Cosplay Catastrophe and the Nun vs. Dancer Dilemma
Is that seriously the in-crowd's pastime? Well, yeah, I guess I wouldn't know!
The first thing I checked when I got home was cosplay info. After about five minutes of web surfing, I reached a quick conclusion.
"Custom-made it is, after all."
Raider is a brand-new game that's only just starting to make waves. Of course there'd be no official merch outfits for it yet. Plus, the protagonist's getup isn't some casual clothes—it's armor.
Cosplay armor? Pretty much everything out there was handmade by enthusiasts. Maybe mass production's a pain, or some other reason, but that's how it was in the real world.
So, should I try crafting the Raider protagonist's armor at home like a DIY project?
"...No friggin' way."
The second a klutz like me even attempts that, I'd waste time and money. And the end result? Total garbage, guaranteed.
What I wanted wasn't some kid's toy-level crap—it had to be pro-quality, the kind that leaves everyone gaping in awe.
So, time to outsource it to an expert. Who? A cosplay specialist shop?
Nah. If we're doing this—
"Blacksmith. Gotta hand it to a true craftsman."
We're doing it right.
A sigh escaped me unbidden.
"Should I just go with a cosplay pro shop?"
The urge to throw in the towel was creeping up. I dug up a few numbers and made some calls, but no dice—every one shot me down politely.
Makes sense, if you think about it. Who in this day and age commissions armor from a blacksmith? They'd probably take orders for sickles, scissors, or kitchen knives at best.
Problem was, I was the idiot stuck needing to do something that nuts. Explaining my situation calmly over the phone just got me kind rejections: "We don't handle that sort of thing."
...Give up?
Life throws compromise moments at you now and then. Was this one of them?
"Nah, let's try a bit longer."
Cosplay's all about quality—the impression it makes varies wildly based on that. To go viral on NewTube, it needs massive impact. And half-assed won't cut it.
Either make it so hideous it's a joke, or so stunning it blows minds. Gotta nail one or the other.
Why cosplay? To become Raider's partner streamer. So maybe dodging anything that could trash the game's image is smart?
...And hey, if I'm cosplaying anyway, I wanna look drop-dead gorgeous. Human nature, right?
"Sigh. There was never a real choice to begin with."
Muttering that, I dove back into web surfing. Gotta earn that crown before worrying about its weight.
"Total wipeout, huh?"
And despair set in.
Time flows equally for everyone. No such thing as it slowing down for your sob story.
Applies to me too. Even with my cosplay plans hitting snags from the jump, time marched on, and stream time arrived.
One tiny snag, though.
"...What the hell do I even stream today?"
Unlike usual, I had zero plans. My excuse? That damn competitive streak. Normally I'd cool off and postpone, but the armor rabbit hole ate hours, broke my brakes, and I charged ahead, ignoring streamer basics.
No payoff, naturally. If there'd been any, I'd feel better.
Can't spill this to viewers, though.
...Why? 'Cause if it's big ambitious content, you wanna drop it as a surprise!
Anyway, five minutes till stream. Gotta pick 2nd-half content in that window.
"Part 1 with the sub-game Jewel Connector can fill time somehow..."
Part 2 loomed. Another singing stream? Nope—back-to-back strains the throat, bad idea.
So what—
"Ah."
Stream time. Fired it up with zero Part 2 ideas.
...Something'll come to me mid-game, right?
"Alright, Part 1's wrapped—time for Part 2...!"
...What now? My brain felt like a blank slate today. Stuff I'd normally spitball instantly? Nada. Even a decent game? Nope.
Brain fried from cosplay stress? Silence drags.
Lips twitch.
Can't clam up forever, though.
"For Part 2 today, you guys decide! Ta-da!!"
Spilled the truth, sugarcoated for palatability. Reactions? Predictable.
Holy stream desecrated by wingin' it—chat's out for blood. (Though "blood" means spamming hate, obvs.)
"Shush! I've been grinding hard lately, right?! One chill stream ain't the end of the world!!"
Dead Night Rise haunts live Merhen. Peak stream identity at this point.
Anyway.
"Screw it, belly out! No stream till you suggest content!"
Arms up high to declare my resolve.
And then—a donation pinged.
"...Ideal Type World Cup?"
"Isn't that the in-crowd's pastime? Explains why I wouldn't know!"
What to say? Expected some backlash, but facing it? Infuriating. Way more than getting flak for no Part 2 prep amid cosplay hell.
I am a total normie reject. For real...!!!
"...Let's do Ideal Type World Cup then. Just search it up?"
No one's buying my sincere cries anyway—swallow the tears and roll.
But someday I'll prove it. Someday...!!!
With that, hopped on an Ideal Type World Cup site.
"Everything under the sun? Idol World Cup, Anime Waifu World Cup, Ramen World Cup, Food World Cup, Car World Cup..."
Scrolling slowly.
...Nothing jumps out. Closest is Anime Waifu? Meh.
Same wavelength as me, as expected. So Anime Waifu World Cup it—
"Guys. How many other streamers have done Anime Waifu World Cup?"
"A fair few," huh. Kinda rebellious now.
"Any of these?"
Taste, job, heroine, waifu—mash 'em into search.
"There!"
Nailed my perfect Ideal Type World Cup: Heroine Job Taste World Cup.
"You called me a fashion noob, right?"
Flash a grin. Smug as hell.
"Time to prove it with this. Fashion noob or not."
Style ain't just clothes—I'll show ya!
"...Huh?"
First matchup: straight to finals.
Nun VS Dancer
Choices so brutal, mercy killing might be kinder.