Chapter 35
Chapter 35
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 35
Chapter Title: Go, Back
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"...B-but, hic, is it okay?"
Yerim, who had been desperately holding back her tears, finally managed to speak through hiccups.
"...So, you were going to give up on me?"
"No, I couldn't... I just, sob, I just couldn't do it... Every night, I knew in my head that I had to, and I tried so many times. But I couldn't..."
"...That's why you kept your study abroad plans a secret until today?"
"Hic, because I didn't trust myself to let go of you... I'm sorry for being so selfish..."
A warm summer breeze brushed past us.
I reached out to Yerim, who kept apologizing through her tears.
I gently caressed her moist, soft cheek and wiped under her eyes.
"If you're going to be selfish, then be selfish all the way. What were you planning to do if you just left like that?"
"The moment I came back, I was going to find you somehow and beg..."
Pfft. I shouldn't laugh.
I bit down hard to stop myself from smiling at Yerim's desperate yet simple idea.
From her perspective, she must have been that cornered to come up with something like that.
"What if I'd started dating another girl in the meantime? Would that have been okay with you?"
Of course, nothing like that would happen, but I was curious. It wouldn't be okay with me, so was it okay with her?
At my words, Yerim's teary eyes widened in shock, and then she clasped her hands over mine.
Like a cat purring for more pets, she slowly rubbed her soft cheek against my hand.
"No, I hate that... Absolutely not..."
"...Absolutely?"
"Yeah, you're mine forever. I won't ever let you go..."
I hadn't meant for her to grab my hand so tightly.
"Mmm..."
But watching Yerim close her eyes gently, rubbing her cheek against my hand like she was blissed out, I couldn't help thinking it didn't matter.
...So soft.
Her face was small enough that one hand could almost cover it.
Her long eyelashes, her straight nose.
As I poked each feature lightly, she let out a ticklish hum but adjusted her face to make it easier for me to touch.
A smile crept onto my face at the sight.
If I'd known it would feel this soft.
If I'd known she'd like it this much.
I should've caressed her sooner.
I should've approached her sooner.
If I'd mustered my courage earlier, wouldn't we have made so many more memories?
Pain swelled from all the unfulfilled what-ifs flooding my mind.
Because I was a coward.
If I hadn't hidden behind that sweet lie about becoming someone worthy of her and had just confessed my true feelings from the start.
But.
It was all pointless hypotheticals and meaningless self-blame.
Because I could change starting now.
"I thought you'd be mad... Like, you wouldn't even want to look at me anymore..."
Now somewhat calmed, Yerim leaned against my hand to catch her breath, but as she spoke, imagining it made her freshly still eyelashes tremble again.
"More surprised than mad, since it was so sudden... Though I did get a little angry."
"...You were mad?"
"...A bit."
"I'm sorry, really..."
"But."
Yerim sniffled and looked up as if urging me to continue.
"...Do you remember what I said when I first saw you?"
"What...?"
I repeated the words I'd feel every time I looked at her for the rest of my life.
Back then it was about her eyes, so the meaning was a bit different now, but.
"I told you... You're special."
Like clouds parting to let warm sunlight pour in.
Yerim's eyes softened into gentle curves, her face blooming into a radiant smile.
"...Yeah, I remember."
"Even if I wanted to be mad, those eyes kept whispering to me. What could I do?"
"...You heard them well?"
"...Yeah."
"Good..."
As she looked up at me, cherry blossoms bloomed dazzlingly in Yerim's eyes.
As if she couldn't hold back anymore, she lightly nibbled my palm, then smiled adorably and said,
"Oppa, I love you... So, so much... So please..."
She pleaded in a whisper for me to wait for her.
"...I'll wait. For as long as it takes."
— Don't go.
All I could do was let her hold me tight.
And so.
Around the start of summer break, I gained Yerim.
And as summer break ended, I lost her.
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That night.
[I have something to say tonight. It'd be great if everyone could gather.]
"Hey, Yerim. What's with the family group chat? What are you gonna tell Mom and Dad tonight?"
Jinhyuk oppa sat next to me, asking curiously.
"Finally throwing a tantrum right before leaving, saying you won't go with me after all?"
"...It's not that. It's too late now anyway."
"True. Ha, life..."
"Oppa, did you tell Sea?"
"...Couldn't. You?"
"I told her today."
"No wonder. Your eyes were so puffy, I thought you'd gotten beaten up or something."
"......"
"So, what did Han Woojin say? Did he pour soy sauce on the window and make a scene? Or did he say he'd wait?"
"...He said he'd wait."
Just recalling Woojin oppas expression from earlier made my heart pound.
"...Just hearing what Han Woojin said is enough to change your eyes like that. Scary, Han Woojin."
...So it wasn't my imagination.
"You used to say you felt too guilty to make him wait. Knew it."
I got a little annoyed at oppa smirking like he'd called it,
...But he wasn't wrong, so I held it in.
"That's why."
"Why what?"
"What I'm telling Mom and Dad tonight."
"...? What does that have to do with anything?"
"When I come back. It'll make Woojin oppa glad he waited for me. Definitely."
I wanted to give Jinhyuk oppa the same happiness he'd given me with his overflowing love.
Because he deserved it.
"...What the hell are you gonna say?"
Since Jinhyuk oppa would hear it anyway, I told him ahead of time—
"...Crazy, you're serious?"
Of course I was serious.
That was all I could say to my shocked brother.
"Yeah."
Jinhyuk oppa muttered something about clear eyes upon hearing my answer,
But it didn't matter.
Just like Woojin oppa said, I'd hold on tight.
Never letting go.
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Time flew by in a blur.
Like our feet were on fire, Yerim and I spent every day together until departure.
Han Sea threw a tearful fit upon hearing the news late, and Seo Jinhyuk got dragged to our house by the hair in a minor incident,
But.
Yerim and Jinhyuk.
Left our sides as suddenly as they'd appeared that day.
Did I see them off with a smile?
I'd braced myself, but it wasn't easy.
Like that part of my memory had been erased,
I couldn't remember what I'd said or what expression I'd made.
When I came to, Han Sea was hugging me, sobbing her heart out.
I stumbled home like a soulless zombie, collapsed on my bed, closed my eyes, and opened them to the next day.
...Did she arrive safely?
She said she'd message when she landed, but my phone was silent, so probably not yet.
Maybe because I'd crashed right away last night, I was starving. As I headed out for breakfast, someone knocked.
"Delivery!"
Right as I stepped out.
The delivery guy held a box.
"Is this Han Woojin's place?"
"Yeah, that's me."
"Ah~ Could you sign here then?"
"Me...?"
I signed, puzzled, and he thanked me hurriedly before leaving.
Who'd send me something? Checking the box, the sender was written neatly as Seo Yerim.
A smile spread across my face instantly.
...She really loves surprises.
Wondering what it was this time, I opened it to find an envelope and puppy pajamas.
A cute letter was attached to the pajamas, so I carefully opened it.
[Our couple pajamas... You're the puppy, I'm the kitty. You have to send a pic after wearing them...?]
"Haha..."
Seeing the cute cat and puppy doodles made my heart tickle.
As I touched the pajamas to try them on, I realized.
— These are expensive.
Just feeling them screamed money, like when I'd received my wallet.
I'd told her mine weren't expensive and cheap gifts were fine... A wry chuckle escaped at Yerim's stubbornness in this area.
Couple pajamas. What a sweet ring to it...
Strictly speaking, not matching, but she valued the concept. If she saw it that way, fine by me.
Just thinking of it as our glorious first couple item kept my lips curved up.
As I grinned alone, the lone envelope caught my eye.
Curious, I opened it to find a bankbook and a small note.
......A bankbook?
Clueless, I checked the note: just "Marriage Bankbook" with no explanation.
"What is this...?"
Starting to save from now? Cute.
Thinking lightly, I opened the bankbook.
"...Huh?"
The pristine new bankbook I'd expected was already in use.
The first deposit was the month after we met, last May.
Varying amounts were deposited monthly.
Sometimes 100,000 won, 145,000 won, 120,000 won...
Probably all her leftover allowance that month.
All entries except the last were from [Fridge].
The last one, this month.
[I love you]
Plip. Plop.
A teardrop fell beside the depositor name, already faintly wet.
"Hic, what is this...?"
Yerim's words about saving separately flashed back.
While I was content with the present.
You were already envisioning our future together.
Next after fridge would've been TV or washer, right?
...Asking me to wait.
"Hic, making me miss you already like this..."
I couldn't see you anymore.
Thinking of you nurturing your feelings with this bankbook, I already missed you so much.
I couldn't hold back and burst into sobs.