Why We Create Paradise

A full week had already passed since Bibi went on hiatus. She still posted her notices on schedule — proof of life, at least — but the repetition had gone on long enough that even our own streams had started mentioning her now and then.

"When is Bibi coming back on stream?"

"I'm worried too… but Bibi will come back. I know she will. So please, just trust her and wait a little longer."

Ordinarily I would have asked chat not to bring up other streamers. But given the situation, I couldn't just let it slide. Streaming under that kind of weight wore me down, and I ended the broadcast earlier than usual.

Afterward I opened the group chat on the off chance someone had messaged — but the only thing waiting for me was a text from Gyu-ri.

So Bian still wasn't answering. Gyu-ri said she'd tried calling a few times herself and never gotten through.

Even through text, Tita's frustration was palpable. "That person" — she meant Thomas unnie, of course.

Tita's reply to my question carried a clear edge of irritation.

Thomas unnie wasn't the type to waste words. That didn't mean she was cold, or that she was stupid. So whatever she'd said, it had to mean something.

"What do I do…"

I sat curled up in my chair and thought about what I could actually do. But no matter how I turned it over, nothing I did seemed likely to land well with Bian right now — not when I was the one dating the guy who'd dumped her.

"Maybe all I can do is wait too. Even though Bian's out there struggling alone right now."

I was the one who'd pushed Gachi forward in the first place. Thinking about Bian like this might even rub her the wrong way. But I couldn't help worrying.

Of course the resentment hadn't fully cleared. I still had plenty of complaints. Plenty of things I wanted to grumble about.

But.

Even now… I still thought of Bian as a friend.

"I can't just sit here. I'm calling Thomas unnie too."

It was a little late — but unnie was a night owl. She'd pick up.

Just as I'd expected, the ringtone barely made it five seconds before Thomas unnie answered.

"Hey, unnie. Is this a bad time?"

"It's fine. What's up?"

As if she didn't know. At this hour, on this day — why else would I be calling?

"It's about Bian… I just wanted to know if she's okay."

"You too, huh?"

You too. It didn't sound annoyed. Just… resigned. A lot of people must have asked already.

"Yeah. I'm worried. I thought maybe if it was you, there might be something you could do."

"And what exactly am I supposed to do?"

"That's…"

"Force her on stream because I'm the boss? Or lecture a kid who can barely broadcast right now — tell her she's about to trash every bit of goodwill Utopia's built up, and it's all her fault?"

"…"

I had nothing to say. Most CEOs would have done exactly that. Thomas unnie never would. And more than anything, both of us already knew it wouldn't help.

"Sorry. That's not what I meant."

"It's fine. But Wa Sol — have you heard anything from Eve or Tita?"

"…More or less."

"I see…"

For the first time, I heard relief in her voice.

What was that? Did unnie already know something?

"Wa Sol."

Whether she sensed my curiosity or not, she called my name.

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember? Why I… created Utopia."

What rose in my mind was the recruitment notice.

That single line. We who'd been running from reality, regretting the past, expecting nothing from the future — that one line was what gathered us into Utopia.

"Yeah. I remember."

"Then… do you also remember why you create paradise?"

Why we do?

…Ah. Unnie had said it clearly, once.

Utopia was for her dream.

But paradise… ah.

"…Yeah."

"Then that's enough."

With that, she hung up. Still the same Thomas unnie — saying only what she meant to say, nothing more.

But it got through, unnie.

That's right. We… gathered to create a paradise.

The moment I hung up with Thomas unnie, I opened the Discord server. Time passed, and then Gyu-ri — no, Eve — and Tita came online.

Me, Kiri, included: the three original members of Utopia, all in one place.

"Wa Sol, what's going on? Calling just the two of us out of nowhere."

And of course Tita had to kill the mood immediately.

Ah. I hadn't set the scene.

"Tita, I'm Kiri right now."

"Huh? Oh… right. Okay, Kiri. So why'd you call us?"

"Ooooh… we're doing the bit?"

They caught on instantly, and their voices had already shifted into Eve's and Tita's. (Technically Tita's voice barely changed at all, but it felt different, okay.)

Right. If you want to build a paradise, you need your people. That's what Utopia was for.

"Eve, when you called Thomas unnie — can you tell me what she said?"

"Hmm… she said something weird. That what Bibi needs isn't her."

"Tita?"

"I already told you. She just said she's waiting."

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

Yeah… that was pure Thomas unnie. Say only what's necessary, then leave the rest of the answer to us. That was how she always pushed us to move forward on our own.

"With me, she asked if I still remembered why we create paradise."

"What? …Ah."

"Ahh~ so that's what this is."

Tita and Eve both understood Thomas unnie's intent the second I said it.

"I swear, why does that woman always have to talk in circles."

"For real~ Ah~ next time I see Thomas unnie I'm giving her an earful!"

"Eve, you say that, but you never manage a single word in front of her… because you're a total chicken."

"Tita unnie!"

"Alright, alright, enough side chatter. So you both get why I called this meeting, right?"

These two had a gift for dragging any conversation from the ocean onto a mountain, so keeping things on track was always a fight. Thankfully, once I spoke up, they refocused.

"So this is a meeting for Bibi, then?"

"Exactly. Any ideas on what we should do?"

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

"Me!"

Eve's hand shot up first. I wasn't exactly optimistic, but fine — let's hear it.

"Eve, go ahead."

"Yes! Bibi unnie's on hiatus because Gachi oppa dumped her, right? So."

"What!? That's the first I'm hearing of this!"

Ah… we never told Tita, did we.

Eve had asked me about it last time when she was fretting, so I'd filled her in — but apparently that was as far as it went.

"Then it's settled! We cut off that fucking bastard's dick and make him pay for dumping Bibi! A guy like that could die ten times and it'd still be too good for him!"

Tita. That fucking bastard is my boyfriend… I'd mentioned Gachi's name in the group chat before, but maybe she hadn't properly registered it. Or maybe she was just so worked up she was spewing whatever came to mind…

…I'll just write down Tita's suggestion for now.

"Ahem. Eve, try again."

"Okay! We introduce Bibi unnie to a nice guy! Someone like Gachi oppa!"

"Absolutely not."

Tita shut that down on the spot. Honestly I didn't think much of it either, but… just in case… I'd write it down.

"You want to send some jawbone of a man over to Bibi? That magpie guy? He's the same. Isn't he the bastard who dumped her? No one in their right mind would pull that kind of stunt. Why the hell did he dump Bibi in the first place!?"

"Because he's my boyfriend."

"Exactly~ Kiri, you already know, right? Every insult I throw is actually a compliment. A boyfriend that great should've dumped Bibi properly for his girlfriend Kiri's sake."

Tita deployed a full Talulah-tier spin so fast I sighed inwardly. Somehow we still weren't having an actual conversation.

"Ahem. Let's put the magpie talk aside for now."

"It's Gachi."

"Right, Gachi. Anyway, Kiri — you got any ideas?"

My ideas… honestly, nothing that felt like a real answer.

Looking at what I'd jotted down during the meeting so far:

Cut off Gachi's dick.

Introduce Bibi to a guy like Gachi.

…Why was Gachi in every single one of these. And why had I written them down…

Haa. I missed Gachi… Running one meeting shouldn't be this hard. How on earth did Thomas unnie ever get anything done with these two?

If Gachi were sitting next to me right now, I'd have the strength for this. Gachi… Gachi…

And then something he'd said once floated up in my mind.

"There was a time when I cut myself off from everyone… no. From everything."

I didn't know when that had been. But Gachi, too, had once gone through a period of rejecting the world the way I had.

And the one who'd shown him light again was—

"Was Eve the reason you got out of that?"

"…Yeah."

…Tch.

"Always Eve."

"Hm? Kiri unnie. Did you call me?"

I'd muttered my complaint about Gachi out loud, and Eve thought I was talking to her.

"No. I just thought of one possible approach."

"Ooooh, that's our Kiri. Better than Eve's idea, right?"

"It's better than yours, Tita unnie! Why would you cut off Gachi oppa's dick!"

"A girl shouldn't use language that crude!"

"You're a girl too!"

Please, you two… can we just talk.

"Ahem! Everyone focus! I'm going to tell you what I just thought of."

I finally got them into concentration mode and laid out my idea. And when they heard it—

"Hmm… we're VTubers, after all. I think that suits us best."

"Yeah! I like that too."

Thank god… I'd thought it was decent myself, but if even one of them had shot it down, my confidence might have taken a hit…

"But Kiri."

"Yeah?"

Just as I was letting myself relax, Tita called my name.

"This is kind of late to ask, but. Why are you going this far for Bibi? Honestly, the person who got hurt the most in all of this… is you, right? Don't tell me you've already forgiven her."

"No."

I cut her off.

Forgive her? As if it could be that easy.

Gachi was someone truly precious to me. First love or not, what Bian had done crossed every line and then some.

On top of that, Bibi had nearly destroyed Utopia — something just as precious to us as Gachi was. I couldn't forgive that either. And I probably wasn't the only one who felt that way.

So… I still hadn't forgiven Bibi.

But…

"I… still haven't gotten a proper apology from her."

"…What?"

"Bibi still hasn't apologized to me!"

I hated carrying this feeling around. I hated thinking of Bibi and feeling only this ugly thing.

I couldn't forgive her… but I wanted to forgive her…

So I needed a real apology from Bibi. Without that, nothing ends — and nothing begins.

"You're right. Come to think of it, I haven't gotten an apology either. I was the one who planned that collab stream!"

"Now that you mention it, Bibi unnie owes me an apology too!"

"Did Eve even take any real damage?"

"I did! I hate it when we fight or get all awkward with each other!"

"…Hah. Fair enough. I hate that too."

Looks like Eve and Tita felt the same way.

Right. We needed an apology from Bibi.

For our own sakes.

And also — for our youngest, who still hadn't managed to overcome her past.

"I guess I really still thought of Bibi as a little sister…"

"Well, what can you do. No — isn't that just natural? Bibi… joined later than the rest of us. She's our junior."

"Ah, right! Now that I think about it, Bibi unnie is junior to me!"

Yeah. As seniors, we scold what needs scolding.

And we forgive what needs forgiving.

And for that — we join forces.

"Then it's decided… Next question is who does it. I was thinking—"

"Kiri unnie, obviously." / "Has to be Kiri."

Huh? M-me?

"Ah, no. If I do it, won't that be a little… weird? In a lot of ways."

Like Eve said — the guy who dumped Bibi is… my boyfriend.

"What are you talking about. You're the one who called this meeting in the first place."

"Exactly~ It really has to be Kiri unnie."

"B-but still… something like this should go to the high-energy types, right?"

It was a heavy responsibility, and honestly I wasn't ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠sure I was up for it. The two of them pushed me forward anyway.

"That ranking we decided on… the ranking Bibi made. You're number one."

"She's right. That's a ranking every single one of us agreed on. So… if it's Kiri unnie, it'll be fine."

The ranking Bibi made… right. I was number one.

Honestly, I still wasn't sure I deserved that…

"Okay. I'll do it."

"Okay! Then let's brainstorm the content!"

"Got it! Oh — and obviously this stays secret from Bibi unnie! And it has to be something that makes her happy, no matter what!"

"…Obviously. A surprise only works if it makes you happy!"

And so the three of us joined forces to create a paradise.

So that we could be four again.

"I created Utopia to fulfill a dream I never managed to achieve myself. But if that's all it is, it starts to look like I'm just using you, doesn't it?"

Just using us. The way she phrased it made it sound like using us was still on the table.

Honest unnie…

"I already told you why I chose you. Your voices — anyone could hear it — weren't looking at the present. People like that usually don't expect anything from the future either, and more often than not there's something broken in their past. But… that's exactly why I thought you'd have desperation. And I wanted to build a paradise for people like you."

For some reason, even though this wasn't official business, Thomas unnie was talking more than usual. She was in a slightly sentimental mood.

"More precisely, I wanted to give you the chance to build one. So… the ones who create the paradise are you."

All of us were people who'd turned our eyes away from the present because of the past, who expected nothing from the future.

Thomas unnie, who'd gathered people like us, finished with this:

The way she tacked on that it was for her own sake, right at the end… honestly, it was so tsundere it was almost cute.