Chapter 45
Chapter 45
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 45
Chapter Title: Return to Korea - 1
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High school sophomore year, spring.
A new semester began, and the same old routine kicked off once again.
Ah, not exactly the same.
Yoon Dohyun, who'd been in my class for three straight years, was finally in a different one. And... Lee Yuri, too.
In Yoon Dohyun's case, we'd bickered about how refreshing it'd be to finally split up, but honestly, it'd be a lie to say I wasn't a little bummed.
Lee Yuri's case... sorry, but I was relieved we'd be in different classes. For her sake, and mine.
Otherwise, it was calls with Yerim every morning when I woke up and every night before bed, swapping stories about our days.
Heading back and forth between school and home, pouring everything into studying—a monotonous routine like that.
As monotonous as it was, I'd teetered on the edge of giving in to dopamine temptations countless times, but I held firm. My steadily climbing grades were proof of the effort, and the goal of going to the same university as Yerim kept me going.
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It was almost identical to last year.
Except for one thing.
...This year marked the third anniversary of Yerim leaving.
Of course, since it was the minimum three years, I'd told myself over and over not to get my hopes up too high.
Still, I couldn't help looking forward to it.
Yeah.
I just couldn't help it.
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High school sophomore year, summer.
Yoon Dohyun barged into our class and plopped down in the seat in front of me, hyping up some big announcement.
Figuring he was about to spout more bullshit, I told him to spit it out.
He claimed he couldn't be called a boy anymore and apologized for becoming an adult first.
Ah, that explained why he always seemed weirdly upbeat whenever we crossed paths—like he'd eaten something funky.
Nope, he just couldn't hold back his horniness anymore.
Watching him pat my shoulder and tell me to call him "hyung" from now on, I thought to myself.
— ...Wasn't this a done deal ages ago?
No matter how close we were, it felt awkward straight-up asking, "You done it yet?" But with ten girlfriends under his belt, the psycho obviously had, right? I'd assumed as much without thinking.
More than the fact that he'd beaten me to it, I was a little—no, a lot—shocked by how it seemed like his first time. Keeping a straight face was tough.
No wonder this girlfriend had lasted longer. Guess even this guy had his own standards?
"Hey, you know what really shocked me?"
"What, you finally saw a mirror?"
"If you're jealous, just say so, asshole. Nah, I thought it was just me dying to do it, but turns out my girlfriend had been wanting it for ages too. It's not just guys who crave it."
I was dumbfounded watching him snort like a caveman who'd discovered fire, insisting it wasn't just a guy thing.
"You two just click, so of course your minds synced up. Not everyone does."
"...I did the deed, so why's Han Woojin the one hitting sage mode? You think yours is any different?"
"...You don't know Yerim, dumbass. She's so pure."
Yoon Dohyun's mouth opened like he was about to argue, then slowly shut.
"Sigh... yeah, probably. Thinking about it after what you said, your girlfriend would probably be thrilled just holding hands."
— Hell yeah, she would.
"Whatever. ...So. Was it good?"
Yoon Dohyun's lips, which had been drooping, shot up at my words as he let out a sleazy "Heh heh heh."
"Dude, I can tell just from your face."
His lecherous grin said it all—no need for more questions. I couldn't help but laugh.
That day, Yoon Dohyun yapped nonstop until he headed home, blabbing about how atmosphere matters, condom thickness is key, never forget what your hyung says—bullshit disguised as advice.
...I'm jealous.
Not so much of the act itself.
But watching him over the moon about making a midsummer night's memory with his girlfriend...
It made me feel just a tiny bit envious.
......Of course, I'm not saying I wasn't jealous of the fact that he did it either. Ahem.
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High school sophomore year, autumn.
My birthday rolled around again, somehow unscathed.
Yerim sent another ridiculously expensive set of pens and shoes.
— The whole world is Yerim...
At this point, everything around me was made up of gifts from her.
And Yerim, where the heck did you even find these...?
I had no idea ballpoint pens and mechanical pencils could cost this much.
They were plenty already, but then she sent shoes too. Why two pairs? Out of guilt? That's what I thought at first.
Then the uncomfortable truth hit me.
Right now...
I'd subconsciously been thinking Yerim owed me an apology.
I was shocked at myself for tainting her precious feelings—chosen hoping I'd be thrilled—with thoughts of "maybe out of guilt."
...This won't do. Really, it won't.
Han Woojin, you know better than anyone that Yerim did nothing wrong.
— But.
Three years.
Three years had flown by before I knew it, and time wasn't waiting around—it was rushing on even now.
I'd anticipated it since the "minimum three years" mark.
Warm spring passed, sweltering summer passed.
Each time, I'd console myself that three years hadn't passed yet.
But now, facing a bittersweet autumn without her even after three years...
I couldn't help feeling, just a little, really just the tiniest bit...
That maybe it wasn't too late.
I really, truly couldn't help it.
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High school sophomore year, winter.
As senior year loomed right around the corner, I actually felt relieved.
The massive beast called the CSAT was forcing me to divert at least some attention elsewhere.
For Yerim, and for me.
We avoided bringing up her return home, like we'd made a pact.
Yoon Dohyun, my other friends too.
No one asked anymore when that beauty of a girlfriend was coming back.
Even Han Sea.
She stopped whining about how great it'd be if those two came back soon.
Of course, she hadn't outright asked Yerim when she was returning even before.
She didn't want to worry her.
But now, I felt like I couldn't even ask if I wanted to.
Afraid I'd hear "a few more years" from her mouth again.
I had no choice but to prescribe myself a dose of blissful ignorance.
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"Ugh, I really don't wanna do this..."
This isn't human life, fuck. It's slave life.
Winter break hit, and aside from heading out to exercise, I was in full final-spurt mode for senior year—holed up at home all day studying. It felt like I was gonna die.
At this rate, even I'd start spouting genius macro #1: "Studying was the easiest thing in the world~"
But nope, no such feelings here—studying was still the worst thing ever. No, worse than hate; it was pure hell.
I turned my head away from the dense problem book that made me wanna puke, and my eyes landed on my room, which somehow looked dirtier than usual.
...Was my room always this messy?
The blanket on the bed seemed a bit more rumpled than normal too.
...Maybe I'll just clean the room and then study?
Figured out why studying wasn't clicking today.
After cleaning, I'll be wiped, so a quick nap as a reward, then back to it. Perfect plan. Yeah.
I was about to stand from the chair when—
The door flew open, and Han Sea barged in.
"Oppa, studying must suck~! Have some fruit and... uh...?"
"..."
"Eek, why're you frozen like that...? Did I come at a bad time...? Should I step out for five minutes...?"
"...What kinda nonsense is that?"
"Oh, five minutes too short...? I'm not that experienced..."
"Argh, no! I was just getting up to clean when you walked in."
"Ohhh, what~? I thought from your pose and that shocked face when you saw me that you were stressed from studying and looking to vent~"
"...What the hell."
...Han Sea, this girl. Her detective skills were so sharp sometimes, like there was CCTV in my room. This time it was cleaning, but yeah, other times too.
"But why clean? Your room looks spotless."
"What're you talking about? Look close—there's dust, blanket's messy. Don't you know study environment is crucial for exam takers?"
I laid out my logical reasons for cleaning, and Han Sea looked at me with pity.
"...Oppa, you struggling that much?"
"Why look at me like that...?"
"No, but..."
Han Sea trailed off, then nodded with a wise, understanding smile, like she'd figured it all out.
"...Yeah, no. Your room looks pristine no matter how I look, blanket's normal too. But if it helps you feel better, I get it, totally. Want me to help with anything?"
...She says she understands, but treats me like a study-maddened lunatic. I was floored.
"No. No, so get out, please. I'll eat the fruit."
"That's no way to treat your adorable little sister~!"
"Adorable my ass. And your treatment of me is worse."
...This isn't relaxing.
Talking to her was draining my soul, so I shooed her out with waves.
"Tch, fine. I'll go! ...But oppa, one thing before I do?"
"What."
Expecting some trivial crap, I glanced at Han Sea, but she looked oddly tense.
She opened and closed her mouth a few times, like it was hard to say.
Finally, she broached it slowly.
"Oppa... have you ever regretted it?"