The Present Forged by the Past, the Present for the Future
Everyone has a past.
Whether it was filled with happiness or pain.
All of those pasts weave together to create the present. And the person I love is probably the way she is now because of a past like that.
That is why I cannot simply erase every last bit of it as if it never happened. Even if I could, I do not believe I should.
And yet.
Why wasn’t I by noona’s side back then?
Thinking something like that is simply human nature, I suppose.
So let’s stay together from now on. Because that is what noona wants from me more than anything.
“Kiriring~ Hello everyone~”
After noona finished telling me about her past, I came back to myself and realized a full hour had already slipped by. Under normal circumstances I should have headed home before the stream started.
But we promised we’d stay together today…
When she said it with those glistening eyes…
In the end I nodded, and noona’s eyes sparkled as she quietly asked me to stay silent before she went live.
It might have been my imagination, but her energy seemed higher than usual.
Thinking it was because I was here with her… was that just me being self-absorbed?
“Alright then, shall we start a match with next week’s tournament as our goal?”
I watched noona stream right there in her room while also following Kiri’s broadcast on my phone.
Of course the phone was muted, and I kept myself completely quiet so no sound would leak into her stream. Honestly, even though she was my girlfriend, sitting in on Kiri’s broadcast in person still made me a little nervous.
“Hm? What’s the goal this time? Hehehe… I don’t even count anything short of first place.”
Watching her stream in person left me with nothing but pure admiration.
At first she had glanced my way with a slightly awkward smile, but then she became Kiri completely and unleashed her full skill without holding back.
Seeing it like this, she really was incredible.
Pulling off plays at that high level while still chatting with the Haras. And on top of that—
“Hey, who just said they play better than me?”
“Sigh, I’ll let it slide just this once.”
“Get out here right now!”
It was fun.
Her reactions made it obvious she already knew exactly what kind of response the Haras wanted.
And this was only from a viewer’s perspective. If I were the one streaming, could I even come close to doing what Kiri did?
She really put in so much effort.
From the past she had just told me about, the noona of those days must have been someone who could barely even speak to other people. And now that same noona was shining brighter than anyone else on a stream watched by thousands.
So brightly it almost hurt to look at.
So this was the person I had fallen for. This was the person I wanted to stay beside forever.
I wanted to convey this feeling.
She would probably scold me… but right now I would put my own heart first.
Seeing my donation, Kiri… Wa Sol-noona glanced back for a moment.
Her brows were tilted so I thought she was angry, but her expression was smiling.
Probably a look that held both her joy toward me and a warning all at once.
Sorry.
I pressed my hands together in apology, and noona let out a small sigh before turning her head back to the monitor.
And then—
“I’ll stay with you forever too.”
Who exactly was that line meant for?
I didn’t know whether it was only for me or for the other Haras as well.
But… alright. I would admit it.
For the first time, someone other than Eve made my heart race… another VTuber.
Thump thump thump.
One in the morning.
Once Kiri’s stream ended safely, noona dragged her chair over to me and started lightly punching my chest.
“I told you… not to send donations.”
“Ow, ow… sorry.”
“Hmph, you never listen.”
Curled up on the chair, noona kept tapping my chest with one hand while glaring at me. Honestly I was reflecting, but I didn’t regret it.
“Sorry. Still… I really wanted to say that then.”
“That’s… unfair.”
The fact that the punching had stopped meant her mood had improved a little. Now that the attack was over, it was my turn.
I pulled the chair she was sitting on toward me and wrapped my arms around the curled-up noona.
She automatically hugged me back now, and we simply felt each other’s warmth.
“You worked hard.”
“Yeah. I streamed my heart out today. Because Gachi watched from start to finish.”
That was part of it, sure.
But more than that, I could feel just how hard she had pushed herself to become the person she was now.
“Noona said she likes watching me put in effort. But I like the way you’ve worked hard too. Really.”
Maybe it was because I had learned more about her today, but my feelings for noona felt even deeper. Unable to put it into words, I could only express it with my body like this.
“You’re being extra forward today… Gachi.”
“Hm?”
“Me… I’ve been feeling something lately.”
“What is it?”
When I asked, noona hemmed and hawed, unable to continue for a moment, but then she steeled her expression and answered.
“I… think I might be a bit of a pervert.”
In that instant the world stopped.
…What did noona just say?
“When I’m being affectionate with you like this, or when it’s just the two of us at night, or when you tell me you love me… I start wanting to feel you even more. Deeper than this…”
Hearing her say that confirmed I hadn’t misheard. Still, hearing the word “pervert” come out of noona’s mouth… it really startled me…
“Earlier you said you didn’t want to do it with that kind of feeling. But I’m not in that mood anymore. Right now I can only see you, and the only thing in my heart is what I feel for you.”
As if to prove it, noona covered my lips with hers, and I accepted her.
We exchanged saliva more deeply than usual.
We wanted each other so badly it was hard to breathe, and in that frozen time a happiness so intense it made my head go blank welled up inside me.
Then our lips parted and time began to flow again.
In the heated atmosphere, noona still whispered to me in that sweet voice.
“Even so, I want to do it with you. This is just my honest feeling.”
Smack.
She planted a loud kiss on my forehead, then gradually moved down—eyes, cheek, chin—
“Haah, chup.”
“Ugh.”
—and sucked hard on the side of my neck. Hard enough that I could feel her determination to mark me as hers.
There was a little pain from it, but an even more stimulating sensation overrode it.
While sucking on my neck, noona’s tongue was licking me. The ticklish feeling made me… grow more and more excited.
“Pwah. I want to leave proof that you’re mine… and at the same time I want you to leave proof that I’m yours.”
My face must have been a complete mess right now. After all, inside me embarrassment, excitement, and the desire for something more were all swirling together.
I ran my fingers over the kiss mark she had left on my neck. The spot was still damp with her saliva.
This was where the proof that I belonged to noona had been carved.
Thump.
A heartbeat that rivaled the first time I ever saw her smile.
I thought I was starting to understand a little of how she felt when she asked for proof that she was mine.
“Don’t make me wait too long. If you make me wait too long… I’ll be the one to jump you first.”
“…Okay.”
Even with her face flushed red, she stated her hidden feelings so boldly that I found myself thinking, Ah… I really can’t win against noona.
Even so, I knew why she was saying those things, so I quietly resolved to do my best.
Because—
This is the one thing she’s waiting for me to approach first.
Two in the morning.
After spending a full hour just kissing, we naturally ended up lying together on noona’s bed. It was a small bed, so she was nestled in my arms so we wouldn’t fall off.
“If we’re going to do this, next time we sleep at your place we should share the bed too…”
“Yeah, that would be better.”
I agreed with noona’s words that there was no longer any need for us to sleep separately.
After all, even on a bed smaller than mine, lying like this didn’t feel uncomfortable at all.
“Haa… I hear some couples do it on the very day they start dating…”
“Ha, haha. Let’s just walk our own path.”
“You talk a good game. Smack.”
“Did you mark my neck again?”
“No… earlier I saw it was darker than I expected. I just gave you a regular kiss.”
I could picture noona panicking when she checked the bathroom mirror and saw the kiss mark looking even more vivid than she thought. The way she fidgeted with her fingers and rolled her eyes like a guilty kid was so cute that I honestly couldn’t get mad.
“If we go out like this, people will get the wrong idea, right?”
“It’s fine. If we put a bandage over it, no one will notice.”
“Yeah, let’s do that.”
Since noona and I were a public couple, a mark like this would make anyone think that. Neither of us particularly liked being treated that way, so hiding it naturally felt like the better choice.
“Haaam, I’m getting sleepy…”
Even her yawning was cute.
“Let’s sleep. What time is your class tomorrow?”
“…Ten…”
“That’s pretty relaxed. Mine’s at eleven tomorrow.”
“Yeah, then… let’s go together.”
“Let’s.”
As I gently patted her back and answered, noona closed her eyes with a relieved smile and drifted off to sleep.
Looking at her like that, I felt glad. It really seemed like noona was okay now.
But… a lingering unease still remained inside me.
“I can’t just leave this feeling sitting here.”
Ever since she told me about the past, she hadn’t mentioned that person even once. But while listening to her, I had realized something.
More accurately, I had felt it.
Tomorrow… after I walk her to class, I’ll check.
And I’ll settle it properly.
Even if that past is what made noona who she is now, that person will only get in the way of the path we walk from here on.