#59. Atonement
#59. Atonement
I kept replaying the video over and over, feeling my heart grow more and more impatient.
Oppa...
Thinking back on the way oppa had acted so far, he didn't seem like someone with rock-solid mental fortitude.
No. Even if he was someone with a strong mind, there probably weren't many people who could handle a situation like this okay.
"Ah... How long are you gonna keep it off?"
I was worried.
What if oppa suddenly says he wants to break up with me...?
Honestly, for an ordinary couple, this would be more than enough reason to split up.
Getting beaten up at school and on the verge of being ruined—there's no way that'd be fine.
I had to clear things up somehow.
At the very least, for oppa's normal school life, I had to let the people in the department know.
But even if I wanted to explain, we'd have to be together to come up with the story and do some proof shots or whatever.
He'd gone radio silent out of nowhere, so I couldn't think of any sharp solutions on my own.
Whoever filmed our video without our permission—just wait till I catch you. Seriously.
I was gonna beat the shit out of them.
Just sue them right away. You bastard.
Even as those thoughts crossed my mind, like oppa said, I realized it was reckless of me to say something like that in a public place.
Agh... You idiot bitch... Check if anyone's around next time. Why'd you impulsively blurt it out...
Back home, I sat quietly in my chair, monitoring the comment section of our video in real time.
[Whoa. That guy's seriously fucking disgusting lol]
[It's fucking embarrassing that I'm at the same school as a bastard like that.]
[Wait? Isn't that girl the famous one from the College of Architecture?]
[She's from the College of Architecture? Damn, can I hit that too?]
What bullshit. Seriously.
The more I scrolled down, the more my blood pressure felt like it was shooting straight up.
I wonder if oppa's watching this too...?
Whoa. Hold up.
My crisis detection sensor was blaring like crazy.
He's not gonna ghost me, cut me off, and suddenly drop out, is he?
Minho oppa usually seemed so mild-mannered, but when he snapped, he was the type to do something drastic.
Sometimes he reacted even more aggressively than I'd expected.
Considering his personality...
This wasn't the time to be sitting around like this.
I grabbed my phone and called him one more time.
Of course, the phone was still off.
Sigh.
No helping it.
It was my mess, after all.
I knew it was a dumbass idea to just hope oppa would somehow get through it and show up in front of me, so I started getting ready to head out.
Skin-tight black leggings.
A slightly baggy hoodie on top.
Couldn't skip makeup, so a light, innocent look.
Changed into comfy going-out clothes, I headed straight to oppa's place.
On the bus, I sat down and kept searching on my phone.
Search term: [How to calm down your boyfriend.]
Surprisingly, there were tons of pages and Q&A posts from girls like me who'd screwed up with their boyfriends—not just one or two.
And the answers were super varied.
[If your boyfriend's seriously considering breaking up, don't try to cute your way out of it.]
Ugh... I was thinking maybe a cute apology would get him to forgive me, but reading stuff like this made me think handwriting one in cursive might be better.
Haa...
Has any 20 minutes in my life ever felt this short?
It really felt like I'd blinked once, and I was already at oppa's building.
What if he's not in his room? But I had no other options.
I'd just wait till he lets me in.
Taking a deep breath, I reached oppa's door.
Ding-dong.
The doorbell.
"Leave it out front, please."
Had oppa ordered delivery or something?
He straight-up told me to leave it.
"Minho oppa. It's me."
I called out to him in a pleading voice from outside the door.
No response from my boyfriend.
Maybe he didn't hear me—I knocked on the door thud thud.
"Open the door, oppa."
Oppa had apparently decided to ignore me.
As I stood there arms crossed, racking my brain on how to get him to let me in—that's when it happened.
A guy in a motorcycle helmet came in, glanced at me once, and pressed oppa's doorbell.
"Food delivery."
Tap tap.
I heard oppa approaching the front door.
"Leave it out front, please."
Oppa's voice from beyond the door.
"Yes."
The delivery guy heard him and headed back down the stairs.
Bang bang!
"Oppa. I told you to open the door."
No. You have to let me in first to apologize and explain, you jerk.
"Go."
Oppa's voice sounded drained.
"I got nothing to say to you."
Way too cold for a girlfriend he'd been dating less than a week.
But me. Han Na-eun.
I wasn't the type to back down here.
"Lee Min-ho. If you don't come out, I'm eating all of this."
Ah. I'd really come here today all determined to properly apologize and give him the pure love comfort he likes...
But if he's refusing to even talk, I had no choice but to go hard too.
I picked up the neatly placed bags in front of the door and started untying the knots.
"Whoa. Pork bone! Oppa! This is gonna taste like shit if it gets cold."
Was he planning to drink or something?
What oppa had ordered wasn't really a meal—it was more like soju snacks.
"Ooh~ Steamed eggs~ Dig in! My mouth's watering already."
It was childish, but if this was what it took to see oppa's face, I could do even worse.
But the door stayed firmly shut.
...Not even coming out now?
While thinking of other ways, I figured I'd fake leaving for real this time.
So I held my breath, stepped slightly aside from the door, and waited for oppa to maybe come out.
He ordered food—he's gotta wanna eat it.
No way he's leaving it like this.
After about 5 minutes. Sure enough.
The ironclad lock on oppa's front door clicked open.
Oppa bending down to just grab the food and head back in.
"Ah. Why didn't you just open up nicely like this earlier."
Hidden behind the door, I seized the moment and grabbed the front door tight.
"What? Didn't you leave?"
Oppa's face was full of surprise.
"Ah. Move."
Worried he'd push me out again, I shoved his hand holding the food and slipped right inside.
Like an attacker dodging a defender for a goal, a satisfied smile crept onto my lips.
First contact successful—the biggest fire was out.
Kicked off my shoes and beelined to the bed in the deepest part of oppa's room, I checked out his state first.
Sure enough, oppa was...
Dark circles down to his cheeks.
Soju bottles on the desk.
He's suffering.
"...Why'd you come here."
"Why do you think? I was worried, so I came."
"It's fine..."
A pretty strong alcohol smell wafted off oppa, like he'd had a few.
I sneak-glanced at his table again and counted the soju bottles.
One. Two. Three...
Ah. The last one's got a bit left.
Still, that's a lot to drink.
But the sad part? Compared to all the soju on oppa's desk, the only side dish-looking food was one tiny cup ramen.
Drinking that much alone with just that...
"Hey. Han Na-eun."
Now that I listened, his pronunciation was a bit slurred.
I'd never seen oppa drunk before.
Plain white t-shirt, no pattern.
Plaid pajama pants.
Face flushed red, oppa started wailing.
"I'm fucked! Totally fucked!"
Oppa grabbed my shoulders tight.
"Oppa. Calm down first, and let's..."
"I'm so fucking wronged..."
Why? I knew this was a super serious situation, but oppa's drunken fit felt ridiculously cute.
"Fuck. When the hell did I eat and dump you? Huh? When did I ever dump you for the eat-and-dump guy tag to stick and make me suffer like this?!"
Ah. Can't laugh.
Oppa's reaction was too funny.
This guy seems more okay than I thought. Or not?
"Yeah. Right. There's no way our oppa would dump me. Gotta keep eating me forever."
Pretending to comfort him, I slyly slipped in my lewd wish too.
Normally he'd get serious and tell me not to talk bullshit.
But drunk oppa nodded vigorously.
"Yeah! I even named our kid already! What eat-and-dump! This is bullshit! Fuck!"
Ah. Should I suggest drinking every day?
I loved this honest oppa too much.
He always talked pure love on the outside, but it hit me anew that Han Gyeo-ul writer-nim is Minho oppa.
"Yeah! Yeah! Should we eat this first at least?"
While oppa vented, I spread out the table and set up the snacks nice and easy to grab.
Found the soju glasses on the sly, poured one full for oppa and one for me.
"Oppa. I'm really sorry."
"Nah. You already apologized yesterday. What more?"
"Still... I really didn't think it'd blow up this big."
Oppa gave a bitter smile and downed the soju shot.
I was thirsty for it too, so I one-shot mine without hesitation.
"Haa... Should I take a leave of absence?"
As expected.
Oppa wasn't going as far as dropping out, but he was considering a leave of absence.
"No. Don't..."
"Nah. It's 'cause you didn't see it today. The way those kids looked at me."
Oppa tapped his forehead like his head hurt.
"I'll explain properly. Okay? Let's go to school together. Oppa."
I sidled up next to him and hooked my arm in his.
"What's explaining gonna do..."
"From now on, I won't say weird shit outside. I'll act all lovey-dovey sweet couple. Just endure the remaining month till End of Semester."
It was early November, so not much time left till End of Semester for sure.
Oppa silently refilled his glass and downed it.
"Ha. How'd a girl like you end up as my girlfriend."
Sure, it was my fault, but that stung a bit...
Felt like someone poking my chest with needles.
At oppa's self-deprecating words, I bowed my head for a sec.
"Oppa. Do you hate me?"
"Yeah. Fucking do."
...Hate that.
Words like that.
In [I Imprisoned Her], he never says he likes you. Or hates you.
Is real-life dating this bitter compared to what I thought?
"Then what'll make you forgive me?"
In a kinda servile tone, I peeked at his expression and asked.
But oppa's answer was...
"Why aren't you stripping? You fucking idiot."
...Heeung♥