Chapter 46
Chapter 46
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 46
Chapter Title: Return to Korea - 2
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"...You ever regret it?"
"Yeah."
It was a subjectless question, but between us, it was obvious what it meant.
I was just asking to confirm.
"That. You're talking about Yerim's family, right?"
"...Yeah, that's right."
Han Sea's fingers fidgeted on her lap as she bowed her head.
"Hmm, let me just ask one thing first."
"...What?"
"You sure this isn't some hidden camera prank?"
I glanced around suspiciously, wondering if a phone camera was on somewhere, but Han Sea huffed and smacked my thigh repeatedly.
"Ugh, you're so annoying! You think you're some celebrity or what? I was being serious, and you bring up hidden cameras!"
"Ow, that hurts! Hey, hey, I get it, stop hitting me."
Damn, her hands hurt like hell.
I thought she'd hit me once or twice and stop, but she kept targeting the same spot, making it sting like crazy.
She probably thought she was being serious and I was taking it as a joke.
Honestly, I felt a bit wronged.
Regret it? If I said yeah here and it somehow got back to Yerim's ears...
...Ugh, I didn't even want to think about it.
From my perspective, it was no joke—it was a serious question, but her sudden words felt like an assassination attempt, so I just reacted.
I didn't have the confidence to explain that to Han Sea, who was snorting right in front of me.
"Why the sudden thing? Did you fight with Seo Jinhyuk again or something?"
"Don't say 'again.' And... it's not like that."
Just moments ago, she'd been huffing like an oni had possessed her.
Now she was curled up on the chair, knees hugged to her chest—the classic pillbug mode.
"Then why the sudden mood?"
"...Just."
"Just?"
"......Yeah. Just. Wondering how you felt about it."
Like siblings, huh.
Just.
The handy word I always used when even I didn't know why I was acting up.
So convenient.
She'd impulsively brought up regretting it when she came to see me suddenly.
But that thought itself—hadn't it been tucked away deep in her heart for a long time?
Today, the dam finally broke, letting those hidden feelings spill out.
"...Why? Do you regret it? Deciding to wait for Seo Jinhyuk?"
That's why I responded seriously too.
Seo Jinhyuk—my girlfriend's brother and my longtime friend—was a precious connection, for sure.
But Han Sea... Sea was my one and only little sister.
If I had to side with one, I'd always pick my sister.
That's what being a big brother was.
That's who I was.
............Of course, putting Yerim and Han Sea on the same level would make me feel a little bad for Sea. Anyway, that's how it was.
Anyway, if Han Sea—after all this waiting—now regretted it or found it too hard to keep going.
Or if she was waffling because she couldn't let go.
Even if it meant earning Seo Jinhyuk's resentment, I was ready to step in.
I wouldn't think, "Why can't you wait?" or "Too late for that now."
I knew that just because I could wait didn't mean others could.
I'd watched from the sidelines and knew she'd tried her best.
"...I asked first. Can't you tell me first...?"
Sneaky.
But I wasn't trash enough to refuse my little sister's desperate plea when she was showing weakness in front of me.
So I thought about it seriously.
Had I really never regretted waiting for Yerim?
I pondered for a moment, then slowly opened my mouth.
"Saying I've never regretted it... that'd be a lie."
Revealing a secret I'd never told anyone made my throat feel parched somehow.
"Reasons vary. First off... regret, I guess. Right after Yerim left, I regretted not spending more time with her while she was here. Not showing my feelings. Foolishly realizing too late how much I wanted to do with her, but she wasn't by my side anymore. I regretted not doing those things when I had the chance."
I swallowed once and continued with "And—"
"And... I was anxious, inevitably. Yerim would get really mad if she heard this, but."
"...Anxious? You? ...Why?"
Han Sea stared at me with wide eyes, like she'd heard something unbelievable.
"Sea. Every day, hundreds or thousands of songs, dramas, movies about love and breakup pour out worldwide. Countless people love, part ways. Don't you think they all promised eternity to each other?"
"......"
"So yeah. I regretted it. Felt anxious, scared. I have faith I won't change, I trust Yerim. But what if. Just in case, what if my feelings aren't reciprocated."
Was she putting herself in my story?
A chuckle escaped at Han Sea's somehow gloomy look.
Listen to the end in Korean.
"But none of that matters now."
"...Huh?"
"I've noted down everything I want to do with Yerim, so when she comes back someday, we can just do them. Now it's less regret, more anticipation."
It was sincere. Endless regretting wasn't my style.
"And... over three-plus years—long if long, short if short—neither I nor Yerim changed. If someone asks if I endured being apart and could do it again, I'd tell them to screw off. But I like this one thing."
I gently stroked Han Sea's hair and grinned.
"They say distance makes the heart grow distant, but not us. Even apart physically, our hearts grew closer. I'm sure of it."
Not a single day missed during our time apart.
The way Yerim looked at me, her voice calling me, her gestures toward me.
I felt her love for me in all of it—so unmistakably.
"Makes me curious, actually. How much deeper we'll fall when our bodies get close too."
"...Curious my ass. From what I see, the day your bodies get close, you'll be doing it all da—mmph."
"You little punk, no filter."
"Ow! Oppa hit me—!"
"You deserved it. Even Mom would agree."
I smacked Han Sea's mouth shut after she ruined the mood with her sex joke.
"Anyway. I've regretted things, but never regretted waiting for Yerim. It was my choice, and the happy moments outweighed it. It's just a bit tougher lately since it's later than planned. But I'll get it back later."
"...How?"
"......I'm going to the army too. We're even."
"............So I have to wait again?"
"Wanna come with me? No waiting then."
"Oppa. Are you insane?"
"...Getting all serious. Hey, I don't wanna go either? Thought it'd be unified by then, damn it..."
I'd regretted not having enough time with Yerim more than once or twice, but Han Sea had even less time together and multiples more waiting.
And with more waiting ahead, even my sister had it rough.
Someday if she cursed out Seo Jinhyuk, he wouldn't have a leg to stand on.
"Anyway, hang in there a bit longer. Those two don't wanna stay away from Korea either."
"......Yeah."
"If Seo Jinhyuk neglects you or something? I'll kill him for you..."
"No. He treats me really well. ...That's why I feel even more sorry."
"Regret it?"
"...I didn't say regret. Just, sometimes Jinhyuk oppa and I wonder if this was right, if there wasn't a happier path for us both. That's all that makes me sorry."
"...Who said emotions are complex."
"Complex?"
"Yeah. Feeling sorry toward Seo Jinhyuk. Liking him. Both real. Don't overthink. Just treat him well normally, and better when sorry. That's it."
"...Like means like, sorry means sorry. What's complex, dummy."
That's what your boyfriend told you.
The truth rose to my throat, but I swallowed it hard, saving it for when Seo Jinhyuk was around next time.
"Whatever. Out now. Time to study."
"Hah, using study as an excuse to kick me out! You were gonna clean your room to avoid studying!"
"......No, your room was messy?"
I pushed the squealing, noisy Han Sea out firmly.
She resisted leaving, but right before I shoved her out the door, she glanced back.
"...Oppa."
"What now."
"Thanks for listening."
She winked one eye at me.
I fake-gagged, then got smacked hard on the back.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
I'd acted all mature in front of Han Sea.
Truth was, I wasn't leisurely either.
Just believing it'd be soon, even if tough, and waiting.
As vacation ended in March—worst timing.
As school started, Yerim said she'd be busy and contact might be hard for a while—and then calls stopped coming.
...Miss Yerim's voice.
With CSAT stress closing in, her voice was my life's solace.
We exchanged spotty messages, but no calls—it was burning me up inside.
Worried something big happened, I asked straight, but she just apologized without saying what.
As stress piled up daily and I got edgier.
Opening day arrived.
...Really don't wanna go to school.
Already a senior, but stepping into the classroom would make it real.
Drizzle falling too—leaving home, I knew today would suck.
Han Sea left early without a word, oddly.
Rain pattering on my umbrella, shoes splashing white noise—I sank into thought.
What was Yerim doing now? Asleep? Gotta study math today, etc.
As random thoughts swirled, something poked my shoulder.
Raindrop off the umbrella? I ignored and stepped on—
Poke poke again.
Who? I slowly turned.
Froze mid-turn.
Because.
"...Oppa."
On the misty spring rain street.
A single cherry blossom bloomed brilliantly.