The Ideal Type World Cup Meltdown
The guild leader rapping it out non-stop like that seems the craziest. I clutch my head in frustration. It feels like the anguish of a mathematician facing an unsolvable century-old puzzle. I release my hands from my head and glance up at the screen.
On the left, a blonde nun with her hands clasped in prayer, eyes closed, strongly appealing for me to pick her. Her innocent, round face and plain nun habit without any frills contrast with the garter belt subtly showing on her thigh—it's clear the creator of this Ideal Type World Cup knows their stuff. Would someone that cultured pick a random dancer image? No way.
Unlike the nun, whose only exposure is her thigh, the dancer is dressed in something closer to a swimsuit. While the nun's outfit is utterly plain, the dancer's is dazzlingly ornate—the polar opposites. Yet the dancer in the illustration doesn't seem embarrassed by the exposure; she wears a relaxed smile. The more I look, the more it feels like she's seducing me.
"...Wow. Where'd they get this illust? I wanna download the high-res version. Set it as my phone wallpaper."
"This is too hard from the start?" My breath catches. I love both to death. To the point where deciding a winner feels stupid. But right now, I have to pick? Why? 'Cause it's the Ideal Type World Cup!
"...Should I go with the nun after all?"
The chat erupts as soon as I say it.
...What? The nun's only "that good"? There's someone in my stream who doesn't get how amazing nuns are? My head spins a bit. I prop my forehead with my left hand. Deep breath. Yeah, they might not know. Calm down. Just explain it.
"Guys, here's why nuns are great. They've lived in isolated monasteries, so their common sense is lacking. Makeup? Sparkly jewelry necklaces? Fancy dresses? Possible in a convent? In this industry, nun characters are the epitome of frugal lives. That's ingrained in us. So when a nun gets even a little dolled up? It hits huge! That imbalance from giving a nun any flair! The disconnect! The depraved thrill from it! You're ditching a nun with infinite potential like that?"
I shake my head immediately at the chats urging the nun. Half-baked takes from know-nothings. I sigh deeply and open my mouth.
"But ditching the dancer would be idiotic too? Dancers have their own charms, y'know. Huh? That elegance from her fingertips! That confidence not ashamed of the skin! That expression only possible 'cause she sees herself as art! Knowing men lose their minds over her looks, even enjoying how they swoon over her every move—full-on femme fatale vibes!! And that mouth veil? It's the core, the key point. The finishing touch that completes the dancer concept. Veiling the face that makes first impressions, teasing just enough? Mystery and curiosity hit at once. Drives people insane? Yeah, ditching a dancer like that? Crazy bastard."
I finish my rant, catch my breath—again. Take a sip of water to moisten my parched mouth. Then glance back and forth between the nun and dancer.
"...Both are hot af, what do I do."
"Guys, this is seriously neck-and-neck, can't pick a clear winner. Gotta use a fair method."
"Here's the illust site every otaku raids for memes. More dancer tags? Pick dancer! More nun tags? Pick nun!!"
"It's fair, right?!"
I search nun tags and dancer tags. And the results?
"Alright! Nun tags split into two, picking the main one! Nuns... 16,010! Dancer tags: 5,268! Total domination! The winner of this fierce battle is the nun!"
"Nuns as fantasy staple party members really shows in the popularity gap."
Regrettable, but after this ultra-fair process, dancer's out. Matchups like this won't happen again soon. No need for such selection rituals for a while.
[Bunny Girl VS Maid]
"Bunny girl isn't even a job..."
...Never been to a casino, dunno if bunny girl big sis—er, unnies exist.
"Anyway, another total toss-up."
I hop back to the site for the fairest judgment. Fyi, bunny girls: 69,760. Maids: 179,978. Maids gangnam styleeee!!!
#
"Yes! Winner is maid!" I clap enthusiastically. Fierce... not really, maids crushed it. High school girl tags both neared 100k, some said pick her, but tons used both tags, so that died.
Anyway, super-duper fair Ideal Type World Cup...
Viewers aren't thrilled.
"Honestly, midway I felt like this ain't how Ideal Type World Cup works."
Me too, feels off. This ain't "ideal type," right? Normie pastime. Harder than expected. Hate to end like this...
"Alright, one more with a non-choice-proof theme. No repeats."
Otakudom-unrelated Ideal Type World Cup? That's the way.
"Got it! This time—"
"Stock saying: tuning's end is pure. Let's see why people do Ideal Type World Cup!"
And 30 minutes later.
"No, cost-performance wise, this is it! Chicken prices skyrocketed!"
Obsessed with value over taste, ramen beats chicken. Witnessing it firsthand, I realize late: I'm not cut out for Ideal Type World Cup. Normie games don't suit this loner. Confirmed again.
#
The tumultuous Ideal Type World Cup ends soon after, stream wraps. Check KakaoTalk right away. New editor Jo Yerong requests video approval.
"...This'll take a while?"
First vid from new editor. Tons to nitpick. Tempted to dump on tomorrow-me and sleep. But shake it off, rally remaining motivation. Not my first approval. Prep for late night, can finish today.
As I start video check—
"...Uncle?"
Uncle calling? This late? Something wrong? Worry creeps in. Deep breath, pick up cautiously.
"H-hello? Uncle? What's up?"
(Hari? Nothin' big... Stream was fun today!)
......Ah. Watched the stream, huh.