#22 - The Crucial Mock Exam
About two weeks had passed since Na-eun and I went out to have fun.
Once those two weeks were up and June rolled around, it was time for me to start preparing for that.
Na-eun's Mock Exam, plain as day on the calendar sitting on my desk.
Na-eun had been diligently studying and steadily improving her scores.
Even though her grades were never low to begin with, she never got complacent—she worked her butt off. Teaching her was an absolute joy because of it.
And now, the time had come to see the fruits of all that hard work.
The June Mock Exam is the most important one out of all the mocks you take in a year.
Its difficulty is the closest to the actual CSAT (Suneung), and it's hosted by the Evaluation Institute—the very folks who make the real exam questions.
On top of that, even repeat test-takers sit for it, so it's a crucial benchmark for current high school seniors to gauge their objective standing.
That's why people say your June Mock score is basically what you'll get on the CSAT—it's that big a deal.
Sure, the September Mock is also run by the Evaluation Institute and just as important, but by then, all the CSAT questions are already finalized, so they tend to make it a bit easier.
Anyway, point is, the June one is the king.
Na-eun's goal for this June Mock: 1st grade in Korean, English, and both Social Studies subjects, 2nd grade in Math. Korean History just needs to clear 4th grade—anything around 3rd would be gravy.
If she hits those marks, assuming she keeps up this study momentum, she'll score enough on the real CSAT to get into Jinhan University.
If she falls a bit short...
...I'd rather not think about it. I'd have to see that devastated look on her face, and I don't want to.
Of course, if her real scores don't measure up, I'd just teach her even harder.
With more intensity, pouring my heart into helping her.
Hard work like that can push your CSAT scores higher than even your June Mock, after all.
With those thoughts in mind, I checked my phone.
Sure enough, there was a problem Na-eun had snapped a pic of and sent over.
I'd told her to hit me up right away if she got stuck studying at home, and damn if she doesn't milk that for all it's worth.
She's one smart cookie, that Na-eun.
Pen in one hand, phone in the other, I solved the problem, snapped a pic of my work, and sent it back.
Normally, I'd just drop some hints to spark her thinking, but this problem she was tackling wasn't the kind where that'd fly.
Harsh to say it, but the problem was straight-up nasty.
Looks like it was from last May's Mock Exam or something—explains why other mocks aren't as objective as the June or September ones.
They're either way too hard or way too easy.
*
A few days later, Thursday rolled around.
I'd skipped Wednesday's tutoring session this week on purpose—wanted her to study solo the day before.
Instead, today, once she got home from the Mock Exam, we'd grade it together and go over solutions.
Waiting for her in the apartment complex, I heard that super cute voice right in front of me.
"Seonwoo oppa~"
"Oh, you're back?"
Na-eun was in her usual school uniform. But this one was worlds apart from the winter or spring/fall versions I'd seen before.
Probably her school's summer uniform.
Definitely looked comfier than the heavier ones, and honestly, way cuter than what we had back in the day. The plaid pattern might strike some as tacky, but it's still a step up from our ratty gray getups.
Damn school—couldn't hook us up with something cute like that? We got stuck with mouse-brown.
My mind wandered for a sec, but it was time to ask the big question, so I turned back to Na-eun.
"So, Na-eun, how'd the exam go?"
"Hmm... it's iffy."
"Iffy?"
"...Yeah."
Her voice had that guilty edge to it, throwing me off a bit, but we headed inside together anyway.
Had to find out what made it iffy.
And that's when I learned why she'd called it that.
"...These scores are super iffy."
"Yeah..."
It was one of those score ranges where you couldn't pin down the grades for sure.
Korean: 93 points—solid 1st grade unless some crazy variable spikes.
Math: 83 points—locks in 2nd grade, but a shift could drop it to 3rd.
English (absolute grading): 91 points, barely scraping over the 1st-grade line.
Korean History: 39 points, exactly what she needed.
Social Studies: One 3-point miss each—should be 1st grade barring miracles.
Bottom line: Korean and Math were the shaky ones.
Scores that could slip a grade if things went south—that was Na-eun's reality right now.
"No grade predictions out yet?"
"They are, actually."
She showed me the grade predictor she'd looked up, and I scanned it while talking her through it.
"...Looks like the difficulty was dead average this time. Straight-up standard cutlines. Except Social Studies."
"Right...?"
According to the predictor: Korean 1st, Math 2nd, both Social Studies 1st.
But everything but Korean was hanging by a thread.
Social Studies 1st-grade cut at 47 both, Math 2nd at 83.
"Social Studies came out easy, huh. But yeah, definite 1st grades there."
"Yeah..."
Na-eun nodded slowly, but she seemed to be gauging my reaction, which threw me.
I hadn't said anything harsh—why the side-eye?
If anything, she deserved praise. This was enough to aim for Jinhan U. Push higher, and she could hit safety nets for even better schools.
"Good job. This is solid."
"...Oppa."
"Yeah, Na-eun?"
"With this... can I get into Jinhan University...?"
"You can. More than enough."
Enough? It was overflowing. That's how I saw it.
Maintain this, and she's right on target. Improve, and she's golden.
No reason for her to be this anxious.
"Seriously, this is plenty."
"For real...?"
"For real. But Math needs a boost. This score's a little risky."
"...Yeah, I know."
She nodded heavily.
Na-eun's got that total humanities vibe. She flies through lit subjects with speed and confidence that evaporates on math/science.
She knows it too, so she grinds Math extra hard. Probably why she writes out every step in her solutions.
So admirable. So impressive.
"Na-eun, must be tough, right?"
"...Yeah. Kinda empty, honestly."
"How come?"
"I know I could've scored higher, but I didn't."
That's the perfect mindset. Overflowing, even.
So I praised her from the heart.
"Yeah, you can score higher. You've done great so far— you'll crush it going forward."
"For real...?"
"Dead serious."
"...Thanks, oppa."
Na-eun smiled small, looking over the moon. It lit me up too.
How could anyone not feel good with that pretty face beaming like that?
"Alright, let's lightly go over the misses today. Got it?"
"Yeah, got it."
I started reviewing her wrong answers—and the ones she got right but waffled on—with her.
She tackled them with even more focus than usual.
Desperate, even.
And I realized I only had about two months left to see this side of her.
Come September and classes start, tutoring her full-time would get tough.
* * *
So frustrating.
I knew I could've done better than this. Knew I could've scored higher.
Knew Seonwoo oppa could've praised me even more.
This regret could balloon later—might even make me cry.
That's why I study harder.
Study my ass off so I can walk that campus with Seonwoo oppa—as a freshman.
That's the fire fueling me right now.
"Na-eun, good work today."
Snapping out of it, our study session was already over.
Those four hours flew by like seconds, but now it was bittersweet. Time to say bye to Seonwoo oppa.
"You too, oppa."
"Alright, get some rest. I'm heading out."
As he stood, regret hit me—and before I knew it, I'd grabbed his hand tight.
"...Na-eun?"
"Oh, uh, um... that..."
My own move shocked me—I felt like I was glitching out.
What do I do? Say something? What if he thinks I'm weird?
Panicking over what to do next—
*pat pat*
...Seonwoo oppa's hand was suddenly stroking my head.
His big, cool, slightly rough hand petting me—my brain was melting.
It felt too good, too happy, too perfect.
Oblivious to it all, he chuckled lightly and spoke.
"I used to pat you like this before."
Yeah, he did—a lot. Whenever he praised me.
But this was different.
I'm not a kid anymore. Not the clueless little girl who didn't know she liked her brother's friend.
I like you, oppa. I love Seonwoo oppa.
With all that feeling, I gently rubbed my head against his hand.
Hoping my affection reached him.