Motivation (4)
Na-eun and I were lounging around the department lounge when lunchtime snuck up on us before we knew it.
"Na-eun, should we grab lunch now?"
She'd already gotten comfy in the lounge, leaning against one of those giant stuffed dolls, but she hopped up with a nod.
"Yeah, let's go eat!"
"Anything you're craving?"
"Something you used to eat a lot back when you were hanging out at uni!"
That left me with only one answer.
"Just Mom's Chicken."
"...For real?"
"Yeah, for real."
Ever since we started dating, we'd been trying out all sorts of places together, but honestly, aside from that chicken franchise, I hadn't branched out much. Nothing could beat it anyway. The portion size and quality for the price were on another level—it was hands-down the cheapest and best option.
Na-eun shot me a glare, clearly not thrilled, and launched into a little scolding.
"Oppa, weren't you skimping a bit on nutrition?"
"Sorry..."
I felt genuinely bad and bowed my head in apology. She let out a deep sigh before asking again.
"So, what's the best spot around here worth eating at?"
"Head down to the university district."
"...Wouldn't that take like 30 minutes round trip?"
"Yeah, about that, but we can still eat. Lunch break's long enough that we can take our time."
It wasn't that leisurely, but it wasn't bad. Na-eun nodded and sidled up next to me.
"Sounds good. Let's go to the university district then."
"Uh... yeah, sure."
I nodded and followed her lead toward the district.
The university district—honestly, I wasn't thrilled about bringing Na-eun here. This was the place packed with memories of me and my ex. Walking around with a girl felt like it stirred up some guilt, you know? No matter how cute Na-eun was, my friend's little sister or not, she was still a girl, so that unease was unavoidable.
Still, because she wanted to come, because she was excited about it, here we were.
"What do you feel like eating?"
"You'll buy me whatever, right, Oppa?"
"Of course I will."
Once Na-eun's an adult, who knows, but right now, I had zero interest in mooching off her. Pride and all that.
"Hmm~ Then I'm gonna go for something super expensive!"
"Yeah, yeah."
It made me a little nervous, but I played it cool. I wanted to spoil Na-eun without holding back, but I was still a broke college student myself, hungry as hell.
Na-eun hummed happily, scanning the surroundings. After a few minutes, she pointed at a spot with her finger.
"Oppa, let's go there."
"...There? You sure?"
"Yep! I love that stuff!"
The place she was pointing at sold food girls went crazy for. A mala tang joint—one of those spots every university district has.
I wasn't huge on mala tang myself. But since Na-eun wanted it, it felt like the right call.
Except there was one problem. This particular mala tang place? It was one my ex and I used to hit up a lot. Was that part-timer still working there? Or the owner from back then? I hoped not—deep down, I really hoped not—as we stepped inside...
"Welcome~"
...And there she was, the part-timer from my memories, still slinging mala tang.
I prayed she wouldn't say anything dumb, but she didn't seem the sharpest.
"Oh? Customer? It's you, right? The regular!"
She recognized me and greeted me all bright-eyed. I nodded awkwardly, forced to play along.
Please don't bring up my girlfriend, I begged silently in my chest... She glanced between Na-eun and me, then bowed her head and kept it to me.
"It's been a while, so I'll make it extra tasty for you!"
"Ah... yeah, thanks."
She had some tact, at least—no girlfriend talk. If she had, I'd have been mortified. Dodged a bullet there. Really.
Na-eun, oblivious to the exchange, was eyeing the veggies and glass noodles, picking what would taste best.
"Grab whatever you want."
"Got it~"
Na-eun nodded and started filling a bowl with glass noodles and veggies from the spread. Watching her, I did the same with my picks.
"Oppa, you eat cilantro?"
"Fine either way."
"Gotta pick the better option~"
"...If I have to choose, no thanks."
"Then I'll skip it!"
Na-eun, always so thoughtful—it really showed her sweet side. Made me feel like an idiot. Comparing her to that girl I'd come here with before? Total stupidity.
Realizing that, I focused even more on Na-eun. Right now, the one I was here with was her. That's what mattered.
The second Oppa walked into that shop, the part-timer recognized him and said hi. She was a girl, which bugged me a little, but that wasn't even the main issue right now.
It was that Oppa used to come to this mala tang place a lot.
I had a logical hunch. Mala tang's more popular with girls than guys. So regulars—especially guy ones—stick in the part-timers' and owners' minds.
That's probably why she remembered Oppa.
Did Oppa love mala tang? Probably not hate it, but not the type to seek it out. If he did, we'd have come here at least once together.
So why'd he come so often? Easy guess.
His girlfriend. That campus couple girl. He'd come here with her.
Jealous? Hell yeah. Burning with it. The thought of her sharing those cozy moments with Oppa, coloring his daily life with her shade—it pissed me off to no end.
So I stared at Oppa as he sat down. As he scooped mala tang, I shot him loving looks, laughed at his words, nodded along, tossed jokes his way, kept my eyes only on him.
I was overwriting those thick traces of her color in this mala tang shop with mine.
One by one, painting over his past daily shades with my own— it'd wipe out this jealousy clean and leave me blissfully happy.
For that happiness, for our overflowing-love future, I'd try even harder.
Or so I told myself...
Yeah, that was all just an excuse.
"Try this. Careful not to spill on your clothes."
"Okay!"
Oppa being so attentive even while eating mala tang? Adorably sweet. So reliable, so cool. It hit me again just how amazing and kind he was.
Was it wrong to shower someone like that with all my affection? No way.
Wiping out her color? Just a justification in my heart. What I really wanted was just Oppa. Only the Oppa smiling so gently at me.
After that delicious lunch, Oppa asked,
"Wanna hit up somewhere else to hang out?"
Things I wanted to do? Piles of them. Learn that game from him, read my favorite manga with him at a manga cafe. Go to a DVD room for a movie just us two, try couple board games at a board game cafe. And if possible, spend the night having fun—drinking, teasing naughty, exchanging loving glances and touches... then crossing into adult territory with Oppa.
"Hmm~ That sounds nice, but not today!"
But that's for future me.
"Once I get into uni, I'll play around the university district as a Jinhan University freshman with Oppa."
Pass Jinhan with Oppa's help, become his junior, and CC proudly. That's my goal right now.
Oppa smiled softly at that and nodded.
"Alright, then let's head home today."
"Yeah~"
I nodded eagerly, gazing up at him. He looked back with a grin and nodded too.
Just smiling and nodding—and he was so damn cool. Guess I've become someone who can't live without Oppa now. He's my whole world already.
I looked up at Oppa and nodded back. Brightly, full of love.