Outcast Pretender
Today was the day Wa-sol had a regular meeting scheduled. With no chance of seeing her until evening, I found myself staring down the most useless stretch of time in my entire life—and wondering how to fill it—until I fired off a shameless group chat.
Fortunately, two friends agreed.
"Can you really call someone a friend if you only get to see them when their girlfriend isn't around?"
"That's just how male friendship works. Just eat—I'm buying today."
I brushed off Cheon-woo's jab at my shamelessness—even I had to admit he had a point—and we started eating. At the same time, Seo-hyeon gave an awkward little laugh.
"Haha, it is pretty hard to catch you these days, Gachi hyung. But what's up with Hae-an?"
"Ah, he said he was heading home today."
"That explains it. Shame. He's been saying how much he misses hanging out with you lately."
"I already grabbed a meal with him recently, so it's fine."
Seo-hyeon nodded, then looked at me like he was about to ask something. He probed carefully.
"Was Wa-sol sunbae there too?"
"...Yeah."
At that, Cheon-woo shot me a slightly startled look. For the record, I had no intention of bringing Bian up.
"With Wa-sol sunbae? Including Adami hyung?"
"Yeah. She just... said she wanted to talk about something."
"...So it really was Wa-sol sunbae who was connected to Eve?"
I'd been noticing it more and more lately—Seo-hyeon was sharp.
I'd heard it from Hae-an: that day at the café, it hadn't just been Hae-an watching. These two had seen it as well.
Probably, since the people with Eve that day had been me and Wa-sol, they'd figured Wa-sol was the bridge that made meeting Eve possible.
"I can't give you a definite answer."
"Haa, so that's how it was."
Even Cheon-woo seemed to have caught on; he propped his chin on his hand with a dissatisfied look. Still, I was grateful neither of them pressed me with a hundred questions.
"What a strange coincidence. Almost like fate."
"Fate, my ass. It's just because that hyung is weird. In a lot of ways."
"Is that so?"
I didn't particularly think of myself as weird.
"Look at that face. He clearly has no idea how weird he actually is."
"Haha, right? With Gachi hyung, it tracks. Even that is weird."
These guys. Calling me weird right to my face, over and over.
"What exactly is so weird about me?"
I was curious, though, so I asked. There was always the chance I had some genuinely embarrassing flaw I didn't know about.
"Haa, do I really have to say this out loud?"
"Come on, it's Gachi hyung."
Seo-hyeon gave Cheon-woo a couple of pats on the back, and Cheon-woo sighed again. Then he stirred his udon with his chopsticks and opened his mouth.
"Hyung, you're an Assa Hoso-in. *slurp*."
"...Me?"
Cheon-woo nodded while eating his udon. I turned toward Seo-hyeon, who smiled like he had no choice and nodded the same way.
"Yeah. For some reason, you genuinely believe you're an outcast. But from where we're standing, you're not an outcast at all."
"...I don't have any friends in the department besides you two and Hae-an."
"A guy with three friends and a girlfriend is an outcast? Then how high is the bar for being popular? Plus you still talk sometimes with the people from that group project you did a while back."
Group project. Basically the team assignments universities hand out.
Before midterms, one class had given us a project, and five of us had formed a team. The problem was that everyone except me had been girls, so for a while I'd had to give Wa-sol a daily situation report on the group project. I still remembered that clearly.
"Well, of course we talk a little—we did a project together. After that, nobody contacted me separately."
"Isn't that obvious, hyung? Who's going to casually message a guy who already has a girlfriend?"
"Exactly. I was actually trying to keep it secret, but one of them asked me. Gachi hyung—does Wa-sol sunbae ever get awkward or anything? When I said not at all, she looked disappointed."
She asked Seo-hyeon that? Why bother?
And why was she disappointed?
"Haa, there's that face again—the one that has no idea why."
"Right? Either he knows and pretends he doesn't, or the thought itself never even crosses his mind. Haha."
"Just say it. This hyung... is insanely popular."
Cheon-woo tossed the words out like he was annoyed, and I tilted my head, confused.
Who was popular?
I'd never felt that way in my entire life.
"I'm... not that popular."
"No, Gachi hyung, you are. Especially with girls."
"It's not like this guy or I are unpopular either. But Adami hyung... tsk."
Cheon-woo tipped his head toward Seo-hyeon and clicked his tongue. Looking at him like that, he almost seemed sincere.
"Honestly, it doesn't feel real. But if you two are going this far, it must be true. I should probably keep this a secret from Wa-sol..."
The moment I finished, Cheon-woo set down his chopsticks with an incredulous look and took a drink of water. Seo-hyeon looked startled this time too.
"Gachi hyung... I'm telling you this in advance—there are quite a few girls aiming for you right now. It's just that the goalkeeper is Wa-sol sunbae, so they figure they have zero chance of winning and don't show it on the surface. And—"
"Wa-sol sunbae knows a hundred percent. When she's with Adami hyung, she deliberately makes eye contact with other girls and then, right in front of them, links arms with him or holds his hand."
Seo-hyeon tossed the ball and Cheon-woo ran with it. Hearing that, I realized it was true—at some point Wa-sol had started waiting for me, conspicuously, until my classes ended so we could leave together, and she'd told me that if our class end times were even close, we were absolutely going home together.
Wait. Had Wa-sol's jealousy gotten worse lately because of me?
"When you see her greet the girls who keep glancing at Gachi hyung all sweet and friendly, it's so scary it gives you chills. Like an invisible knife fight just broke out."
"To me it felt more like she was holding a gun to their heads. That sunbae probably has a warrior's temperament."
Wa-sol, a warrior. Now that I heard it, it was a strangely fitting description.
"Anyway, hyung, there are parts of yourself you just can't see objectively. And because of that, the way people see you keeps shifting."
"Ah, right. Now that I think about it—at first, watching him completely shut Hye-jin down, I thought he was just a total asshole otaku. But he turned out to be a pretty decent Adami."
"I always notice this about Cheon-woo—he has zero filter even in front of the person himself."
"That's Cheon-woo's strength. And also his weakness."
A strength and weakness that only really showed up with other guys, though.
For all his bluntness, Cheon-woo was actually pretty warm with girls. That was probably why he was popular with them.
"Anyway, Adami hyung, it's about time you stopped being an outcast pretender. Watching you do that just pisses people off for no reason. Acting like you're unpopular when you're actually popular is just fraud."
"...Honestly, I still don't feel it. But I'll keep it in mind."
"Though I can't really picture Gachi hyung acting like a popular guy either. Still—just know it."
I nodded and ate my tonkatsu.
Me, popular... Had that ever been true?
In high school, grades equaled popularity, so maybe that counted—but even then, people had only approached me for my scores, not for me.
Before that, I hadn't been particularly popular either.
Even now, I still thought the fact that I was dating Wa-sol at all was mostly because of everything my past self had managed to achieve.
"The real outcast is Wa-sol sunbae to begin with. Except for hyung and Eun-yeong sunbae, she just shuts everyone out completely. Though watching her choose to be an outcast on purpose, she's kind of a pretender in her own way too."
So if I borrowed Cheon-woo's words, Wa-sol wasn't an outcast pretender—more like an outcast by choice.
Because of everything that had happened in the past, she didn't go out of her way to expand her social circle, and she often put up invisible walls.
"But do you still have a thing for Wa-sol? Why do you watch her so closely?"
"Even if I don't want to, she catches the eye—she's your girlfriend. Besides, I already gave up. I don't have a hobby of going after taken women."
I'd asked with a slight edge of wariness, and Cheon-woo cut me off immediately, looking exasperated.
Come to think of it, this guy had given up on Wa-sol surprisingly fast. Maybe he hadn't liked her enough to hold on to any lingering feelings.
"The reason I went after that sunbae back then... was really just because she was so pretty. If you dated someone like that, at least no one would trash your girlfriend for not matching you. So I don't have any regrets either."
"...The girlfriend gets trashed?"
"There's stuff like that."
"Okay. Got it."
I wasn't going to dig. If he wanted to talk about it, he'd bring it up himself.
At my attitude, Seo-hyeon smiled quietly and finished eating first.
"Thanks for the meal. Oh, and don't tell Wa-sol sunbae about any of this. The way Gachi hyung thinks he's not popular—Wa-sol sunbae is probably quietly relieved about that."
"From where I was sitting, it looked more like she wanted him to get a little self-aware. But he's her boyfriend, so he probably knows better."
Hmm. I hadn't planned on saying anything anyway—it still didn't feel real.
Popular, huh... But what did that even matter?
As long as I had Wa-sol, that was enough.
Yeah.
Even that first love that had once felt eternal—I couldn't feel those emotions anymore. I was too far gone for Wa-sol.
"...So nothing really changes, then."
"Figured as much." / "Thought so. Haha."
This time both of them laughed like they'd given up.
And yet their faces looked somehow relieved.
Well, whether I was popular or not, there was no need for my behavior to change.
I just needed to know.
So Wa-sol wouldn't get too jealous... and so that if someone tried to cross a line—
I finished my tonkatsu, thought of Bian for a moment, and muttered,
"Yeah... I should make sure there's no room for misunderstanding."
"That'll do."
Cheon-woo, who'd finished his udon as well, agreed.
They'd probably told me all this for my sake too.
For all their teasing, both of them really did think about other people.
"Alright, thanks for the meal, Gachi hyung. Have a good date."
"Tch, I should've freeloaded a little more."
"I've got to send donations, so nothing too expensive."
"Adami hyung really is such an Adami."
"I hear that a lot."
Especially from Eve. And from Wa-sol...
"Okay, you two get home safe."
I parted ways with the two of them and started walking toward the place I'd arranged to meet Wa-sol. As I did, a strange unease settled over me.
She'd clearly said she'd contact me once the meeting was over—even if it looked like it would run late.
And still, nothing.
If the meeting atmosphere was so serious she couldn't message me, reaching out first might only be a nuisance, so I hadn't. But if Wa-sol didn't show by the agreed time and still hadn't contacted me, I was going to call her immediately.
"I just hope nothing happened... Wait. Come to think of it."
Until now I'd only ever thought of Bian as Bian, so a certain detail had never even crossed my mind. Judging by Wa-sol's attitude, Bian was clearly a member of Utopia.
Which meant that in today's meeting...
"...Haa. I just hope nothing headache-inducing came up."
But strangely enough, whenever I thought something like that, something troublesome always seemed to happen.
Proof of which:
"What? You were already here? But... why is Gyu-ri with you?"
Because at the meeting spot, I saw Wa-sol looking somehow drained, as if she were pulling Gyu-ri's wheelchair along.
The whole scene had a certain atmosphere to it—like a mother coming out of her parents' house with her kid in some old drama.