Becoming the Security Guard at the All-Female Boarding House
"Ajumma~ I'm home!"
"Eh? Seungchul?"
The door flew open, and a sweet, familiar scent washed over me. Ajumma's scent... I told myself it was rude to think that way, but right now? It just felt right. It had been so long since I'd been back here, and it felt... good. Like old times. I remembered everything.
"Mom, it's really you. How long has it been? Two years? Three?"
"Three. I've finished military service and graduated from college."
"Already? Time flies so fast."
"Yeah, I guess."
Ju Inha, thirty-eight years old, everyone just called her Ajumma. To me, she was basically like my second mother. When her mom was still alive, she'd just pop by to visit and say hello. After she passed away, Ajumma stepped up and became my guardian. Even now, she was an amazing person. We were only two years apart in age, yet she was leagues ahead of me.
"Mhm, I heard you graduated. You're probably starting job hunting, so I hope I didn't force you into something too much..."
"Eh? No, not at all. I just graduated and have been lounging around at home. Besides, if Ajumma asks for help, I'd quit my job and come."
Of course, beyond that, Ajumma was still incredible. Just looking at her relaxed expression told you that much.
"Hehe, you're exaggerating..."
"... ..."
Wow, milk. Somehow the days had passed and my chest hadn't gotten smaller... Wait, that wasn't the point at all. I wasn't here to talk about my body. I was here to talk about my business savvy, my business savvy. I quickly looked away and started scoping out the wide living room, trying to play it cool. "It looks like the place has gotten a lot bigger since I last visited. You must have spent a fortune on renovations."
"Last year Ajumma went all out. She packed all the old kids off to other villas and completely went crazy."
From what I remembered, Ajumma owned five buildings under her name. Back when I was a kid, there was just one small bungeoppang stall. How did it blow up to this? And one of those five was where Ajumma lived and ran the boarding house. She said she couldn't stand being around people's smells. "So should we sit and talk? Ajumma got a cookie from France a few days ago that was supposedly amazing. Do you still drink green tea okay?"
"Yes, everything's fine as long as you cook it right."
I used to live here before my military service too, so the housing was cheap. And then I got called back here years later. Actually, it wasn't really a call. It was more like Ajumma had saved another NEET right out of college. If there was a guardian angel in Korea, it had to be her. "Quick to the point, sorry, but what do you think of the offer I made?"
"Ah, the security job?"
"Mhm... I do need someone. I mean, it's a female-only place, so..."
Ajumma wanted me to be the security guard for her boarding house. She probably needed someone trustworthy because she was a woman herself, and the pay was actually pretty good. Living rent-free in the middle of Seoul, plus free meals, and after-tax 300,000 won a month. She kept apologizing the whole time, saying it was too much for her to ask. But why call it security? "Of course I'll do it."
"R-Really? It's okay?"
Why would someone think getting a security job was embarrassing? I'd never thought that. Even the legendary senior from our class with a 4.4 average GPA couldn't get a job after graduation, yet I was supposed to nitpick over this? I just needed a place to crash and a microwave to heat my daily chicken breast. Honor was one thing, but protein was another. "Honestly, I think the pay is a little too generous."
"What are you saying? It's only right I take care of you. How many years has it been since we last met... and Ajumma feels bad about it."
"...? What could she possibly feel bad about?"
"It's just that with only women living here, having one man around would cause all sorts of problems..."
"Eh?"
Wait, what was that?
"No, the guys who used to live here?"
"Everyone left. Some went to the military, some got jobs, others went back home after breaking up with their girlfriends... So only the girls were left. They decided to turn it female-only. About a year ago."
"...Ah..."
"Ri-Really? Is it that bad?"
"... ..."
So that's why. I should have been warned earlier. Watching Ajumma struggle to find the right words, I carefully kept my face neutral. "Are the people living here okay with it? With this pay, even a female security guard should be easy to find."
"Mhm, I already talked to the girls. They said they're fine since they knew me from when we were kids."
"So if it's just me, they probably think a male guard is weird too."
"T-That's right...? Oh no, I'm sorry. I should have asked you first..."
"Hrm..."
What now? My mouth wouldn't curve upward because my jaw was trembling from stress. Did Ajumma still see me as that little kid? If I asked every man in the world if they could get paid to do something like this, they'd call me crazy. It was a little awkward. I couldn't wear pants that hugged me anymore. "I'll do it."
"Eh? Really?"
"Yes. If Ajumma asks, I have to go even if she says I'm rowing a shrimp boat. Don't worry."
"Haah, thank goodness..."
Watching Ajumma pat her chest repeatedly, I shouted a silent victory inside. Did I somehow save the country in a past life? Maybe good people really did attract good fortune. "So the things I'll have to do are cleaning every morning and patrolling at night? Basically, I do all the hard work?"
The contract was signed without a hitch. The girls had agreed to the security guard position, and I added a few extra conditions, but nothing major. Most of them were things I'd helped with voluntarily when I lived here. The real worry was something else. "Mhm. And there's one more thing I have to protect..."
"What is it?"
It was that if the women fell in love with me, what should I do? I had no direct experience. I graduated from a male-only college, went straight to the military, and still had zero female experience. But I had plenty of indirect ones. I could picture those web novel and anime scenes where girls suddenly started catfighting over me. [Ha? Seungchul said he'd go shopping with me today. This huge-breasted cow.] or [Hng, Seungchul fixed my computer. Get back, Cliff-san.] Like that. If I handled it right, my long-cherished harem could become real. "Romance is strictly forbidden. If you do, both you and that woman get kicked out."
"Ah, yes."
Ugh, damn it. Dreams were still beautiful even when they were just dreams. *** "Here are your change."
"Yes, thank you."
Even with the no-romance rule, there was no reason to give up this honey job. I signed the contract and headed to the boarding house the next weekend with two suitcases. The studio I used to live in was free until the contract ended. It felt like if I got a good job, this would be mine someday too. Beep, beep, beep, beep. "I'm home~!"
Oh right. Ajumma had gone out to meet friends and wouldn't be back until night. That's why she gave me the password. I forgot it completely. But the house wasn't completely empty. There was a cheerful face waiting to greet me.
"...... Ha Seungchul?"
"Jiyoung?"
Name: Seo Jiyoung. Age: 26, same as me. Special note: Art major who draws webtoons. I remembered her showing me her Twitter feed once, bragging about how great her art was. "What are you doing here?"
"Eh? Didn't Ajumma tell you? I started working as security today. She said everything was settled..."
"Ah... right."
Jiyoung had lived here even before my military service, about three years ago. Back then she'd been sparkling with eyes while talking about becoming a painter. Now she looked like a total shut-in. Was it my imagination? "But what happened? Why do you look like that?"
"Haam-. I debuted. Living with a reversed schedule for a few months, anyone looks like this..."
"Debuted? You became a painter?"
"Painter? Bullshit. I draw webtoons lately..."
Ah, webtoon artist. Even a complete newbie like me could tell she drew beautifully. Whatever, I had to congratulate my friend on her new job. "Hey, I still have to congratulate you. What webtoon is it? Title? Site?"
"...... Disappear."
"Eh?"
"Disappear, you bastard."
"Eh...?"
Bang bang bang. Seo Jiyoung hurled a string of curses and stormed upstairs. What? Did I say something wrong? Maybe her personality had changed while I wasn't looking. Or maybe seeing her face after such a long time while wearing something embarrassing did it. She used to cover up everything, but the all-female boarding house made her more relaxed. "Should I apologize...?"
She'd heard my swearing, but it was because I'd just walked in. I was the only man here among so many women, so I definitely needed to show more consideration. And Jiyoung was one of the few friends who shared my perverted taste. Yeah. Time to apologize first. I walked toward the second floor where Jiyoung had gone. Knock knock. "Jiyoung."
"...! W-What, what, what?!"
"Sorry for scaring you. I wanted to apologize but I couldn't open the door."
"Ah, fuck....... Wait in front!"
There were some clattering sounds, then the door cracked open and Jiyoung peeked out. "Come in."
"E-Eh..."
The room I walked into was, honestly, a pigsty even if you tried to be nice. Half of what Ajumma asked me about—helping with room cleaning—must have been because of this. The smell was somehow sour and stinky. But I was here to apologize. No point arguing. "So what?"
"No... I came to apologize."
"What?"
"I don't know what, but I feel like I did something wrong? There's not many friends my age, so I wanted to get along better."
"Ha... Whatever. Go sleep. I have to."
"At this hour?"
"I have a deadline all night..."
Hmm, reversed schedules really did mess with people's personalities. But thinking about it, maybe it was true. When I used to work nights at the convenience store, she'd burst into my room demanding I look at her drawings. "Hey."
"Ah, you bastard. Why...?"
"I haven't seen you in a long time. Let's talk for a bit and then sleep. It's not a big deal to stay up a little late..."
"Haa, really."
Jiyoung let out a big sigh and pulled out her phone. Had she decided to ignore me completely? ...Was she calling Ajumma? No, friends could do that! "Hey, look straight at the screen."
"Eh?"
But instead of calling, Jiyoung turned her phone toward me. On the screen was a strange spiral pattern with this message: [Ha Seungchul, you will lie down and sleep on the first floor right now.] "...? What is this? Some new trend-?"
Ah, I was sleepy. I had to go downstairs and sleep. "Suddenly so sleepy..."
"Yeah. Unnie will wake up later and play with you, so go already..."
I opened the door and headed downstairs. My room was the one right in front of the entrance. I hadn't unpacked yet, but I was exhausted, so I just flopped onto the bed. My eyes were heavy, perfect sleep weather- "...Oppa."
"...... Eh?"
"Seungchul oppa!"
"Eh?"
"Why are you sleeping here without unpacking your stuff? Are you tired? Your aunt made dinner and wanted to wake you up for it... Kyaa?!"
"W-What, what, what?!"
Crazy. What was that just now?