happy occasion it seemed from the outside.
Of course, I’d never been celebrated with anything this grand myself. Hmm. Maybe Harden and Nirheim really were a little strange after all. Or perhaps it was just because my mother and father both despised this sort of empty show.
Though I did think that modesty suited me better as well, somewhere in a corner of my heart I couldn’t quite deny that it might be nice to receive a truly lavish birthday celebration at least once.
As the banquet began, I simply kept my place. Eshir was the star of the evening, so I slipped away from her side and leaned against one of the pillars at the edge of the hall.
“…”
And Eshir, as the heroine of the night, shone more brightly than anyone else. She sat in the most visible seat in the banquet hall and accepted the endless stream of congratulations directed her way.
Every time someone came and went after greeting her, another enormous pile of gift boxes seemed to appear at her side. Wearing a perfunctory smile, she laughed softly behind a folding fan she didn’t normally even bother carrying, and with no trace of irritation, she treated people like the seasoned noblewoman she was supposed to be.
I nodded to myself at the sight of her, oddly proud. She had finally broken free of my mother’s clutches and grown into herself as a princess—and a proper mage at that.
Thank goodness. At least she hadn’t turned out like my mother.
That thought in mind, I dealt with the other nobles who came my way.
“Young Master Nirheim, I heard you passed the knight examination this time. To have passed at seventeen... that’s truly amazing!”
“You’re very kind. Ah, I saw the young lady’s work at the art museum the other day.”
“Really?”
One young lady came over just to congratulate me on passing the knight exam, and I answered as naturally as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world.
“Young Master Liam, I heard there’s going to be a festival this spring. Are you planning to go?”
“Hmm, who knows? If someone asked me sincerely and begged hard enough, I might think about it.”
“Pfft. Then I suppose I’d better go study how to make a sincere request, wouldn’t I?”
Another young man from a family I’d grown close to came over and asked me to go to the festival with him. I gave him a teasing reply and smiled.
I spent my time like that.
And while I was occupied with people for a while longer, Eshir, the night’s main character, kept staring at me.
Then she suddenly opened her mouth and mouthed something at me.
If I had to interpret it, it probably meant: Keep messing around like that, and I’ll kill you later.
She was always saying it was best to get along with everyone, and yet today she was scolding me for not paying enough attention to her. She really was a princess who was difficult to keep up with.
So the banquet went on toward its end.
And as was only natural, the last part of a gathering like this was always a ball, with everyone dancing to music.
For some reason, Eshir didn’t ask me to dance this time. She simply watched the others on the floor, occasionally glancing my way and smiling.
And with the final song echoing through the banquet hall, Eshir’s celebration came to an end.
Once the banquet was over and evening had given way to night, Eshir called for me.
I went to her room without understanding what was going on.
After knocking, I stepped inside and spoke.
“Eshir.”
“…”
Eshir was still wearing her dress as she stared out the window. I felt an odd sense of wrongness at the sight of her without any of her usual mischief.
When she looked at me, she wore the same perfunctory smile she used with other nobles, nothing more.
I was about to ask her what was wrong.
“What is this about...?”
But Eshir cut me off, and still smiling that artificial smile, she told me why she had called me. An envelope was resting in her hand.
“Young Master Liam Nirheim, a formal marriage proposal letter bearing the ducal seal will soon be sent to the marquis’s estate.”
“…”
“Once the ducal house sends the proposal letter, it won’t be possible to take it back. When you come of age, the two of us will likely become betrothed.”
She—Eshir—kept her heart hidden behind that smile and was giving me a chance.
“So, Young Master Nirheim, I’d like to ask for your opinion. What do you want to do?”
“…”
At those words, I closed my mouth.
I had known it would end this way.
I still had no desire to meet anyone new, and Eshir was now a woman of marriageable age from a ducal house.
When I still couldn’t bring myself to answer, Eshir’s expression finally softened. With a slightly bitter smile, she asked me again in the casual tone she used with me all the time.
“Liam, if you’re going to refuse, do it now. Before the proposal letter is sent. Say it to my face.”
So I answered.
Out of guilt toward her, I finally spoke the feelings I had been avoiding all this time.
“...Sorry. I have to refuse.”
“Sigh... I knew it. I wasn’t expecting anything, you jerk.”
As though she had expected as much, Eshir let out a long breath and handed me the envelope containing the proposal letter.
I took it and bowed my head to her.
“I’m sorry, Eshir.”
“It’s fine. I’ve known since we were kids that you don’t like me that way.”
“Still, I’m sorry.”
“Ugh, I don’t know. Anyway, you really are as stubborn as ever. No matter what, you didn’t even hesitate once—you just turned me down right away.”
Eshir said that, but she was wrong.
Unlike her claim that I never changed, I had changed far too much.
Because I had let go of the regrets of my past life and chosen to live as a noble.
Because I had slowly learned to release what I would never be able to gain, and to live for the people who cherished me.
I had changed, and changed again.
From Siwoo to Liam.
From Liam to Nirheim.
That was how I had changed.
And yet, even after all that, there was one thing that had not changed at all.
I still could not love anyone.
“…”
My thoughts scattered at the movement of Eshir’s waving hand.
“You can go now. I’ll take care of that letter myself—burn it, tear it up, whatever. I’ll tell Father, so don’t worry.”
“...Right. Happy birthday.”
“Wow... Telling me happy birthday after refusing a proposal is a little, no, actually a lot lacking in tact, don’t you think...?”
I smiled at her, and she looked back at me as though I were absurd.
Though I was the one who had refused her, I still felt a little guilty that I was the one receiving her consideration.
“Ah, hurry up and get out so I can change!”
I left Eshir’s room and walked down the hallway.
Tap, tap, tap—
The sound of my shoes echoed through the manor’s corridors.
After all the people who had come to celebrate were gone, the mansion once again fell quiet.