#58. Mukber
#58. Mukber
"Tell me I'm way more fuckable than that sow bitch?"
When I roughly repeated back what she'd said off the top of my head, Na-eun nodded vigorously.
"Yeah! When you apologize, do it that refreshingly. Don't half-ass it like some cheap bastard going '~Sorry~' or whatever."
...Isn't your idea of refreshing totally different from mine?
Sigh... Fine... If that's the apology you want, no reason I can't deliver.
I grabbed Na-eun's hair—she'd been sitting demurely on the bench.
"...Oppa?"
Her face was pure confusion, anyone could see it.
With her hair in my grip, I lifted her neck up to match my eye level as I bent at the waist.
"I'm only saying this once. Listen up."
I gave her an apology laced with contempt, adding a little extra to her scripted line.
"You're way hornier than the pig sow bitch from the novel. Got it, you fucking bitch."
...Okay, the 'fucking bitch' part wasn't in the script, but that's my 2% personal flair.
What if word gets out I'm an Eat and Dump guy—how the hell am I supposed to show my face at school?
And honestly, after making her go through this shit on campus, I figured she wouldn't demand apologies like this anymore.
But her reaction...
"...Oppa."
My girlfriend threw herself into my arms without even fixing her messed-up hair.
Na-eun's arms wrapped around my waist so naturally.
"It's touching."
A hug.
An act less familiar to us than sex or blowjobs.
Her shampoo scent hit me out of nowhere, and I felt my heart pounding.
But we're on campus...
Lucky it was such a secluded spot—barely anyone passing by.
"Hey... you gotta apologize too..."
Some post-reconciliation hug felt like the kind of lovey-dovey couple shit I'd dreamed of...
But hey, gotta make sure the important stuff's settled.
The whole reason I'd given that vulgar apology was to get one out of Na-eun for the restaurant fiasco.
"Oh, right. Hehe."
Na-eun was genuinely beaming, hands behind her back.
"Ahem... ahem!"
She cleared her throat, stepped out of my arms, clasped her hands behind her, and straightened her back tall.
"Sorry, Oppa. For calling you an Eat and Dump guy in front of everyone."
"Fine. Hope it doesn't happen again."
"But honestly, you kinda messed up a bit."
"What exactly hurt your feelings so bad?"
When I said it like I wasn't fully buying it, Na-eun fidgeted with her fingers like she was thinking, then clapped.
"Ah! Yeah! Listen up, Oppa!"
Did she just get some genius idea?
"If I compared you to the male lead in your novel and asked which is better, and I picked the novel guy—what do you think that'd feel like?"
So... between me and Lee Jin-seong, Na-eun picks Lee Jin-seong?
But is that even a fair comparison...?
Lee Jin-seong in [Imprisoning Her] was described as a total stud.
Dick huge as fuck.
Money stacked.
Fights like a beast.
Compared to regular Joe citizen #1, Lee Min-ho, pounding away at Erotic Novels in his room.
I wouldn't even get mad if it were me...
"What... he's not even real. Just liking a character."
When I answered way cooler than expected, Na-eun shook her head wildly.
"No! Even if it's a character, come on. Your one and only girlfriend says she likes another guy—feels fine to you?"
Hmm... yeah... honestly, not great.
"I get it to some extent... I'll be careful from now on."
I'd heard relationships are about two different people compromising bit by bit.
If something hurts your partner's feelings, gotta respect that.
"Thanks, Oppa."
Looks like my girlfriend's the jealous type.
The day after the Eat and Dump fiasco with Na-eun.
I got to the Design Room right before Design Class, and today, it felt like people were staring at me way more than usual.
What's up... did I do something weird today?
Quick mirror check—nothing different from normal.
As I set down my bag and pulled out my laptop, Hwi-min next to me hit me with a super serious face.
"Hey, Minho."
"What."
"If I got the wrong idea, sorry."
Hwi-min paused dramatically.
What? Does Hwi-min have some misunderstanding about me?
"Spit it out. What's up."
"This you?"
Hwi-min showed me his phone screen: me and Na-eun arguing across a table.
[How can a person be like that? Eat and done. That it?]
Na-eun looking like she's sobbing.
[Oh, come on...]
Me with a headache-y expression watching it.
[I said I liked it...]
Video cuts off there.
"This... you?"
The people on screen were unmistakably me and Na-eun.
Still, Hwi-min stared like he couldn't believe it.
"Yeah, that's me, but..."
"You crazy fuck."
Hwi-min cursed under his breath so no one else heard.
"How could you do Na-eun like that...! I thought you were some pitiful Mosol virgin, but I'm the idiot... you're a real fucking trash bastard."
My head throbbed as I cut off his barrage.
"Ah, fuck, it's not like that. And Na-eun's my girlfriend. That was her messing around."
"No way you expect me to buy that? What's Na-eun missing to date you? You lost your mind, Lee Min-ho."
Didn't wanna confess having a girlfriend like this.
My plan to buy him a drink and say thanks? Totally fucked.
"Sigh... gimme that first."
The site was our school community.
Full of trash issues, hadn't checked in ages—didn't expect to be the star.
Over 1,000 views.
And the title...
[Hot Girl's Eat and Dump Guy - Evidence]
Fucking aggro hell.
That's why people were staring.
The whispers weren't just in my head.
Suddenly branded a real Eat and Dump guy, I was fucking depressed.
Thought I'd finally get some Campus Couple happiness late in life...
"Hey, Hwi-min. Swap Critique slots with me."
"I'm right after. You good?"
"Can't sit here dying at school. One time, please."
Hwi-min nodded. "Got it."
"But you really Eat and Dump..."
"Ah, for real no. I'll spill everything tonight—call, Kakao, whatever. Wait up. Can't talk now, mentally fucked."
I sighed in despair, and Hwi-min nodded reluctantly.
Next up, I dragged myself into the Professor's classroom.
"Hm. Yeah. Developed it some?"
I'd prepped hard, but mentally shattered, I half-assed the explanation.
After I finished, the Professor scanned my face.
"Minho."
"Yes."
"Something wrong?"
Veteran advisor instincts.
He looked worried.
"No."
"Tsk. Leaving aside what you brought today... feels like you can't focus."
Spot on.
Today, Design Class could go fuck itself.
Lifelong virgin like me turning into a vile Eat and Dump worm...
But couldn't spill my guts to the Professor.
Not family drama or career advice.
"No, it's nothing."
"Really...?"
He stroked his chin, continued the Critique.
"Then, let's talk about what you brought today..."
Honestly, zero memory of the rest.
Feedback done, I bowed and bolted home.
Felt like everyone staring.
My fragile 'acting fine' mentality cracking harder.
Viiiing.
Phone vibrated.
[Han Na-eun]
...I just turned it off.
[Unable to take your call. Voice mailbox.]
What, Oppa.
Why not picking up.
Signal was going through fine till just now—suddenly dead.
After Design Class ended, I headed to the Design Room to grab my stuff, and sensed a weird vibe around me.
What's going on...
I sat, and Ji-su from the studio came over, worried.
"Na-eun... you okay...?"
"...Huh?"
"No... saw the post on the community..."
Community...? What?
Her out-of-nowhere words made me tilt my head.
"What're you talking about?"
"Oh... you haven't seen. Here."
Ji-su shoved her phone screen at me.
And on it...
"Can you tell who uploaded this?"
"Nope? Anonymous site."
"Fuck."
I spat the unfiltered curse and frantically packed my bag.
"...Na-eun?"
Ji-su looked a bit shocked.
"Ji-su, send me that link, okay? Promise?"
"Huh? Uh..."
Which bastard. You're dead if I catch you.
Phone just kept saying it's off.