#30 - I Don't Want Us to End... The Most Crucial Time... August Has Come
August had become the most important period, and the reason was simple.
It was the last month I could tutor Na-eun.
Starting next month, I'd have to head back to school myself. Study hard, grind through assignments... that kind of life.
Which meant I wouldn't be able to tutor her anymore.
So at the very least, I needed to check if Na-eun's current scores were enough to get her into Jinhan University.
If they weren't, my tutoring would end in failure. And it'd be a huge letdown for her too, obviously.
That made me teach her even harder.
"This problem..."
I broke down each question for Na-eun, explaining it piece by piece, and she stared at it intently, nodding over and over.
It was our usual routine. Every study session.
But with so little time left, I taught with even more desperation.
A week after starting this intense push...
"Na-eun."
"Yeah, oppa?"
"Today, we're doing a full mock exam with last year's CSAT."
"Last year's CSAT?"
"Yeah, I think it's time."
We decided to run a mock exam using last year's CSAT.
Up until now, I'd avoided teaching her problems from it or anything similar, saving them for this day.
To see how she'd handle new question types. And to get a solid read on her potential scores.
So today, we were doing her final CSAT mock exam. Maybe her last one ever.
*
I'd done my best to mimic the real CSAT setup.
A low-quality audio file for listening, an uncomfortably new chair, even the actual exam announcements. All prepared.
Of course, I'd stand behind her the whole time, like a proctor.
"You're really going all out."
Seeing her a bit tense made me satisfied.
At least I'd succeeded in giving her the tension she needed most right now.
"Na-eun, let's start with Korean."
"Okay."
Na-eun nodded, slapped her cheeks a couple times to psych herself up, adjusted her posture, and stared at the workbook.
That workbook had been a pain to get—a paper size matching the real exam.
The texture wasn't perfect, but it should be close enough.
She started filling in her name and fake exam number on the OMR sheet.
Once she finished, I told her:
"We're starting now."
Na-eun didn't respond, just kept her eyes on the paper.
Perfect. No talking. Right now, this wasn't her room—it was a CSAT classroom.
I played the crappy-quality announcement from my phone.
And that all-too-familiar, infuriating voice echoed out:
First Period: Main Exam Begins.
The moment she heard it, Na-eun flipped the page and dove in. I watched quietly as she worked.
Those 80 minutes dragged on—boring but intense.
In that time, she meticulously tackled all 45 Korean problems, and with about 20 minutes left, she even circled back to the tricky ones.
Plenty of time, great pace. Compared to when I first started tutoring her, she'd leveled up big time.
-Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!
First Period: Exam Ends.
The second time ended, I silently collected her OMR sheet.
Na-eun stretched without a care, like nothing was wrong.
Right after, I asked:
"Na-eun, how'd Korean go?"
"...It was decently doable."
Decently doable... Excellent.
Last year's Korean was on the tougher side—not a total killer, but no walk in the park.
And she found it decent? If this year's is average, she's golden for a 1st grade.
"Good. Like the real CSAT, 20-minute break, then math."
"Okay~"
She flopped face-down on the desk.
Probably mimicking real exam break vibes. I wouldn't complain if she crashed in bed right now, but damn, she's diligent.
Anyway... After that, I had her do math, English, Korean history, and two electives—all timed exactly like the CSAT.
She kept up perfectly.
It felt a bit like kids playing pretend, but we were both dead serious—no joking around.
Once it was all done...
I graded using the OMR sheets I'd collected.
An old trick from my Korean history teacher: Prep one answer key OMR with holes punched in the right spots. Overlay it—no scanner needed.
Holes align with black marks for correct; blanks for wrong.
Using that wisdom, I finished scoring and broke the news to Na-eun.
"Na-eun, don't freak out—listen up."
"Okay..."
"Korean: 1st grade. Missed exactly two."
"Really...?"
"Yeah, one 2-pointer and one 3-pointer. The 2-pointer stings a bit, but solid job."
"Hehehe."
She beamed, happy as could be.
But the real bombshell was next.
"Now, math..."
Her eyes went wide with tension at the word.
Math—her weakest subject.
I stepped closer to her anxious face.
And...
-Pat pat pat
Stroked her head.
"You nailed it. 1st grade."
"For real!?"
"Dead serious. 1st grade."
88 points—she bombed three 4-pointers.
Last year's math 1st-grade cutoff? 88. Barely scraped by, but she did it.
"But last year's math was average difficulty. If this year spikes, you could drop to 2nd... or even 3rd."
She wasn't hearing me—fist-pumping and bouncing with excitement. I let her have it.
"English: 1st. Both electives: 1st. Korean history: 2nd. Jinhan University's a breeze at this rate."
"A breeze?"
"Total breeze."
No major screw-ups, and she could aim for top-three unis. I was dead serious.
"Na-eun, these scores? Jinhan any department—practically a free pass. Even lower tiers at the top three are doable."
"Sure, majors matter, but school prestige trumps. You could—"
I got that far, and she glared, shaking her head.
"No, I'm going to Jinhan. No question."
"...Fine, if that's what you want."
Yeah, nursing isn't low-entry anyway. Top three needs rock-solid math 1st grades. Whatever.
"Guess you can relax now."
"Huh?"
"What else? Tutoring ends this month."
I said it casually. It was the truth.
But...
"......Why?"
She sounded shocked, like she hadn't heard a word.
"...Gotta go back to school?"
"Even after reenrolling, you can, um, still... tutor me... right?"
"Can't give it my all like now..."
Her face darkened with every word.
What did I mess up?
I just stroked her stunned head and said:
"...I'll head out for today. See you tomorrow."
"O... okay... See you tomorrow..."
Leaving her deflated, I stepped out of Na-eun's house.
Pondering how to cheer her up.
* * *
No, no way, I hate it, hate it, hate it.
I knew he'd reenroll this semester, but I didn't think it'd end the tutoring.
How, after we reconnected, got close again...
No, absolutely not. I'm not letting go.
What do I do? How do I make Seonwoo oppa keep tutoring me?
Should I have bombed the mock? Cry and beg?
How...?
How do I make him keep teaching me?
How... what do I do...?